Auntytoes

as random as my name is, this is probably, certainly, mostly, what my blog will be about.

[auntytoes-blog]

Time to vent

I cannot take the negativity around me any longer. One cannot post one link on any social media without someone saying something negative. We are creating a dark world. Our children as young as 7 are negative, they hate school. Who hates school at 7? This is not acceptable. We are teaching our kids that it’s ok to take out our negativity on others, hence Bullies.

I pride myself on being the Positive one. Always sharing funny vids or pics. But there will always be one fly in my positive ointment, ruining my day. If you cannont say something nice, Don’t say anything at all. Why make the world a darker place.

Yes I know it is dark some days. But you know what, If everyone just started treating others as they would like to be treated, we’d be a peaceful society. But no, how could we let someone else have a little sunshine? Sometimes that little bit of sunshine for that one person you tried to influence with your stupid negativity, that was their only light for the day, the one thing that made them smile and think “well, maybe today will be better?” abd then BAM, you opened your big, negative, stupid mouth.

So, that’s all I have to say about that.

[they-hide-in-the-dark]

Hey, Do you have any stories or folklore about South Africa? Love your blog by the way

Wow, thank you for drawing my attention to my lack of African posts. I will be adding some South Africa posts shortly to fix that. I’m at your service 

[auntytoes-blog]

I’m loving your response...

[pettyrevenge]

This story dates from last June. I was headed to San Diego for a conference. The night before, I went out for some drinks with a coworker who would also be there. A few drinks turned into us pretty much closing down the bar. When I woke up at 6:30 later that morning, I actually felt great - I figured I must have drunk my way through the hangover! This was of course a very stupid thought, and as the morning dragged on through getting to the airport, getting through security, and waiting at the gate, my head decided I am an idiot and deserve to be punished. It was not wrong.

I made my way through the plane to my row, where I was to be seated in the window (a personal preference). As I approached my row, I saw a woman sitting in the middle seat, with her belongings on my seat. I politely said that it was my seat and waited for her to move them. She let out an overly-large sigh, then laboriously moved her things onto her lap. She then sat there. And sat. I asked her if she would mind letting me by, and she said the oddest thing:

“Go over me.”

Now at first, I assumed that this was my fault. I assumed that in my awful, terrible hangover, I had forgotten how people board cramped seats and that I was wrong for assuming she would and should get up to let me in. But then I remembered, I’m an idiot. So I assumed she had difficulty standing or whatever, and rather than embarrass her I did as she requested, I went over her.

Shortly before takeoff, she stood up and hollered at her husband, who was in the back of the plane with their two children:

“I don’t know why you couldn’t get us seats together! Honestly, this is absurd, why didn’t you?!”

Lady, I got an idea why.

I didn’t really care about her constantly reshuffling things or her armrest-hogging. It did bum me out when her daughter came up to our row with a cheese and cracker platter and asker her mom if she wanted some and the lady simply said “No.” Eventually, I was able to fall asleep.

For those who don’t drink, there is a phenomenon called the beer shits. After a night of heavy drinking, you will often have a large amount of gas (and other things which go along with it) the next day. About halfway through out flight, I felt this coming on, and I decided I had no choice but to go. I asked her if I could please get out. The gentleman in the aisle seat immediately got out, but she again said:

“Go over me.”

Now by this point, I was pretty irritable. I had an awful headache, my stomach was doing somersaults, and I was about to blow an O-ring, and this miserable bitch wanted me to go over her? On a moving plane? Fine, I would. I swung my right leg over her, then put my ass over her face, nearly touching. A slight tremble in the flight, and I released a full-on, seemingly never ending fart, a cloud of noxious gas which should have had me arrested for war crimes. I let the whole thing go. Afterwards, I turned, made full eye contact, and said “Sorry. Turbulence.” Everyone around me was fully and truly disgusted, and to them I am still so sorry, but I did what I did for the greater good.

When I got back from the bathroom, she got up to let me in.

[auntytoes-blog]

I had a good laugh with this one,

[fifteenhours-creepystories]

Creepypasta #736: Summer’s Smile

Length: Medium

–

Summer is the prettiest girl in my class. It’s her birthday soon. She’s going to be 10 years old so I wanted to make her a special present during play-time. Instead I got called to the headteacher’s office. I don’t like her - she’s big and scary - she spent the whole of play-time shouting at me and being mean, telling me to stop messing around in lessons and to act my age. I hate her.

I went straight back to class all miserable and headed straight for my table without looking anyone in the eye – I was so upset! Luckily there was one thing that cheered me up immediately – I saw Summer. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. I hate school but I’d come here every day just to see her smile.

At lunchtime I stepped outside I saw one of the boys in my class push Summer to the floor. He laughed in her face and she started crying. I felt angrier than I had ever felt in my life. A few minutes later I saw him going into the toilet… so I followed him in. I smashed his head against the sink and he fell to the ground. He tried to scream but I grabbed his throat and squeezed as hard as I could. Nobody does that to my beautiful Summer. Very soon he stopped struggling.

