mental illness blog @avpdcalliope - Tumblr Blog

an-actual-real-live-eevee

anyway I’m a toxic and unsafe person and no one should be around me

#q

erased 2/7/17

I was asking for it, wasn’t I?

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stray--wolf

my mental state is n̨̥̭̞̟̼o̱̬̫̘̟̜̪͞t̡̯͙͈̗͕̙ g̖̭̳̳̬̟͠e̷̟̝̩̝̥̲͠t͕̩̟̬͇́́͜ț̠ͅi̬̦̠͙n͏̴̦̻͙̳̬̙g̢̝̗͍̗͈̹͓̻̟͘͞ b̡̨̫͚̦̀̀͡é̴̺̬͇͈͔͚͓̙̱͎͝͠t̡͎̘͇̣̲́̀t̛̥̰̫̦ȩ̨̤͉̞̻̳̩̖̰̬͘͟͝ͅr̴̡̤̰̦͇̜̲̗̯͍̤̪͚̹͉̣̝̕͡.̩̳̪̠̙̟̞̺͉̻͇̪̯̻̰̀̀͞͠͞.̢͚͎̦̦̘͘͜͞.̡̦̜͙͓̯̻̫͓̬͚̖̦̞̮̲̀͢͡

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peachbloods

more venting from a couple weeks ago…

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actualbpd

real big trauma mood is crying for 5 minutes once every six months and then going back to repressing every emotion

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liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011

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foxfamilyfeatures-blog

something about paranoia

i don’t know

the thing that kinda bothers me is that i dont relate to all the childhood trauma posts and stuff? mainly because, a lot of the stuff that happened, at the time, i didnt register in my brain as traumatic ya kno? like, a lot of the stuff i repressed and then i rememebered recently, but i didnt affect me at the time. maybe bc i was a kid idk. i didnt kno better, like, i knew that something was off but i didnt rly know or understand so i never rly made a big deal abt it. but now looking back at it i realized how messed up it was. everything. the physical/emotional abuse, the grroming, the sexual assault(s), like i now realize how it rly affected me. so i cant relate to all these posts abt how these kids knew abt it as it was happening bc i didnt kno. it makes me feel, bad? abt myself. like, idk.

#cal.txt #q