As terrible as an angel, be afraid

Venus, they/them, Argentine click the X for links English and Spanish ok! links for mobile

[avoidant-venus]

my child, who fell down a cliff 19 years ago and was presumed dead, texted me this

[avoidant-venus]

me: *logs into my account after a thousand years*

this post:

[clickholeofficial]

I Can’t Protect My Son From Everything, But If I Lock Him In The Svalbard Global Seed Vault I’ve Narrowed The Threat Down To Just Seeds

[botanyshitposts]

are lily pads particularly basal to the angiosperms? I'm pretty well up on my metazoan taxonomy but I gotta admit I know next to nothing about plant taxonomy

well, there are actually multiple families basal to all flowering plants; they’re referred to as being ‘ANITA grade’ or ‘ANA grade’, standing for the orders (and i’m gonna link their wikipedia pages here for Strange Plant Enjoyment) Amborellales, Nymphaeales, and Austrobaileyales. the ‘ANITA’ acronym refers to the first three plus the (supposed) order Illiciales and the family Trimeniaceae; their positioning in this is a bit spicy and contested as i take it, though, so i should note that the first three are the major ones, with most of the plants we call ‘lily pads’ resting in the Nymphaeales. 

BUT. fun fact that got me a bit riled up when i first learned about it last month: ‘lily pads’ as a concept have apparently evolved a couple times in flowering plants, so the order Nymphaeales (containing the traditional lily pad family Nymphaeaceae as well as a couple other non-lily pad aquatic plant families) is a basal group, but Nelumbonaceae– the family that consists of the two species of sacred lotus that are out there– is not (instead it belongs to the order Proteales; this was only figured out in the past couple decades with the innovation of molecular research). 

anyway. that aside, yeah, these guys are pretty prehistoric. like idk why i’m so impressed with how innovative ‘hm….leaf float’ as an idea ended up being, but i am; that being said, like, the flowers on these are one of those plant things where upon further inspection it’s like…….oh man this is definitely a dinosaur plant. like look at this thing

you may be wondering why she is like this. the answer is that she has specially evolved to heat up and open/close in a ploy to trap beetles overnight for Sex Purposes:

like. i cannot believe the guy narrating this video is so calm. like @ national geographic those beetles are in hell and all you people can think about is dubbing it with tranquil spa music 

[botanyshitposts]

weird lemon from @/dabi-hawks on twitter??? what happened here (submitted by @allgreenisgoodgreen)

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ah yes…..the citrons strike again….i can only offer vaguely that it looks like a lemon that started turning into a buddha’s hand citron halfway through. another option would be that the plant got damage/an infection in it’s growing tip, which messed up the hormones, confused it, and made it grow like this (usually referred to as ‘fasciation’ in plants; it usually looks a bit more crest-like when it happens tho). 

[botanyshitposts]

a while back when i first learned about saxifragaceae i came on here and was like ‘haha wow everybody this plant just has everything hanging out!! like put some pants on am i right fellas’ and somebody responded like ‘wait until you see euphorbiaceae’ and internally i was like ‘ohohgsdohoh nothing can top the visceral discomfort of observing a member of saxifragaceae’ and i just want to say i am sorry. i should have listened

[botanyshitposts]

dude seriously stop it lol haha no seriously stoooopp

[botanyshitposts]

mods asleep post ominous hydrangea 

[botanyshitposts]

mods asleep post ominous hydrangea 

[botanyshitposts]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[putrecabra]

just some thoughts i had

[garinthalis]

I was today years old when i found out that i was allowed time off to vote. Something no boss has ever told me.

[p0ssmz]

bedhead

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

[sighingballoon]

#luigi after developing amnesia being interrogated by toads

[botanyshitposts]

fellas…………….

[syngoniums]

Nepenthes reinwardtiana, showing its trademark eyespots inside the pitcher. It's not the only species with this feature, though it's the most obvious to human observers. The spots are simply areas inside the trap where the slippery, waxy lining does not develop. Their function is unclear, but based on their location, they most likely play some role in attracting insects.

[botanyshitposts]

Guess who’s here?! It’s the skunky bois! (Submitted by @leviintheskywithdiamonds)

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[botanyshitposts]

really dissapointed evolution got rid of stigmatic crests in flowers. like seriously feeling cheated. we could have had flowers with full mohawks sticking out but no. got reduced down to the stigma on top of a style...went discrete with the female sex display. plants be like ‘it improved pollen selection’ but we all know the queens were just ahead of their time.....ive had enough

[botanyshitposts]

the flowering plant genus Drimys....only extant flower with good taste

[botanyshitposts]

ok yall know one of my major non-plant interests is viruses and epidemics so naturally i feel compelled to talk about the coronavirus, and things related to the coronavirus (even though it’s….actually a LOT less severe than the stuff i usually research lmao). so anyway

a couple days ago there was a video on twitter of a couple disease control people debunking some coronavirus myths and at the end of it one of them was like ‘if youre interested in more virus stuff like this, you might want to check out promedmail.org’ and it turns out it’s just a reporting service run by the international society of infectious diseases that gets phoned in/submissions about outbreaks and stuff all over the world, and they track a ton of stuff and send out email updates, so naturally i signed up. it’s kind of like, raw scientific data reporting the coronavirus and lassa fever and all those things, including ongoing investigations and stuff (which may result in dead ends– it’s like watching the science as it happens instead of just seeing the results, which is important to keep in mind), but what i wasn’t expecting was that they also report like, extremely niche outbreaks of things i have never heard of, which is how i received this email

again. not what i was expecting but i am not going to complain. also, you can sign up to get emails about plant disease outbreaks too, which is pretty awesome.

[jackalkate]

Equine herpes viruses are extremely contagious and can massive impacts on horse health and human industry. Many states require that diagnosis of the disease (specifically EHV-1) be reported to the government so proper quarantine and control procedures can be implemented. So in fact a potentially very important disease to be notified of (if you work in the public health sphere)! It’s a BIG DEAL 🐎

[botanyshitposts]

me when the promedmail website notifies me about the equine herpes virus: herpes? in horses? what an intriguing message with no possible implications

me when the promedmail website notifies me, a plant person, that citrus greening disease spread to el salvador: