I Quit
[Please do not reblog or comment on this post. I will not read it.
Please do not try to contact me about this post. I am making this post to get closure. Don't take my closure.]
Let’s make this official here: I’m done with Tumblr, and I’m done with fandom. Forever.
I had a long diatribe about all of the reasons here that I was going to post, but as I consider posting them, I find myself... not actually wanting to do so. These are extremely private experiences, and I don’t want to air them in front of the entire internet.
All I can say is that, ultimately, I’ve been getting counseling recently for issues with anxiety and depression. And when I explained my fandom experiences to my counselor, her advice was simple – no more fandom.
And as I found myself working on a fic yesterday, and instead just finding myself frozen by visions of how it could go wrong and what people might say about it, I realized she was right. My fandom experiences have been taken over entirely by my social anxiety. There are people out there who can do Tumblr and fandom in healthy ways. But I am not and will never be one of them.
To everyone who has liked my works over the years: thank you all. That’s all I’ve got. After some effort, I have run a script to remove all other posts on this blog. I know that reblogs of many of my posts are still out there, but I would consider it a personal favor if you would stop reblogging posts made by this blog, or even delete reblogs of them you have. I may block blogs that I consider likely to reblog posts of mine if I hear or otherwise find out that one of my old posts is starting to take off again, or have a friend help me manage that, as it’s a major source of anxiety for me. Please, just let me disappear.
So I quit. And because I’m the type of person who needs closure, I’m making it official. I just want to be done with all of this. I want to do something fun again. I’m not done enjoying fictional media entirely, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get back into DC or Dragon Age again. There’s just so much shit I have to work through, and that healing can’t begin without leaving it all behind.
Goodbye, everyone. Be kind to each other, and be kind to yourselves.