syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup

August Moon. 23. You probably know my brother. Might know me. I have a kid.

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

August kisses her hand, smiling at her as he took off his shoes. “Thank you baby… I’m glad I had you and everyone with me.” He admitted m, kissing her back. At her request he nodded, getting up and taking off his suit jacket. “Sure baby. And I get it, it’s scary.” He took her hand, leading her into their bathroom and turning on the light. He put the toilet lid down and sat, looking at her as he undid his tie. “You know… with Rae gone we do have the apartment all to yourselves…” He pointed out, referring to her being at a little summer camp for the week.

She smiled in relief, feeling much safer with him there and less superstitious of the possibility that she’d open the cabinet and find - well - body parts - and began to remove her make up. “You’re so good at acting,” she gushed. “I can’t even think of you guys as remotely similar. It didn’t feel like I was watching you up there,” she admitted, before turning to him with racoon-y eyes, halfway through removing the make up. “I’m so proud of you,” she murmured, leaning down to kiss him again. She couldn’t help it if he looked kissable, okay? She bit her lip with a little grin and turned to face the mirror again. “Oh yeah? What are you suggesting, mister?”

[august-m-moon-blog]

"Thank you princess... your opinion always means the most to be baby." The blonde grinned widely, returning her kiss. "You know what I'm suggesting..." He got up, standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing along her shoulder. "Need help with getting this off?"

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

Isabella gripped August’s hand tightly as they walked back into their apartment, from their car, still a little jumpy from the movie. She suddenly understood why it had affected him so much, since she hadn’t really been able to envision how scary it was. She pouted a little as she looked at her fiancee - it was almost impossible to reconcile him with the scary person he played onscreen. Once they were inside their bedroom, she let out a relieved sigh as she reached down to pull off her heels. “You were amazing tonight, baby,” she murmured, cupping his cheek with one hand and pecking him on the lips. She fidgeted a little awkwardly and looked at their bathroom, which suddenly looked a lot scarier than before, and then smiled sheepishly at him. “…do you mind keeping me company in the bathroom?” She asked shyly. “I’m… kinda scared…” She admitted, ducking her head in embarrassment.

[august-m-moon-blog]

August kisses her hand, smiling at her as he took off his shoes. "Thank you baby... I'm glad I had you and everyone with me." He admitted m, kissing her back. At her request he nodded, getting up and taking off his suit jacket. "Sure baby. And I get it, it's scary." He took her hand, leading her into their bathroom and turning on the light. He put the toilet lid down and sat, looking at her as he undid his tie. "You know... with Rae gone we do have the apartment all to yourselves..." He pointed out, referring to her being at a little summer camp for the week.

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon

August kisses her back. “I like The Princess Bride. How about you get up, heat the food up, and I’ll go put on the movie?”

Isabella nodded, wiping at her face a little. “Okay. I gotta clean up too,” she pouted, pointedly rubbing at the running make up on her face.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"You don't have to. But you you can if you want. But I can't move until you do since you're, you know, on top of me." He raised an eyebrow.

[4ustinmooon-blog]

august-m-moon

“I’m not leaving. I really want to watch a movie and cuddle on the couch and eat. What’s a really good happy movie that doesn’t really have sad moments?” He asked.

Isabella gave him a proper smile and then properly kissed him on the lips. “Okay. Hm… Most movies have some kind of sad part. Maybe Meet the Millers? Shrek? Oh! The Princess Bride.”

[august-m-moon-blog]

August kisses her back. "I like The Princess Bride. How about you get up, heat the food up, and I'll go put on the movie?"

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon

August nodded, giving her a small smile. “Do you wanna hear the food up and watch a movie on the couch?” He asked quietly, opening his eyes to look at her.

Isabella relaxed at his smile and gave him a small smile too. “Promise you won’t leave?” She double checked, brushing her lips against his.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"I'm not leaving. I really want to watch a movie and cuddle on the couch and eat. What's a really good happy movie that doesn't really have sad moments?" He asked.

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon

“I didn’t want to worry you… plus you totally get cranky sometimes when you’re woken up too early…” he pointed out. “You can deny it all you want but sometimes you are. But I still love you when you’re cranky. And besides I just stay awake for hours and hours and to have your classes so you need all the sleep you can get.” At her next statement he nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay… I’m willing to go see a therapist if it’ll maybe help.”

“August, I will always, always rather worry about you than be ignorant. I can’t be there for you if you’re too afraid to tell me you need me,” she said gently. Isabella threaded her fingers through his hair. “Besides, all my lectures are available online… it isn’t a big deal if I miss a few, and it definitely doesn’t matter if it’s because of you. You are always my priority. Okay?” Isabella nodded and kissed the tip of his nose. “Let’s make an appointment with one tomorrow morning. I know a few good ones.”

