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@avianarose-blog
I WANT MUCH MORE THAN THIS PROVINCIAL LIFE. I WANT ADVENTURE IN THE GREAT, WIDE SOMEWHERE. I WANT IT MORE THAN I CAN TELL. AND FOR ONCE IT MIGHT BE GRAND, TO HAVE SOMEONE UNDERSTAND; I WANT SO MUCH MORE THAN THEY’VE GOT PLANNED.
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❝ tyger tyger burning bright / in the forests of the night; / what immortal hand or eye, / could frame thy fearful symmetry? ❞ —– HOW COULD A GOD WHO MADE ALL ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL STUFF IN THE WORLD ALSO MAKE THINGS THAT ARE SCARY AND EVIL?
❝ tyger tyger burning bright / in the forests of the night; / what immortal hand or eye, / could frame thy fearful symmetry? ❞ —–HOW COULD A GOD WHO MADE ALL ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL STUFF IN THE WORLD ALSO MAKE THINGS THAT ARE SCARY AND EVIL?
I am terrified by this dark thing That sleeps in me ; All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.
Sylvia Plath, excerpt of Elm (via henrydear)
&&. ok so um this is a small psa about something i’m a little uncomfortable with in my life right now and i just need to share it quickly so maybe people are a little aware. a few people already know and have sent sweet messages ( which i will reply to or publish i promise and i really REALLY appreciate them tbh they make me smile to see him being recognised and loved by you all ) but it’s just a difficult time for me. my little brother died at the age of four when i was seven years old. it’s nearing the anniversary of his death and i’m the one remaining family member who still recognises this day and i try to celebrate his life, no matter how short, and remember him. my parent’s solution was to act as if it never happened, which, although understandably is their way, is something i can’t do. but it does mean that this is a huge time of sadness and grief for me. he was so young and it’s so unfair. i love to talk about my brother and to think about him, but i also find some of the musings and things about grief and loss, or anger and religion that i see on my dash triggering and upsetting. i know i can’t really ask people to tag them, and there’s nothing i can do or say – and they’re not terrible things or anything, just upsetting to me. so my activity may be very patchy. i’ll probably come on to do some drafts and to distract myself and talk to people. but i hope you can all understand that this is a very upsetting time for me and i try to stay as positive as possible and just love him a lot, like i always do, but sometimes it is difficult. if you would like to me tag anything about this in a certain way, or anything i post over the next week or so, please let me know. i appreciate all of your kindness and THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND LOVE.
whycantibetherealme:
Do you ever just need to be touched? Not even in a sexual way, just touched. A hug, a pat on the back, a squeeze of your hand. Just fucking anything to make you feel like you’re still real.
❝ … and when you look at the sky you know you are looking at STARS which are hundreds and thousands of light-years away from you. and some of the stars don’t even exist anymore because their light has taken so long to get to us that they are already dead, or they have EXPLODED and collapsed into red dwarfs. and that makes you seem very small, and if you have difficult things in you life it is nice to think that they are what is called negligible, which means they are so small YOU don’t have to take them into account when you are calculating something. ❞ – mark haddon ( x )
&&. ok so um this is a small psa about something i’m a little uncomfortable with in my life right now and i just need to share it quickly so maybe people are a little aware. a few people already know and have sent sweet messages ( which i will reply to or publish i promise and i really REALLY appreciate them tbh they make me smile to see him being recognised and loved by you all ) but it’s just a difficult time for me. my little brother died at the age of four when i was seven years old. it’s nearing the anniversary of his death and i’m the one remaining family member who still recognises this day and i try to celebrate his life, no matter how short, and remember him. my parent’s solution was to act as if it never happened, which, although understandably is their way, is something i can’t do. but it does mean that this is a huge time of sadness and grief for me. he was so young and it’s so unfair. i love to talk about my brother and to think about him, but i also find some of the musings and things about grief and loss, or anger and religion that i see on my dash triggering and upsetting. i know i can’t really ask people to tag them, and there’s nothing i can do or say – and they’re not terrible things or anything, just upsetting to me. so my activity may be very patchy. i’ll probably come on to do some drafts and to distract myself and talk to people. but i hope you can all understand that this is a very upsetting time for me and i try to stay as positive as possible and just love him a lot, like i always do, but sometimes it is difficult. if you would like to me tag anything about this in a certain way, or anything i post over the next week or so, please let me know. i appreciate all of your kindness and THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND LOVE.
❝ ----- i ain’t got much money myself, ‘else NOTHING would bring me greater joy than to BUY you a soda. you gunna get me one? ❞
❪ @avianarose. ❫
❛ fancy buyin’ me a soda? your choice. ❜
❝ ----- i ain’t got much money myself, ‘else NOTHING would bring me greater joy than to BUY you a soda. you gunna get me one? ❞
&&. just lowkey i’m always down for muses becoming an integrated part of aviana’s back story ?? either as a foster parent, or someone she knew who was incredibly close to her. i’m just always to awkward to ask but tbh a life-long platonic friend or a foster parent plot would be amazing ??
that gives cause for brienne to shut her mouth, && she does, to mull the answer over in her mind. quiet pieces like the whispering of glass shards play in her mind, GRATING until she looks away from the girl towards something more interesting —- the carving edge of a lamppost with its face replete with fliers: missing animal here, advertisements for leases there, another bit of anonymous tips, graffiti-spray front to drown the rest of them. poor girl with no place to girl. she herself has never suffered such an awful fate before, cannot imagine the circumstances. of course she’s slept in different places, on occasion hopping from one place to another, but it had been merely for her work, not for reasons a girl her age might have. though her first thought is for sympathy, the next is a question, though that former tap has LESSENED the edges of her voice.
“ … i’m not on duty right now. ” a purse of thick lips, the faintest smile pushed from a chin too small. nothing bad, simply contemplative. “ && you were thinking of staying here? ”
❝ ----- ‘on duty’? you’re a COP? -- figures. ❞ it wasn’t a dislike exactly, as much as a distrust. painted as protectors, she was a little girl who had never been saved; how could she ever trust those who promised their service to those who REMAINED neglected? but then, who could save the children with no voices allowed to scream out?
❝ ---- i guess so; it’s better than the centre. there are too many people, not enough SHOP doors. ❞ it’s a dry laugh, lacking in humour; what was funny about this situation? she braced herself for an onslaught; why would an intelligent ( GENIUS ) young girl condemn herself this way when there was a warm bed offered to her? she’d tried desperately to scratch the images of her past from her mind, to locate a moment where she had been untouched by the trauma, UNBROKEN. was she destined to drag around the past like a discarded placenta? how far back did she have to dig to find herself? how many pieces had she lost along the way? could she find them? could she put them back? how many times do YOU glue a broken vase before you toss it? there was something reassuring about the blank slate of an empty street.
Me, atop a small mountain of unfinished projects, prompts, half-baked ideas, essays, and unanswered asks: I am a Writer
better ideas for chance encounters than a bar or coffee shop:
a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait
we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there
i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after
i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess
our friends that we came here with went off together and now we’re making awkward small talk
i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot
my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out
we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other
my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home
sharing a cab together
you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about
you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you
i tried to get a part time job at this place right by my house but they hired you instead and i have to see you every day when i go there now
blind date!
my roommate is your ex, and your roommate is my ex, and i caught them sleeping together and told you so now we’re pissed off and going on a date to get away from them even though we didnt really know each other before now
