-ˋˏ✄┈ welcome to my page,, feel free to look around! ┈
MNDI! lots of my work is NSFW. please do not read if under 18 — if you choose to, read at your own risk.
these are works of fiction and do not depict any accurate representation of any members of enhypen. if you are uncomfortable with any of my work, please do not read.
📁 ARCHIVES | old works can be found here!
⊹ ࣪ ˖ sports car | f1 driver jay, smut
↳ hotel lobby | part two, smut
↳ E85 | part three, smut
─── i like the way you fuck me when you miss me, girl ⋆˚꩜｡
OR you and sunghoon promised no contact after the breakup, but you couldn't help and text him.
pairing: ex-boyfriend!sunghoon x f!reader
content+warnings: not proofread, angst, smut, literal porn with plot, oral (both recieving), unprotected p in v (wrap before you tap!), nipple play, fingering, cum eating - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 4.5k / 4,543
bea speaks! sunghoon has lowkey been taking over my mind lately... send help!!!!!!
.𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑
"YOU HAVE TO PROMISE YOU WON'T REACH OUT," Sunghoon grunts between thrusts as you moan underneath him. His movements become more intense as he reaches out to grab your hair, pulling it gently.
"And you have to promise not to fucking cry every time you see me."
He slams deeper, a low groan escaping his throat as your walls clench around him.
"Say it," he mutters, his breath hitting your lips. "Promise you won't—"
You feel your orgasm wash over you when he bites your collarbone, leaving a dark mark. Sunghoon hitches, his jaw tightening as you clench harder, milking him dry of whatever you could have before he walks out the door.
Ever since that day, you hadn't thought about texting him, but that didn't mean you didn't think about him. You missed the way you'd wake up next to him every morning, and the way that he'd kiss you goodbye every time you left the house. You missed the way he would run to find you after a long day of work.
You missed him.
You stare at the chat thread you haven't touched in too long. Long enough that it should feel like a closed door, one that you shouldn't open again.
Your thumb hovers over the keyboard, then pulls back. You lock your phone. Unlock it. Lock it. If you repeated the motion enough times, the feeling will either pass or make sense, but it does neither.
Because it's not really about texting him. It never is.
You tell yourself you're just curious. Just checking. Just proving yourself you're over it. He probably has you blocked by now because you couldn't get yourself to do it. So, when you send him a simple "hi" and it goes through, you felt a rush of nervousness jolt through you.
You stare at it immediately after sending it, like you can still take it back if you look hard enough. The seconds after feel louder than they should. Three dots appear, then disappear as quick as it came.
Sunghoon [8:34 PM]: Hey
Sunghoon [8:34 PM]: How are you?
Short and simple. Just how it should be. But something about it felt so familiar, and somehow that makes it worse.
You don't know what to say at first. There are a hundred better answers than the truth sitting in your throat, but your brain can't pick any of them. You go with the easiest lie.
You [8:36 PM]: I'm fine
It sends before you can second-guess it, but that was easier than leaving him on read for any longer. Again, he replies immediately.
Sunghoon [8:36 PM]: You always say that when you're not.
Your chest tightens instantly because of course he remembers that. Of course he still knows you in that annoying, precise way that makes lying feel pointless.
You [8:37 PM]: I am
Sunghoon reads the message, and you watch as the three dots appear and disappear for what seems like the nth time. You typed out "I just wanted to hear from you," but deleted it instantly. And then, without meaning to, it lands in the only form your honestly knows how to take.
You [8:39 PM]: I miss you
The message sits there for less than a second before your stomach drops. It feels like you had just thrown yourself out there and there's no guarantee you'll land safely.
You [8:40 PM]: Come over?
Sunghoon [8:40 PM]: On my way
A few minutes later, two knocks echoed against your door. The familiar pattern made your chest feel hollow. You didn't know if you were ready to see him again despite already opening the door.
Seeing him again hits you like a physical force. He looks tired, but still handsome in the hoodie you got him and messy hair. He stands there awkwardly before stepping inside without invitation, because he never needed one before.
The door clicks shut behind him and suddenly the space between you feels charged. Neither of you move, just staring at each other like strangers who now too much. His eyes trace over your face, remembering things he told himself not to remember.
"We said no contact," he finally says, voice low, but he doesn't turn to leave. "And here you are."
You step closer to him, close enough that you can smell his cologne. It was the same one he always wore, and it made your heart pound.
"I know," you whisper. "I broke the rules."
His jaw tightens, and his eyes narrow with that look of annoyance mixed with something softer crossing his face. he always had that away of looking at you. He steps closer to you, chests barely touching.
"'Cause you missed me?"
He asked the question like it's a challenge, hoping that you'd like. His breath is warm against your face, and you can feel the way he's trying to get back into your bubble again.
You sighed. "You missed me too."
Sunghoon's expression flickered, the wall he built cracking for just a second. He looks away first, and it's the smallest surrender he'd made.
"That doesn't mean you should've texted. We agreed—"
You grabbed onto his hoodie, pulling him in. The moment your lips touch, everything dissolves. The breakup, the agreement, the weeks of total silence.
He freezes for a split second, shocked by the sudden contact, before his hands fly to your wait to pull you flush against him. The kiss is desperate and messy, tasting like months of suppressed longing.
Sunghoon breaks the kiss abruptly, panting heavily. Your hands are still gripping onto his hoodie tightly as if he would disappear if you let go.
"Fuck," he mutters under his breath, forehead falling against yours. "We can't do this."
"Why?" you practically whined. "You found someone new?"
His grip on your waist tightens, almost possessive.
"No." The word comes out sharp and defensive. His breath is still ragged against your lips as his finger hooks under your chin. "I'd never."
He presses his lips to yours again, this time slower, as if he was making up for the time he lost. You two never knew how to half-ass anything, and you knew that a part of you would regret inviting him over tonight. Yet, you didn't let go of him, only allowing him to lead you through your place like he owns it.
Sunghoon walks you backwards until you hit the wall, his mouth never leaving yours. He kicks the door to your room open without breaking the kiss, pulling you inside and toward the bed.
He pulls you onto his lap, his hands immediately going to your hoodie and pulling it off. His lips find your neck, sucking hard as he marks you—something he used to do all the time. You quietly moan as his hands roam over your body like he's trying to memorize each curve againn.
You tried to kiss him again, but he lifts you effortlessly, tossing you onto the mattress and crawling over you before you can process it. His hands are everywhere all at once and it seems as if he was the one who missed you.
Sunghoon starts pushing up your shirt and dragging down your sweatpants within seconds, touching you with familiarity that hurts.
"Promise I haven't touched anyone else," he breathes against your collarbone, the words muffled by his teeth grazing your skin. He looks up at you, pausing his mouth against your stomach when you arch up into him with your hands tangled in his hair. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear.
"I tried to date other people..."
You whimpered when he starts trailing his kisses lower.
"But I kept comparing them to you and felt guilty."
Something about the way he admitted it without having to be questioned makes you wonder if he truly misses you. Did he come over because you said so, or because he wanted to from the start?
The tug of your underwear knocks you out of your thoughts. He drags them down your legs and discards them onto the floor, settling between your thighs like he never left. His eyes are dark and focused entirely on you.
"I missed every inch of you," he whispered, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to your inner thigh. "Especially this part."
Your thighs trembled at the sudden confession mixed with the way he smirks against your skin as he waits for your reaction. His hands spread your legs wider as he presses open-mouthed kisses up your thigh, purposely missing your core.
He's teasing you intentionally, punishing you for inviting him over. "You missed me too, huh?"
You nod, lips parting to respond, only to be left with a moan escaping your throat as he licks a long stripe up your folds. He takes his time licking and kissing a long your slit without touching your clit directly. Sunghoon knows exactly what you like—love—and he's using it against you.
"Sunghoon, don't tease," you whimper, eyes barely open.
After your break-up, you hadn't been touched and if you were going to, it had to only be by your ex-boyfriend. It was embarrassing to think about, but he's the only one who knows you.
He chuckles darkly, the vibration sending shocks through your sensitive area. He lifts his head up, watching the way your head falls back when his thumb gently rubs your clit. You shudder at his touch, already feeling yourself reach your high.
Of course Sunghoon knows that look on your face; the way your body reacts when you're about to orgasm. The way your back arches off the bed, the way your legs start to tremble. He pulls back and leaves a firm kiss to your thigh.
"Not yet," he murmurs, standing up and starting to undress. "I want you to prove to me how much you miss me."
You lift yourself up to rest on your elbows to watch him as he lifts his hoodie over his head, shrugging it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor and revealing his toned upper body. "You can show me, right?"
Something in the way that he doesn't believe you makes you more turned on. You watch as Sunghoon lays on the bed, resting himself against the headboard waiting for you.
You crawl over, resting between his legs and start at his waistband. His hands stay at his sides, letting you take the lead. The fabric of his sweatpants is thin, barely hiding the length and thickness of him already hard. He shifts, giving you better access.
Sunghoon was getting impatient, but he didn't let that stop you. He watches as you gently kiss his clothed dick, never breaking eye contact. His eyes flutter closed briefly at the soft kiss, a low groan escaping him. The head of his cock throbs against the fabric, begging to be freed.
He stays still and let you set the pace even though every instinct is screaming at him to thrust up into your touch. You kiss down the length of his clothed cock, each peck deliberate and soft. You can feel him twitching and his breathing becoming more ragged.
When you reach the base, you hook your fingers into the waistband and look up at him, silently asking for permission to continue. The slight nod gave you the green light.
You drag his pants down, discarding them as his cock is finally free. The tip is already red and leaking, twitching every time your fingers gently graze against it.
The second your warm mouth touches his bare skin, he hisses in pleasure and his hands grip the sheets. You start with soft kisses along his shaft like you did through the fabric, driving him absolutely insane. He's never been so turned on from something so gentle.
"I missed you so much, Sunghoon..." you moaned against his cock. His entire body tenses at your words, his hips slightly jerking. The sound of your voice vibrating against his sensitive skin is almost too much to bear. He wants to grab your head and fuck into your mouth, but he holds back.
You wrap your warm lips around his tip, tasting the sweetness of his precum. His head falls back against the backboard, mouth falling open in a silent moan.
"Shit, baby..."
Your mouth feels like heaven after six months of nothing but his hand. You're being so gentle, treating his cock like something precious instead of something to fuck into.
And he was going to fuck you.
Sunghoon didn't want to cum in your mouth, so instead, he pulls you off his cock. His chest heaves violently, his control complete shattered at the view: the string of saliva connecting your swollen mouth to his leaking tip is erotic enough to make him lose his mind.
He grips your jaw firmly, thumb brushing over your wet bottom lip.
"I said prove it," he rasps, voice dangerously low. "Not make me fall in love with you all over again."
Despite his words, he grabs your arms and pull you up his body. He crashes his mouth against yours, kissing you deeply and desperately before you could protest. He can taste himself on your lips and it drives him wild.
Your moans filled the room as you start to grind against his cock, sliding it between your folds. His hands roam your back, pulling you flush against his chest as you flips you over, settling between your thighs.
He continues to slide his member through your folds, collecting your juices and mixing them with his. He grinds slowly, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance but doesn't push in.
Sunghoon teases you again, but this time it's different. He's taking in every inch of contact before either of you walks away again.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he quietly moans, loving the way your warm juices are dripping onto his balls. You watched as he slowly thrusts in, the thickness of his cock already too much.
Sunghoon watches you intently as your lips park, eyes half-lidded when he thrusts in further. He told himself that he'd savor the expression of pure pleasure on your face as he slowly pushes in inch by inch.
The tightness of your pussy wrapping around his cock is almost too much to handle. "You take me so good."
Your thighs twitch when he fully bottoms out. The feeling was so familiar, yet so new.
He leans down, kissing you, tongue sliding against yours in rhythm with his slow, deep thrusts. He's fucking you like he's making love—like he's trying to convey all the emotions he's been holding back for the past six months.
"W—we shouldn't be doing this," you breathe out in between moans, hands gripping onto his back as he leaves hot kisses against your neck.