I went outside and found Summer, “I took care of that mean boy for you, he won’t be bothering you anymore”.

She smiled at me and said “Thank you Mr. Bainbridge… you’re the best teacher in the world”.

–

Credits to: SecularSamurai

[two-creepy-nerds]

Thank you for all the messages saying that you want me to continue phobia ward, I’m having some spouts of writers block but I will repost chapter 4 and work on chapter 5 NO ALTERNATE CHAPTERS FUCK CENSORSHIP

[auntytoes-blog]

@two-creepy-nerds that’s the spirit

[just-shower-thoughts]

Does Darth Vader ever pick his nose?

[auntytoes-blog]

How do you even come up with this stuff...?

[madamspeaker]

Maggie Smith and Leonardo DiCaprio on the BAFTA Kiss Cam

[auntytoes-blog]

I love Leo

[auntytoes-blog]

My Story

Hi All, I’ve just posted my 7th Chapter to my story “Why did we have to fall in love?” on Wattpad.  Hope you like it.  Thanks a bunch T.  

https://www.wattpad.com/story/62505450-why-did-we-have-to-fall-in-love-justwriteit

[fifteenhours-creepystories]

Creepypasta #717: The Other Side

Story length: Long

–

“Fuck that, man.” Sam said pushing the board away and standing from his seat.

“Nah, dude, you're not pussying out now. This thing cost me last week’s paycheck.”

Sam looked at the board for a couple of seconds.

“If I get possessed or some shit, that’s on you,” he finally said, returning to his seat at the table. “So, like, what do we do?”

Alex replied: “We just put a hand on the pointer-eye thing and ask it questions, then sometimes it answers, I guess.”

“That’s bullshit,” Sam scoffed,“one of us just moves it to freak the other one out.”

“Hey man, I promise not to move it if you do.”

“Alright, I guess,” Sam resigned.

Both stared at the eye, neither moving.

“Alright,” Alex finally said, “I’ll go first.” He placed his fingers lightly on the eye and looked at Sam. Sam took out a blunt and lighter from his pocket and lit it. Placing it in his mouth and puffing, he said “Fine. Let’s do it.”

Sam placed his fingers on the eye next to Alex’s.

“So what do we ask-” the movement of the eye cut Sam’s question short.

“I-S-A-N-Y-O-N,” Alex whispered under his breath.

“Fuckin’ hell!” Sam screamed, jumping in his seat.

“E-T-H-E-R-E,” Alex continued whispering. “Is anyone there?”

“I thought we ask it the questions!” Sam said, staring at Alex.

“Me too,” Alex said, his eyes not moving from the board.

“Well?” Sam said.

“Well, I mean, we are…” Alex shrugged at Sam. Looking back at the board, he slid the eye over to the red ‘yes’ in the corner.

“Holy shit,” Sam said as the eye moved over the letters:

’W-H-A-T-I-S-Y-O-U-R-N-A-M-E’

“Um,” Alex said, his voice shaking. ”A-L-E-X,” he began, moving the eye over each letter as he said them. He slid over to the ’&’symbol before starting again- ”S-A-M.”

The board stood totally still. Sam put out his blunt and Alex gripped the table, neither one taking an eye off the Ouija board.

Finally the eye began to move again.

“No, no, that’s- that isn’t-” Alex said.

”What the fuck, Alex!?” Sam said looking at Alex.

“What does- what’s that even mean?” Alex said, his voice cracking and shaking.

Finally the eye stopped moving after running over the letters:

”H-O-W-D-I-D-Y-O-U-D-I-E.”

–

Credits to: BeezHuts 

[auntytoes-blog]

This is an awesome twist on a classic

[auntytoes-blog]

[just-shower-thoughts]

High school reunions must have been way more interesting before Facebook existed.

[auntytoes-blog]

I bet it’s more interesting now, seeing how everyone photoshops each and every pic of themselves, when you meet them at the reunion you’re all like “Hey when did you get so fat, just last night you were skinny AF”

[alongfalltothetop-deactivated20]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[curiowitch]

[wickedkhaleesi-blog]

This is savage and genius

[nightmare-of-tim-burton-blog]

[horsesaround]

[auntytoes-blog]

Oh, how I crushed on this guy

[auntytoes-blog]

Thank You

Thank you to all my new followers.  I know it’s only 10 now, haha.  But I appreciate it.  I hope I can entertain you some more.

[auntytoes-blog]

@fifteenhours-creepystories

[auntytoes-blog]

Why did we have to fall in love?#JustWriteIt #LoveLetters - Chapter 1 (on Wattpad) http://w.tt/1TPULiZ Martin and Liza are in love. A love like no other. We follow their love story through the ages and face a few bumps in the road.