poetwritergirl

toxic emotions

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Study Abroad: 3 Months. 3 Countries.

Hey loves! I decided to start a travel page!🎉

Since I am traveling more, I decided to share my trips with you all. On the “Black and Abroad” page at the very bottom you will find photos from my 2016 Study Abroad in Ghana. Ghana was my very first time traveling outside of the country on my own. I was able to travel within Ghana and saw the different cultures and aesthetics in each city. Though this trip was only 6 weeks, I experienced a lot, seen a lot, and did a lot.  As people say, first impressions matter, Ghana is the reason I would go through the Travel anxiety all again. Ghana has some wonderful people especially the children of Cape Coast. Stay tuned for a blog about my first time traveling abroad and the travel anxiety that can come with it. 

I am traveling to 3 Countries within a 3 month timeframe.

As a college student, I can honestly say study abroad has changed my life. It’s one thing to dream of being abroad and wonder what it is like, and it's another to have actually been. Even as a Black woman being out of this country impacted my perspective on many social issues. Though this is only my perspective and experience being abroad, it is does not mean others have not had different experiences. Mine is only my account of my experience thus far. 

This semester, I will be traveling with SIT IHP: New African Diasporas program. The beauty of this program is not only the focus of one area of interest(s), but the ability to examine it in multiple settings. This specific program allows me to go to Senegal, Italy, and France. Senegal is the main site for this trip and Italy and France are like the supporting sites. The subjects of this program are the Senegalese Murid brotherhood, so I will be in close contact with Senegalese Murids in each location. The way I decided this program was based on 5 things. Though I did not focuses on some of these things when I was research my program, I wish I had. So these are the 5 things I believe everyone should pay attention to when deciding to go abroad.

Cost of the Program. Though I am on scholarships and grants at my college and that travels, it's also some fees that are expected to be paid out of pocket. I did not pay attention to this in the application process. For example, at my institution, students must pay a $350 fee for any non-approved Study Abroad programs. Beings though this program is new, I am the first student at my college to participate, therefore, I had to pay $350. Also, I did not know that I was expected to pay the $2500 deposit fee. This fee was due before I was awarded my grants from my college. Please make sure you know what everything cost before you start the application process because once you are admitted programs expect their money quick. Knowing costs beforehand also allows you to look for scholarships or grants. 

Research, Research, RESEARCH... The country(s). Because I am going to 3 new countries, my main concern is respecting the pre-existing culture and traditions. I am specifically concerned about the way I dress, tattoos, and piercings. In the US, we are free to dress as we please as well as express ourselves through our fashion. Other countries are not as privileged. For example, women in Touba, Senegal cannot wear clothes that reveal parts of their body. They are expected to cover up all the time. Yes, in 97 degree weather, these women are fully clothed. If you are not one that does well with being conservative, it's better to know beforehand. In addition, to doing research of the program, you must SOUL SEARCH. "

Ask yourself what you want out of the program, so you know what to look for. - Briona K.'19 

Soul Searching is finding a program that matches or mirrors your passions and/or interest. The one thing you will regret is going on a program and being forced to study something you are not interested in. On the SIT website, there is a tab under programs where you can select a critical global issue you are interested in. SIT has 6 different areas of interest. The beauty of this is some of these programs visit more than one country. The programs also are globally, so it's not only based in Africa or Europe, but there are programs in Latin America, Asia, etc. 

Being comfortable is static; Being uncomfortable is growth. n other words, do not choose a program because it is the same as the US or you will have the same privileges. Choose a program that pushes you out of your comfort-zone. Don't get me wrong.. yes a choose that is comfortable, but do not let a programs inability to have internet access, wash-machines and dryers, hotel-stays keep you from experiencing a new culture. As new travelers, you must understand that the US spoils us, and you will not realize your privileges, no matter race, until you are living somewhere else, and they aren't there. For example, my first time in Ghana, I did not realize how important Walmart and the grocery store was. I spent 3 hours with my host-sister in the Market looking for different ingredients for one meal. When I say market, do not think a building with air, lights, or registers, but think about an outside Flea market, crowded on a hot summer's day, and you have to walk up hills and down hills looking for some fish, okra, peanut oil, etc. 