Sunghoon knows this is a bad idea. He knows that this will only make it harder to really reach no contact, but he can't stop. "This is the last time, I swear."
You whimper as he thrusts harder, nodding despite knowing this wasn't going to be the last time. He angles his hips to hit your sweet spot, feeling you clench around him.
As your pussy clenches around him, milking his orgasm from him, he buries his face in your neck and bites down gently to muffle his own moans. Hit hot cum fills you up, marking you as his again, even if it was just for tonight
Three nights passed. You spent all three convincing yourself that what happened was closure. It was a mistake that neither of you will repeat.
Then your phone lights up.
Sunghoon [5:15 PM]: I need your help with something. Come over?
You stare at the message, heart hammering against your ribs. His name popping up on your screen again feels like a punch to the gut. You want to ignore and pretend it never happened, but your thumbs move faster than your brain.
You [5:16 PM]: Sure. Be there in ten?
He doesn't need to respond for you to know what the answer is. Instead, you get a pin drop location of his new place.
The door opens before you even get the chance to second-guess yourself. Sunghoon stands there, framed by the lighting of his apartment, hair slighlty messy just like the other night. He doesn't smile, but doesn't look surprised either.
Sunghoon steps aside to let you in, and you couldn't help but observe the way his new place was set up almost the same way as yours when you still lived together.
"So," you say after a moment, trying to break the silence, "what did you need help with?"
He glances at you briefly, then looks away as he scratches his neck.
"Nothing, really."
That lands wrong, making you turn slightly. "What?"
The silence was deafening, but long enough for Sunghoon to let the truth slip out. "I just said that so you'd come."
The honesty of it hits harder than anything else so far. There was no defense in it, and he didn't look guilty either. And for you, you didn't hesitate to even think about coming over.
"You could've just asked," you say quietly. He lets out a short breath almost like a laugh but there's no real humor to it.
"And say what?" he asks. "That I wanted to see you?"
"I mean, yeah—"
You immediately feel his lips on yours as he cuts you off, hands flying to grip his arms. His hands cups your face, pulling you close as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. It wasn't sweet or gentle, but it was raw and hungry.
Then, you come to your senses. You push against his chest, breaking the kiss. Sunghoon stumbles back, chest heaving, looking shocked by what he did. Your lips are swollen, eyes wide.
The silence is heavy with realization.
"Sunghoon, we promised that the other night was the last time."
"I know," he cuts you off, voice low and rough. "I fucking know, okay? I know we promised no contact, no more of that stuff but..."
He runs his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. You take a step closer and he freezes as you step into his space. His eyes search yours, wild and desperate, silently begging you to make the first move.
For a moment, neither of you moves. The air feels too thick and that should've been the moment you brush past him and leave.
Sunghoon stares at you for what feels like forever. At your eyes. At your lips. Then back to your eyes again.
You take a step forward to leave, but he's already moving and pulls you back into him. His hand slides around the back of your neck as he pulls you into him, mouth crashing against yours again with all the deserpation he's been trying to bury.
A small sound escapes you before you can stop it, fingers instantly holding onto his sides. He makes a rough noise against your mouth like he's trying to learn how to breathe again by kissing you.
Your back bumps against the wall and he cages you there, the scent of him finally hitting you. His hands tighten on your waist as he deepens the kiss, your tongues colliding in one motion.
His hips roll forward, grinding his growing erection against your stomach. He pulls back just enough to speak against your lips.
"Fuck it."
He kisses you again roughly, this time biting your bottom lip hard enough to leave you whimpering. His hands start roaming your body possessively, the warmth of his hand leaving you shivering. Your knees started to buckle the moment his hand reaches under your shirt, squeezing your breasts through your bra.
The moan that elicits from you makes him groan deeply as he pulls back just enough to yank your shirt off, tossing it aside before attacking your neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses. His hands work quickly to unhook your bra, pushing it down your arms.
Sunghoon wastes no time in dipping his head to take your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive peaks while his hand roughly palms your other breast.
The sensation is overwhelming, causing your head to fall back against the wall with a thud. He sucks harshly, marking you, teeth grazing your skin.
"I miss you every single fucking day," he muttered against your chest, giving your nipple one last suck and releasing with a pop sound. His hands move down to your hips, grabbing the waistband of your pants and tugging them sharply. "And I hate it."
He kneels down, his large hands gripping your thighs as he looks up at you, eyes dark with desire and something else. You run your fingers through his hair, chest heaving as he leaves a gentle kiss to your hips. It was dangerous, but you craved it.
Sunghoon hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, slowing pulling them down your legs. He guides your legs apart, placing one over his shoulder to give him better access. Without any warning, he leans in and flattens his tongue against you, licking a slow strip up your core.
"I still remember exactly what you like."
You moan when his nose nudges against your clit as he spreads your legs wider. His tongue finds your entrance, sliding inside with a deep, wet thrust that steals your breath.
Your hand comes to cover your mouth as it came to your senses that he was eating you like a starved man by the front door. He continues to eat you like he's been dreaming about this for months. His nose presses against your clit with every move, giving you the perfect amount of pleasure.
He spreads your legs wider, his tongue moving faster and more insistent. He can feel you starting to unravel as your thighs tremble around his head and your moans start to become ragged. His free hand slides up to pinch and roll your nipple between his fingers, applying the right amount of pressure.
Your loud moan tells him he's doing it right. He doubles his effort, his tongue flicking up inside you then swirling around your clit. He adds two fingers, curling them as your back arches off the wall.
"Sunghoon, stop," you whimper, feeling your orgasm slowly reach you. If he made you finish, you knew you wouldn't be able to leave no matter how much you wanted him to make you reach euphoria.
He ignores your warning, his fingers and tongue working to drive you wild. He remembers how sensitive you are, how easy it is to make you come with just his mouth. He adds a third finger, pumping roughly, hitting that spot over and over again.
You arch hard against the wall, your hands flying to his hair as your orgasm crashes through you. Sunghoon doesn't let up, swallowing every sound and vibration as your thighs shake around his face, keeping his fingers deep inside you.
When your legs start to give out, he stands slowly as he presses his fingers to your lips, sticky and wet with your own arousal. His pupils blow wide when he watches you wrap your lips around his fingers and clean them off with your tongue without asking.
He captures your lips in a gentle kiss, the contrast to earlier roughness making your heart flutter. His tongue slides into your mouth, letting you taste yourself on his tongue again. He pulls back slighty, his thumb caressing your cheek.
"Next time, don't reply."
You would be a fool to think you were going to forget Sunghoon overnight. When he texts two weeks later, you don't even bother pretending to hesitate.
It's supposed to be simple. Dinner. Nothing more.
Just two people sharing a meal like they used to, and maybe Sunghoon would finally give you the closure you need. Instead, he would reach across the table to wipe a smear of sauce from the corner of your mouth without thinking. Your heart stutters at the intimacy of it.
You both tried to keep your hands to yourself during dinner, but it felt too comfortable. It reminds you of when you would go on dates every week and share a meal together. This wasn't closure.
The drive back is quiet. When Sunghoon parks, neither of you moves and you don't get out immediately. For a moment, he just looks at you before turning the key so the engine cuts off.
He sits there, his arm resting along the center console, fingers dangerously close to yours. You knew it would've been easier if you just opened the door and left, but you turn around to face him.
"Thanks for dinner," you start quietly, "see you around."
The first mistake was thanking him for dinner. The second mistake was accidentally giving him a quick kiss goodbye. He swallows hard as your lips briefly brush against his, the innocent gesture sending a jolt through him. He watches as your eyes widen as you hurry out of the car.
Before he can stop himself, he's out of the car too. He runs up to you, his hand shooting out to grab your wrist before you could walk away. He pulls you back towards him with a suddenness that makes you stumble, a quiet yelp leaving your lips.
His other hand comes up to grip your hip, keeping you close as he turns you to face him. He doesn't let you pull away. The innocent goodbye kiss hangs heavy between you, destroying whatever pretense of closure you were trying to maintain.
"You're just going to kiss me and then walk away?" he says lowly, his eyes searching yours. "I thought this dinner was supposed to bring you back to me."
Your breath catches at his words. "That's not what this was—"
Sunghoon cuts you off by stepping cloer, eliminating any remaining space between you. "Don't lie to me."
He finally lets go, taking a step back like he didn't believe you.
"You missed me. You wanted me to remember how good it was between us, so tell me... if this wasn't;t about getting me back, then what?"
Your lips parted, trying to answer, but his lips crash against yours in a kiss that steals the breath from your lungs. It's not gentle like your goodbye kiss, it was claiming and possessive like he was truly demanding everything back about what he thought you were trying to give him tonight.
His tongue pushes past your lips, dominating your mouth with familair strokes that has you melting against him. One hand tangles in your hair while the other pulls you flush against him.
But then it hits you. You don't pull away suddenly. You slowly pull away, your hands loosening where they're holding him. The urgency drains out of the moment and Sunghoon notices immediately.
His kiss falters first, then stops immediately when you fully take a step back. You really look at him one last time before turning away and walking inside to your apartment.
When you get inside, your reflection catches in the mirror and you realize you're still wearing his hoodie.
─── i just wanna watch you when you take it off ⋆˚꩜｡
OR when jake's friend gets a little too comfortable flirting with you, he tries to keep his cool. but he makes one thing painfully clear: only he gets to prove just how good you are to him.
pairing: boyfriend!jake x f!reader
content+warnings: not proofread, smut, possessive jake, jealousy/angry sex mhmm, unprotected p in v (don't do it!), nipple play, dry humping, implied voyeurism, fingering, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, overstimulation - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 3.2k / 3,239
bea speaks! im not sure how i feel about this but just wanted to post this as a filler lol
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
THE RESTAURANT WAS LOUD in a comfortable kind of way. Your table was filled with overlapping conversations, clinking glasses, and occasional bursts of laughters that made people turn their heads.
Jake sat beside you relaxed in a way only he could be. His arm draped lazily over the back of your chair, fingers brushing the bare skin of your shoulder every so often without thinking, like touching you was second nature.
It was his birthday dinner, belated by a few days thanks to packed schedules and impossible timing, but that only seemed to make tonight feel more special. It was less of an obligatory celebration and more of an intimate gathering with the people he loved most.
You listened quietly as the boys traded stories, particularly laughing at the embarassing stories involving your boyfriend. His cheeks had gone pink somewhere between the toasts and Sunoo’s retelling of a humiliating story from years ago, ducking his head with a shy grin that made your chest ache with affection.
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Jake murmured beside you, leaning in close enough for only you to hear.
You turned toward him, smiling. “I think it’s cute.”
His eyes softened instantly—that warm, honeyed look reserved only for you—before a voice next to you interrupted.
“I was just thinking,” Sunghoon said casually, resting back in his chair as his gaze landed on you, “that dress looks nice on you.”
The room felt heavier despite the cheerful conversation happening. You blinked, caught slightly off guard, before letting out a small laugh.
“Oh,” you said, smoothing a hand over your dress almost instinctively. “Yeah… thanks.”
Simple. Innocent. Nothing more than polite acknowledgment before your attention slipped elsewhere, already listening to Jungwon start another story from down the table.
You didn’t notice the way Sunghoon’s eyes lingered a second longer than necessary.
And you definitely didn’t notice Jake.
You didn't notice how the easy smile on his lips had faded. You didn't notice how his hand, once tracing lazy circles against your shoulder, had gone still. You didn't otice how his gaze stayed fixed and not on Sunghoon exactly, but on the space between you, watching every little thing with quiet intensity.
Jake was smiling when someone pulled him back into conversation, nodding along, laughing at the right moments, and slipping effortlessly back into the warmth of the group.
But every so often, his eyes found you.
Found Sunghoon leaning in a little too close when he spoke to you. Found the way Sunghoon kept directing little comments your way; small, easy compliments wrapped in harmless teasing that made you laugh.
And every time, Jake watched, saying nothing at all.
The drive home after dinner was quieter than usual.