[august-m-moon-blog]

August nodded, giving her a small smile. "Do you wanna hear the food up and watch a movie on the couch?" He asked quietly, opening his eyes to look at her.

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon

“I’m not saying I don’t want the big wedding at all. I just… maybe we be legally married first and then have the big ceremony. That’s what I meant. That way you can get all of the stuff that you’ve always wanted.” At her question he nodded slowly, closing his eyes. “Yeah… that could work.. just us for now. And then big wedding later when I don’t feel like… this, I guess. And you can say you’re not disappointed in me but I’m disappointed in myself… I should have never taken that movie.”

Isabella nodded slowly and then cupped his cheek with a sigh. “You didn’t tell me about the nightmares…” she murmured in concern. “…you know you can wake me up. It’s not like I would get mad at you…” She sighed and kissed his forehead. “Don’t say that. You did amazingly in this movie. And you were so excited about being cast… Let’s take you to see a therapist, okay?”

[august-m-moon-blog]

"I didn't want to worry you... plus you totally get cranky sometimes when you're woken up too early..." he pointed out. "You can deny it all you want but sometimes you are. But I still love you when you're cranky. And besides I just stay awake for hours and hours and to have your classes so you need all the sleep you can get." At her next statement he nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay... I'm willing to go see a therapist if it'll maybe help."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“Isabella, what if…. what if I never get back to feeling normal? What if it takes too long? Like over half a year? What do we do then? We could… we could just elope and then have an actual ceremony later… I don’t know.. everyone’s going to be so disappointed in me if we postpone the wedding…”

Isabella tried to hide her disappointment. She had always dreamed of having a huge wedding because she hadn’t gotten to have a ‘huge’ anything-else, and she wanted a day that was entirely perfect and for her - but if August couldn’t do it, then she had to swallow her pride and put aside her own desires for the time being to make sure he was better. “We…” She trailed off, reluctant to put it aside, but every word he said made her feel worse and worse. “We could just elope. We can go down to the courthouse next week and sign the papers. Austin and Malcolm could be our witnesses,” she said slowly, before pulling her face away from his neck and sighing as she rested her forehead against his. “Baby… Nobody will be disappointed in you… And I promise that I’m not disappointed in you. Okay? We could… We could even just…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “We could even just….. have a small, intimate get together, with just our family and maybe Dez and Trish. Do you think that won’t be as overwhelming, maybe?” She suggested, sounding strained.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"I'm not saying I don't want the big wedding at all. I just... maybe we be legally married first and then have the big ceremony. That's what I meant. That way you can get all of the stuff that you've always wanted." At her question he nodded slowly, closing his eyes. "Yeah... that could work.. just us for now. And then big wedding later when I don't feel like... this, I guess. And you can say you're not disappointed in me but I'm disappointed in myself... I should have never taken that movie."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“The wedding and the business are both your dreams. I would never be able to forgive myself if I messed either of those up. And I want to marry you but not when I’m having nightmares on edge.” He said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder.

“But…” she mumbled, unable to form a logical argument. Instead, she just hugged him even tighter and tried to figure out how to make him stay. “We can work through it,” she promised him, pressing shaky kisses to his neck. She changed her mind and instead buried her face in his neck again. “We… we can… we can p-postpone it, I gu-ess…” She mumbled, swallowing hard. “I just… I want you. I want all of you. I don’t care when I have you, I just want to know that I have you,” she tried to say, not sure how to make it make sense.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"Isabella, what if.... what if I never get back to feeling normal? What if it takes too long? Like over half a year? What do we do then? We could... we could just elope and then have an actual ceremony later... I don't know.. everyone's going to be so disappointed in me if we postpone the wedding..."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“You’re focused on the wedding and school I can’t… I can’t have you worrying about me. You need to focus on school so you can open your business.” He sighed. “I know. It was dumb. But I do want to have more kids. I do. And you don’t want a baby right now anyways.” He leaned his forehead against her’s. “I’m making you cry. I think I should leave for now.”

“You matter so much more to me than some fortune telling business, August,” she whimpered, closing her eyes and shuffling into his lap. She hugged him tightly, wrapping both her legs around his waist. “Our wedding means a lot to me but what’s important is that it’s with you. With you feeling as wonderful and happy about it as I do.” She buried her face in his neck, knowing he wouldn’t mind that she was smearing tears and snot on him. “I’ll cry more if you leave,” she mumbled.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"The wedding and the business are both your dreams. I would never be able to forgive myself if I messed either of those up. And I want to marry you but not when I'm having nightmares on edge." He said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder.

