Glory, glory, hallelujah

Very much a man, still confused on faith but leaning vaguely Protestant Christian. Over 21.

[dandelionsresilience]

whether the internet becomes an intolerable surveillance state, ubiquitous subscription model, or unusably ad- or AI-ridden shithole, I think we need to remember

how to do things offline

either on your personal hard drive (just because it’s an app doesn’t mean the information is stored in your device) or on paper. I’m not saying the collapse of the internet is imminent, and I’m not suggesting we do everything completely without technology, or even stop using it until we have to. (to be clear, I also don’t think the internet will just blink out of existence, suddenly stop being a thing at all; rather I think it might continue to lose its usefulness to the point where it’s impossible to get anything done. anyway) but some people may have forgotten how we got by before the internet (I almost have!), and the younger generation might not have experienced it at all.

I figure most people probably use the internet mainly for communication with friends and family, entertainment and creation (eg. writing), and looking up how to do things, so here’s how to do those things offline:

First and most importantly, download everything important to you onto at least one hard drive and at least one flashdrive! files can get corrupted and hardware can get damaged or lost, but as long as you keep backup copies, you have much-closer-to-guaranteed access versus hoping a business doesn’t decide to paywall, purge, or otherwise revoke your access. I would recommend getting irreplaceable photos printed as well

download and/or print/write down:

anything important to you - photos/videos, journals, certificates, college transcripts

contact info - phone numbers and/or addresses of friends/family (know how to contact them if you can’t use your favourite messaging app), doctors (open hours would be good too), veterinarians if you have pets, and work

how-to’s - recipes (one, two), emergency preparedness (what do I do if… eg. I smell gas)

other things you might google: cleaning chemicals to NOT mix, what laundry tag symbols mean, people food dogs and cats can and can’t eat, plant toxicity to pets

and know offline ways to find things out - local radio station, newspaper, a nearby highway rest area might have a region map, public libraries usually have a bunch of resources

also, those of you who get periods should strongly consider not using period tracking apps! here’s how to track your period manually

free printable period tracker templates (no printer? public libraries usually charge a few cents per page, or you can recreate it by hand)

moving on to entertainment, you can still get most media for free! it’s completely legal to download your favourite movies to your own personal hard drive, you just can’t sell or distribute copies (not legal advice)

movies: wcostream.tv (right click the player) - the url changes every once in a while but usually redirects; I recently noticed that it’s hiding a lot of movies behind “premium,” so it may or may not work anymore | download youtube videos

music: how to get music without streaming it | legal free downloads

games: steamunlocked.net - doesn’t have every game and can be slow to update, but very reliable

books: free online libraries | legal free downloads

otherwise passing time:

active outdoor games

for road trips (social verbal games)

for when power’s out

for sheltering in place (not all offline, but good ideas)

board games (often found at thrift stores)

ad-free customisable games collection (mobile)

read, write, draw, or whatever your craft is, sing, dance, clean, reorganise, take a bath

go outside - excuses include napping (if safe), eating, reading, finding cool plants/animals/rocks, playing with the dog

places to go include:

zoos and museums can be surprisingly cheap

parks and nature preserves

library, mall, or game shop

and a few miscellaneous things for good measure:

time budgeting | household management

how to use a planner | I’ve had success with visually blocked-out schedules like these

please add on if you have any other offline alternatives to common uses of the internet!

[dandelionsresilience]

More Stuff

Remember that links won't work without the internet, so also write down anything you find useful in this post! You have to download stuff ahead of time while you can still access the internet

keep physical user manuals for things like car, tv, appliances

how to prepare for computer work offline (may need to use reader mode to bypass a popup)

check interactions with any medications you're taking

how to search a library (databases are often accessible via library computers so might still be a thing without internet; also some info on manually searching the actual stacks) (backup rb)

make note of your local/state/federal laws regarding tenants’ rights & housing resources, workers’ rights, gun laws, abortion laws (though this is changing frequently)

How to Download Videos

URL downloaders for specific sites & in general

4k Video Downloader Plus, VLC Media Player, Freemake, YouTube-to-mp4

screencap with OBS (may only work on firefox and may violate ToS) or xbox game bar on windows (win+g)

especially download meme songs that you probably won’t find on a CD (example) with https://ytmp3.nexus/