Not awkward, though. Jake had never been awkward with you but he was noticeably quieter. The radio hummed softly, some late-night radio playing low enough to be background noise, drowned out by the steady rhythm of tires against pavement.
Beside you, Jake was still as ever with one hand resting loosely at the top of the wheel, the other draped over the center console. But there was a tension in him that hadn’t been there before.
You noticed it. Of course you did, but you didn’t know what to do with it. So you let the silence stretch, hoping he’d speak first when he was ready.
His voice came suddenly, so sudden that you almost missed it.
“You let him say that to you.”
You turned, brows knitting softly. “What?”
Jake’s eyes stayed fixed on the road, jaw tightening.
“Sunghoon.”
You blinked, replaying the night in your head.
“The dress comment?” you asked slowly, confused more than anything. “He was just being nice.”
Jake let out a humorless laugh beneath his breath, his eye slightly twitching.
“Was he?”
The sharpness in those two words caught you off guard. You straightened slightly in your seat, turning toward him more fully now. “Jake, what is that supposed to mean?”
His grip on the wheel tightened just enough for you to notice.
“It means,” he said, voice low and controlled, “I watched him spend half the night leaning into your space, looking at you like—”
He stopped himself, knowing if he pushed further it would only make things worse, but you do it for him anyway.
“Like what?” you pressed.
Jake finally glanced at you, and there was something dark and wounded in his expression—something raw beneath all that usual warmth.
“Like he wanted something that’s mine.”
Your breath caught, disbelief washing over you. In the back of your head, you knew that Jake was possessive and made it clear that you were off limits to his friends, but you also knew that they're boys. They're going to say things to tease Jake even if he doesn't take it lightly.
“You watched him do all that,” you shot back, words coming out sharper than expected. “And said nothing.”
Jake’s expression hardened. He knew you were right.
“I was trying not to make a scene on my birthday.”
You scoffed softly. “So somehow I’m the problem?”
“No,” he said immediately, sharper this time. Then quieter, rougher around the edges: “The problem is you smiled at him like it meant nothing.”
And that makes it personal.
Jake didn’t say much when you returned back to your place.. Neither did you. It just felt easier that way, as if speaking might crack something neither of you knew how to put back together yet.
You walked a few steps in, fingers already moving to your earrings out of habit. One came loose easily, then the other, your reflection catching briefly in the hallway mirror as you exhaled through your nose, still thinking about dinner. Still thinking about Sunghoon. Still thinking about Jake’s silence.
You stepped into the bedroom with Jake following behind in a safe distance, the silence deafening beneath the click of your heels on the floor. And something about that silence finally irritated you again.
“You said you watched him.”
Jake didn’t answer right away. You set the earrings down carefully on your nightstand, trying not to let your frustration spill into your movements.
“I mean,” you added, quieter but sharper now, “you really just sat there?”
Another beat of silence. Then Jake’s voice, calm—but not light anymore.
“I kept watching because I wanted to see if you would notice.”
That made you still. Slowly, you turned.
“What?”
Jake sat on the bed, his blazer in his hand and gaze already on you like he hadn’t looked away since the restaurant. There was no humor in his expression now. No easy charm.
“I wanted to see,” he repeated, slower this time, “if it bothered you the same way it bothered me.”
Something in your chest tightened.
You let out a short, scoffed laugh.
“So you watched him do that to me on purpose?”
Jake didn't deny it and you didn't see it in his face either. You watched as he shifts on the bed, tossing his blazer aside as he unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt, huffing. You stared at him for a second, frustration still buzzing under your skin.
“So, what?” you said finally, voice sharper now. “You want me to read your mind?”
The silence that followed was different this time. He paused, looking at you like whatever he had been holding back all night finally snapped. He slowly exhaled, gaze dropping down to your legs before lifting again.
"Take it off."
You blinked. "What?"
"The dress," he said, quieter but firmer. "Take it off."
For a second, you just stood there. Confused and caught off guard. You trail your hands to your shoulder, fidgeting with the strap before you pause, ready to protest.
But Jake stopped you before your lips could part.
"I've been thinking about it all night, and I don't want anyone else seeing you in it again."
You let out a breath, half disbelief, half hesitation.
“Are you serious right now?”
Jake finally moved—just slightly—leaning forward on the bed, forearms resting loosely on his thighs, but his eyes didn’t leave you.
“Yes.”
A beat.
Then softer, but somehow heavier:
“Take it off.”
This time, it didn’t sound like a question. And it definitely didn’t sound like an argument anymore.
He watched as you slowly slid the zipper down. The dress fell to the floor, leaving you standing there half-naked. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
Jake stands up and walks over, stopping just inches away. "Turn around."
You turned slowly, presenting your back to him. You felt his hand ghost over your spine, tracing the line of your shoulders before his fingers settled on the clasp of your bra. With a quiet click, he undoes it, letting the straps slide down your arms.
He leans in close, his chest pressing against your bare back, his breath hot against your ear.
"Sunghoon doesn't get to see this," he murmured against your skin, his hands sliding around your waist to pull you tighter against him. "And if he did, he'd know immediately who you belong to anyway."
His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, dragging them down your legs slowly until you stepped out of them. You were completely bare now, exposed under his intense gaze.
You turn around, looking up at him but his expression was indifferent. He smirks at you before dragging you to the bed. You crawled onto it, feeling vulnerable as ever as Jake followed, his movements predatory as he climbed onto the mattress behind you.
He pushed your legs apart gently but firmly, settling between them. You quietly whimper as his hands grips your hips, pulling you flush against him so you could feel his hardness pressing against your hot core.
When he pulls back slightly, his eyes widen at the way your wetness left a slight mark on his trousers. The subtle glisten of your juices could make him cum right then and there.
"You're already so wet," he commented, pressing against your core again. His hand slipped between your bodies, undoing his belt and pants with practiced ease. He pushed the fabric down just enough to free his cock, thick and heavy against your entrance.
You shudder when the tip gently grazes against your already sensitive nub, the pleasure overwhelming despite barely touching you.
"Don't tease," you whimper, praying he'd give it to you without begging. "Show me what Sunghoon can't."
His eyes flashed with an almost angry possession at your words. Before you could think, he pushes in with one fluid motion, burying himself deep in one brutal stroke. A harsh cry escaped your lips, his hand kneading your breast as he fucks you roughly against the mattress.
The bedframe slammed rhythmically against the wall with every punishing thrust, the sound echoing through the room. He fucked you with a raw, desperate intensity that was meant to make sure you felt every inch of him.
"You feel that?" he gritted out, hips snapping ruthlessly against yours. "He can't fuck you like this, can he?"
You shake your head between thrusts, moaning out almost pornographically.
"He can't make you sound like this either," Jake growled, lifting your legs higher around his hips, his cock hitting deeper. He angled his hips, targeting that perfect place inside you that made your eyes roll back.
Jake watches you with a dark gaze, loving the way you completely fold under him. Seeing you completely fall apart—eyes rolling back, body arching helplessly, thighs twitching—it only fueld his posessiveness even further.
The knot inside you started to get tighter, only a few seconds away from completely coming undone. Your walls flutter around Jake, and with a final brutal thrust, he hit that spot inside you over and over until your orgasm crashed through you.
Weeks passed ever since that night. Both of you never spoke about it, but something had shifted significantly.
He held your hand a little longer when others are around. His gaze followed you more often than it used to. And he positioned himself closer whenever someone came a little close, especially around his friends. Especially around Sunghoon.
The vacation house was supposed to be relaxing, but you could feel the tension between Jake and Sunghoon. You could feel it right now as you're tucked into the corner of the sofa beside Jake.
Your legs are drawn up comfortably, shoulders brushing lightly whenever either of you shifted. It felt easy and comforting, and for a while, it stayed that way.
"We're gonna head up to bed first."
A few heads turned toward Jake, someone teasing him lightly from across the room. "Already?"
Jake smiled like nothing about it carried weight. "Yeah. Long day."
His friends quickly nodded, dismissing it as quickly as it came. Jake's hand slid from its resting place as he stood, offering you his without even looking down at it like he assumed you'd take it.
The moment the door clicked shut behind you, the noise from downstairs disappeared almost completely. The room was warm, and the moonlight lit the room perfectly.
Jake didn't let go of your hand right away. Instead, he pulls you close, arms wrapping around you as his chin rests on your head. It was odd that he was being overly affectionate, but you didn't question it.
"You're quiet," he said, hugging you tighter. "You've been doing that thing where you think too much."
You let out a small laugh. "And you've been doing that thing where you act like you know me better than I know myself."
That earned a quiet huff of amusement from him. He pulls back, hands sliding down to your waist.
"I do know you pretty well," he murmured.
You raised a brow at him. "Why are you acting like this?"
He tilted his head.
"Like what?"
"Like—" you gestured vaguely between the two of you, trying to find the right word. "Like you're in a mood."
His hand tightened slightly at your waist, not enough to pull you back closer, but enough that you could feel it.
"I just like you."
Jake leans in, his breath ghosting over your lips, but you close the distance. He met you halfway instantly, his hand moving to cradle the back of your neck as he kissed you. It wasn't rough or demanding, but slow and deliberate.
The kiss was consuming, stealing the air from your lungs and forgetting everything. His hand tangled in your hair, angling your head just right as his other hand sneaks under your shirt.
He walks you backward until you hit the wall, his body pressing into yours. His tongue pushed past your lips, exploring your mouth hungrily now.
You pull back slightly to catch your breath. "Jake, we shouldn't. They're going to hear us."
"You'll just have to be quiet then," he murmured against your jaw, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there. His hands slid higher under your shirt, thumbs tracing the underside of your breasts.
You shiver at the way he gently touches you, but you could feel the heat underneath it. Jake started to leave open-mouthed kisses that made you question whether either of you could actually pull that off.
His lips found yours again just as footsteps passed your room. It should be enough to make you stop, to push him away. Instead, his hands on your body makes it hard to stop.
Jake pushes your shirt up, his thumbs circling your nipples through your bra. The footsteps disappeared, and Jake took advantage of the distraction to slide his hand beneath your bra and brush his thumbs over your nipples in slow circles.
You arched against him as your hand found his hair, pulling him closer instead. He groaned against your neck, one hand fumbling with the hook of your bra while the other trailed down your waist, landing on the waistband of your shorts.
The moan that escaped you when his palm presses against your core made him bite down on your shoulder.
"What happened to being quiet, hm?"
He grabs your wrist, dragging you over to the couch in the corner of the room. He sat down, pulling you down onto his lap so you were straddling him. It put you at the perfect height for him to continue touching you, his hands sliding back up your stomach to cup your breasts.
"You know, Sunghoon's room is next to ours," he whispers before taking a nipple into his mouth. Your moan turned into a gasp when the comment leaves out of Jake's mouth.
His tongue swirled around your nipple, sucking gently as he looked up at you with a mischevious glint in his eye. You can feel wetness pooling at your core as his erection firmly pressed against you.
Your hips start to move instinctively, grinding against him to feel anything. His head falls back against the couch, watching you through half-lidded eyes.
He could feel exactly how turned on you were, hands gripping your hips to help you move against his erection. His free hand moved to cover your mouth suddenly as you started to moan louder.
Jake watched your face carefully, making sure you were quiet, but he wanted to entertain the idea of his own friend hearing your moans. There was something deeply satisfying about the thought of Sunghonon hearing you unravel, still trying to prove his point from weeks ago.
It made his cock throb against you, and he removes his hand from your mouth. Your quiet moan went right to his hard cock when his thumb presses against your clit through your shorts. Your mouth fell open in another soft moan, and he could practically see Sunghoon's confused expression through the wall.
His other hand slid into your shorts, fingers sliding under your soaked panties. Your thighs clamped around his write as he found you already wet. Before you could react, two fingers slide into you slowly, your head falling back with a breathy whimper escaping,
"Ride them."
You obeyed, immediately moving your hips up and down on his fingers rhythmically. The sound of your wet core sliding along his fingers was incredibly erotic. He curved his fingers upward, hitting that perfect spot inside of you. Your hand flies to grip onto his shoulder when you feel the wave of your orgasm hit you in flutters.