Talk to former Study Abroad students. When I was looking at my current program, I was constantly trying to find students that went on the past trip. It is important to talk to previous students because they can answer questions that the website was not able to answer. Also they can tell you their experience with the program and what to expect. Though I was unable to come in contact with any, I still contacted some of my friends that went abroad. Sometimes you just need help with understanding what studying abroad entails or what it's like to be abroad for months or some types you just need help with packing. (P.S. stay tuned for a post on how to pack for Studying Abroad.)

If you are a college student and have always wanted to travel, Studying abroad is the best option. Though you take courses abroad, let me be honest, the courses are not nearly as hard or difficult as the one's at my host institution. Study Abroad courses usually are heavy on research and learning a language, which is fun. I have found it hard to learn languages in the US in a class because I only am surrounded by those kinds of speakers for an hour a day, however, some study abroad programs have homestays as an option. So this semester, I will be living with senegalese families with the hopes that I can learn Wolof, which is the dominant language in Senegal, along with French. 

Studying abroad has many advantages, but you have to be willing to immerse yourself and be open to the experience. If you are going to complain about missing home, STAY YO ASS AT HOME! Honestly, it's nothing more irritating than traveling with someone who misses their American Privilege. When you study abroad, remember that you are their temporarily. So your poor service, the heat or cold, any other complaints are not permanent. You will go back home and experience all the privileges you once had. But think about the people that actually live there that experience poor outages, no guaranteed hot water. Until you go abroad, it is impossible to appreciate the things you have in the US. No this is not saying the US is perfect to everyone or that we should be content with racism, sexism, and all the other inequalities that exist, but we must understand that some people have it worse. 

The one thing I truly took away from Ghana was the pure joy of the people and children. It was like they were the real carefree black and brown boys and girls. In the US, technology drives our fun; It has also gotten in the way with in-person interactions and face-to-face conversations. In Ghana, it wasn't big on technology. Children were creating games from dancing or chasing the animals. Not to paint this picture of a harmonious place..but Ghana was really serene and loving in the culture and people. 

Study Abroad is the greatest way to learn. Learning does not stop in the classroom, but it is a never-ending thing. Three things I realized while I was gone was:

Coming Back was not the same as never leaving.

It was always a new way of seeing things. 

It was when I was out of control that I truly found and understood myself. 

Studying abroad ultimately comes down to your desire to go. Once you decide to go, finding a program, the funds, etc. always seem to follow suit. But as a friend of mine told me

Sacrifice creates opportunity. - @ScoFlair

Meaning things will not just fall into your lap, you have to do the work. Sacrificing going out, shopping etc. to save money or work on that grant application makes a difference. The more sacrifices you make the more opportunities you will come across. Studying abroad is a time to reinvent yourself from your consciousness to what you appreciate and value. 

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Day 2: Enough was enough.

It started with a protest at my PWI. 

Sometimes you need that tipping point to put you on the path to your purpose. We all have had that moment in time or experienced that “enough is enough” moment. For me, I’ve experienced that millions of time, but for some odd reason this time, place, incident, racial and political climate was the final push. I know longer wanted to speak up and out to people that only looked like. I know longer wanted to restrict myself for the comfortability of the already undeserving privileged white population. I know longer wanted to sit back. I no longer wanted to be a part of the movements but a creator in the movement.

I wanted to contribute, and I was determined to. 

It was like this fire lit under my ass and could not be extinguished. And I never wanted it to go out. I wanted that burning sensation to continue. If you are a natural creator, in the beginning process, you will convince yourself that your talents are only an expression. They are only an outlet for your emotions. They are only meant for your eyes and ears, when in fact, they are meant for a greater audience. Creators are workers for society. Our jobs are to inspire, educate, and provoke emotions/feelings. I started sharing my work, when I finally spoke out at that protest. When I finally decided my experience was meant to be heard. I had something to say, and you might not like it, but you will listen. You know the saying, "everything happens for a reason?" I believe everything that has happened to me was meant to help someone else. However, If I do not share those experiences, then I cannot help anyone. 

I struggled with starting and writing, fearlessly, because everyone told me, "Well, you need to be mindful of jobs," "People are watching you," etc. However, I never felt a 9-5 job was my career goal nor working to make another white supremacist rich. I also am glad to know people are watching, and I have their attention, because this blog is not censored in language or content. I strongly believe that I am meant to write and not like a journalist but as an author and poet. I have to speak on the racial injustices and the current political climate. I must speak on my experience as a Black woman in this country. I have to share my personal accounts. 