[4ustinmooon-blog]

august-m-moon:

“Thanks, Austin. I love you. You’re the best twin. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.” He cuddled in a little closer yawning again before closing his eyes. “Promise you’ll wake me in like an hour?”

“Oh, I know,” he said cockily, looking quite pleased with himself. He grinned and closed his eyes too. “Pinky promise,” he declared.

[august-m-moon-blog]

August nodded, slowly falling asleep.

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“Oh, Isabella… I didn’t mean I don’t want to marry you at all. Of course I do. You’re my soulmate and I’m still very much in love with you.” He sighed, reaching to wipe away some of her tears. “I know my logic is messed up but… I almost feel like having a baby again will make me feel more myself. It will get my mind off of everything. The wedding planning is your thing… look, just forget I said anything. I’m just fucking everything up like I do everything and making you cry and I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I should… I should leave…”

She started to calm down a little at his words, swallowing heavily and reaching up quickly to grab his wrist and keep his hand against her face. “I can get your mind off everything,” she said quickly, shuffling in closer and looking worried. “August… I don’t want to have a baby if it’s because having a baby might make you feel better…” she sighed, before her eyes went wide and she shook her head rapidly. “You don’t fuck things up. You’re wonderful. I love you. I - I don’t want you to leave,” she said, lower lip trembling. “Don’t leave. Stay,” she pleaded.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"You're focused on the wedding and school I can't... I can't have you worrying about me. You need to focus on school so you can open your business." He sighed. "I know. It was dumb. But I do want to have more kids. I do. And you don't want a baby right now anyways." He leaned his forehead against her's. "I'm making you cry. I think I should leave for now."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“I would rather you burst my bubble than lie to me. I would always rather hear the truth than you lie. Look… I’m not bad about you not wanting a baby right now. I’m fine with waiting. I’m mad because you weren’t 100% honest with me.” At her question he sighed, sitting beside her. “I haven’t really slept the last few nights. I keep having nightmares and waking up and not being able to sleep again for hours and even then it’s only like an hour or something.” He admitted, fiddling with his thumbs. “I don’t… I don’t know when I’ll be myself again. I always feel, um, I don’t know… kind of paranoid? And I’m overthinking things more and more. I mean I know I usually do that but it’s gotten worse and… and with this I… I don’t know if I want to marry you like this. I don’t know if I’ll feel more myself by then. I kind of always feel on edge. I don’t know how to be myself and I don’t want to marry you when I’m not myself.”

“But I didn’t lie! I said that we should wait for a bit!” She protested. Isabella looked at her lap, trying to figure out what the most subtle way to wipe her face without him noticing would be. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re…. You’re very fragile right now,” she tried to explain, before the tear finally rolled down the length of her nose and plopped onto the back of her hand. Isabella wiped at it and swallowed, still refusing to look up. “Why would you want to b-bring our ch-child into the world with you feeling like this?” She asked breathily, before she started to breathe quickly, the tears rolling much faster now. Isabella finally looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes pink and watery. “Y-You don’t wanna marry me?” She wheezed, clutching her chest with one hand and looking impossibly hurt. “How… how come we can… how come we can have a baby with you not feeling like yourself but… but we c-can’t get m-m-ma–” she broke off, swallowing hard and hyperventilating.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"Oh, Isabella... I didn't mean I don't want to marry you at all. Of course I do. You're my soulmate and I'm still very much in love with you." He sighed, reaching to wipe away some of her tears. "I know my logic is messed up but... I almost feel like having a baby again will make me feel more myself. It will get my mind off of everything. The wedding planning is your thing... look, just forget I said anything. I'm just fucking everything up like I do everything and making you cry and I'm stupid. I'm sorry. I should... I should leave..."

[4ustinmooon-blog]

august-m-moon:

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to disappoint you or anything. I know you wanna spend all of today together. But if you’re really okay with me napping for like an hour then I’m down to nap.”

“Well, you won’t be enjoying our day if you’re super tired,” he pointed out, before he smiled and cuddled him. “Besides, I still get to spend time with you like this.”

[august-m-moon-blog]

"Thanks, Austin. I love you. You're the best twin. I couldn't ask for anyone better." He cuddled in a little closer yawning again before closing his eyes. "Promise you'll wake me in like an hour?"

[4ustinmooon-blog]

august-m-moon:

“We could do that…” He murmured, turning to face his twin with a yawn. “Wait, lunch? What time is it? I should probably get dressed. But yeah I’m hungry, food is good.”