He watches you fall apart on his fingers, pumping them faster until your thighs were trembling and your nails were digging into his shoulders. Your head tipped back, a soft, breathless whine escaping as your orgasm crashed over you.
"Now do it again," he commanded, helping you stand up and backing you up against the wall. Only this time, it was the wall directly next to Sunghoon's room.
His hands gently grip your shoulder to turn you around, pressing you directly against the wall. Without hesitation, his fingers returned to your core, sliding back in as he lifted your leg.
The overstimulation of pleasure was overwhelming, and you couldn't control the way the sweetest moans left you. The wet, slick sounds were unmistakable, echoing in the quiet room alongside your moans. Your hand comes up to try and cover your embarrassing sounds, but it didn't help.
Your knees buckled as he hit that spot again, your body trembling as he forced another orgasm out of you.
A message pings on Jake's phone from the other side of the room.
i saw on your main page that you're no longer writing for heeseung, may i ask why? other authors here still write for him as part of enhypen
"still write for him as a part of enhypen" is the reason why i won't be writing for him.
i only write for enhypen, which are the six members who are active in the group. i still respect and acknowledge that heeseung is a former member, and i will keep up any work i had written for him (and they can be found in archives with my older works).
i know it may sound silly and unreasonable, but there are still so many authors who you should support even if it means i decide not to write fanfics for heeseung. this is my page and this is just the path im choosing to take.
─── my saddle's waiting, come and jump on it ⋆˚꩜｡
OR you're the prettiest girl in town and everyone loves you. every night, men wait in the bar for your mechanical bull-ride performance, but only one man catches your eye.
pairing: cowboy!sunghoon x club-performer f!reader
content+warnings: not proofread, smut, lots of teasing, dry humping, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), riding duh, nipple play, big dick sunghoon gulp, clit play, overstimulation - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 2.9k / 2,965
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
ONE HAND PUSHES THE DOOR OPEN, slow enough to anticipate the crowd today. Heads turn as you walk in, and it's not even dramatic anymore. It's routine. Conversations stop and eyes drag toward you like they don't have a choice. It's heavy, but you're used to it by now.
Somewhere to your left, someone lets out a low whistle that gets a few others to follow.
"There she is!"
"Came just in time."
Your boots hit the floor with purpose, your footsteps heavy against the wood. It's a part of the performance and you weren't ashamed of it. If they liked it, then you loved it.
The lights are dim now, except for the center of the room where the mechanical bull sits under a gold spotlight. It gleams just enough to draw attention, but it's nothing without you there.
The closer you get, the louder the room becomes, hollering and shouting your name like a cult. As you get inside the ring, everyone crowds around, some leaning forward on the rail already watching you like they're going to miss it if they blink.
Music starts playing, meaning it was time. You hook your fingers under the hem of your oversized shirt, tugging it slightly as the bull starts to move. It starts slow, and you move with it, hips following like it's second nature.
You pull your shirt up higher, letting the crowd react to every bit of skin you reveal. The crowd goes wild and the bull starts to move faster, making your hips sway almost suggestively.
Suddenly, you throw your shirt into the crowd, smiling at the guys fighting like dogs for it even though you sat there basically half-naked in only a bra and denim shorts.
After a few moments, your gaze drifts. It's not intentional, just a flicker outward trying to get a glimpse of everyone's faces.
Then you see him.
In the back of the bar, he sits there like he's not part of it at all. He's mindlessly drinking his beer, watching from afar like it was just another day. He doesn't shout, doesn't lean forward, doesn't have his hands raised trying to get your attention.
Even though he's casually enjoying his drink, his eyes are on you. They're not greedy like the other men, but focused like he's studying you.
The bull jerks harder underneath you, snapping you back into reality, but it's different. Everytime you spun around, your gaze immediately falls on him.
By the time the ride slows to a stop, the energy in the room has already calmed down. The music fades and the bull stops as the crowd erupts one last time. You slide off the bull with practiced ease, brushing your hair back over your shoulder like it's nothing. Giving your thanks, the crowd filters out the bar and back home to their wives.
You hum softly as the bar owner, Jay, walks over, dragging you toward the bar where he hands you a jacket.
"Looks like you got a bigger crowd tonight," he mutters, counting the money he owes you. "Do that again tomorrow and you'll be rich in no time."
You chuckle at the compliment, grabbing the money from him and putting it in your back pocket. Most of the tables are empty now, only with a few drunk stragglers finishing their beers.
But in the back, he's still there.
He stands from his seat, adjusting his jacket slightly before making his way towards you. Your finger taps lightly against the counter as you watch him approach, but just before he gets close enough, he stops.
He leans in slightly toward Jay, saying something low and quiet. You couldn't quite catch it, but Jay's brows lift just a fraction, eyes flicking toward you for a split second before returning to him.
Jay walks over to you, a bit flushed. "That man, Sunghoon, he's asking for a private show. Offered two hundred."
Your expression doesn't change. You don't even look at him right away.
"No."
It comes out easier than expected.
"Not tonight."
Jay sighs lightly, like he anticipated that answer, but before he can respond, you feel it. You look past him, seeing the way Sunghoon looks at you with darker eyes now, desperate.
Your breath catches just slightly.
"Fine."
Jay barely hides his smirk. You don't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, you step past him and walk towards Sunghoon.
"DId you enjoy tonight?" your voice light, almost teasing. For a second, he doesn't answer. He just looks at you, up close and personal.
The corner of his mouth lifts. "I would've," he says, voice low.
Your brows lift slightly. "Would've?"
His eyes flick down, lingering on your breasts peeking from beneath the jacket.
"Would've enjoyed it more," he corrects, taking a smaller step forward, "if you gave me a private show."
It lands exactly how he intends to. It wasn't rushed or pushy. Certain.
Your lips part just slightly, surprised, but you tilt your head as a soft scoff slips out.
"Most people just throw a few dollars and hope I look their way," you point out, voice light, almost amused. "You skipped a few steps."
HIs gaze doesn't waver, lips tightening. "I don't need to."
Your eyes narrow, smile creeping on your face. A moment passes before you look around the bar, watching as the employees begin clearing tables, wiping down surfaces, and stacking chairs.
"Looks like the bar's closing," you hum, pushing lightly off your heel. "Maybe tomorrow."
You turn slightly like you're done with the conversation.
"I'll end my show early for you."
It's a tease, seeing if he'd push further, but you also didn't want to entertain the idea tonight.
"Nah."
You pause, glancing over your shoulder. Your brows lift, unimpressed.
He holds your gaze. “Follow me.”
Before you can protest, he’s already moving toward the exit. Your lips part, a soft laugh slipping out as you watch him take a few steps and then stop. Sunghoon glances back at you over his shoulder, just enough to check.
You don’t move right away, hesitating for a beat. Then you let out a quiet breath and push off to follow him anyway. The corner of his mouth twitches—barely—but he turns and picks up his pace again as you fall in behind him.
The door swings open, and it’s quieter outside. The noise from the bar fades instantly, replaced by the cool night air and the low hum of the street.
He stops, turning just enough to glance at you. “My place,” he says simply. “It’s nearby.”
You scoff under your breath, stepping past him this time as he gestures down the street. “Hope you’re not wasting my time.”
For the first time, he lets out a chuckle.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
The walk is short. Just a few buildings over, tucked away from the main strip. His place sits back from the street, quieter, more private. He moves like he’s done this a thousand times. Calm and unhurried like he already knows how this goes.
He unlocks the door and steps inside without looking back, just expecting you to follow. The door clicks shut behind you and the silence settles in almost immediately.
Sunghoon doesn’t linger near the entrance. He walks further in as he turns on the jukebox, shrugging off his jacket as he goes before dropping onto the couch. His legs spread slightly, one arm resting along the back of the couch, head tilting just enough as his eyes land on you again.
“You gonna stand there all night,” he murmurs, voice low, even, “or are you finally gonna start?”
You stay where you are for a second, glancing around his place before your eyes land back on him. A slow smile creeps onto your lips.
“What am I supposed to ride?” you ask lightly, tilting your head. “There’s no bull here.”
For the first time since you walked in, you felt a sudden rush of embarrassment. He leans forward just slightly, elbows resting on his knees, eyes never leaving yours.
“Guess you'll have to improvise."
The words hang in the air, leaving you stunned. Your tongue presses lightly against your cheek as you study him. He was relaxed, sitting there like he has all the time in the world.
His eyes stay locked on you, following every moment as you step closer but stopping just enough for him to look up at you. You push him back onto the couch, his eyes slightly widening at the bold move. Then, you straddle his lap.
"Giddy up, Cowboy."
Sunghoon's hands land on your waist, fingers slightly pressing against you as his eyes flicker down to the way your thighs rub against his hips. A low huff of amusement leaves him.
Without hesitating, you grind your hips slowly, mimicking the way you sway on top of the mechanical bull when it moves. His jaw tightens the moment you start, hands now resting on your thighs, fingers digging into you.
He watches the roll of your hips with heavy-lidded eyes, hips slightly twitching underneath you. You began to grind faster, setting a steady pace as he rolls his own to meet you halfway. The room fills with the quiet music, the sounds of fabric rustling beneath it.
You let out a shaken breath when his lips press open-mouthed kisses along your neck. Your hips grind harder, feeling his erection beneath the denim of his jeans.
A low groan escapes his lips, head falling back against the cushion when you lean forward. The angle was different and impossible for him to stay calm. Without getting a moment to breath, Sunghoon's lips were on yours.
The kiss is messy and desperate, all tongue and teeth as his hands slide under your jacket. He needs to touch bare skin; the barrier of the denim wasn't doing it for him. The grind of your hips doesn't stop—if anything, it gets more aggressive as the kiss deepens.
You pull away to unzip your jacket and you don't miss the way Sunghoon's eyes flick open briefly to watch you, his breath catching at the sight of you in a bra again.
His fingers dig into your backside as he begins to buck his hips. The denim of the jeans are rough against your sensitive areas, and you moan quietly.
"Fuck, you do this for other guys?"
You shake your head as his lips find your neck again, trailing down and stopping right where your bra sits. "Never."
Sunghoon smirks against your skin, fingers finding the clasp of your bra. For a moment, he fumbles with it before completely undoing it. He leans back just enough to peel the fabric down your shoulders, his eyes darkening when your tits are in full view.
His gaze lingers on you for a beat before he captures one nipple in his mouth, sucking hard. The sudden sensation makes you gasp, hips stuttering against him. He hums in approval, vibrations sending shocks through you as he alternates between biting and sucking.
"Fucking gorgeous," he growls against your skin, his face buried between your cleavage. "Those men won't know you're gonna ride me tonight, right?"
He knows exactly what he's doing. Your lips part, then closes without a response.
"That's what I thought," he whispers, giving your nipples one last pinch before grabbing your hips forcefully, stopping your slow grinding. "Now ride me like you did with that bull."
You nod, standing up and unizzping your shorts. They drop down, leaving you in only your soaked panties. He looked at you, top to bottom, before reaching forward and hooking his fingers into the wasitband and pulls them down your legs to leave you completely naked for him.
Sunghoon doesn't give you a moment to feel his gaze on you. Instead, he grips your waist and pulls you back down onto his lap, your core sliding against the rough denim of his jeans. The friction is immediate and overwhelming, your hips twitching.
"So fucking wet already, huh?" he mutters, lifting your hips to see the way a small wet mark is left on him. You whine when his hands slide between your bodies to drag a finger slowly through your slick folds. He then stops before you could react.
"C'mon now."
You knew what he meant, but with the constant teasing, you don't even know if you could handle whatever he's hiding underneath those jeans.
He sits back again, waiting for you to start. You sit back on his thighs, hands traveling down his chest and stopping right at the waistband of his jeans. He watches you with hooded eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly as you fumble with his belt. The leather slides off easily, followed by the button and zipper of his jeans.
Your hands tremble slightly as Sunghoon lifts his hips, allowing you to push the denim down just enough to free his hard length. It was already leaking at the tip, thick and heavy in your pal when you wrap your fingers around it.
