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16.76 Carnival

I can’t stand how this one’s filmed—wobbly camera even when people are standing still and beyond close close-ups—and the quality’s terrible too.

It’s mostly an episode about race, which always makes me want to know if the writer was Whitey McWhiterson or not and I couldn’t find out any info on this one. Gary is annoyed at being seen as The Black Cop and wants to achieve things on his own merits, while Danny is pragmatic and thinks that racism will always exist so you might as well make the most of the few opportunities black people get.

It’s nice for Gary to have a focus ep before he leaves, but it’s a poorly paced one, with a lot of nothing and then a lot of A LOT right at the end. Could make a good case from it for Danny/Gary, though…

#the bill #tb: carnival #cass rickman #dale smith #gary mccann #danny glaze #jack meadows #paul riley #sam harker #the bill: 2000 #the bill: series 16 #jeillo edwards #little britain guest stars #absolutely fabulous guest stars #league of gentlemen guest stars #spaced guest stars #black books guest stars #red dwarf guest stars

16.75 A Girl’s Best Friend

How this is filmed really gives the impression of a lovestruck Alex locking himself in a darkened room to watch videos of Vik on repeat. I mean, he does have extremely pretty eyes.

[Oh hey, I'm alive (just). Life is being very LIFE at the moment, so I only get the chance to watch the show about once a fortnight.]

Jenny finding evidence and thinking it was proof of Dave cheating was sooooo tropey. Nice to see Debbie & Paul getting good screen time right away, though.

I do like the “someone’s coming—kiss me!” trope, although preferably with people more shippy than Duncan & Debbie.

#the bill #tb: a girl's best friend #andrew monroe #derek conway #nick klein #paul riley #jack meadows #dave quinnan #polly page #vik singh #debbie mcallister #alex cullen #duncan lennox #tom chandler #ben hayward #matthew boyden #jenny delaney #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.74 On the Hook: Part Two

HARKER: Only thick people get bored.

My ADHD would like to have a word with you, Sam.

MEADOWS: If you don’t want me, why support me? CHANDLER: It’s called politics, Jack.

I think that Wheal does a good job here of not immediately making Chandler into a supervillain because of his attitude towards a long-term and well-liked character. All she has to do is show Jack’s bad side in all its glory—his inability to keep it in his pants or care about anybody other than himself.

Steven Hartley’s very good from the beginning as Chandler. That toothy smile, in particular, has real shark vibes. I don’t know how much they had planned for the character at this early point, but you certainly get the impression that he’s not only bad news for Jack. You can certainly see that he understands politics better than Charles, for all of Charles’ devotion to appearances.

I do like Derek looking after Jack in this double; I enjoy the episodes where the friend half of frenemies is at the fore. And poor Duncan, receiving Jack’s confidences when he really doesn’t want to!

#the bill #tb: on the hook pt2 #cass rickman #jack meadows #derek conway #tom chandler #duncan lennox #mickey webb #kate spears #danny glaze #sam harker #debbie mcallister #alex cullen #vik singh #the bill: writer: elizabeth anne wheal #kate spears/mickey webb #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.73 On the Hook: Part One

MEADOWS: I was doing my job. CHANDLER: Were you doing Mrs Freeley as well?

SINGH: Mine’s black, Paul. RILEY: That’s a little more information than I needed, Sarge.

CHANDLER: What about Spears? CULLEN: She seems keen. CHANDLER: I like the look of her record. CULLEN: Is that all?

Chandler (I can’t call him Tom because Tom is Tom) certainly doesn’t take a backseat on his first day at the station, going OTT with his efforts to charm everyone except Jack. He’s generally pretty successful, but there’s already a hint of darkness underneath the smiles.

Jack, meanwhile, chooses the absolute worst time to go OTS. And Mickey chooses the absolute worst time to vomit.

16.72 All Fall Down: Part Two

HOLMES: What’s happened here over the last couple of days is a complete travesty. Everyone in CID’s been made to feel like criminals. And, with no evidence, as far as I can see. It appears that CIB want to believe that we’re guilty until proven innocent.

😍

HOLMES: I want a transfer out of this place. And I want it now. Sir.