Historically, the Black woman's narrative has constantly been erased from media, scholarly conversations, etc. My narrative will not be erased or overlooked. My experience will be accounted for, because we are the pillars. Black women carry this country on our barebacks just so that this country can kick us down...Not anymore! It's time we get the respect we are entitled to. It's time that we are valued just as the next white man. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Until society can accept my narrative and acknowledge that my experience is real and the things that happen in this country to my people are wrong, I will not stop blogging. I will not stop sharing the truth no matter who it offends or makes uncomfortable. I've been uncomfortable in majority white spaces, and I still survived it. So a sprinkle of pro-black writings and talks will not kill or harm anyone. 

I blog because I see it as my civic duty. I blog to help the next person whether they are black, brown, yellow, or white. 

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Day 1: ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF

Hey! I'm Jade Juana, the woman behind Fearless Mentality.

Yes, I am a college student. Yes, I am a preacher's kid. Yes, I am in my early 20s. Yes, my real name is Jade Juana.

My middle name is Juana like "Juwanna Man."  Growing up, I literally hated my middle name. Everyone always made jokes or teased me about it to the point where I started saying I didn't have a middle name. It wasn't until my freshman year of college, when I looked up the meaning of my middle name that I fell in love with my name. The name Juana is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew and Spanish, the meaning of the name Juana is: Gift from God.  I literally was mind-boggled. Thus, I began to own Jade Juana. 

Now, that we have that basic stuff out of the way, let's get into who Jade Juana really is.

I am a believer, unashamed. I am pro-black, unapologetically. I am a thinker, an overthinker and over analytical to be exact. I am a writer and a poet. I am a walking testimony that has been sealed in a bottle for 19 plus years until now. 

Majority of my life, I have been a living sponge. Absorbing everything life gave me and some. I always was a listener and observant person. Paying attention is one thing I mastered growing up. I had this thing about analyzing body language and people's tendency. I guess the verbal language wasn't enough for me. My family sometimes saw me as closed off or "on-the-go" and outsiders that just meet me will think the same. The honest truth is to know Jade Juana is to "peel back layers of an onion"(my love tells me this all the time.)

But now, it's different. This blog is my open diary to the world. One peel at a time. Not too fast and not too slow, you get to know me as I get to know myself.

I began this blog to share my perspective. Beings though, I am a black woman that believes in God and is an Africana studies major, my perspective is not the same as others, nor are any of my opinions predicatable. For instance, Yes, i am a believer in God, but I also support the rights of the LGBT community. One day, I'll blog about that to allow you to understand the reasons why. I also have a lot of opinions that many would disagree with.

That is the beauty of this blog. I can share my opinion because we all are entitled to one.

I created it for that very reason. Everyday we experience some type of fear whether it's saying the way we feel or speaking up for someone. Sometimes we fear owning our identity, so we sugar coat it with other things. For instance, I used to say I am an Africana Studies major, and when I receive cricket responses, I would add "on a pre-law track." Now, i own my major, unapologetically. 

Fearless Mentality is being yourself unpologicetically and by any means necessary.

[whisperinglillies]

Write on my soul With your ink heart And, together, Let us create A lifetime Of the most Beautiful poetry. -Rupali Jeganathan

-// Ink heart • @whisperinglillies

Follow me on WordPress at https://literatureismyporn.wordpress.com.

(via whisperinglillies)

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Lets Talk #2: Who's invited to the Cookout?

If you are on social media, specifically Twitter, you would know the saying, "You're invited to the cookout." This saying is an open invitation to someone outside the black/brown race to join us in our cookout experience. The cookout has been a tradition in the black community since Jesus Christ(Okay, maybe not then, but you get the idea.)

The cookout is a non-holiday gathering. You know how black cookouts are: showing up at 12pm, but not eating until 3pm, Uncle Pookie on the grill with his sandals, Auntie playing Luther Vandross talking about her glory days, the OGs of the family drunk playing spades, flag football/basketball for the guys, the ladies talking about hair or their children. (If you do not know any of these references, you must not belong at the cookout, or haven't been invited.)The cookout is the ultimate carefree Black experience. The cookout is the safe haven for the black community. The one place where we are free to exist in all of our blackness around our family and friends. 

