L O S T .

"I lied, you destroyed me. Piece by piece until I became nothing. Now look at me, look at what you've done."

[avianamrtnxo]

albaxsutton:

“I love the semi-annual chats with my mom. Explaining to her that I’m not pregnant, on drugs or homeless and living in a box is always a great joy. Oh, my favorite parts are when she tries to convince me that I’m wasting my life out here and am going to end up failing because of what I’ve chosen to do with my life.” She let her faux cheery smile fall from her face and instead let a grimace replace it, a heavy sigh lifting her already tense shoulders. “Are you sensing the sarcasm or do I have to try a little harder?”

Aviana stayed quiet, only letting her smile show on her face every so often as the girl spoke. Once she had finally finished, Aviana let out a groan of her own before shaking her head. “Gosh, you’re so lucky—I wish I had those kind of conversations with my mom,” she stated as if she truly was sad she wasn’t able to, and she was don’t get me wrong but sometimes she was glad not to have to worry about these kinds of things.

[avianamrtnxo]

clara-ammon:

Clara grinned, “Yes, you do.” she said, moving to open curtains before handing a coffee off to the other woman, “Come on, today we’re going to have fun. No more moping. I vote we go do cheesy tourists stuff that we can stick you in a wheelchair for. That way we have fun and you don’t have to deal with crutches. What about the aquarium? They have penguins. And it’s my treat!”

Shaking her head, Aviana was determined to stay in bed for a little while longer. She just wanted to never leave at this point, but then the sun hit her eyes and boom she was awake. Fluttering, she moved to sit up on her bed as she let her hand wrap around the coffee Clara was giving her. “Are you sure?” she asked before taking a sip. “That sounds like a lot of money to be shelled out.”

[noah-j-devin-blog]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home

[avianamrtnxo]

noah-j-devin:

Something about the way that Aviana spoke made him feel like just maybe, she would be right. Maybe things would be okay again. He relaxed into her touch, part of him felt like he shouldn’t be so comfortable with her. But this was Aviana. He knew, on an instinctive level, that he could trust her completely. Right now that was all he wanted, to just relax and be with someone he trusted, to not have to worry. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ve, ah, I’ve never actually seen that show. It’s good?” he questioned softly as the show began to play. “Are you going to stay here, Avi?” he asked after a moment, “Until, um, until they get things rebuilt in Midtown?”

She sort of laughed as he asked her about the show, knowing that it was a movie and he would soon realize that too. A part  of her felt a bit sad about it though, wondering if he ever had gotten the chance to experience movies and going out with friends, having fun in general. She was sure Lorelei had made it hell on him to want to do so, but now that she was no longer in the picture Aviana was going to try and make sure he had all the fun he had deserved to have. “It’s a funny movie, you’ll love it,” she stated first before she turned to look at him. “Well...yeah, probably. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

[avianamrtnxo]

noah-j-devin:

Noah smiled softly as he watched her testing the longer length of the pants before shrugging and giving a small laugh, “Well, I did shock them once I finally got taller then my sister.” he agreed, “Shocked her too, I think part of her honestly believe she’d always be the tallest.” he added in amusement before moving to sit next to her on the couch, setting his own drink on the coffee table before he reached for the remote to hand it to her. “Alright, anything you want. I’ve got Netflix too.” he assured her. He just wanted her to be okay now.

“You know I think you’re good at that, shocking people,” she stated softly, a smile on her face as she took a long sip from her drink. It was nice to feel like she was safe...though she was sure her dreams would betray her soon enough. Setting her drink upon the table as he handed her the remote, Aviana scooted herself towards her him a bit and leaned her head onto his shoulder. “You pick, laying here with you will be all that I need, honestly.”

[avianamrtnxo]

zakolton:

“Yes, yes, you do.” He corrected her, arching a brow as she continued to speak, dark hues falling to her hand as she held it out. Stepping forward, he took a hold of her hand, giving it a small squeeze. “You want me to come nap with you?” He asked, an offer that really did sound all too good to pass up with heavy eyes that he had been ignoring for the last four hours. “Then you’ll eat?”

A slight shake of her head came in protest, though as she felt his hand take hold of hers the small smile that was slowly creeping up onto her lips fully formed. Her eyes opened a bit more before she nodded her head again. “Yes...I promise.” her body scooting over some, she tugged on his arm.