MANNION: It seems you have friends. So you can thank them. But there are going to be changes around here.

DEAKIN: Up yours, Jack.

STANTON: [internal] I’m going to get him, John. I promise you.

And that’s it for Kerry (😭), Chris, Geoff and Steve Hodges, and the last we’ll see of Claire & Don as regular cast members. It’s an unfair exit for Geoff, given that he was the only person who saw right through Don, and an iconic exit for Kerry, who should’ve been around a lot longer.

#the bill #tb: all fall down pt2 #claire stanton #derek conway #kerry holmes #jack meadows #chris deakin #geoff daly #sam harker #don beech #steve hodges #guy mannion #maggie lyons #the bill: writer: chris ould #the bill: last episode #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.71 All Fall Down: Part One (Part Two)

MANNION: There will be life after Brownlow. CONWAY: Meaning? MANNION: We’ll need a replacement. CONWAY: Do I look that stupid? You’ve got no intention of promoting me. I’m altogether too unfashionable.

BROWNLOW: I never took you for a cynic, Andrew. It’s a rather refreshing discovery to make at this late stage. MONROE: Thank you, sir.

BROWNLOW: I shall be resigning, with immediate effect.

BROWNLOW: These are the best people you’ll ever serve with. You mess them about, I’ll have your guts for a neck tie. CONWAY: Better late than never.

Charles isn’t very likeable most of the time, but it really is the end of an era when he leaves. From the first episode (bar Woodentop) right through to 16.71 is a good run. I’ll miss him with Derek, if not him alone.

16.71 All Fall Down: Part One (Part One)

TOMMY: Get your hands away from the desk. HOLMES: I need my bag. FORD: I think you’ve got to realise that this is a crime scene. HOLMES: I still need my keys. TOMMY: They’ll be returned to you in due course. HOLMES: So how do you suggest I get into my flat, then? DALY: Kerry, come on. MASTERS: Tommy, give her the keys. HOLMES: Thank you so much.

Ah, Kerry, I’ll miss you :(

(To be continued...)

16.70 The River

Steve is too arrogant to listen to Claire’s warnings and foolishly trusts Don—with the expected result.

Fics: The Very Secret Diary of Rodney Skase (2000) & Epilogue

The Very Secret Diary of Rodney Skase (2000) (1795 words) Fandom: The Bill (TV) Relationships: Tom Proctor/Rod Skase Series: Part 3 of Secret Diaries of Rodney Skase

The Very Secret Diary of Rodney Skase: Epilogue (195 words) Fandom: The Bill (TV) Relationships: Tom Proctor/Rod Skase Series: Conclusion of Secret Diaries of Rodney Skas

The extremely confidential musings of a detective constable—part three & conclusion. Canonical character death warning. Less humour, more shipping, because 2000 is when everything went very wrong.

#the bill #the bill fanfic #the bill slash #rod skase/tom proctor

16.69 Fifty-Fifty (Part Two)

STANTON: Don’t you dare tell me what John thought of me. Don’t you dare. I know what John thought of me.

STANTON: I know that John went to meet you last night. BEECH: Yeah. STANTON: Did you kill him? BEECH: I could talk about John’s death, Claire. STANTON: Well, go on. BEECH: But who would I be talking to? STANTON: What do you mean? BEECH: Well, if you are fronting a CIB operation, then take me to your guv’nor. I’ll spill my guts to him. Tell you stuff that you never even suspected. STANTON: I don’t understand. BEECH: All you have to understand is that if you are CIB, you and I walk out of here together, all right? But if you’re just John’s woman, who got a bit nosy, well… I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Claire. *cracks knuckles*

It’s what John would’ve wanted. 😂

Clara Salaman’s so good in this one and the juxtaposition of CID getting drunk in the pub and Don trying to cut a deal in the CIB office is very clever—both reducing John’s life to very little.

#the bill #tb: fifty-fifty #claire stanton #kerry holmes #don beech #jack meadows #danny glaze #geoff daly #chris deakin #duncan lennox #steve hodges #maggie lyons #mickey webb #the bill: writer: j c wilsher #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.69 Fifty-Fifty (Part One)

QUINNAN: The report of a body at the Bagford Rd Industrial Estate… confirm that there is a body at this location. [pause] It’s DS Boulton.