"The Cookout" is a black-owned space of joy, love, peace, and whatever drama we choose. 

I saw three tweets a few days ago: one, inviting a white girl and guy to the cookout for hitting a racist; two, Abraham Lincoln taking a knee with various black figures; and three, Eminem's rap cypher from the Hip-Hop Awards. I also saw tweets inviting Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys general manager, for taking a knee during the anthem. I saw a tweet uninviting P!NK to the cookout for having hope in Trump. I saw tweet inviting a white girl wearing a "Immigrants make America great" shirt to the cookout.

Let me say this as simple as possible, NONE OF THEM ARE INVITED TO THE COOKOUT. A shirt, taking a knee, a rap, a "woke" tweet, hitting a racist, BREATHING does not get you an invite to our stress-free, racial-free gathering.

Let's be clear, white people should not be given a free invitation into our experience as if they earned. They already feel entitled enough because they are white. Are we ever given free invitation into their gala's? or their family dinners? Are we treated as family when we are around them? Are we comfortable in their white spaces?

The cookout is a time where we can be comfortable around our own kind without having to look the part or fall into respectability politics.

What Twitter has done is open up a sacred Black space to outsiders who are not appreciative of the space. I say sacred because at our cookouts we are most vulnerable. We exist and live freely. And whenever we do so and white gets in the mix, disaster comes or violence. Simple acts of morality is nothing spectacular. All it shows is that you are human. Lets start with the first video I linked about the girl and guy hitting a racist. Though I condone the actions of a white person attacking a racist, it still does not mean they can identify with the black struggle in anyway. They did a great thing that many black people wish we had the privilege to do with out repercussions. However, its not enough for me to open my cookout to them.

Okay now lets get into this image below:

Do you notice anyone thats out of place in this image? Of course you do! Why the hell is Abraham Lincoln in this image, as if he ended slavery and racism? Lets be clear, the Emancipation Proclamation did not end slavery, it was an executive order freeing slaves. This image is a visual of "You're invited to the cookout." I THINK THE F*CK NOT! 

Twitter has created a "woke" space for anyone to be "deep" and ignorant. And if you believe support this image, you are one of those people. Let me give you a few facts about Lincoln. 1. He owned slaves; two, he did not believe blacks and whites should share the same rights; three, the Emancipation Proclamation did not free all slaves. So, if you say  "Lincoln can come to the cookout," I will respond, "I THINK THE F*CK NOT!" Lincoln is no different than many white politicians. He didn't do anything worth opening our black spaces to him. 

Lastly, Does Eminem get an invite to the cookout?

I love Eminem. I think he is a great lyricist and artist. I love his music and the way he can express his life experiences. This year he performed in a cypher for the BET Hip-Hop Awards. I am here for everything he said. I do not disagree with anything. But, the visual and the people are my concern. First, I understand that some of the black men behind him are his friends, however, this image portrays a white savior. In the video, you see Eminem rapping about Trump and his bigotry, while in the background there is a group of black men in all black. A white savior refers to a white person who acts to help non-white people, with the help in some contexts perceived to be self-serving. Some examples of white savior complexes are Freedom Writers(2007), The Soloist(2009), and The Blindside (2009). A white savior belittles the oppressed and demonstrates that they cannot save themselves. Its like "Captain-save-a-hoe" instead its "Captain Save-A-Nigger."   

I understand that Eminem is a "conscious" artist. He utilized his platform and privilege to speak on the fault in Trump and his presidency. However, when I see POC worship him as if, he did a miraculous thing, I am confused. I can consider Eminem as an ally, but I am unsure if I would invite him to the cookout. Hear me out, yes, he used his privileged for the oppressed, and yes he is conscious about the racial and presidential tension that exists, but is that something out of the ordinary? In other words, did he do something that we, black people, have not been doing or saying? We invented putting the fist in the air for black power. We been calling Trump out on his racist, sexist, inconsiderate, kamikaze ways. We already say everything, that white allies just now have the courage to say.

