autumn

she/it, polyamorous, kitty, angry bites the reader cutely :3c

[autumninautun]

hello!

im autumn, we are a 17 (ignore the fact that it took me over a month to update this) year old DID system. we go by she/it pronouns, and we are polyamorous.

i like linguistics, maths, programming, philosophy, sociology, politics, basically anything.

i Bite people. this is both a threat and a promise

tranarkitty. trans anarchist kitty. i like portmanteaus, but this is a portmantrois.

my dni is "if i tell you so"

[autumninautun]

tw suicide implied

"Anthorepel Reprise"

The people that I’ve met withdraw,

And the oceans between enlarge.

Disconnected, this time I’m lost.

I don’t know the reason, what am I?

What have I done wrong?

Why do they retreat?

Leaving me behind,

I’m gone again, rewind.

The oceans between enlarge,

This time I’m lost in myself.

Codas draw nearer with every word,

Losing myself like everyone else.

What have I done wrong?

Why do they retreat?

I am left behind,

Rewind and repeat.

Rewind and repeat.

Rewind and repeat.

Rewind and repeat.

[autumninautun]

Fact! Lesbians.

[autumninautun]

tw corpse

pun of all time (where time is within the last thirty nanoseconds)

me: wanna know something really cool?

corpse: what?

me: your hands

corpse: ...what?

...

corpse: you know what im killing you back

[autumninautun]

tw mentions of torture

back to singing

i hope the latin is right. any latin knowers might correct me (lyrics in description)

[autumninautun]

why do i bite people? because they are there.

[autumninautun]

tw dehumanization, CSA implied

im actually happy with how this one turned out

[autumninautun]

the absurd amount of restraint it requires to avoid clicking on something i know will trigger me because im curious

[autumninautun]

major tws for torture, religious mentions (specifically relating to Dante's Inferno), child abuse, ramcoa/oea

"Septcircle/Nonacircle (Onset)" - me

Verse 1

When I’m thinking about the future,

I look into the darkness ahead.

You took me apart, told me what’s next,

Let me do nothing but be dead.

No one understands my bleeding.

But all bad things are fleeting,

And new ones come in after them!

Chorus

When we’re thinking about the past,

I tend to go towards what made me.

You made me and I left you there,

No one knows why I still fear.

If we were in hell, you’d be at seven,

And I’d be at nine!

Verse 2

I understand the consequences,

Not of my actions but of yours.

From the past to the present,

You tortured me and now I’m yours.

Chorus

Bridge

I’m trapped inside the storm,

I’m submerged in the cold,

Twisted into another form.

I hope this is what you wanted.

And you’re boiling in my blood,

Feeling the torture that I was.

But always I am yours,

Not that I asked to be!

Chorus

Outro

You made me and I left you there,

No one knows why I still fear.

You tortured me and I walked away,

So even I don’t know escape.

[autumninautun]

super short instrumental track i made

[autumninautun]

(tw child abuse)

been getting into listening to metalcore music

"Nine-Tenths of the Law" - me

Verse 1

Another day, another fatal case.

Arrogance has come back to our place.

They’re telling us, once you have it,

It is yours to use as you wish.

I, too, was once in that place.

Not the owner, but the possessed.

Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law,

Not when we are bleeding and raw.

Chorus

Excuses were made for the dead,

“Why do they walk around?

Why don’t they just sit down?”

And then when it came to a head,

“Possession is nine-tenths of the law!

These are the children who fall!”

That’s what you said!

Verse 2

Another day, another dying place.

A moral world so small, it fits in a case.

They’re telling us, once they have us,

We are theirs to use as they wish.

Chorus

Bridge

The walls are now painted red,

And we were the frauds instead.

The walls are now painted red,

And they lied when we were dead.

Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law,

Not when us children can’t fall.

Already on the ground,

Violence all around.

Chorus x2

[autumninautun]

vent

major tw CSA, physical abuse, might be especially triggering to some due to a certain game

in my group they played "red light green light." they made me do something (usually something simple like walking) and i had to stop on red light. if i didnt or was too slow, they would rape or beat me. sometimes the other kids would join in. i had to continue on green light and if i didnt or was too slow, the same would happen.

now every time its mentioned i feel scared and sick. i was reminded of it when playing Minecraft (on a hypixel minigame) a while ago and it caught me off guard.

...

why do i keep venting and giving myself flashbacks and triggers without thinking.

[autumninautun]

tw religion, CSA implied, death implied

"Purpose Hijacker" - me

Verse 1

Prescriptions help the brain run easier,

But they don’t take the problem away.

Whether you believe in God or Satan,

No one at all or everyone at once!

I believed for such a long time,

In a lower purpose for myself.

The faith that nothing will get better,

And they told me exactly what I am!

Chorus

Bastards hijack believing in a world

Where a purpose is something you want.

Bastards told me what exactly that they want,

And so supposedly, it’s what I want.

Verse 2

I don’t believe in a god or a purpose,

But I guess it’s nice for some to have.

I accepted everything that I was told,

That I have no life when old.

Chorus

Bridge

Bastards told me what all I was good for,

I thought the truth was spoken there.

No one saw my face,

And knew what went on.

No one loved me,

And cared what we thought.

We were told that we were meant to

Serve you as you want.

And that we had no purpose when old,

Maybe replacing and joining the fold.

Now I refuse!

Now I refuse!

Chorus x2

[deprogramming-techsupport]

reminders for beta programmed parts and OEA survivors with sexual conditioning

warnings for talk of sex / sexual programming

you are worthy of non-sexual affection

you aren't gross for your programs

it's okay that consent looks more complicated for you. you deserve someone who will make sure you actually want it.

you deserve aftercare

you are not a sex object. you do not exist to please others.

you don't need to force yourself to like it.

you are allowed to safe word.

you are allowed to say no.

you are allowed to reclaim your sexuality. enjoying sex is not a sin.

you deserve and are worthy of autonomy

you never have to let anyone touch your body.

[autumninautun]

i wish i could internalize this but its really hard.

[autumninautun]

tw slightly nsfw

and sports metaphor /j

[autumninautun]

avery is forcing me to tag my posts because she's angry that im not putting my name at the end.

this is why we blame everything on her. /j

- Luna

[autumninautun]

hey what the fuck bitch /lh

[autumninautun]

tw weapons/guns

this rant is mostly a joke

HOW THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS A FINGER GUN

"the thumb is the hammer" MY ASS. how big is your fucking gun and how small is the barrel in proportion.

i have invented a finger gun THIRTEEN TRILLION FUCKING TIMES BETTER.

(screaming incoherently)

...

Hello! I am a very normal human being.