[avianamrtnxo]

only hoping dreams don’t come true || aviana martin x self

Since the storm, you could say that Aviana was just a bit off—not really herself. She had been able to fool those who would take her first answer and ask no questions further, but there had been a select few that could tell the girl had something bothering her. Tucked away in her current living arrangement, the burgundy haired girl laid in her bed and tried to get herself to finally go to sleep. The last few nights had been rough, rarely getting sleep because of hr own thoughts. Now though, she was determined to get there, to drift off and be in her own safe place.

That’s what she wanted to think anyways, unaware that her dreams would only turn into nightmares within moments of drifting. Hands tucked under pillows, her head lay on the pillow an her mind left her. At first, her dreams seemed fine, seeing good images o her childhood or even little moments she had with a few of her friends here. Then, as if it had happened in slow motion, each person she was seen with slowly disappeared and she was left standing alone in the darkness. As if it was playing out in real time, she reached into her back pocket and grabbed her phone—flashlight app used to light her way forth.

Shaky steps moved her forward, trying to find a point where there was light other than the one leading her. As she took a few more steps forward she saw something else appear in the way— something that completely froze her where she stood. Her light shaking as her hand did, wide eyes caught a look at a frozen body, one that was dressed in her same clothes and hair pulled back like she normally wore. As she stared into its eyes, she slowly collected that it was herself; frozen, dead. When she finally got the courage to move, she turned to have her light land on two more bodies; her parents.

Instantly, they rose moving to grab at her, trying to speak to her. Taking careless steps backwards she bumped into something that spun her—that something was her own, dead reflection. Her mouth opened to scream, but instead nothing came out, silence. Body flinging upwards, a loud scream was heard throughout the hotel. Once she realized where she was, Aviana moved her hands to place against the bed as she was now pushing herself against the wall behind her. Knees curling up to her chest, she felt her breathing grow heavier and heavier. Tears started to stream down her cheeks, their warm hint giving her only a fraction of comfort. One hand moved to cross over her chest now as the girl tried to figure out how she was going to do this, how she was honestly going to ever  get herself back to normal. 

[avianamrtnxo]

elliothclt:

There were a great deal of things that Elliot didn’t like, in fact he was pretty sure that list was so long that it didn’t really have an end to it. But this was something he hated the most - being unable to do anything to help someone he cared about. This was never a great situation to be in, on either side and he just wished there was something that he could do to make this whole situation ever the slightest bit better. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I’m blaming you.” Because the last thing any of this was was her fault. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to do something to help people, he just wished that things hadn’t gone so terribly for her. No good deed goes unpunished was apparently truer than he realized. It would make life so much easier if there was the perfect combination of words for him to say to make everything magically better  - but, well, he knew far too well that sometimes nothing could be said. Of course, that hardly made him feel better about being only slightly higher than useless in this entire situation. Aviana had been such a…bright spot in his life that he only wanted to be able to do half as much for her as she’d done for him. He reached forward to gently rub his hand against her cheek, tucking some stray hair behind her hair. Just little gestures that he hoped were even the slightest comforting. “Hey, of course. Of course. I’m not going anywhere. Let me take care of you for a change.”

‘Let me take care of you for a change,’ what a foreign statement to hear. To even remotely think about letting someone do that for her felt off, like it wasn’t supposed to happen. Aviana was accustomed to taking care of herself, and she felt that she had been doing a decent job—or so she thought anyways. Her mental health could use some work, but her physical was pretty good...well sort of. Thinking the phrase over for a few seconds, she let a small smile start to from on her features as she took in his features and the worry that was written all over them. Slight nod in her head, she spoke. “I think I could try and let you do that,” she states softly, before moving a bit closer towards him. “I trust you,” stated right before she moved to place her lips against his in a gentle manner at first, hand giving his a squeeze.

[avianamrtnxo]

mranthonywilliams:

“Well, too bad.” Anthony replied, letting out a soft sigh at the woman. He understood that she might be tired, but sleeping all day wasn’t going to be of any use to anyone. Anthony understood that thing hadn’t been the best for her lately, and that was exactly why he wanted to help cheer her up. “I am here to cheer you up and I refuse to leave until you get out of bed and do something fun with me.” Anthony replied, knowing that it wasn’t good for her to be locked up and avoiding the world.

Aviana rolled over to look at who was talking to her now, a small smile forming when she saw it was Anthony, though she merely laid on her back and scooted herself up against her pillows. “But what if I think that staying in bed is the funnest part of any day?”