BEECH: He’s dead, Maggie.

GLAZE: That’s very generous. QUINNAN: Not really. GLAZE: Fifty quid? QUINNAN: It’s guilt, actually. I never liked him.

(To be continued…)

#the bill #tb: fifty-fifty #andrew monroe #claire stanton #jim carver #john boulton #don beech #danny glaze #jack meadows #dave quinnan #di worrell #matthew boyden #charles brownlow #steve hodges #maggie lyons #mickey webb #the bill: writer: j c wilsher #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.68 Find the Lady (Part Two)

John doesn’t really seem like a Jamiroquai kinda guy…

STANTON: You know I love you, John. BOULTON: No, I didn’t.

BOULTON: Do you trust me? STANTON: If you mean Lynette— BOULTON: No, I don’t. Do you trust me? Yes or no. STANTON: Yes.

BOULTON: Apart from the fact that you love me, is there anything else you forgot to tell me? [pause] I’m serious, Claire. Is there anything that you wanted to tell me? [pause] You know, whatever it is, or however bad that you think it is, you can tell me. I’m not going to desert you.

BEECH: Listen, you stupid bastard. I’m trying to save your life! Don’t you understand?

Don’s hair is short again and we’re back to 4:3. And, as always with the most important episodes, the image quality is dark & terrible.

Still not a fan of this episode, for obvious reasons, but I do think it does a good job of showing Don’s desperation & just how much he’s backed himself into a corner.

#the bill #tb: find the lady #claire stanton #john boulton #don beech #the bill: last episode #the bill: writer: steve griffiths #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.68 Find the Lady (Part One)

(To be continued…)

#the bill #tb: find the lady #claire stanton #john boulton #kerry holmes #don beech #chris deakin #steve hodges #maggie lyons #the bill: writer: steve griffiths #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.67 In Safe Hands

We’re in widescreen, and Don’s hair is browner and a couple of inches longer than it was last episode. I’d love to know why this one was shot so out of order.

Danny’s a dick in this one, talking about a 14yo being abused by his foster mother as “getting his leg over.” It reflects the attitude of the time (and of a lot of people these days, unfortunately) but it seems OOC for it to come from Danny.

Another guest appearance from Joanna Bacon.

#the bill #tb: in safe hands #cass rickman #andrew monroe #claire stanton #john boulton #sam harker #danny glaze #duncan lennox #don beech #steve hodges #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000 #him & her guest stars #little britain guest stars #one foot in the grave guest stars #if you see god tell him guest stars

16.66 Fake Fur (Part Two)

BOULTON: Claire? STANTON: Hmm? BOULTON: Will you marry me?

Nothing more impetuous than asking someone you’ve been back together with for a day to marry you. Burger King, though, John? Really?

STANTON: John, you’re crazy. Why d’you want to get married? BOULTON: ‘Cause I love you.

The blur on this episode makes it look like it should be viewed in 3D.

I like Maggie. She deserves better than Don.

#the bill #tb: fake fur #claire stanton #john boulton #don beech #chris deakin #maggie lyons #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.66 Fake Fur (Part One)

BOULTON: You know, that’s the difference between you and me. You’re calculating; I’m just the straightforward impetuous type.

STANTON: We could’ve blown the whole thing just because his posh voice got up your Scousey nose!

(To be continued…)

#the bill #tb: fake fur #claire stanton #john boulton #don beech #chris deakin #steve hodges #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

16.65 Touch and Go (Part Two)

And John continues his tradition of putting his trust in older men he really shouldn’t be trusting…

STANTON: Well, it’s just, um… working together after all this time… you know. It reminded me… [pause] I don’t know what I’m trying to say. [pause] I just wanted to let you know how I felt. BOULTON: Don’t, Claire. Let’s just not go there. I can’t handle it. I’m sorry.

BEECH: Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Boulter is so good in this one, being all quiet and wounded. It makes the Beech Is Dodgy stuff more bearable.

#the bill #tb: touch and go #claire stanton #john boulton #don beech #chris deakin #mickey webb #steve hodges #the bill: writer: neil clarke #the bill: series 16 #the bill: 2000

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