avior

getting bad again

[prettypinksparklesxoxo-deactiva]

I fucking hate nonchalant guys

[aviorxoxo]

I'm such a fucking failure

[aviorxoxo]

i can't fucking do this anymore, ending my shit soon, just need to find a good method, maybe partial hanging, I'll just continue to cut for now to ease the pain

[aviorxoxo]

when I scream "put it in!!" but they don't know I'm talking about the knife

[bl00dyf4llen4ngel]

[aviorxoxo]

i'm so disgusting someone fucking end me

[aviorxoxo]

There is nothing scarier than someone who can see right through you.

[aviorxoxo]

07.03.25

dear diary

today was so shitty, my suicidal thoughts got so much worse. Basically, we have this class concert and we have to play in at least three songs. I was in three songs, but when I went to rehearsals for them, I saw there were so much better guitarists already there and thought it would be best for the band if I didn't participate at all. So I didn't; I got myself off all the songs, but now people are saying I have to be in at least three songs to even get a grade. it just hurts seeing how utterly useless i am in these settings, and you know i really did want to play in those songs but i can't be selfish in these settings, I know it isn't that deep of a problem but with everything building up for a while now it really hit me, and made me realize I am in all ways, completely and utterly useless in every way. god. I wish I had jumped off the roof earlier when I got the time

[aviorxoxo]

How su1c1d3 has been looking at me as of late

[trafficisntlight]

Y'know I was riding on a high for those few days before today. I thought I really got better, but nope I'm back here again. Feeling so unloved and so evil and suicidal. I want to cut myself up again, I will do it tomorrow.

[ironboundwanderer-deactivated20]

[aviorxoxo]

couldn't be anorexic anymore so had to replace the high with actual drugs <3 #cutecore

[cozydiiary]

i love feeling dizzy.

i love getting headaches.

i love feeling sick.

it makes me feel valid.

[aviorxoxo]

soon I'll cease this ringing in my ears, soon I'll be at peace

[aviorxoxo]

my friend was gonna give me some drugs that I could overdose on, but they don't like me anymore so the deal is over (HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO OVERDOSE NOW, someone pls send me opioids plsplspls)

[aviorxoxo]

˚₊‧꒰ა how life feels when you don't get forced to eat ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[aviorxoxo]

What you are craving from food is temporary taste, temporary fullness and satisfaction, is that really what you want? Or is it that bony body small enough to fit into any clothing size, that sickly skinny figure you’ve been craving, yearning, begging for, for god knows how long?

Control yourself. Instead of the taste of food, pop a gum, instead of that temporary fullness drink some water, remember. You’re not hungry, you’re just bored