[avbpd-muffin]

Quick question while on my break: do you think bpd and personality disorders in general could be called disabilities? I genuinely often feel so useless and unable to do shit (hence why I reduced my work hours) and it genuinely feels like a disability. If it provides better context, I do have depression, anxiety, bpd and avpd. Like at what point am I considered disabled? Cause I feel like I'm failing to do basic things most days but I'd feel like an impostor calling myself disabled.

[avpdculture]

AVPD culture is nuking every blog and social media you’ve ever had every few months after you start interacting with people in ways, people can percieve you at any moment, and it all becomes too much.

Doing the same with your personal history and friendships too, until you have nothing, you dont know what you are anymore, only that you hate yourself and the person you were in the past and the person you are in the present. Mmmm. Is that normal guys are we feeling it or is it just me.

~

[avpd-pain]

forgot to say it but

🌈Happy Pride Month to everyone! 🏳️‍🌈

some of us are also a part of the LGBTQIA+ community including me. I don't talk about it on this blog but having a queer identity and also having any kind of mental disorder or PD at the same time can be challenging. sometimes it can mean fitting into negative stereotypes made about your group. but we are still valid and we deserve to feel like we belong somewhere

[goth-queen]

[avpd-pain]

I get jealous seeing people with other disorders/conditions manage to create big supportive communities for themselves.

I'm tired of us being so invisible and forgotten but at the same time.. I'm very avoidant 🙃 I never share something about myself easily, there's always hundreds of thought processes going on before and after.. "is this gonna make me look bad?" "will people laugh at me?" "am I saying something very stupid?" "they probably hate me/think I'm annoying" and then.. "I should just delete everything (or stop talking to someone so they forget I exist)"

Irl I avoid going to same places repeatedly too many times so I'm not remembered. Even when I had a good experience with someone 😒 I get anxiety thinking that I'm known and can be judged

I have horrible social skills as well on top of that. I literally don't know how to maintain conversations without just talking about what I think about this and that. And I'm aware how it's bad (contrary to others who no one likes but they don't care).

[avpd-pain]

I'm too depressed and anhedonic to even update this blog anymore 😭

[vvolfwood]

i’ve heard people bring up “avoidant attachment style” before in passing but would always avoid the topic and not look anything about it up because i always just assumed it was some new excuse to be ableist towards people with AvPD

i finally just looked it up and i was right and EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND

FUCK YOU AND YOUR ABLEIST BULLSHIT YOU POS GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL

[vvolfwood]

adding to this now that i’ve been calm for a while and i’ve thought of it, the “Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style” also incredibly ableist towards people with StPD and SzPD, as opposed to the “Fearful Avoidant” that’s ableist towards people with AvPD. I saw a couple posts from people who (not armchair diagnosing, but) describe having symptoms of StPD/SzPD and struggling with relationships because of it and there was a disgusting amount of people calling them toxic and abusive, implying they act like that on purpose, and to never try and form relationships. I also read about “Anxious Attachment Style” and without looking at threads discussing it (for my own sanity) i just know they are being grossly ableist towards people with BPD and DPD. Genuinely, fuck all of you who think that way. This is just yet another tiktok pop psychology term for “personality disorder abuse” and honestly i feel like not enough people are talking about this.

[avpdculture]

(AvPD culture is having the coolest flag 😎😜)

~

[effinbirds]

[anxietyproblem]

[insidestory1]

Healthy people will never understand what a massive achievement it is to do your laundry AND cook yourself a meal in one day.

[szpdtenshi]

Sometimes i kinda wish i was passionate about something, anything, instead everything i end up liking is always to a shallow and fleeting level

[veryluckyclovers]

[avpd-pain]

I hate how many parents don't take responsibility for their shit parenting and choices. My grandmother always complains about my mom, how she's irresponsible, lazy, lost a lot of money (she did... got into huge debts that made us poor). But when I ask her how she raised my mom, she gets annoyed and changes the subject ("we can't control everything")... well no. She didn't have to marry some dirt poor alcoholic and have a child with him, she was educated, he was not. She was shocked at how poor he lived... Why marry him? And of course his family had shitty genetics too... Even when they managed to get out of poverty it all went to nothing, they lost everything. She regretted marrying him later but why even do that in the first place? And so my mom was poorly raised and then she poorly raised me as well, also picking some crap man to marry. She was never meant to be a mother, she didn't have any qualities required for it. Having a child is a HUGE responsibility. You can't just pop one out and expect them to grow like weed. Maybe some other animals work like that but not humans. Our psyche is too complex and can get damaged easily by poor parenting.

It's a circle of misery. Generational trauma and misery is real, I'm sure of it.

[important-cat-pics]

[avpd-pain]

I have a lot of strong opinions on stuff and unfortunately that means that I can almost never see anyone who shares most of them. Even if we agree on something, that same person has other views that are completely repugnant to me. I wish I was like most people, just think like a hivemind and don't question anything too much (this goes for any political side, my opinions tend to piss all sorts of people off because I don't think in those categories, for me it's whether something is right or wrong in my eyes, not whether some social group approves of my opinion). I'm also a bit of a contrarian, if something is pushed on me aggressively the more I question it and reject it because I see it as controlling.

[nervousinpurgatory]

i can’t believe anyone actually has any drive for life . . the idea that a person is naturally born with ambition and motivation is so confusing to me . i don’t want to do anything .

in my life all i’ve thought about is what’s easiest and needs the least amount of effort to do . i don’t have any passions or talents . i don’t want a job or an education , i just want to be taken care of forever .