[avianamrtnxo]

dakotaaren:

Something in him panicked then. A feeling he’d kept long locked away, awakened in his chest, and made his heart collide against his chest, as if it wanted to escape his body and embrace her for him. As if he wanted to give her his heart to keep herself alive. Because he could feel her own breaking in his arms, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to hold her up, when she was so desperate to keep falling. He knew she expected him to let her go, to let the waters take her. Like it had taken her parents. But just like Noah and others that cared for her, he would never do that. He couldn’t even fathom it. So he just held on tighter, leaning onto the counter behind him to stable them both, and resting his head atop her own. “It’s not your time Av…and it won’t be for a long time. Not unless you let it. Which I know you won’t. You’re stronger than that. I know you don’t believe that—but you’ve made it this far haven’t you? Haven’t you?” He brushed her hair out of her face, holding her upright by her shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes. He needed her to understand that he wasn’t going anywhere. At least he hadn’t intended to. Not for a long time. Not until she was ready for him to let go. If that was never, that would be fine. Just as long as she kept on fighting. It was a curse Dakota had been marked with since his brother died, caring for people so much he was willing to do whatever it took to keep them standing. Even if it meant he would soon fall. A loss of care for his own life in replacement for the care of someone else’s. “Things have been shitty…but if we keep going I know they have to get better. Alright they have to. Life isn’t that fucked up..” He hoped his words weren’t lost in the wind. He hoped she heard them, and it stuck. “Why don’t we sit down alright..”

Aviana’s hands dug deeper into his shirt, into his skin. Knowing she was possibly holding too tight onto him but her fingers weren’t responding to un-tuck. For the longest she had wondered when God would take her too, when he would decide that enough was enough and she was no longer needed on this world. Nights had gone by terribly, most of them anxiety filled with thoughts that she just wouldn’t wake up or if the world would be a little better if she hadn’t. It took her a very long time to see that she was worth something to even one or two people in this world, and even if she couldn’t form the thought in her head—deep down she knew she was needed. His words hit home for her, arms wrapped around her still like a security blanket while she started to try and form a standing position. Her body still slumped into him, but for once out of this whole conversation she wanted to stand—no longer wanting to crash onto the floor in a puddle of her own despair. As she was pulled back from him, she tried to stifle her crying; brown eyes searching for his eyes as his hand lightly brushed against her skin and pulled hair from her red and puffy face. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten lucky enough to find someone like Dakota, to befriend him to have him in her life in general but she hadn’t felt more appreciative as she did now. She stayed quiet, crying starting to subside as she moved her still shaking hands to place against his shirt in a more gentler way now. Nodding her head with his last suggestion, Aviana would wait for him to lead her—otherwise the floor is where she was bound to be.

[avianamrtnxo]

zakolton:

Zak sat the bag among the kitchen counter, before heading towards the girl’s room. Where he was sure she was still coped up in bed. He was right. Her words immediately hitting him, causing him to take a seat in the chair opposite the bed. “Not even for food?” He asked, “You’ve gotta eat, Av.”

Hearing the deeper voice, Aviana slowly turned to look over at him—eyes only opening slightly. “No, no I don’t,” shaking her head she moved to reach a hand out to him. “Come, come, you need a nap.”

[noah-j-devin-blog]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home

[avianamrtnxo]

noah-j-devin:

Noah smiled softly at her, wishing he could explain to her just how much it meant that she was so kind to him, so gentle. After a night like the one before, it was desperately needed. He needed to remember that people could be good like she was, that not everyone was all rage and violence like Lorelei so often was. He took the mug from her, taking a small sip before joining her on the couch, sitting a little closer then he usually would, because he just needed to be close to her. She was calming, reassuring. He needed that. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just all … really overwhelming.” he said softly  “Yeah, I mean, if you wouldn’t mind? You pick? I just … want something else to think about for a while.”

As he sat closer to her, she scooted a bit into him and soon placed an arm around him, had moving to place against the side of his head. Fingers finding their way into his hair, she’d start to let her fingers roam softly about as she listened to him speak again. Nodding her head a little bit, she spoke back quickly. “It’s going to be at first, but you’re going to be just fine. Everything’s going to be just fine...I’ll pinky promise you that,” she stated, looking towards him before she looked back towards her TV. She wondered what was playing that night on cable but she had a Netflix account as well so they could always find something there. “So..maybe something funny to lighten the mood?” she asked before she picked up her remote and ran through the channels on the TV—stopping when she found ‘We’re The Millers’. “This should work, yeah?”