The "cookout" is for us. Its our safe-haven. Its our black ritual. When we invite people who do not appreciate it or understand the value of it, we are gentrifying our experience for public acceptance of not being considered exclusive or anti-white. I am not anti-white, but I am pro-black. That means I am for black exclusive spaces. I am for black exclusivity. The issue comes when the white race take black exclusivity as a means of segregation. No, I am not promoting Jim Crow behaviors, but I am promoting the right to have black spaces without the interference of whiteness. 

[authentic-poetry-blog]

[spilled-thouqhts]

I’m hurt by the fact you will listen to one side, and won’t even get the chance to hear me out. The tears just don’t ever stop, but my trust for you has stopped. Humans are really strange creatures, we can talk to someone everyday sharing every amazing moment with them the next moment they’ll stab you in the front just so you can witness every second of the pain. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself for trusting you, trusting the fact that our friendship would come first but I guess rumours always find a way to get to first place. You were always in first place, the person that everyone looked up to. You even are extremely proud of yourself, I don’t blame you I mean who couldn’t be proud of you. Well I’m not, you may have the looks, the intelligence, the likeable personality but you didn’t give me a chance. Excuse myself for sounding selfish but if you can’t give me a chance to speak and take the effort to hear what I have to say, I really am not proud of you. In fact, I’m disappointed including that our friendship has to end this way. So listen to that one side, filled with the beautiful lies scattered around just you wait till the hideous truth finally comes out. 

[falll-and-be-alright]

[authentic-poetry-blog]

I always do.

[floral-souls]

[authentic-poetry-blog]

😞

[unknowngirlinlove]

[lovelustquotes]

[strawberries-and-sunflowers-dea]

I’m sorry okay?

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Laughter is a Survival Apparatus

The best laughs are the silent laughs where you cannot speak, and breathing is difficult. The best laughs are also the laughs when you cannot stop crying and you still laugh 5 minutes after the joke was said. The best laughs also include the laughs when you try to hold it in and start making a "pfft" noise because you're in class, or in a meeting, and it isn't really the right time to be joking.  

I am beginning to notice how therapeutic laughter is. I laugh when I am in pain or hurt the most. Laughing happens when I want to cry, or when I'm not sure what emotion to feel. Laughter is my default. I laugh at awkward times, serious times, sad times, anytime really. However, I realized I usually laugh because it's my survival tool. As a people, I notice we usually laugh at our pain to survive our pain. And that's pretty cool and scary. Like, have you ever found something out that should piss you off but instead, you laugh like you a lunatic or something? Well, I have and I am pretty sure I scared my Ex doing it. I imagine this is how I looked. 

But that's a story for another time. 

After seeing "Girls Trip," I realized why laughing is significant. Being able to smile and find joy in times of pain and heartache matters. Yes, I know "Girls Trip" is a comedy film, but I don't think anyone asked the simple questions: "Why does it make us laugh? How can Ryan, Regina Hall's character, laugh during marital problems? How can Sasha, Queen Latifah's character, laugh during financial problems? What does their laughter reveal to us about black people?"

We all laughed at the film, but not because it was only funny, but because we have experienced it in some form or another. The film is universal and not meant for one type of women, or even just for women. Laughing and comedy are not gendered or racial. We all do it. The thing about "Girls Trip" is that it was more than a comedy film, but it depicted the reality of black women and our pain and how laughing helps to cope. Kind of like Kevin Hart's "Laugh at my Pain," the women in "Girls Trip" learned to laugh at and through their pain, and I have learned to do the same. 

If any of you have seen "Girls Trip," you would know that Tiffany Haddish character, Dina, brought balance and laughter to the film. Literally, while I was watching the film I could not stop laughing at how comical Haddish was in this film. I think I laughed until my mascara ran, and I had to go to the restroom. I began to look more into Haddish after the film because I was curious in how someone can naturally comical in a scripted film. In addition, there is always a story behind the laughter.  Here is a link to one of the interviews I watched.

Haddish experienced a rough childhood, but the way she channels the pain is admirable. In one part of the interview, Haddish explains that out of fear of being beaten up, she began to joke. It's like if you befriend the bully by making them laugh then you will be safe from bullying. She understood laughter was more than a feel good thing, but it was a shield. It was a survival apparatus. In the interview, you will notice how Haddish can laugh at her pain no matter how sad it was, she can laugh. At one part of the interview when she talks about her becoming a mom at 8 and how she still does not know how to be one, she jokes about it. She laughs at the fact she had to step up to the plate and take care of her siblings when her mother was in a car accident. She laughs at her experiences.  