Sunghoon lets out a low groan when you wrap your hand around his dick, squeezing gently to test the waters. The sound makes you bite your lip, knowing exactly what you're doing to him. He doesn't rush you, only leaning back with one head behind his head like he's enjoying the show.
Just as desperate, you finally line him up with your entrance, hovering over for a moment before slowly sinking down. The head pops in easily, but then it hits you. He's big—bigger—than any toy or partner you've had before.
Your nails dig into his shoulders as you try to take more. He notices the struggle and grips your hips firmly, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin. "Relax for me, yeah? You can take it."
He urges you down a fraction more, the stretch burning deliciously as your walls flutter around him. Once you bottom out, you start grinding.
The sensation is overwhelming. The way your tight heat squeezes him, the friction of your clit against his pelvic bone with every roll. His hands slide up your sides to palm your breasts, thumbs flicking over your hard nipples.
You watch as his head falls back against the cushion when you find a rhythm, your body moving instinctively against his. One hand slides down to grip your ass, pulling you harder against him with each thrust.
"Look at you being so fucking perfect," he praises, his voice breathy. "I don't have to imagine being that stupid mechanical bull anymore."
A loud moan escapes your lips when he thrusts up, hitting deeper than you could've imagined. You clench around him, movements becoming more desperate.
"Glad you don't have to think about that anymore," you moan, leaning down to bite his neck. He groans loudly when you bite him, his hands squeezing your ass possessively. His thrusts starts to become erratic and deep, picking up the pace when you couldn't anymore.
You were already seeing stars, loving the way he hits you perfectly, but also too much. Your head rests on his shoulder, but then he pushes you back, making you rest your palms on his knees behind you.
A loud, almost pornographic moan leaves you at the new angle. His thick length grinds directly against your sweet spot with each upward thrust. You're practically sobbing with pleasure, and anyone who was close enough to his place could hear you from outside.
"Don't move," he commands, his voice rough with lust. His hips piston up into you relestlessly.
Sunghoon's thumb finds your clit and starts rubbing in tight circles in the same place his cock pounds into you. The dual sensation is too much. Your body convulses and fall forward, your inner walls clamping down violently around his cock as a loud, broken sob escapes you.
"Sunghoon, I'm close," you moan in his ear, hoping he'd get you there soon. He angles his hips just right, hitting that spot inside you over and over again until the knot inside you snaps. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave as you clench tightly around his cock.
And still, he's going.
You whimper, your overstimulated body twitching with each continued thrust of his cock.
"Too much, Sunghoon," you babble incoherently, your hands gripping his shoulders as your body starts to give out. He ignores your pleas, his hands wrapping around your waist to pull you back into position as he continues to thrust into you mercilessly.
Another wave of pleasure washes over you for the second time, feeling his thick cream shoot inside you and cover your swollen walls. He lets out a quiet moan as he empties every last drop inside you, his cock pulsing and twitching with each hot spurt. His hips stutter to a stop, still buried deep inside you.
"Holy fuck," he breathes, his voice low and satisfied.
You walk into the bar the next day, ready for another night of performances. For some reason, it feels different.
You swing your leg over the bull, settling into place as whistles and cheers rise around you. The lights hit just right, the rhythm familiar as your body moves with the machine like it always has.
But this time you know where to look.
Your gaze drifts almost immediately to the back, and it feels like hitting the jackpot. Sunghoon sits there like he owns the spot, drink in hand, unbothered as ever. Just watching.
Your lips curve slightly before you look away, the bull jerking sharply beneath you. It picks up speed, the movement rougher—but you barely notice.
Because when you glance back, he's already lifting his glass in your direction, the faintest smirk pulling at his lips.
─── 맘이 가는 대로, let your body loose ⋆˚꩜｡
OR where you and your boyfriend were supposed to be setting up for a pool party, but he obviously had different ideas.
pairing: bf!ni-ki x f!reader
content+warnings: smut, semi-public smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), lots of teasing, edging, denied orgasm - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 1.5k / 1, 585
˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗
YOU STOOD IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR, adjusting the strap of your bikini as you turned slightly to check the fit. It hugged you just right, enough to make you pause and admire yourself for a second longer than usual.
When you walk outside, Riki turns around, eyes scanning over your curves. "You're really wearing that?"
You shrug as you walk up to him, hugging his side while he continues to set up the food on the table.
"Do you like this?" you point to your bikini. "I'm not so sure if I like it."
He looks down at your bikini, his eyes lingering the way the white fabric hugs your curves. His breath hitches when you do a 360 turn, the bottoms barely covering anything.
"I love it."
The words come out lower than you expected, his voice rough. You blink up at him, a small smile creeping onto your lips. "Yeah?"
Riki nods, a little too quickly.
His jaw tightens as he looks away, dragging a hand through his hair like he needs the distraction, like standing this close to you isn’t already doing too much.
“Yeah,” he mutters, voice rougher than before. "I'm gonna go grab some of the stuff from the fridge. I'll be back," he excuses himself, hoping that the few minutes he gets away from you will help him calm down.
You nod and walk over to the lounge chair to put on some sunscreen.
When he steps back outside with the groceries, he stops short. His eyes land on you instantly, on the way your hands move over your skin, slow and unhurried like you have all the time in the world. Like you don’t realize he’s watching. His grip on the bags tightens as he walks over to the table.
"Oh, Riki! Can you help me with my back?" you asked when you finally saw him standing across from you. He doesn't hesitate to walk over, grabbing the bottle from your hands, already squeezing some onto his palm.
"Turn around," he says softly. He massages your back gently, stopping right before he reaches your lower back. "Lay down, yeah? I can get your lower back easier."
You nod, immediately lying down on your stomach. His gaze follows you as you settle into the chair, nodding as he puts on more sunscreen into his hands before rubbing them together. He kneels down at the end of the chair, starting to massage your calves and slowly working up your thighs.
"How's this?"
You hum. "Don't forget my lower back too."
His hands are already moving up to massage your lower back, your breath hitching with every touch. He massages the sunscreen into your skin with slow, firm circles, making sure to cover every inch. His thumbs trace along your spine, then dip lower just above the bikini line.
Your hands curl into the lounge chair, although there was barely anything to grip onto. Riki notices your hands gripping the chair and smirks to himself. A second later, you feel a drop of sunscreen land on your ass.
“Lift up a little,” he murmurs. His heart rate picks up slightly as he waits for your response.
When you lift your hips up just an inch, he takes it as an invitation. He squirts more sunscreen directly to onto your ass, then starts massaging it, hands covering your cheeks completely.
Your breath hitches, lips agape as you feel his hands move slowly, now sliding between your cheeks. His fingers slightly brushed your core, making you shiver. The way his fingers pause and drag makes it obvious that wasn't accidental.
“Almost done,” he murmurs, voice low and steady, but not convincing. “Just… making sure I didn’t miss anything.”
His fingers trailed near your core again with each pass, never quite touching, but close enough to make you feel it. This wasn't how he usually acted, and that's what made it worse.
"Riki, please behave."
You hear him chuckle behind you, his fingers toying with the straps of your bikini bottom.
"You know, the sun can be really harsh on your delicate skin," he whispers, lips brushing against your ear as his fingers inch closer to untying the straps. Before you could stop him, he unties them leaving your ass completely exposed to him as the cool air hits your core.
His hands spread your cheeks slightly, using the little bit of sunscreen left in his palm to apply it to your inner thighs in deliberate circles. You quietly whimper, body tensing up at every touch.
"Riki," you moan, "please."
You weren't sure what you were asking for, but his finger grazes your core with a light touch, feeling how wet you already were. He bites back on a groan when you squirm under him, his finger pressing against your sensitive bud.
"Hmm... don't think I got everything."
You whimper and push back against his hand, already worked up. Riki presses harder against your clit, sliding a finger through your wet folds. Your hand flies up to your mouth, covering your quiet moans.
He watches your reaction as he plays with you, seeing your eyes flutter as you moan against your palm. "Keep quiet, Princess. Don't want the neighbors hearing how loud you get for me."
You can feel the way he's purposely teasing you, barely inserting a finger inside. The tip of his finger slides inside you, then immediately pulls out the moment your body reacts to it. He repeats this motion, barely penetrating your entrance but never going deep enough.
His finger slides through your folds again before tapping against your hole.
"Don't tease," you whine, biting on your finger as you turn your head around to watch him play with you. He chuckles softly when his gaze reaches yours. He knows you're getting frustrated.
He slides in his finger a little deeper this time, but still pulls out every time a moan leaves your lips. You try to push back against his hand, wanting him to fill you completely. Finally, he slides in two fingers at once, stretching you open.
You gasp and grip the lounge chair desperately as he curls them inside you. He pumps his fingers in and out slowly as his other hand spreads your cheeks wider.
Riki works his fingers skillfully, hitting that perfect spot inside you with every thrust. Sweet moans escaped your lips, making him pick up the pace, fucking you with his fingers like he's never had before.
He feels your walls tightening around his fingers as his thumb presses down firmly on your clit, rubbing it tightly. You can feel his palm slightly smacking againt your pussy with each thrust, feeling yourself get closer to reaching over the edge.
When he sees you nearing your orgasm, he pulls his fingers out abruptly, leaving you on the edge and desperately needing release. He smirks darkly as he watches you whimper and squirm.
"Look at you," he murmurs, gently palming your cheeks. He then spreads them apart, watching the way your dripping core glistens in the sunlight. Your hole flutters, hoping he'd touch you again.
Then, you feel his tongue against you. He leans down, pressing his tongue against your clit slowy, spreading your folds apart with his fingers. The cool air made you clench on nothing, desperate for anything.
He eats you out like a starving man, his tongue penetrating your hole and fucking you with hit. Your ragged breaths fill the space as you try to hold back from moaning, but you couldn't help it. When he sucks on your clit, pulling it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, he can feel your hips shaking.
His arms rest on top of your thighs, holding you down as his hands continue to spread your folds open, helping him reach into every crevice.
"Riki, I'm so close," you moan, hand flying behind you as your fingers tangle in his hair. He groans against your pussy, loving the sound of his names on your lips.
He spreads you open wider, his tongue diving deep inside you as his thumb presses hard on your clit. Your walls tighten around his tongue, knowing you're right on the edge. He fucks you with his tongue mercilessly, bringing you right to the brink of orgasm over and over.
Each time he feels you getting close, he pulls back and licks your clit getntly, refusing to let you come until he's ready.
Then, the doorbell echoes from inside the house and entering the backyard. He freezes instantly, giving your clit one last slow lick before he pulls away completely. Riki carefully pulls your bottoms back into place, tying it up to cover your soaked pussy.
"Perfect timing, huh?" he whispers against your thigh, pressing a kiss there. "Stay right here. Fix yourself up."
You catch your breath, a bit dumbfounded, as you watch him stand up from behind you. He gets up quickly, adjusting his swimsuit to hide his obvious erection before walking back inside the house to let your friends in.
You hear laughter and greetings echo from inside the house as he opens the door, giving you a moment to compose yourself. Your pussy is throbbing and dripping, still desperately needing release.
When Riki walks out with the others, he immediately looks at you but then looks away quickly when Jake comes to dab him up.
Jungwon walks over, giving you a hug.
"Hey! Long time no see! Looks like you already started without us."
─── you want a good girl that does bad things to you⋆˚꩜｡
OR where sunghoon's friends thinks that you're too innocent and he doesn't get the pleasure he needs. however, he knew that you already had him wrapped around your finger and you were ready to prove his friends wrong.
pairing: bf!sunghoon x innocent(ish)!reader
content + warnings: just pure smut and filth what's new atp, jake and jay are kind of cocky and pervs, switch!sunghoon, switch!reader, whiny sunghoon nghh, unprotected p in v (cap before you tap), bondage using tie, oral (m receiving), cowboy, light choking, taking photos/filming during sex - lmk if i missed anything!
word count:2.4k / 2,447
bea speaks! wait bc i actually have so many drafts that i just want to post them all but this one has to be my fav yet so far
♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ
SUNGHOON LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR, the low hum of the bar around him with a glass of whiskey in his hand. A few drinks in, his friends are already laughing louder than they should, teasing each other, joking about their upcoming trip to Taipei.