Print photos with VistaPrint, WalMart, or CVS

Old Farmer's Almanac

Household chores list

Simple household repairs

Loads of old recipes (backup rb)

how to wean yourself off the internet

how to spend time with family

how to get involved with your community

ways to spend more time outside (set a goal/reason to be outside)

how to get outside more in different seasons

how to build nature into your lifestyle

how to start a self care habit | how to make a self care checklist

self care assessment | axes of self care | reparenting resources

[riflebrass]

Apparently one of my preferred gas stations has switched over to E15. Allegedly it will be fine in my car but I'd rather not.

[you-stand-corrected]

Always consult your owner's manual, if you have one. E-15 is actually not fine in the vast majority of even new(er) cars.

Certainly wasn't in mine. ;A;

[riflebrass]

I'm just glad I caught it early. I was 3 gallons in when I noticed the warning labels on the pump saying that E15 is only meant for certain cars. It shouldn't be too bad getting to another station with some E10 to fill my tank the rest of the way.

[salt-pan-blues]

I've noticed up here in the mountains they switched a few to it to cut fuel prices. Hasn't worked bad for my Taurus, but I have noticed some problems with it's previous lack of maintenance before I had it getting worse, though not drastically. Thankfully the cheapest in town is E10 only.

[lake-erie]

why you hatin on the red hot chili peppers, man?

although i don’t agree with your taste in music, i have to respect your ability to type out this message while longboarding across campus

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[sapphire-wine]

[furrypost-generator]

[furrypost-generator]

bitches be sucking farts there

[ravingsockmonkey]

Found the source of the infographic that explains how the results were obtained!

[alexseanchai]

there’s sixteen Colorado counties that their most searched was “wolf furry”, plus thirty-odd counties (not counting either Arapahoe or any of the ones marked here as “Insufficient Data”) which may well have had plenty of searches for “wolf furry”, just fewer than for whatever they’re labeled here

and “skunk furry” searches in Arapahoe County outnumbered “wolf furry” searches in the entire state of Colorado

something tells me Skunks Georg

[headbenzhawk]

we did it, we created furry gerrymandering

[irishironclad]

For anyone curious since that one post is making the rounds. Roko’s Basilisk is the idea that if you’re not actively developing robotics and AI technology a evil robot snake god will fucking Get You

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Correction: Roko’s Basilisk is the idea that if you’re not actively developing robotics and AI technology, a evil robot snake god will fucking Get You a Sims character that thinks it's you.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[writing-prompt-s]

A Genie offers you one wish, and you modestly wish to have a very productive 2017. The genie misunderstands, and for the rest of your life, every 20:17 you become impossibly productive for just 60 seconds.

[flavoracle]

“Well, it was a nice day.” You kiss your sweetheart gently on the forehead and sigh as the last remaining seconds of 20:16 tick away. “See you at 8:18,” you say. 

Then it happens. Every ounce of fatigue or hunger leaves your body. The face of your beloved is perfectly still, their expression exactly the same. The ticking of the clock on the wall has stopped. Once again, it’s 20:17. 

You stretch your arms and walk to the table with the homework for the three doctorates you’re working on. The work is mentally stimulating and enjoyable, but it’s finished far too quickly. You check your pocket watch and see that not even one hundredth of a second has passed. 

You knew it was too soon to be able to see any movement on the watch, but you can never quite help yourself from looking early on every 20:17. Time to move on. 

You clean your home, do your budget, then go outside and fix a noise that your car was making earlier that afternoon. (Oh how you already miss afternoons.) Then you go back inside, boot up your computer (which magically speeds up to keep pace with you as long as you’re in contact with it) and check for any new orders. 

You’ve set up a website for the small business you started called “Magic Elf Services.” People in your area can pay a modest fee on your site to have different tasks and odd jobs done by “The Magic Elf” at 8:17pm every day. It was a little slow to get started, but word has spread and these days you have a steady stream of clients. 