In "Girls Trip," there was not a sad moment that passed without laughing. The four women laughed through the individual pain they were experiencing. Laughing was their key to surviving their hardship. They laughed through the divorce, the pain, the unemployment, the honesty; they laughed through everything. Laughing is a social tool that everyone uses to combat the reality of pain or hardship. Have you ever met someone who is really goofy and jokes 24/7? Have you ever asked that person what is behind the laughter?

"Girls Trip" is what I needed. A good laugh always heals the hurt. Never allow pain or hurt to cause you to stop laughing and smiling. If you can laugh through your pain, you can overcome your pain. You can overcome anything. It may hurt at that moment, but if you can find a way to laugh about it, you will be able to survive it. Until Next Time,

Jade Juana

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Why Fearless Mentality?

I would be lying if I said, "I was always fearless." I would also be lying if I said, "I am always in a fearless state." I would also be lying if I said, "a fearless mentality means you do not get scared." Truth be told, being fearless means you are scared, but you being scared does not mean you are not going to step out on faith and are willing to fall or fail. Until you want something bad enough and are willing to make sacrifices and mistakes, you cannot live a fearless lifestyle. 

As you all begin your week, I wanted to start with the foundation of Fearless Mentality. My senior year of high school, I realized something was different about me. I thought differently than everyone else. I did not realize that until I got to college. Even in a space of all brilliant people, I still had this different mindset than everyone else. My mindset was and still is very action driven. I always believed if society isn't going to give me what I want, I'm going to create it or demand it. Many people settle with what society offers us as the only option, but I only saw society's offerings as one of my options.  I have changed my motto after long meditation on what I want to promote and embody. My new motto is "say 'yes' to life by any means necessary." If you are not familiar with who inspired it, check out Malcolm X and James Baldwin, two men who were fearless in their identities and beliefs. The reason my motto is "say 'yes' to life by any means necessary" is because at some point in your life you have to stand firm on what you believe no matter if you are standing alone. Lately, I have been standing alone for my beliefs on certain issues. It is nothing wrong with standing alone for what you believe, all that matters is you've said what you believe in.  The first time I did this was at a protest in the middle of numerous white students and faculty. One of the scariest moments in my life, but I had to speak up. I knew a lot of people wanted to speak up but did not have the chance, opportunity, or courage to do so. Also, I was not sure if that would be my only chance to speak the truth. That day, I could have let fear take over. That day, I could have stayed silent and blend into the crowd. But that day, I chose to speak and speak the truth.  What I learned was that when you are authentic in your beliefs and what you preach matches your practices, people will gravitate to it. People will also accept you more because of your authenticity. (They might not like what you say, but it is a certain respect you receive from being authentic.) Challenge for the Week: Do something you regret not doing before. Do something you have always wanted to, but talked yourself out of doing it. Start that book, site, clothing line, whatever it may be. Start doing what makes you happy. It's not too late to start. It can be something as simple as telling someone how you feel. The purpose is to practice standing firm in your beliefs.  Until Next Time, Jade Juana Scripture for the Week: "So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)

    photo source: google images

[authentic-poetry-blog]

Police protect the Klan's hatred and not the victim's of hatred

There is an on-going debate over whether Confederate monuments were a representation of the Southern legacy or symbols of slavery and oppression of blacks. Back in February, the Charlottesville City Council voted 3-2 to remove the statue of Gen. Robert E. Lee and renamed the park as Justice Park memorializing the southern city's enslaved population. On Saturday, the Ku Klux Klan held a rally in Charlottesville, VA in response to the removal of the statue at Justice Park. About 50 or so Klan members and supports gathered on Saturday, however, it was met with a thousand counterprotesters. Here a video of some of the event. 

I watched this video about 20 times. Each time I watched the video I wondered what would have happened if the police were not present. Would the KKK have lynched a counterprotester? Would we be screaming #JusticeFor___? Is this foreshadowing another civil war but a racial one?

