……

programmed pf-did, 18+, agender he/him

[cor-vent]

I hate almost every piece of my art. I want to destroy them they have nothing special nothing memorable. I don't want to be something replaceable, but I've always been.

[cor-vent]

[random-crutch]

It's so hard to feel like a person

[cor-vent]

[cor-vent]

Why does it always hurt so much

[thrashingdreamer]

Phantom

[cor-vent]

Let me be something else.

[cor-vent]

I can't sleep for I feel a man panting on me

[cor-vent]

Witness

[lunargarden]

This is one of my favorites

[cor-vent]

Thank you for liking my art, I'm so glad, truly

[cor-vent]

[cor-vent]

A boy's body

[cor-vent]

I am nothing I am everything

[cor-vent]

I've always been easily replaceable, there's nothing special in me at all, just another child whore with holes to be fucked, with hands to hold guns. I am worthless when not in use anymore. I've tried so hard to make myself special, irreplaceable, to proof I have something in me with my writings and paintings, but it's never enough. I need to create myself again so that I'm not a creation of him anymore, but more often than not I feel it's impossible. I'd rather die and I should die, for I'm utterly worthless, and the shame of being worthless is unbearable.

[cor-vent]

Was I ever beautiful?

[almost-solace]

I’m so tired of the world man. Why can’t I just go back to my old ways and follow strict rules and take commands from people who I know own me. I don’t care that they hurt me at least they kept me alive and I didn’t have to do it all by myself. I don’t know how to keep myself alive. I don’t know how to do anything. It’s not fair

[cor-vent]

I am

[cor-vent]

I want to know what he would have been if there could be a world where neither of us was programmed, where he’s just an ordinary man—my dad or my lover. But without the programmed role of his victim, I don't even exist. And he can't exist either without the role of the perpetrator.