The money that comes in from the business is nice, but you’re mostly grateful that it gives you a clear list of things to do. You print off your updated list of clients, step outside, and start making your way through the neighborhood with your to-do list. 

There’s the apartments down your street where several neighbors have hired you to tidy up, do the dishes, and mop the floors. You do the windows too, just to see if they notice. There’s the large house across town that paid the “Magic Elf” to clean out the gutters. After the first dozen jobs are done, you manage to stop looking at your pocket watch. 

As near as you’ve been able to determine in the past, 20:17 seems to last for approximately one normal year. But it’s not exact. For one thing, it’s hard to keep track of “time” when everything but you has crawled to an almost total standstill. For another thing, time seems to move differently depending on how “productive” your behavior is. One time you tried to spend all of 20:17 sitting at home in your pajamas, but that was getting you nowhere, so you eventually gave up and got busy. (Though you defiantly stayed in your pajamas the whole time.) 

During 20:17 your body doesn’t get tired, hungry, sick, or injured. You’re essentially tireless and immortal for the duration of the “minute.” So sleeping or eating away your boredom has never really worked for you. 

One of the houses on your list forgot to follow the instructions and leave a key for you to get in. At first you figure you’ll just send them an email telling them to pay more attention and that you’ll do the job tomorrow. Then you decide to go home, get your locksmith tools, and come back. 

After finishing up all the jobs on your list, you go into several other homes and small businesses in the area, performing tasks you hope they’ll find helpful, and leaving a hand-painted business card at each one. (The business cards don’t contain your real name just in case somebody thinks “The Magic Elf” should be subject to breaking and entering laws.) 

Speaking of laws, you head down to the local police station to pick up your case file. You’ve been in contact with a detective who’s been investigating corruption within their department, and your ability to investigate unseen and get in almost anywhere between the ticks of the clock has proven invaluable. You see that they’ve also added five missing person cases to your file this evening, which certainly raises your interest in the job. 

You make your way through town gathering evidence, and start making your way to the outskirts of town. Since you happen to be out that way (and you’ve already solved three of the five missing person cases) you decide to swing by the stone castle you’re building and do some more work there. 

The castle walls stand about 20 feet right now, but you know they’ll be much higher when you’re done. You’re far from any roads and pretty safely tucked away, so for now it’s your little secret. You’ve been excavating and moving all the rock yourself, which has been much easier than you first expected since your body doesn’t get tired or sore. You’ve also got a nice system of tunnels going underneath the castle, and you dig and build more of that network for a while. 

All that time spent underground has left you feeling rather lonely, so you walk back home to see the face of your sweetheart. Their facial expression has moved ever so slightly since you last saw them, which is a comfort to you. Looking at them gets your imagination going and makes you dream up a story you’d like to tell, so you sit on your couch, plug in your laptop, and write a book. 

After you finish editing the last chapter for the third time, you finally allow yourself to look at your pocket watch again. Three seconds have officially passed so far. 

It’s gonna be a long 20:17. 

[peachfromcmbyn]

Smiles serenely.

[kronkk]

I can’t believe Hunter Biden and I have beef with the same dude

[homeiswhere-thephobicis]

stannning hunter biden to own a disgraced tumblr funnyman

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[salt-pan-blues]

Finally got a new job, quite optimistic and I'll be earning quite well. God willing it'll get me well on my way to land ownership.

[sunburnt-brian]

[closet-keys]

as a teen, i was constantly harassed by adults enforcing ''dress codes'' on me. I very much experienced this as sexual harassment. I think this is one of many cases where people would more easily understand this as sexual harassment if I described it as if it happened to an adult.

imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.

this was my experience at school. replace supervisor with "teacher" and boss with "principal." this was sexual harassment. fuck dress codes.

[heylittletomboy]

They Hacked Women

[brightereyes]

[bwooomscratches]

[bluejaymarin]

btw it's not normal for this many people to want to fuck animals and kids and eat shit and piss. kinks have always been around but like, it is a bad thing that antisocial paraphilias are more prevalent and it's pretty obviously because of the internet.

[beetlewoman]

[loumandliker]

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

[loumandliker]

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

[caltracat]

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[kholran]

It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

[beggars-opera]

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!

[beggars-opera]