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Shrooms: The Anti-aphrodisiac

Tripping on shrooms destroyed my sex life. That’s it.Thanks for showing up and reading this.The end . . .It could be left like that and it would still be a full story in itself, at least I think so. Trying to move past traumas and heal during a series of nervous breakdowns, I tried psychadelics as a way to get a better grip on my mental health. I regret doing that. I am not a “shrooms…

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A Note About Mental Health

Hi.I’m crazy.I know that I’m crazy.This, for some reason, bothers people and I think it makes them think I’m not actually mentally ill. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to not think I’m crazy when several things seem to point to it and part of my brain still works alright, because crazy isn’t stupid. I can think, see, examine, ponder, imagine, rationalize at times and even with extreme effort and…

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I guess it takes all kinds

Someone who didn’t grow up wanting to be a mom can’t understand someone who did. Someone who grew up wanting the wife status more than the maternal one can’t understand. The relationships are more incedental than being a mother, which is usually the opposite for most people. Having children is incidental to being in a relationship. I didn’t have children to get, keep/fix a relationship or…

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I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly,.. again. I’ve been here before, only this time I know I’m not looking for my soulmate. I have learned that there are more things in life than being with my soulmate. I’m not sure exactly what that is right now, but I know that it’s not that. It’s confusing to not be looking for him or that anymore. It’s really weird and disorienting to be trying to…

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Seeking The Right Man

I need a husband. Point blank. Period. I am a natural born helpmeet and I need a husband to take care of who needs a wife to take care of. I need a husband I can inspire , who inspires me and can help me with all the real world stuff I don’t understand. I need a motivational husband who will encourage me when I’m on a roll and help me when he sees the opportunity to take the lead to make…

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I'm Ready to Love Again

I don’t know if it’s just my contrary nature or what, but now that I’m at a point in my life where I have never been more repulsed by the idea of relationships, sex or anything sun-shiney and ridiculously bright and happy.. something has made me realize it’s time to get back into dating. Perhaps it is the realization that the sparks inside of be actually been dying down. It hasn’t been the…

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I'm Trying

I’m trying is really all I can say on most days. I’m trying to keep my head above water. I’m trying to get back on my feet after seven years of a serious of unfortunate events and an equally bad serious of mental episodes that can only be called breakdowns. I’m trying to live through what could only be summed up by a medical professional as “perpetual state of mourning” that has been hanging over…

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A rant

(A rant showing how my brain runs through thoughts. I decided to gather one of the moments on paper and the typed it up) “I’m not the me I used to be” is something I’ve said a million times before but those times I wasn’t 43 years old with 7 years of having not had my children around me while I had a serious of nervous breakdowns. It’s something I said at least a thousand times since I started…

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I've pulled back from socializing because it's actually working

First, let me start off by saying that I’m the furthest thing from being suicidal. I want to get that out there because I’m aware that any time a Pisces starts an update on their life after a long pause or a serious of sucky events, people start to think it’s something it’s not. Plus, I don’t want any psychos using this as a chance to “CourtneyLove Me” (not funny but it gets my point across. I’m…

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Reasons I know I'm not interested in a romantic relationship right now.

Reasons I know I’m not interested in a romantic relationship right now.

I have absolutely no desire to compromise or negotiate. I don’t want to compromise about how fast we move, the direction it’s going or anything like that. I don’t want to have to make space for someone in my day or, even worse, make adjustments to my life to accommodate things I don’t want but had to negotiate about. I also don’t want to have to deal with the whole process of negotiating. It’s…

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You can't change things about people who don't want to change what you want to change about them

You can’t change things about people who don’t want to change what you want to change about them

I know this seems like common sense and something that shouldn’t need to be said but, you should not try to build a husband. No one should try to “build a spouse” or piece together a partner of any gender. If you don’t truly love the person you are dating for who they are, you shouldn’t think you will be able to change them to be how you will love them once you get married. Society has truly…

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The magic of a "No Throw-Away" policy.

Unsolicited retail advice.

A policy that all wearable/usable products must be sold, even if just for a nickel or, even, just a penny. This would cut down intensely on waste. As it is now, products that aren’t sold have only so long to be in retail shape. They only have so long after the season before they are marked down only to a certain point then they are thrown in the trash or in a lot of cases, they are destroyed in…

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