"So... are we bringing our girlfriends along or what?" Jay asks, swirling his beer.
"Yeah, I mean, Taipei sounds like a perfect couple's getaway," Jake chimes in, smirking. He gives Jay a knowing look, knowing that their girlfriends are going to get along well.
A pause. Then Jake glances at Sunghoon, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "What about you, man? You gonna drag that little angel of yours along?"
Sunghoon stiffens, nearly spilling his drink. "Guys, come on. Don't start with that."
Jay laughs, shaking his head. "She's too innocent right? Doesn't do anything wild?"
"Yeah," Jake pipes in, leaning back. "Best she doesn't even like... let you, you know... get your fun."
Sunghoon groans, running a hand down his face. "I swear, stop. That's my girlfriend you're talking about. She's perfect whether she does or doesn't."
Jay and Jake exchange a glance and laugh, taking casual sips of their drinks. "Perfect, huh?" Jay teases, smirking. "Bet she's really something in private."
Jake snickers, "Yeah, man, I'm curious how she really is."
Sunghoon narrows his eyes, a grin tugging at his lips despite his flushed cheeks. "Guys, please? You wouldn't last two minutes if you had someone like her."
The door clicks open and Sunghoon steps inside, a faint grin on his lips and hair slightly tousled from the night. Before he can even take off his shoes and jacket, you're practically flying across the living room, arms wide.
"Finally, you're home!" you exclaim, wrapping your arms around him from behind and burying your face in his back. "How was hanging out with the boys? Don't tell me they worked you up again."
Sunghoon chuckles, the sound low, and then sighs as he turns around to embrace you in his arms. "You have no idea. They, well—they teased me. About... you."
You freeze for a split second, not because you doubt him, but because of how they teased him. Your brows knit together. "They teased you? About me? About what specifically?"
He laughs softly, shaking his head, obviously still embarrassed. "Said you're too innocent. That I don't... get enough. I tried to stop them, I swear, but..."
You tilt your head, eyes sparkling with amusement, and press a quick kiss to his jaw, teasingly. "Too innocent, huh?"
His breath catches, a low chuckle escaping him as he felt relief wash over him. He knows the truth: you've got him right where you want him, and now you're teasing him while pretending to scold him.
You slide a hand down his chest, letting your fingers brush down to land on the waistband of his pants, voice dipping just low enough for him to feel it in his bones.
"You know, maybe they're wrong," you murmur, tilting your head to meet his eyes.
Sunghoon swallows, his eyes darkening. "Oh really? And how would I know that?"
You bite your lip, leaning closer until your lips graze his ear. "You'll have to see for yourself."
You pull back just enough to look at him before running away into the bedroom. He shakes his head and smiles to himself before chasing after you.
Sunghoon catches you easily, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the ground as he enters the bedroom. He throws you on the bed, eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and desire.
"Oh, I'll definitely find out for myself," his playful mood turning into something hungrier. He climbs onto the bed, crawling over you on his hands and knees.
"They think you're too innocent to fuck me the way I want, huh?" he leans down, caging you in with his arms, his face inches from yours. "Let me check something real quick."
He captures your mouth in a deep, dominant kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips to claim yours. HIs hands slide down your side, resting possessively on your hip.
"Sunghoon, let me..."
Without protesting, he immediately lets you take over. You sit up and push him down onto the bed, watching as his eyes widen. He's never seen you take over like this; only ever seeing you be as equally sexual whenever he's on top.
You straddle his hips as you bend down to kiss him, deep and intoxicating. He watches you with hungry eyes, his hands gripping the bedsheets instead of reaching for you as you grind down on his growing erection. He's wants to see what you'll do, curious to see if you really can fuck him the way he wants.
A pit of fire flowed through you as an idea hit. You grab onto his tie, slowly untying it as you continue to grind on him. Once it was undone, you pull away, grabbing his wrist and tying them to the headboard.
His breath hitches as you tie his hands above his head, a shocked laugh turning into a groan. He pulls experimentally at the tie, finding himself truly restrained.
"Where did you learn how to do that?" he moans, eyes flicking down to your face, then lower to where you're still straddling him.
When you begin to undo his belt, slow and teasing, he swallows hard with his chest rising and falling rapidly. You're completely dominating him right now, and he loves it. His restrained position makes his biceps flex attractively as he watches you, waiting for your next movie.
His cock is now fully hard, tenting in his pants.
"Baby..."
Sunghoon was almost sure you were going to continue to touch his hard cock, but then you unbutton his shirt, revealing his toned chest. He arches into your touch, his skin burning where your fingers trail. Once his shirt is open, you push it aside, running your hands over his muscular chest and abs, scratching lightly.
"Fuck, just like that..."
You finally unbuckle his bet and unzip his trousers, revealing his hard cock straining against his boxers. He sucked in a breath, completely at your mercy. His cock springs free as you pull the waistband of his boxers off. It slaps against his stomach, thick and already leaking.
"I've seen this cock so many times, but it's so big," you whisper, fingers wrapping around him. His hips buck up, seeking more friction.
"You're killing me here—"
His cock twitches against you as you continue to pump him, maintaining eye contact. Once you could tell he was about to beg, you lick a strip up from the base to the tip, making him curse and tug against the tie. You wrap your lips around the head, sucking gently while one hand grips his thigh.
He groans loudly, his head falling back against the pillow. The sensation of your mouth wrapped around him is overwhelming, especially with his hands restrained. He can only lie there and take it.
"Baby, slow down," he chokes out, his gaze coming back up to watch you as you look up at him through wet eyelashes. He starts to thrust up into your mouth, but you pull away.
"No, wait!" he whines when you pull off, his cock red and dripping with your saliva. He looks desperate, chest flushed as he's panting. He clearly is enjoying this.
You climb back up his body, pressing your small frame against his larger one. He can feel your soft curves against his hard muscles, your tits pressing against his chest. He lifts his hips, trying to rub againt you.
"Baby, I'm begging you..."
You silence him with a kiss, your tongue pushing into his mouth aggressively. He kisses you back eagerly, his tied hands pulling at the restraints out of frustration. You grind down on him slowly before taking off your pants, but leaving your panties on to tease him.
You continue to grind on his cock, letting it rub against your clothed pussy. He groans, feeling the thin fabric between you both. His cock slides against you, the tip pressing against your clit through the panties.
He thrusts up helplessly, his hips bucking again. "Let me inside, please?" he whines. His voice is breathy and desperate, completely under your spell. You keep grinding, your pussy soaking through the thin fabric and making a quiet, wet sound as you rub against him.
He can smell your arousal, seeing how turned on you also are. His cock twitches, wanting nothing more than to sink into you, but you're controlling everything.
"Baby, I swear to god—" he pants, eyes rolling back slightly when you lean down to leave wet, open—mouth kisses on his chest. Beads of sweat drop down his neck as veins begin to pop out, and you're loving the way he's under you right now.
You circle your hips slowly, teasing him further. Sunghoon's hands are fidgeting against the restraints, wanting to reach out and grab your hips to help you ride him, but he couldn't.
Sitting up, you finally pull your panties to the side to let his cock slide through your wet folds. A small moan escaped your lips as his tip rubbed against your clit, and you swear Sunghoon's body tensed at your sweet sound.
The head of his cock catches on your entrance as you position him to your hole, and he almost sobs with relief. He's never been this turned on in his life, neever felt so desperate to be inside someone. His hands tug uselessly at the tie above his head.
"Please, baby. I've been good."
You slowly lower yourself, taking his entire length in one slow, torturous movement. He feels your tight pussy stretch around him, swallowing his cock inch by inch until you're fully seated fully on his lap. His eyes roll back, a long moan escaping him.
When you begin to move, you whimper, chest heaving. Even though you've been teasing Sunghoon this whole time, you were worked up yourself from being so used to him being on top.
You bounce on him slowly, almost completely pulling off before going back down. Once you're fully impaled on his cock, he takes a moment to savor the sensation. You're so tight, so wet, so warm—it's heaven. His hips jerk involuntarily, trying to thrust up into you.
Your hands reach forward to lightly wrap around his neck, a sign for him to behave. He swallows hard, his throat working against your hand. You lift your hips again again before sliding back down and grinding at the bottom. The pace was so slow, even if you were getting frustrated.
You lean down to kiss him, then another idea pops up.
Sunghoon watches curiously as you reach for his phone beside him, his brow furrowing slightly. He has no idea what you're planning, but the way you continue to ride him despite being accompanied by something else makes him lose his mind.
You turn his phone towards him, letting his FaceID open it.
"Baby... what are you—?"
You quickly found his messages, opening the group chat with Jake and Jay before snapping a photo of Sunghoon under you, hand around his throat, his wrists restrained.
His eyes widen in shock as he realizes what you're doing, but then you grind against him roughly, his eyes rolling back. He opens his mouth to protest, but then you take another picture, capturing the perfect image of him. It was clear evidence that you weren't just some innocent girl.
Sunghoon [11:42 PM]: [1 image attached]
You toss his phone aside, giving your full attention back to him. He watches his phone, frozen in horror, but some part of him was excited, knowing he just proved his friends wrong. The notification sounds came in quickly.
The sheer humiliation of his two friends seeing him like this—tied up, choked, dominatd by you—makes his cock throb inside you involuntarily. Before you could continue, you felt his hands grip your hips tightly.
He freed himself.
His hands are free now, but instead of pushing you off or reaching for his phone, he flips you over in one swift motion.
"You sent that to Jake and Jay?" he asks in short breaths.
"Had to prove them wrong," I moan as he thrusts back into you, rough. His arousal spikes even higher as your nonchalant response, almost wanting to fuck the small smirk off your face. You didn't even bother to hide it.
He starts to thrust harder, fucking you as he imagines his friends seeing this picture. His hands grip your hips tightly as he pounds into you, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. He's completely lost in the moment, almost on the edge of an orgasm.
Suddenly, his phone buzzes with incoming messages.
Jay [11:45 PM]: Bro??????
Jake [11:46 PM]: I told you he was a bottom lmao
Sunghoon laughs breathlessly, feeling a strange rush of embarrassment that actually makes him thrust deeply inside you.
"They're never letting me live this down."
He continues thrusting, completely unfazed by his friends' reaction. In fact, their messages only fuel him. He leans down to capture your lips in a messy kiss, hips slamming rougher against you.
A loud moan escapes you, your thighs twitching as your hands go to scratch his back. He moans at the sensation, clearly reaching his high soon.
With one hand still holding your hip, he grabs his phone again with the other and starts recording you, a complete mess under him. The camera captures every thrust, every moan, every second of you crying his name and begging him to slow down. He made sure to angle the camera so your expressions are clear: brows knit together, lips parted, tits bouncing with every thrust.
Sunghoon [11:53 PM}: [1 video attached]
He watches as the message gets delivered, then tosses it aside as his friends' quick replies become background noise.
"S—Sunghoon, slow down, please," you beg, hands gripping onto his biceps as your thighs quiver, your high almost crashing down. He slams into you hard, making you gasp as his free hand rubs your clit in rough circles.
His hips jerked, thrusts becoming erratic as he slows down. When he leans down to kiss your neck, biting your collarbone, you feel the wave wash over you, your vision turning white as you see stars. Sunghoon continues to fuck you through your orgasm as he reaches his, spurts of his thick cream coating your walls.
─── on the highway and i'm thinking that i love her ⋆˚꩜｡
OR after jay had walked away, he was determined to find you again. the moment he finds you, you can't decide if you'll stay or go, but he make the decision for you.
