academia ; books

environmental researcher, aesthetically pushing away procastination

[soul-from-another-era]

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[study-bloom]

quiet mornings have my heart 📖🤍

[smalleffortsrepeated]

29.06.24 || watching ghibli movies

Oh how lucky I am to live near flower fields. Sometimes I look at them and I wonder why life can't just feel like that all the time. These days I fight hard to protect my peace, but it comes at the cost of losing friends.

To do today

134 BGB ff

Pfändungspfandrecht

Mock Exam 2

Schemes/ Definitions

Have a good one!

AJ

[alwaysbeenjessica]

making some real progress on the thesis this cloudy morning☁️

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[luthiest]

230608

life update: i have a pixie cut, my attendance lately has been atrocious, i saw a post about autistic burnout that made me reconsider my behavioral patterns and i am now looking into getting an asd assessment, i delivered a fatal blow to my scroll and had to start over, the 5 lbs of antique glass beads i ordered on ebay arrived, im working at a vintage clothing store part time, we finally found the class rubber mallet that went missing weeks ago and it was shoved in a cardboard box underneath the break table, my team won pub trivia for the 2nd week in a row, i watched top gun maverick and i can now confidently say i understand why there were murmurings about miles teller amongst bl enthusiasts, i finished my sazabi gunpla, andddddddd……. i’ve decided on fujita from dorohedoro for my next anime convention cosplay? i think that’s about it.

edit: also i got new double conch piercings. they’re cute i promise. believe me. over ear headphones only for the next year ish.

🎧 : like a raspberry - 宇宙ネコ子

[austenedinbooks]

Finished reading.

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[mangotalkies]

myths, magical realism, and leftover chocolate

[mangotalkies]

fantasy and dystopian fiction has been an evergreen, most-read genre of mine for as long as i can remember. i used to beg my school librarian to get certain books for the library (for me), and she often agreed because not many kids my age made such demands, and i think she liked me. there was a corner spot in the last aisle of the library with a window overlooking the outdoor play area. it was a makeshift open auditorium sometimes. i would lean against the window frame and read. i'd occasionally look outside and assign random kids i saw to the characters i was reading, and imagine the book's events taking place in the auditorium, like a theatre.

much later, i read rebecca makkai's 'the borrower'. lucy, the protagonist, is a librarian who lives in an apartment attached to a little theatre, such that her tiny window faces the stage and she can watch plays from her bed. it was such a fascinating yet, familiar concept.

as an extremely introverted kid, i was so drawn to those bookshelves labelled 'fantasy & fiction'; the room's quiet, murmuring air; my sea-green coloured library card; the hung-up portraits of authors; and the librarian. the library itself was my wonderland and these were props that affirmed it’s existence. i was also really attached to the art room, but that's a topic for another day. when i look back at those moments, it feels unreal that i could escape into the nook of that library amidst the confusing and unpleasant chaos of growing up. i could crawl inside my head with a book and be as imaginative as i wanted, full of fanciful and larger-than-life ideas, and no one could disturb my high. it brought me so much delight that even if many others read the same book i was reading, no one could imagine it the way i did.

when i read matt haig's 'the midnight library' years later, it was the librarian-protagonist dynamic that gave me a pause. it felt so real and relatable to my own life. while i didn't enjoy the book much, it remains special because of a school librarian appearing on the threshold between life and death, and encouraging the pursuit of reading books to live different lives, even if it's momentary.

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[mangotalkies]

28.05: planning a three month long break; using a mug that's been lying on my shelf unused since forever; making some progress on my reading; creating my portfolio

i have about three months before my masters begins, and i want to use it extensively to learn subjects that i don't get to study academically or professionally. i'm also planning to learn sanskrit. i don't have a lot of confidence for it, but i'm gonna try anyway.

self study requires so much discipline. being a designer, my graduation in the design field didn't require me to "study" as much. in fact, i've not had a written exam in like 6 years. i did have a lot of presentations, case studies and juries though, which seems worse to me. but i think that's a classic case of the grass being greener on the other side.

my neurodivergent brain created a massive list of hobbies to pursue, subjects to learn and books to read. i'm really excited for the next three months though, it's all about how i plan and prioritise the things i want to do. (i won't, it's gonna be a chaotic hot mess but let's humour my enthusiasm).