“It’s not lunchtime yet,” Austin exclaimed quickly, looking embarrassed. “It’s only 9.30. I came early so we could spend all day together,” he explained sheepishly. “But you can nap first if you like. I don’t mind. It’ll be like when we were kids and had to share a bed when I broke mine from jumping on it too much,” he grinned.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"Are you sure you don't mind? I don't want to disappoint you or anything. I know you wanna spend all of today together. But if you're really okay with me napping for like an hour then I'm down to nap."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“So you just decided instead of being honest with me you wanted to lie to my face? About having kids? Which is kind of a big deal?” He asked before sighing, standing up. “It’s not even the fact that you lied to me. Or that you aren’t ready to have kids. It’s what you lied about. We’re supposed to be getting married in a few months, Isabella. How can you just lie to my face?” The blonde ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe we should rethink getting married. Maybe we need to be engaged longer. I don’t know I’m just… I’m mad and fucking hurt right now. And you know I’m not in a good spot mentally I just… I don’t know how I can do this right now.” He picked up his plate, carrying it into the kitchen- his appetite wasn’t really there any longer. In fact he almost felt like throwing up.

Isabella stood as well, carrying her plate over with him. “I technically didn’t lie,” she protested, putting their meals in the fridge since it seemed apparent that neither of them wanted to eat. “The wedding stuff is all real! I just didn’t tell the whole truth!” She fidgeted with her hands. “I didn’t want to let you down. You were so excited about it, I just… I couldn’t bring you down like that.” At his next words, she looked hurt and took a step back and tripped over her own feet (because, well, she was clumsy), falling on her butt on the floor. “Ow,” she mumbled, rubbing her butt. Her eyes filled with tears and she ducked her head so he wouldn’t see. “But that’s another thing. We shouldn’t be trying to make a baby until you’re feeling better again, August,” she tried to say calmly, but her voice hitched towards the end. She stared down at her lap, too embarrassed to try standing up again or to even look at him. “You… Y-You don’t…. You don’t really mean that, r-right?” She asked, swallowing heavily and trying to stop herself from crying.

[august-m-moon-blog]

"I would rather you burst my bubble than lie to me. I would always rather hear the truth than you lie. Look... I'm not bad about you not wanting a baby right now. I'm fine with waiting. I'm mad because you weren't 100% honest with me." At her question he sighed, sitting beside her. "I haven't really slept the last few nights. I keep having nightmares and waking up and not being able to sleep again for hours and even then it's only like an hour or something." He admitted, fiddling with his thumbs. "I don't... I don't know when I'll be myself again. I always feel, um, I don't know... kind of paranoid? And I'm overthinking things more and more. I mean I know I usually do that but it's gotten worse and... and with this I... I don't know if I want to marry you like this. I don't know if I'll feel more myself by then. I kind of always feel on edge. I don't know how to be myself and I don't want to marry you when I'm not myself."

[isabella-jupiter-blog]

august-m-moon:

“I’m not saying it’s weird but… you reasoning that you gave doesn’t make sense. And I want to start trying to have kids because sometimes it takes a while, Isabella. It’s not like I’m expecting it to happen right away. And I want to have kids because I love you and want to make our family bigger. And I miss taking care of a baby and I know Rae gets lonely sometimes being an only child. There’s a bunch of reasons.” August sighed, running his hands through his hair.

She wrinkled her nose and stared at her barely-touched dinner. “Do I need a reason?” She asked eventually, slowly looking up and meeting his gaze with raised eyebrows. Isabella fidgeted with her fork. “I know I want to have kids with you. It’s just… You really suddenly got all excited about pregnancy and babies and stuff and I’ve always known you wanted to have more kids I just… didn’t expect it to be so soon,” she explained, swallowing hard. She absently tapped the fork against the side of her plate. “I guess I just wanted a little while to adjust to the idea first. That’s all. And… I don’t want to be stressing out over pregnancy stuff while we’re still planning our wedding. And I wanna drink fancy wine and champagne and have smoked salmon and blue cheese at our wedding and I won’t be able to indulge in stuff like that if I’m pregnant…”

[august-m-moon-blog]

"So you just decided instead of being honest with me you wanted to lie to my face? About having kids? Which is kind of a big deal?" He asked before sighing, standing up. "It's not even the fact that you lied to me. Or that you aren't ready to have kids. It's what you lied about. We're supposed to be getting married in a few months, Isabella. How can you just lie to my face?" The blonde ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe we should rethink getting married. Maybe we need to be engaged longer. I don't know I'm just... I'm mad and fucking hurt right now. And you know I'm not in a good spot mentally I just... I don't know how I can do this right now." He picked up his plate, carrying it into the kitchen- his appetite wasn't really there any longer. In fact he almost felt like throwing up.