[avianamrtnxo]

noah-j-devin:

Noah nodded when she said that she could find the clothes and agreed to the honey, “Good, I’ll, ah, I’ll finish the tea and bring it into the living room for you then.” he told her with a small smile before stepping back into the kitchen to do just that. After a moment he headed back for the living room, setting her tea on a table by the couch, next to the bottle of advil he had gotten out earlier, and the ace bandage he had found. He had draped a couple of blankets over the back of the couch, and hoped it would be enough that she would be comfortable.

He smiled a little as he looked up and saw her, other then the sweatpants being a little long, it all really did fit her almost perfectly. “I’ve always been pretty small.” he said with a shrug, “Used to be pretty short too, I was glad when I finally grew a few more inches.” he admitted. It had been embarrassing as a teenager to barely be taller then his sister. “I’m glad they do fit though. Do you, um, do you need anything else?” he asked, wanting to make sure she had everything.

Her eyes dropped to the bottom of the sweats, how they hung a bit long on the back of her ankle. Moving her good foot about, she felt the fabric go underneath her foot for the moment before she shook it a bit and placed it back on the carpeted flooring. Eyes falling back over towards him, she laughed at his quick comments. “There’s nothing wrong with people a bit small at first..just means you get to shock everyone when you finally grow a bit,” she shrugged, before she started to make her slow walk around the couch. 

Plopping down, she shook her head. “No, no I think this is good. I think I’m really just ready,” she paused, fingers playing with one another while she figured out her thoughts. “I’m ready to relax...to get past this storm...past everything that happened.”

[avianamrtnxo]

dakotaaren:

Pain came in waves. Dakota had learned that a long time ago. It crept up your body like the waves encroaching on a shoreline, and swallowed you whole as it crashed. He’d dealt with enough of it to know when the current was in the process of crushing someone else. Which is why when he looked at the girl standing before him, he didn’t have to see the tears beginning to well in her eyes to know that she was seconds away from breaking. It’s why he’d wrapped his  arms around her and willed her to find him to be the shelter she need to block the rough waters. She wasn’t going to drown this time—get so close to death that it became her. He could feel her bones rattle and shake beneath him as she sobbed into his chest. And she’d never broken before—especially not in front of him—but he was thankful that it had been him to catch her before she’d fallen. The two rocked back and forth, Dakota stabling them every time her knees buckled. He ignored the way her nails dug into his skin when she twisted her hands into his shirt, gritting his teeth to block out the pain. If he needed to soak some of hers up he would. “But it didn’t, Av…and it’s not going to.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back soothingly, hoping she would accept his attempt to bring her back to solid ground. Afraid if he didn’t, the waters wouldn’t give her back. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you…okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you—you’re NOT going anywhere.” Words fell quickly from his lips in an attempt to calm her. “I’m right here…you’re right here.”

She wanted to fall, she wanted to drop to the floor and just lay there in a puddle of her own hurt and despair. However, Dakota wasn’t going to let that happen. His arms became her barriers from the storm rolling in around her. The girl was broken, in so many ways that she wasn’t sure many people would understand. Aviana was known for being her tough, outspoken self however deep down every day was a battle on if she was going to crack or not. There had been many times she had just about lost it, just about lost herself int he waves of emotions and thoughts that flooded her brainwaves. How could someone go about losing both of her parents and being left on her own to try and figure out life, figure out how to make sure she was okay and protect herself form the evils of the surrounding world? With a father shot down on the job and a mother who took her own life because she couldn’t live any longer without the love of her life—was the girl not destined for a youthful death? Her mind had played games with her long enough, and now with a near death experience she had finally been pushed over her own edge. His words attempted to soothe her, to bring her back from the darkness she had entered. Dakota had become a small beacon of hope, of light for her but right now...her view was blocked. Hands digging a bit deeper now, she felt her knees buckle once more as the new few words rolled off of her tongue. “Maybe it’s my time...” 

[avianamrtnxo]

elliothclt:

