crap my best friends’ siblings say starters
because you can never have enough of the siblings.
“I feel like I ate for twenty years.”
“I’m a woman. Woman needs purse.”
“Debate club is gonna be lit this year.”
“I know, you’re just like me. Embrace it. I’m a pretty awesome person.”
“On the count of three, everybody levitate.”
“Remember when I thought there was a dancing lobster in Grease?”
“There’s no way to run into the ocean looking sexy.”
“Let’s see how far out we can go until we die.”
“Let’s take the subway to Hawaii.”
“But it’s funnier to say drown-ded.”
“It’s time for Mondays to go away.”
“I’m gonna open a zoo but it’s just gonna be a bunch of geckos.”
“Sometimes I feel like my teeth are weird.”
“I may pee when Wonder Woman comes on.”
“I just farted and burped at the same time.”
“I don’t remember anybody’s name, you’re lucky I remember yours.”
“You’re the reason I drink my life away.”
“All this generation is is Cheetos and phones.”
“You don’t want that cake, someone touched it. It was Jimmy, the guy who touches all the cakes.”
“I’m sorry I’m not a ninja!”
“All my friends are blonde.”
“Peace, love, Jesus fish tambourine.”
“Too bad Mom threw it in the TRASH.”
“Wow, Adam Lambert, I hope nobody here has epilepsy.”
“I heard she doesn’t have enough money to go to school so she works for Santa.”
“If a boy likes you, he should tell you, not go around saying he likes you to all of his friends.”
“Ariana Grande reminds me of a cat.”
“Learn?! Learn what? I’m eleven!”
“The worst part about getting candy is finishing it.”
“I’m so full I feel like crying.”
“Whenever I think of Kelly Clarkson, I think of that album cover of her, like, caressing her foot or something?”
“I hope I booty-bump you into a knife.”
“Freaking flying mayonnaise cows.”
“Do little boys, like, swordfight with their P?”
“I got his number, so we’re getting married.”
“I really want eight legs and a child.”
“So you’re gonna kidnap a child and beat it with eight severed legs?”
“My flesh is like a pineapple.”
“If you have any butt sweat, don’t sit there.”
“Great, now I feel salad.”
“Genocide is bad, but I guess homicide is okay.”
“Oh my god, how can you not like Mickey Mouse?? Are you a communist?”
“You only live one time. You know, like they say, YOLOT.”
“Don’t stand around on your phone or else I’m gonna get pissed and fart on you.”
“I’m the chief hockenduke reincarnate.”
“If we’re running, don’t point me in the direction you’re going. I will follow you and it will make me 1.1 miles away from home.”
“Yes I did, stop crying.”
“Put the cereal in the dishwasher.”
“This pie is on the fleek.”
“Last night, I declared myself the king of forever.”
“Their buttholes are fantastic.”
“I hate when people eat their scabs. They need to go to scabhab.”
“Listen to my words: no.”
“Not sure what this is. Could be meat, could be insect. Meatsect.”
“Not all men smell bad, have bad fashion sense, and sweat too much. Just the straight ones.”
“Put your hands on my jeans with your teenage hands.”
blakekathryn
2087
annaxmalina
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
