I read a lot of romance novels, and today the book I read featured a female protagonist who:
was not only over the age of 30, but over the age of 40, and by the second timeskip was over 50;
allowed herself to feel beautiful;
allowed herself to feel and pursue sexual gratification;
did not feel a need to have children (she had a niece and nephew she loved and was satisfied with that);
did not feel the urge to get married
It's important to note as well that this was a historical romance set in the 1810s-1820s, meaning that marriage and children are nearly required, and that she was much more heavily judged for her choices and behavior than she would have been if this were a contemporary romance.
She had been twice widowed, as well, which influences her feelings on marriage. Throughout the book she is addressed by her second husband's title. Toward the end, the male lead points out to her that he's rather over referring to her by that asshole's name, and she realizes she doesn't need to keep carrying it around with her, either. She also realizes that she's always had to bear the name of some man who has never cared about her -- her father, who arranged/forced both of her terrible marriages, as well as both her husbands -- and even if she doesn't want to marry, she is going to choose the name of the man who does care about her.
The male lead was also refreshing, a Swiss explorer rather than an English aristocrat (and I have nothing against English aristocrat romances, I read a lot of books about dukes, I have no shame, but again, refreshing), a total sweetheart, completely besotted with this woman despite (because of?) her plump figure and greying hair, and most uniquely, the younger party in this age-gap romance. He's totally entranced by the female lead when he meets her, readily agrees to bed her when she propositions him, and then pursues her when they encounter each other again after the first time skip. He also accepts that they will not be having children; like her, he has two nephews that he dotes on, and is satisfied with playing the cool uncle.
Also: both of the leads have dogs!!! Five stars!! But no, really, I gave it 5 stars on The StoryGraph and I cannot recommend it enough.
also this is probably only tangentially related to the last post but it drives me crazy on /r/romancebooks when someone is like YOU SHOULD READ THIS FANFIC IT TOTALLY FITS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
and like maybe it does tropes-wise, but I can't imagine reading a fanfic about a fandom I don't care about just to get the story I want? that seems weird. maybe I'm the weird one.
that said, by far the most recommended fanfic I see over there is from that one series I've never read and don't care about whose author should be fired into the sun, so maybe that's why I find this more annoying than perhaps I should
When joining a new fandom, do you go out of your way to do "required reading"? I.e. do you seek out the most popular and reputable fanfiction/headcanons by highly regarded users and incorporate it as your fanon?
I do that deliberately, as a must-have step
I do that passively (e.g. check it out only if others share it/I like it)
I don't do it because I am not really interested
I don't do it deliberately, out of principle
My fandom does not have fics/headcanons considered "required reading"
I adopt my friends' headcanons, but not popular users' headcanons
Other
Voting ended onDec 21, 2025
This is brought on by me seeing a pretty popular tweet where the OP lamented that they found a fic that does not follow the "accepted fanon" and contradicts another, seminal work of fanfiction by an esteemed fan author (but not the source material, from my understanding). Which both baffled and fascinated me.
When I get into something what I do is binge it, go find the subreddit, sort it by top all time, laugh at memes/cringe at bad takes, and then go back to doing my own thing.
I cannot imagine caring about "accepted fanon" this way. I have definitely read people's headcanons and gone "you know what, this makes sense," but that's basically about it. Some fandoms I am in have wildly popular ships and other things that are widely accepted as "the default" so to speak and I simply cannot and will not care about 90% of them.
I figure out what I like and then I seek out things other people made that are about the things I like, but I also wouldn't call that "required reading" because that would involve, again, caring what anyone thinks, and I don't.
I know I'm just overly invested in my boys but it is hilarious/irritating to me that rather than progress the stories of some of their existing love interests in Oops I Said Yes, Voltage would just rather ignore those guys and keep adding new ones