Staying quiet while she talked, because she deserved the courtesy of being listened to if he couldn’t really do anything else to help, he awkwardly chewed on a fingernail of his free hand, just doing his best not to overly worry. It wouldn’t be useful, for either of them, if he vocalized his feelings, but he figured that she probably already knew, even without him saying anything. “I also remember you telling me you weren’t going to freeze to death.” Biting down on the inside of his cheek, he almost immediately regretted saying that. Even when he was trying to be useful, he still managed to be an asshole. That could almost be considered a talent if it didn’t suck so much. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have - I’m sorry.” He let out a deep breath, shaking his head, mentally cursing himself for a moment before he turned his attention back to her, hoping this time he would be useful. Oh, he knew that feeling unfortunately too well, knew what it felt like to close his eyes and think he wasn’t going to wake up. It was…slightly concerning, just how much they had in common. “Hey, hey. But you’re not. You’re here and you’re okay. Trust me, I know how terrifying it is, but try to take some comfort in knowing that you managed to get yourself out of that situation.” Not knowing what he could say or do to make sure this got any better - if there even was anything that he could do. He wasn’t sure if there was, but he figured that could at least just listen. Sometimes that did a world of good. “I know you wanted to help, but you don’t always need to be the hero. Just - is there anything at all that I can do to help? To try and make this a little bit better.”

Aviana became quiet soon after she stopped speaking, the effects of the storm becoming more evident to have hurt her than before. Aviana was good at putting up a front, but when it came to certain people in her life she couldn’t keep it all bottled up forever. Elliot was one of those people, sooner or later she’d crack and spill the beans to him. As he started on speaking, his first comment hadn’t come out the way he wanted to—but she didn’t take too much offense to it. She knew he was just trying to help, and sometimes the first thing said wasn’t always the best. Her hand waving towards him, she dismissed his followed up apology. “No, no it’s fine...I did say that though,” she tried to place a small smile on her features to show him it really was fine even though the smile barely formed. Listening to him again, she nodded her head. He was right, she had gotten out but it wasn’t because of herself...it was because of Noah. If he hadn’t found her she would still be on the cold floor unsure of when she was going to be saved. Hero..that word kind of stuck to her a bit as she thought about how to answer him. She knew she didn’t have to always be the hero but she wanted to be, she felt that maybe that was her purpose here on this earth now since she was alone. “Just...come back and stay with me. I need the company...I need you.”

[avianamrtnxo]

Tired, Aviana was so tired. With further inspection of her ankle she had found that it wasn’t actually sprained—it was fractured in three places. Against her will she brought a doctor over and they helped figure out how she was gong to fix it, promising to give treatment outside of a hospital if they could. A week had gone by and her ankle along with most of the lower portion of her leg was in a cast. Her lower half covered by blankets, the burgundy-haired girl laid there sleeping—though a sound woke her slightly. “I don’t wanna get up..” said absentmindedly.

[avianamrtnxo]

derrekhunter:

“Hypothetically speaking —-” He began, probably more then aware of the answer already. If he knew his children, at all, he knew this answer. But he really only cared to ease his mind of those chances, by taking a poll. “If you have a date, say with the "Hottest guy” —“ He paused, giving a small shrug, and tilt of his head, ”— or girl. Whatever your preference happens to be, and you spent a couple of hours getting ready for this super hot date—“ He couldn’t suppress the eye roll that followed, "but then this date comes to your door, but you’re still not ready. Therefore, your father answers, and he immediately decides that he doesn’t like him. Therefore, might have or might not have threaten to put said date six feet under if he ever came near you again. Ruining the date, and over all what you claim was your "social status”— how long would it take for you to forget and forgive?“

Aviana listened to him as he spoke and a small smile started to creep up onto her lips. She knew full well this meant he had done this to one of his children and now he wanted to see how long it would be before they spoke to him again. As he spoke, she wondered if she would have ever had that same problem with her dad, if he had threatened a date of hers at all in her life and made her hate him for a few small moments. Then again, she could never really hate him. “Well, I would say maybe a week. Social status means a lot to kids and if you’re on the lowest totem pole then your life is hell.”

[avianamrtnxo]

charlotte-belrose:

Charlotte had been back in Atlanta for six months and she still had barely anything in her apartment. Maybe it was because she did not want to be there as she had told herself she was going to do something different with her life. Or maybe it was because she was too busy working her dream job to care. But with the long weekend, she finally decided to go out and get things to fill her apartment as she realized this was not temporary and this was what she wanted despite the job being back in Atlanta. However, as she was walking back with her hands, she was not paying that much attention which caused her to bump into someone “I’m sorry,” she said looking up at the other with an apologetic smile.“I need to pay better attention to where I am walking. I am an absolute klutz " 

Aviana had just been walking out of the hotel she had been staying in, feeling like she needed some fresh air after keeping herself cooped up inside forever it seemed. As she took a step out onto the sidewalk she instantly got bumped into to and it sent her back a step or two—her ankle only partially healed after she realized it was more than just a sprain. “Fuck,” she said under her breath before waving a hand at the other girl. “No, no it’s okay—don’t worry about it.”