Right, if you consider yourself rad fem or gender critical I'm asking you to be open minded for the next few minutes and really try think about what I'm saying here.
I think that you think you are right, but nobody is immune to propaganda. Not me and not you. We are, all of us, being taught everyday to forgo our humanity in favour of upholding systems of oppression that hurt everybody. Systems of oppression that have had centuries to sophisticate their methods, the sneaky trap is letting you believe you are somehow too clever to ever buy the cruelty they are selling you.
I apologised sincerely to my best friend this year for a conversation we had in a car a year ago and I want to tell you about it because I think you could learn something from it.
We were talking about rape culture and I was going off about how women suffer under patriarchy. He mentioned that he has been sexually assaulted before as a man and it was by a woman. And do you know what I did? Probably what you if you are a rad fem would have done, I scolded him for trying to make a discussion about the suffering of women about him.
I turned to my best friend, a man I love, and fucking dismissed him out of hand when he was talking about something traumatic that happened to him. I put my anger at a system that hurts everybody above having a shred of humanity for the person sat next to me.
He graciously accepted my apology and said he understood why I had reacted that way. But we also talked about how his social media algorithms are constantly trying to shove him into alt right echo chambers and how careful he has to be because it can happen so fast that his feed starts to change.
And that is also what happens to EVERYONE. It is happening to you. Algorithmic radicalisation is a known phenomenon. Do you know who actually benefits from you hating any group of people for something about themselves they cannot change? The structures of oppression that you want to dismantle.
I mean this kindly because I understand how you might have wound up here and that it's hard to try and consider that you might be wrong, but you are being manipulated. Misandry leads to transphobia leads to racism leads to misogynoir. To you it might sound ridiculous, but I promise you that the minute you start losing humanity for the people you share the planet with, every structure of oppression that you are against will sink it's claws right into you. There is a reason that Joanne Rowling now attacks cis black women, she fell into the trap that you are going to fall into if you don't start trying to change.
Rad fem ideology is one of the funnels into the alt right. Neither me nor you wants you in two years time to have lost your humanity and be parroting talking points that you right now would find abhorrent because you get trapped in an echo chamber.
And yes, people are going to be mean to you over this even if you try to unlearn it because you're going to make mistakes. Your job is to recognise that you have caused hurt and you cannot expect everybody to just forgive that. Your job is to recognise you are not safe for some people and that is not going to change overnight.
The patriarchy thrives when you start cutting off your humanity to the people around you, do not let it win. It thrives when you start practicing gender essentialism, the same concept that the patriarchy runs on.
If none of this is sounding worrying to you as a rad fem then I as a stranger on the internet am not going to change your mind, so you are fully not welcome on my blog until you can start learning to change.
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