This video is another prime example that we do not live in a post-racial America and the police are not meant for people of color. I understand that the KKK has a permit to rally, but the visual of the police securing and protecting the KKK like barricade says enough. How can the police protect the KKK but never protect POC on a daily basis? It's amazing how even when people of color want to make some noise about America's skeleton's we must ask for permission. And even when we have permission, we are only allowed to make noise for two hours. 

The rally of the KKK with police protection is enough. America's protection for its racial and traumatizing past proves what truly matters and Black lives are not it. As people of color, we can no longer depend on the American police system to police us or protect us. We must do it ourselves. We must protect our own people because no one else will. Until we protect ourselves, we will forever be at war unprotected. This war I refer to is the racial one. The war against white power or supremacy. This war for equity and racial justice. We will forever lose until we create our own systems for our own people. 

If you watched the video I linked above, you would have seen a man named, David Barker. Barker stated, "When people don't like our history, we kindly ask you to leave America. We don't go in other people's countries and take down their monuments, so why should we have to take ours[down]?"

In response to Barker, it's not that we do not like your history. It's actually not only your history. IT is ours, too. It's the fact that you don't want to acknowledge ALL of our history. You do not want to acknowledge the enslavement of my people. The lynching of my people. The blood of my people. But you want to acknowledge a General or Confederate army members. You cannot pick and choose which part of our history we remember. You cannot decide how we choose to remember. 

History can no longer be one-sided. It can no longer praise the victor and forget the victim. History is more than the one telling the story. Today, we must examine history as always having a B-side. You must ask: what is not being told? Who is missing in these stories? Until we can acknowledge America's history hollistically, we will never be liberated as Americans. 

[authentic-poetry-blog]

#F*ckThaPolice: "What if the roles were switched?"

On June 27, BET aired a new hip-hop anthology series "Tales," which was created and produced by Irv "Gotti" Lorenzo. Each episode is a story from a specific hip-hop song. He takes the new and old hip-hop songs and creates a visual narrative to parallel the song. The premiere episode was inspired by N.W.A.'s song, "F*ck Tha Police", which released in 1988. 

Episode one is centered around a controversial police shooting of a young boy. Sounds familiar to what's going on today with black and brown people and law enforcement, right? However, Irv Gotti put a twist on this encounter and the events that follow. The twist is he decided to reverse the races. You know how POC always say "What if he/she were white? What if the roles were switched?" Irv Gotti created that visual in the first episode. 

Watching "F*ck Tha Police," I was having mixed emotions. The familiarity of the young boy being shot, references to Eric Garner, race riots, "stop and frisk," racial profiling, black hypersexuality, Jim Crow and the acquittal of cops- all were triggering for me. It's as if I knew what would happen next before it happened because in fact this is not a "tale" but the reality for us, people of color. I appreciate how Irv Gotti's visual did not stay within N.W.A.'s 1988 idea of police brutality, but he went back to Jim Crow and brought it to present day. 

What I like most about this episode was the subliminal messages. As I analyzed the film, it was certain reference that were not explicit as "I can't breathe" or the visual cops shooting a young man. I noticed that Irv Gotti called the ghetto, "the jungle." Though some hoods or ghettos are actually called this, in this film, I understood in a different way. Historically, black people were dehumanized and viewed as being lower than apes. If black people are seen as animalized, they must come from a "jungle." Irv Gotti reverse race by now hypothetically animalizing white people in this episode.

The most heart racing and stomach dropping scene from this episode was at the climax to the end, when the lead character, Brody, was murdered in the same manner as Eric Garner. After this, the whole oppressed community rioted and protested. During the riot, it is an exact replica or 1960s or present day protests with the race roles switched. The most memorable image was the hanging of a white man, Brody Jenner, while D'Angelo's "How does it feel" hook plays in the background. (Here is a Irv Gotti's explanation).

Literally, I wanted to cry. I was speechless for a moment seeing Jenner's lynched body from that tree, and seeing the violence between cop and residents. Though the lynched man was white, I could only see a black man in that noose. What does it mean when you cannot imagine the roles of race being switched? What does it mean when I cannot convince myself that if the roles were switched it would be the same?  