🏎️ part 1 | part 2 | part 3
pairing: f1 driver!jay x f!reader
contents + warnings: not proofread, angst lol, they're both kind of like... dumb, smut, lots of making out, fingering, marking, cum eating, slight masturbation, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (please don't)
word count: 3.3k / 3,390
bea speaks! i honestly didn't think that this would turn into a trilogy but it's also so sad that this is the last part. hopefully this gives everyone the closure they need hahaha
🏁 ˚.ೃ࿔*:･
BY THE TIME THE NEXT RACE COMES AROUND, Jay tells himself he's over it. It was nothing.
It was just a night. Two, if he's being honest. It was just something for him to get his mind out of the gutter, to relax for the rest stressful season.
That's how it was supposed to and that's how it's always been.
"Jay."
The sharp call of his name cuts through his thoughts, and he blinks. The track stretches out in front of him, the low rumble of the engine vibrating through his chest.
Right.
Focus.
His grip tightens around the wheel as he adjusts slightly, foot down and ready to push the car fast when the the cue goes off. He knows this track, knows every corner, every breaking point.
For a moment, Jay had it. He takes the track cleanly with perfect timing and precision. The car responds exactly how he needs it to, hugging the curve as he edges ahead inch by inch.
He's right there, close to the finish line. But then, it slips.
Not the car, or the track.
His focus.
Just for a second, your face flashes; the way you looked at him that morning, standing there like you were waiting for something he never gave you.
His grips falters.
"Shit."
The car loses its perfect line, just enough for it to matter. Another driver cuts in, taking the opportunity to slip past him before Jay can correct it. The radio crackles in his ear, his team saying something about adjusting or reminders but he doesn't process it.
Jay exhales sharply, jaw tight as he pushes through the final stretch.
"Get it together," he mutters under his breath, more to himself than anyone else.
By the time the race ends and he's parking at the pit, Jay yanks off his helmet, dragging himself into the garage.
"Hey—hey, what happened out there?" one of his teammates ask, half-laughing like it doesn't make sense.
“You had that turn. You had it.”
Another chimes in, “You lost it at the last second—did the tires—”
“I know.”
It comes out sharper than he means it to. The small circle around him goes quiet. Jay runs a hand through his hair, jaw tight, already turning away before anyone can say anything else. “I said I know.”
Later that night, Jay sits at the club with a glass he hasn't really touched. The loud music around him didn't bother him, but his mind won't shut up. It keeps dragging him back to the first time he met you.
He exhales, tipping his head back slightly, eyes fixed on the ceiling for a second too long.
This is stupid.
What did he expect? That you'd just show up? Walk through the door like something out of a movie?
He lets out a quiet, humourless laugh under his breath, pushing the glass away as he asks for his tab.
"Yeah," he mutters to himself, shaking his head. "What am I doing?"
You're not here. Of course you're not. You have your own life. Your own plans. You're probably not even thinking about him anymore.
Jay stands, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair, already turning toward the exit. He's been here for two hours already, and that was enough to tell him that there was no point in staying.
When he reaches the exit, the door swings open and laughter spills in first.
Jay stops.
You're smiling, head tilted slightly as you glance past Jay, eyes searching for someone behind you. Your friends, probably. Your voice carries faintly through the loud music like this is normal. Like he isn't standing right in front of you, completely thrown.
His grips tightens around his jacket.
No way.
There's a split second where he thinks he's imagining it, but then you step closer and brush past him. He doesn't move, not at first. He just stands there as his brain tries to process it. For a second, he considers letting you walk, pretending like he didn't notice.
But his body moves before his mind can catch up. He turns around and calls your name.
Your name leaves his mouth quieter than he expects, but you stopped. You turned around, and for the briefest moment, something flickers across your face but it's gone as quickly as it came. Your expression settles into something easy.
"Oh," you say, like you weren't just on his mind all day Your gaze moves over him once. "Hey."
For a second, neither of you says anything. Jay just looks at you—really looks at you. He's waiting to see if you'd say anything, waiting to see if you'd run up to him like he deserved more from you.
But you're giving him nothing.
"Hey!" A voice cuts in, bright and curious.
Jay's gaze shifts slightly as Sunghoon steps up beside you, his presence quiet but immediate. His eyes flick between the two of you, taking in the tension. "Who's this?"
Jay's attention snaps back to you, waiting for you to say something—anything.
You shrug lightly, turning to Sunghoon.
"It's no one," you say, like it was just another reoccurance. "We just accidentally bumped into each other when I walked in."
Sunghoon laughed softly, draping an arm around your shoulders. "Oh. Okay. Come on, they're waiting for us."
The words hit harder than anything else could've. Jay freezes.
The casual close less, the way you melt into Sunghoon's touch. For a second, he feels like an outsider watching someone else have what he thought was his.
You looked at Sunghoon for a second as if you were hesitating before nodding and walking away with him.
No hesitation. No second glance.
Jay doesn't move at first. He watches as you greet your friends, smiling like you didn't just meet the man who had been in your head for so long too.
Jay thought to himself: it shouldn't be hurting this much. She was just a hook-up.
"Yeah," he mutters to himself, "Whatever."
He pushes through the exit, the cool night air hitting him all at once. It's quieter out here, only filled with quiet chatter and muffled music. Jay exhales, dragging a hand through his hair as he walks toward his car like he's already decided that this doesn't matter anymore.
He's halfway to his car, then stops.
No one?
His jaw tightens. That's not what that was. Not the way you looked at him. Not the way he looked for you. He exhales sharply now, dragging his hand down his face.
"Fuck."
The word slips out before he can stop it, because walking away again doesn't sit right. He shakes his head, forcing himself to let it go, but he's already turning back around, heading back inside to where you were.
By the time he reaches the door again, his eyes scan the room immediately. He catches a glimpse of you standing at the bar, ordering a drink. It gave him the perfect leadway to approach you.
Jay stops just behind you, close enough to hear the soft clink of the glass as the bartender sets your drink down. For a second, he doesn't say anything.
"So, that's all I am?"
You pause just slightly. Then you turn around. Your eyes meet his, and there it is again—that controlled look like he didn't mean anything to you.
"Just..." he lets out quietly, "no one?"
You pick up your drink, taking a small sip before answering.
"What do you want me to say?" you ask, voice calm, almost curious. "It was only two nights of fun, right? It's not like you care at all about someone who is lesser than you."
Jay goes quiet for a second.
"Not here," he says. Your brows lift slightly.
"Come with me."
You hesitate. Something inside you is screaming to leave with him, to spend one more night with him. But something else is telling you to walk away like he did with you.
"Okay," you murmur. Jay's eyes flash like he was shocked you'd say yes.
The air between you is thicker as you step outside, not like the easiness that Jay felt earlier. The city night is cooler than the bar, but it does nothing to chill the heat simmering between you. Neither of you speak until the the door of his car shuts behind you, leaving the two of you in a space small enough to feel each other's warmth.
You looked over at him but before you could say anything, his lips are on yours. Rough, demanding, desperate—the kind of kiss that leaves no room for hesitation.
Your hands go to his chest, tugging him closer, nails gently grazing against his clothed chest. His hand gently cups the back of your neck, pulling you in closer like you were going to slip away.
The way he's kissing you, hot and messy, knocks you out of your senses completely. You can't think, can't breathe properly. Jay's hands are everywhere and you're matching him just as desperately.
You pull back slightly, just enough to catch your breath. "Jay... we—"
He hums, frustrated, teeth grazing your jaw. "I don't care. I don't want to stop."
A shiver runs down your spine. You don't want to stop either, but you know you can't stay in his car. The place where he ruined you.
"Let's go somewhere else," you murmur, voice ragged from his lips attacking your neck.
"Where?"
You glance around, heart still racing.
"My place."
Jay's lips curl into a smirk, low and rough. He doesn't hesitate to turn on his car, already speeding out the parking lot. His hands grip on the sterring wheel tighter than they need to, knuckles turning white with every passing second.
Every so often, his eyes flick to you for just a second, but it makes your stomach twist. You shift in your seat, heart hammering. You want to reach out to him, but you don't. Not yet.
As he pulls into your driveway, Jay kills the engine but neither of you move. Both of you were suddenly aware of what you were doing, but there were still some unsaid words between you.
You glance at him, hand twitching at your sides. His hands still rest on the wheel, fingers curling tightly as to decide whether to move on or continue.
Then without warning, you reach over and pull him in, lips crashing together. Your hands are in his hair before you even realize it, nails dragging down the back of his neck. His grips tighten around your waist, pulling you closer.
"Fuck, I missed you," he confesses, although you don't process it fast enough. You pull back just enough to look at him. Jay's eyes are intense as his chest heaves with heavy breaths. "Don't ever let me walk away again."
There was a sudden shift in the air when you didn't respond. You sit back in your seat as Jay unbukcles his, getting out of the car and walking over to your side. He unbuckles your belt, and as he hovers over you, he grabs your hand helping you out.
"Let's go."
You follow him to the front door and before you can even unlock the door, his hands are already on your waist. His hands lower down to the sides of your thighs, and you feel yourself heating up.
Finally, the door opens and you pull him in, closing the door behind him as you pull him in for another kiss. His lips immediately finds yours, reciprocating the same amount of need.
His hands grip firmly on your hips, fingers digging almost painfully. He pulls away as his mouth trails down your neck, sucking and nipping at your skin while he slips off the strap of your dress down your shoulder.
"Can't believe how much I missed you," he breathes out before he softly bites above your collarbone—he knew you liked it the most. He soothed the spot with his tongue as your fingers trail down his chest, stopping at the hem of his shirt. You missed the feeling of his toned body against yours, but before you could feel him, he pulls away.
"Who was that guy?"
You freeze for a second, fingers still grazing he chest lightly. "What do you mean?"
Jay's hands tighten on your hips, pulling you impossibly close. His forehead rests against yours, eyes dark. "That guy. The one who wrapped his arm around you. Who was he?"
You swallow, heart hammering. "It was Sunghoon. Just a friend."
Jay's jaw tightens, a low, frustrated groan rumbling from his chest. "A friend?"
You meet his gaze, a little defiant now. Your body betrays you and leans into him, pressed flush against his chest. "Yeah. Just a friend. Does it matter—"
He cuts you off, lips crashing onto yours again. Jay walked you backwards like he knew the layout of your place. You stop at the couch, dropping down when he pushes you. He leans down, the weight of him suffocating you just like you needed.
Jay hovers over you, hands gripping your hips like he's claiming every inch of you. Your fingers tangle in his hair, gasping against his lips. He swallows every whimper and gasp from you, loving the way you respond to him.
His hands slide up under your dress, pushing the fabric to your waist. He breaks the kiss just long enough to look at you before his thumb finds your core through your panties, pressing firmly against the thin material.
"Wet already?" he murmurs against your mouth, rubbing slow circles. Your hips grind slowly against him, aching for more friction, more pleasure. He hooks his fingers into your panties, pulling to the side without removing them completely. His thumb moves aside to replace with his fingers, gently sliding them through your slick folds.
You moan at his touch, hips twitching. "Jay..."
"Let me make it up to you, yeah?"
Without thinking, you nod, and that gives him the green light. He pushes two fingers inside of you in one smooth motion as his mouth claims yours again. He fucks you slowly with his fingers, curling them upwards to hit that sweet spot.
He continues his relentless pace with his fingers, his mouth moving fro your lips to your neck, biting and sucking hard enough to leave marks. His other hand moves from your hair to your chest, pulling the top of your dress down to expose your tits.
"Fuck, just as pretty as I remembered."
Jay pulls back just enough to watch your face as he adds a third finger, pumping them faster now. Your dress is pushed up around your waist, panties pulled aside, tits spilling out your dress as he finger fucks you.
You moan, your whole body starting to twitch as he continues to curl his fingers inside you. When you clenched around him, he removes his fingers, making you whimper at the loss. He brings them to his mouth, sucking your wetness off while maintaining eye contact.
He leans down to peck your lips as he unbuckles his belt. You watch when he pumps his cock, whispering sweet words to you about how much he wanted you so badly.
Your legs spread wide, fingers slowly rubbing your clit as Jay undressed himself. He watches you touch yourself for a moment, his jaw clenched tight as he pushes down his pants. Once he's bare, he drops to his knees, grabbing your wrist and moving your hand away from your pussy.
