✨️new pinned post✨️
click to learn more about the rat writing words on this blog and attached disclaimers➡️
hi i'm lee, they/them, USA, 30-something disabled rat just trying my best!
this blog is a dedicated journal space where I ramble and rant and vent my inner thoughts that threaten to affect my mental health if I keep them in. I have this ability where if I write my thoughts and throw them out into the world (post online) they instantly stop plaguing me in that moment. perhaps they can be caught by someone who needs them, someone who realizes they aren't so alone in the world. (I also post here to share my thoughts with my therapist since talking is hard for me)
I post a lot about being autistic and my social struggles caused by being autistic, and my struggles being medium support needs. my trauma related to growing up undiagnosed until adulthood and not getting my needs met. my struggles with unmedicated adhd. struggles with probably having DID or something form of dissociative disorder. my struggles with my disabilities, chronic pain, and chronic illnesses (diagnosed with POTS, hEDS, suspecting MCAS and possible autoimmune). my experiences being lgbt (trans/nonbinary, aroace, and all the fluidity of a cat between everything else). occasionally ranting about religious trauma and politics because my conservative family is obsessed with it and shoves it into my face.
if any of that sounds relatable to you, you're welcome to follow along this messy journey. i'm not am advocate or a write. just a random person with a blog using writing to cope and sharing with the possibility other lonely souls will find comfort in my words somehow.
some things to note/disclaimers:
i'm not here to make friends and be social on this blog despite what i post about. this is a coping journal. i've recently realized that I dont enjoy making or maintaining friendships though bonding over similar traumas or shared negative experiences. it affects my mental health poorly unfortunately. i prefer shared interests and have lighthearted interactions! also when I talk about wanting friends, most of the time meaning in person, local friends! that's what I currently need most 🥹
i'm going to turn off messaging on here because of the point above. I just dont have the energy to give people the attention they deserve, and i feel bad when someone reaches out and i forget to respond or dont have energy to 😭 i'll leave my ask open for anyone who has a genuine question....but keeping anon off for now because I keep getting spammed my bots 💀 might turn on again later. apologies for that. (imo you're already anon by hiding behind a computer screen, i dont know who you are and too lazy to look at your blog if that helps lol)
unless i explicitly ask for advice or opinions, i'm probably just venting. I appreciate all replies though and know people just want to help so i wont yell as you for it. but please dont get upset if you give advice and it seems like I ignore it or "shoot it down" (I probably been told, tried, or thought about it already) especially if I didnt explicitly ask. i'm trying my best! I appreciate encouragement a lot though, if you want to help!
i'm also not here for validation or anything else specifically. it's just easier to convince my brain to forget about problems (at least temporarily) if I cast them out into the world like tossing a letter in a bottle into the ocean. goodbye sad thoughts! into the internet abyss you go! no longer inside my head or in my room. yippee!
I tag things like "#autism #autistic" and other general tags, it usually means i'm posting with the intention of sharing with others. if I dont use those tags, it's just random brain explosion i'm not expecting anyone to read lol
I decided to unlink my other blogs from this one and keep this a separate, more disconnected space. if you want to know more about my interests or hobbies, I guess you can ask in my ask box!
remember these are my personal experiences and yours will be different. i'm not trying to invalidate you in any way and some rants are just to vent out frustration. sometimes i want to say mean things to assert dominance over my trauma rather than saying them directly to an actual person. please never respond to me to argue. I dont like arguments, especially caused by misunderstandings. words are hard, feelings are hard, life is hard, so dont take everything to heart. step away if you need to!