"F*ck Tha Police" can serve as a start to discussing the portrayal of people of color and translating our experience as authentically and correctly as possible. This first episode raised a lot of questions for me as it relates to the portrayal of people of color. The over-dramatized scene of whites being in a "black person's shoes" was bothersome. As I watched, all I could ask was: "Will white people see the black man in a different light? Are we, black people, really only viewed as coming from the "ghetto?" Will this cultural appropriation overshadow the purpose or cause more issues? Will white people feel the burden of race like we, people of color, do?" I don't think so. 

I find many things problematic with "F*ck Tha Police." Though black men and women were now in the position of power, and white men and women were in the oppressed role, the Black man still appeared as this dangerous, hypermasculine, evil being that was endangering to the white community. For example, one of the jurors in the show explained how she frequently saw Black cops mistreat and harm whites. Now if we take this out of the context of cops, we are left with a black man being a threat to a white person. 

Yes, as people of color, we experience this brutality regularly, however, by trying to reverse the roles race, we are not eliminating the original connotations of what it means to be black or white. When race was created, white was defined as all things pure, good, God-like, while black was everything evil, bad, dark, or unpure. When watching "F*ck Tha Police" it is difficult to imagine the roles of race being switched, when a specific way of thinking about race was engrained in society. 

Another issue with this episode was how controlled the scenario was. When police brutality happens to people of color, it does not just happen to "gang-bangers," but it can happen to students, professors, doctors, lawyers, preachers. It does not just happen in the hood that looks like the projects, but it can happen in your car, the store, the sidewalk, the jail cell, a police car, a park, even a protest. We, people of color, can even experience police brutality while wearing a suit and tie. Yes, this particular setting is correct that Irv Gotti presented, but why did it have to be the "projects?" Is that the first thing that comes to mind when we hear police brutality or hip-hop? 

Yours,

Jade Juana

    photo source: BET 

[authentic-poetry-blog]

To My Nephews

Dear baby boys,

I loved you once you were born. 

Fragile and at peace.

Innocent.

Yet I knew the personality that would develop would be of your witty mothers.

 Though you were still developing 

I knew your eyes would be big.

Your skin will be melaninated.

Your head would be large.

Oh, they are so large.

 I loved how I knew how you would look. 

But the way you look to me will not look the same to others. 

You were no threat. 

Nothing more than curious black boys with black boy joy. 

Screaming for candy, or Mickey Mouse or an IPad,

I loved it. 

I still do.

 I remember your mothers when they were carrying you. 

The weight of bearing a child in their bellies.

Stretching their skin more than they expected.

You made them uncomfortable.

 I remember my first prayer for you.

That you would not end up like Trayvon or Tamir.

That you will be more than another black boy.

You will not be taken from us because of a toy or Arizona tea.

I prayed for your future.

 Glad you were born in an age where you can say “A black president is normal.”

Where Black men are encouraging #BlackBoyJoy

Where Black men are educated, believers, doctors, lawyers, FATHERS, Unpologetically Black.

There is enough Black men to show you what being a man is. 

 I am glad.

Glad that your blood flows with melanin.

You will know what hard work is.

You will understand that “white privilege” is not a given.

That “white privilege” is not something to be proud about.

It is a curse.

A constant reminder of the White Man’s Guilt.

Thank God you are black.

 You will know James Brown screamed “I’m black and I’m Proud.”

And Martin Luther King had a dream for you. 

And Ruby Bridges tested the norms for you to see more than color in your classrooms.

And the Greensboro sit in was for you to have a choice.

This is your history.

A site of memory I remember so vividly.

 I will not teach you about obeying authority

because authority is not always right.

But you will know right from wrong.

You will know that society is not always right to you,

but you demand your rights by any means necessary.

 I promise to protect you.

Though not from my womb

I love you like I birthed you.

So, when your parents tell you ‘no’ do not cry.

Because life is not full of “yes’s”

When you feel mistreated, do not be silent because silence will not be your advocate.

When your parents yell at you to listen, do not get mad or irritable but hear them.

Hear the discrete warnings they are giving you.  

When you want to give up--No. That is never an option. 

When you get comfortable, know that you are settling for the bare minimum.

When you feel unsafe, know that God’s angels are ten steps ahead of you.

 Remember it is okay to cry.

It will not make you less of a man.

Remember it is okay to be scared, but do not let fear decide your future

 Most importantly,

Remember it is okay to be different.

 Love,

Auntie Jade