Captain Assmerica @avengingtheavengers - Tumblr Blog

mspollutedstar-deactivated20190

Parents be like that’s my emotional support eldest daughter

tragicallybeautifultiger

parents be like that’s the third parent in the family, my eldest daughter

nayeonz-deactivated20191201

this is all getting BORING i need to fall in love like right now

batwizard

anyone else live under the assumption that they’re constantly doing something wrong

tiptoe39

How about the assumption that everyone’s just being polite and any minute now they’re going to snap and let you know how awful you are

andalusiapunk

Everyone who reblogs this post, please read about the psychological phenomena of Childhood Emotional Neglect.

emile8

Oh, fuck.

dingo-the-dog

Oh, fuck.

supershybutpushingthroughit

I don’t like that shit, at ALL

deerinspotlight

I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you! Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting!

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company. Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

squeakykins

I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.

blome3kissesbitch

I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities

blome3kissesbitch

P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them

naamahdarling

Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy. Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them. I just don’t need to blink very often!

Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it. I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful. They aren’t! They just AREN’T DOGS.

teaboot

Okay not to interrupt, but like…. I grew up literally surrounded by cats 24/7 and I personally understand them just fine, but would anyone be able to do a translation post for dogs?? I like them too but their behavior totally throws me off, they’re so confusing

greedyraptor

don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake

lilmamabeyellin

liquidlimits-deactivated2019032

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

catchymemes

Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead

invader-bean

he accepted ur cold drink!!

coffeecutsandcigarettes

one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them

millennial-review-deactivated20

jumpingjacktrash

one of the lessons i learned from captain america:

sometimes you fight, not because you think you can win, but because you need to be able to look back later and say, “i fought.”

fairydusts

girl culture is turning around every few feet when you’re walking alone to see if someone’s following u

your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord

Learn to peep through the corner of your eye so you’re not quite so obvious when you turn.

feministfront

Putting in your earphones so hopefully no random men try to talk to/harass you but not actually playing music so you can listen for footsteps/other suspicious noises behind you.

gibbearish

feeling like someone is following you and subtly shifting whatever object you’re holding into a better grip so you can use it as a bludgeon if the person behind you tries anything