He spreads your legs wider, pushing them back toward your chest so your pussy is completely on display for him. He leans down and drags his tongue slowly from your entrance to your clit. Your back arched, hips trying to meet him with equal need. He sucks your sensitive bud into his mouth, letting it go with a soft pop sound.
"Don't tease. I missed feeling you touch me," you whine, biting onto your finger while he closed your legs completley.
He chuckles lowly, "I missed being inside you. You'll let me, yeah?"
You nod, spreading your closed legs again as he positions himself between your legs. He rubs his tip against your wet folds before pressing it against your entrance. Jay pushes into you in one swfit and deep thrust, making you cry out as he fills you completely. His hands grip your thighs tightly to keep them spread and lifted around him. His hips snap forward roughly with each thrust hitting that perfect spot deep inside you.
He sets a brutal pace, but eventually slowed down as if he was suddenly making love to you. He continues this slow, intimate rhythmm each movement conveying everything he couldn't say to you. His thumb lands on your cheek, caressing them as you looked up at him.
You whimper at the slowness of his thrusts, like he was trying to memorize every inch of your body, every sound you make. He kisses your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks.
"I'm sorry."
Something about his sudden apology made the knot inside you tighten, toes curling with each thrust. He's no longer fucking you; he's showing you how much he missed you, how much he regretted walking away.
"Jay, I'm so close," you whisper. Hearing you say his name like that, so close, falling apart, snaps something in him. He presses his face into your neck, biting down gently as he thrusts deep and hard just enough to push you over the edge without losing the slow rhythm.
He feels you clench around him, your pussy fluttering as your orgasm crashes through you. He doesn't stop. He drags out every last bit of pleasure out of you while you cry out his name. His thumb gently circles your clit, the overstimulation taking over you.
Your breathing trembles, chest heaving as he pulls out completey. His thumb still brushes against your cheek, lingering and soft. His eyes catch yours, conflicted, like he's about to spill every thought, every regret he's held back all this time.
The next time you saw Jay, he invited you to show you around the F1 paddock. He guided you around, showing you the cars up close, letting you peek under the hoods, explaining what made each setup special.
When he leaned close to point something out, your shoulder brushed his, fingers briefly gazing. You laughed at one of his playful jokes about a teammates obsession with tire pressures, and he smirked, eyes catching yours.
"You really know your stuff," you said, tilting your head, impressed.
"I have to," he replied with a grin. "Otherwise, they'd never let me drive."
Your fingers brushed again as you leaned in to see the inside of his car. Every glance, every accidental touch, every laugh shared made the world shrink until it was just the two of you.
Hours slipped by, passing by too fast. The sun dipped lower and you snapped back into reality. You straightened and glanced at the time.
"I should probably head out soon," you said softly, cheeks still flushed.
Jay's grin faltered, replaced by something quieter. He stepped closer, nodding. "I'll walk you out."
The two of you moved toward the front of the building, the hum of quiet chatter and engines behind you. The air between you felt thick and charged.
"Thanks for today," you said, voice low, heart still racing.
"No, thank you," he replied, fingers brushing against yours. "I… I wanted to show you all of it. And I'm glad you were here."
You smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "It was amazing, really. I can see why you love it so much. I used to be an F1 hater."
Jay laughs, nudging your shoulder. When it stops, he tilts his head, looking at you. "I love having you here. You… you make it better."
Your breath catches in your throat. He leans in just a little closer, the space between you thick with heat. For a moment, it feels like it could go anywhere—like maybe this is finally it.
His lips hover just inches from yours, the warmth of his breath brushing your face.
But as you lean in, he steps back, running a hand through his hair, jaw tight, and exhales slowly. He steps back and gave you a tight-lipped smile.
─── come see me at the hotel lobby, don't tell nobody ⋆˚꩜｡
OR where after finding out who jay really was, he was ready to test your limits even further.
🏎️ part 1 | part 2 | part 3
pairing: f1 driver!jay x f!reader
content+warnings: not proofread, smut, lots ofmaking out, oral (both receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), doggy arf arf, overstimulation, fingering, cum eating, light choking, filth as always - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 3.4k / 3,405
bea speaks! i tried my best but i feel its lacking smth.... but i hope you still enjoy this!
🏁 ˚.ೃ࿔*:･
THE SOUND HIT YOU FIRST.
The crowd cheered as the drivers slid into their cars, preparing to line up at the start.
"Oh my god... Oh my god, there he is!" Minjeong squealed as she pointed toward the track. "If Jay wins today, I'm actually going to start crying. Like real tears."
You barely reacted, your eyes already on him. When the engines roared and began to speed up on the track, your eyes concentrated on Jay's car more than you should've.
“Wait—did you see that?” Minjeong gasped. “That turn? That was insane. He’s insane. I’m in love with him.”
You hummed quietly, not looking away. “Mm.”
She paused, then slowly turned to you.
"You’re being weird.”
That made you blink. “What?”
“You,” she pointed at you, narrowing her eyes dramatically, “are watching this like you actually care?"
You let out a small scoff, finally glancing at her. “I don’t.”
“Uh-huh,” she nodded, completely unconvinced, but not in a serious way. More like she found it funny. “You literally said, and I quote, ‘cars going in circles isn’t a sport.’”
“I mean—” you started, then faltered slightly, your gaze flickering back to the track for a split second. “It’s still kind of true.”
“Wow,” she gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “Say that a little louder so he can hear you and personally come up here to argue with you. He's the top one F1 driver after all.”
You huffed a quiet laugh. She has no idea.
Another lap passed, the crowd roaring again. All you could hear around you were people cheering for Jay, and you were starting to feel your cheeks flush. Finally, you got up from your seat and started cheering for Jay too.
“Ohhh my god,” she nudged you with her shoulder, teasing now. “Wait. Don’t tell me you’re becoming a fan.”
“I’m not.”
“You are,” she sang. “You totally are. I can feel it.”
“I’m literally not,” you insisted, but there was no real weight behind it.
“Next thing I know, you’re gonna be buying merch,” she continued, fully in her own world. “Matching hat with me, holding a little sign—”
“Relax,” you muttered, shaking your head.
She laughed, satisfied, already turning her attention back to the race like that settled it.
The checkered flag had just waved, and the roar of the crowd was starting to fade. The last of the cars pull to the pit, photographers ran to catch the drivers, and Minjeong was still screaming at the track, completely caught up in the chaos.
"Jay actually won first place!" she screams, jumping up and down as she celebrates Jay's victory.
You tugged at her sleeve, despite smiling wide. “I… need to use the bathroom. Be right back,” you murmured, and she barely looked up.
“Okay! Go, go, go!” she squealed, still not paying much attention to you.
You slipped away, ducking into the quieter corridors behind the stands. Your heart was pounding for a reason that had nothing to do with the cheering.
The back hallways—where the racers’ rooms and team areas were—were dimly lit and almost empty. Just enough time and space for you to get a glimpse of him, if you were careful.
You pressed yourself against the wall, tiptoeing down the corridor, glancing at the numbered doors. A few had light spilling out, staff moving in and out with equipment, but the hallway itself was largely empty.
Your pulse quickened as you crept forward. What were you even doing? Curiosity? Impulse? Or just a little thrill at the thought of seeing him again?
Tiptoeing to a corner, you peeked around.
“Hey.”
Your stomach dropped.
When you turned around, you saw Jay standing there, leaning casually against the wall with his arms crossed, smirking that familiar, annoying grin.
“You always this curious?” he said, voice low, teasing as he takes a few steps closer.
Your stomach flipped, cheeks warming. You straightened, letting a sly grin curl at your lips. "Yeah, I tend to do that when I find out I slept with a stranger who conveniently forgot to mention he’s a top F1 racer,” you said, letting the words hang in the air,
He chuckles, licking his lips as he raises his brows. “Would it have changed anything?”
You shrugged, stepping just a fraction closer, tilting your head. “Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to see if you’d notice me again.”
You’d barely finished your teasing comeback when faint footsteps echoed down the hallway. Jay’s eyes flicked toward the sound. “Looks like we’ve got company,” he murmured. Before you could react, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a tiny bathroom tucked behind the hallway.
The space was tight, and the air suddenly felt heavier. He hovered over you, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. His hand brushed against your hip, just lightly, making your stomach twist. Suddenly, he leaned in.
His lips were warm against yours, tongue intruding your mouth like he was hungry to taste you again. Jay's hands tangle in your hair as he deepens the kiss, pulling your head back slightly. He directs you toward the sink, helping you up as you sit on it, spreading your legs to let him stand between them.
"Missed you."
"Really?" you breath out between kisses.
He smirks against your lips, clearly unbothered by your response. His hands slide up your shirt to feel your bare skin as you shiver at his touch.
"Mm, you missed me too." He bites your bottom lip softly, tugging it between his teeth before soothing it with his tongue. His hands become more demanding, squeezing your sides possessively as he brings you closer to him, hips slightly grinding against each other.
He pulls away, looking at you with hunger in his eyes before attacking your neck with open-mouthed kisses. You quietly whimper, gasping when he bites your collarbone.
"Have you guys seen Jay? We're looking for him. The press starts in fifteen," you hear from outside the bathroom. Jay pulls away from you, huffing.
"Shit, I gotta go," he muttered, before kissing you again like he couldn't stop. "Meet me tonight. The Vanguard Hotel lobby."
Your heart sank at the short, heated moment, but before you could reply, he slipped out and disappeared into the hallway.
You stepped out of the tiny bathroom, heart still racing, cheeks hot. The paddock had started buzzing again as crowds of people started to exit the place, but your mind was still somewhere entirely different.
Minjeong caught sight of you almost immediately, rushing over with concern. “Hey! Are you okay? Did you… eat something weird last night or something?” she asked, squinting at your flushed face and slightly disheveled appearance.
You rolled your eyes, tugging lightly at her sleeve. “I’m fine,” you said, voice calm but a little sharper than usual. "Really. Let’s just get out of here before traffic gets bad.”
She frowned but laughed nervously, letting you guide her away from the paddock chaos. “Okay, okay, if you say so. But you’re acting kinda strange,” she teased, bumping your arm lightly as you walked.
A few hours later, your Uber pulled up in front of The Vanguard Hotel, the glass showcasing the elegance of the hotel. You paid the driver with shaky hands, stepping out onto the quiet sidewalk with your heart hammering in your chest. You couldn't wait to see him again.
The lobby was warm and softly lit, the faint hum of jazz music and distant conversations filling the space. You took a deep breath, brushing a strand of hair from your face, trying to calm the nervous flutter in your stomach.
“I hope he’s here,” you muttered under your breath, glancing around the lobby. Your pulse picked up as your eyes scanned for him.
You clutched the sleeves of your shirt a little tighter, heart thudding with anticipation.
Then you saw him.
Jay was sitting casually at the small bar in the corner, one elbow resting on the counter, the faint glow of the lamp highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw. His dark hair was slightly tousled, and his sleeves were rolled up, showcasing his toned forearms.
The moment your eyes met his, a shiver ran down your spine. He raised an eyebrow and gave you a subtle nod like he’d been waiting for you all along.
Your pulse raced, knees threatening to buckle, but you straightened your shoulders and tried to play it cool.
“Hey,” you greeted softly, your voice just above a whisper as you made your way toward him.
He didn’t get up, didn’t even move from his spot. He simply tilted his head slightly. “Took you long enough,” he murmured, voice low and intimate, only for you to hear.
You felt your cheeks heat, a mix of nerves and excitement buzzing through you. "I had to make sure the Uber didn’t dump me on the wrong side of the city,” you teased, trying to match his tone, though your heart was racing a mile a minute.
Jay leaned back in his chair , finishing the last of his drink before he grabbed your wrist, pulling you away at the bar. “Let’s go to my room, yeah?”
“Lead the way,” you said, letting yourself fall into step beside him. You were starting to feel some sort of déjà vu from the first night you met him.
As you turned a corner toward the elevators, he suddenly stopped, pressing you against the wall. His lips found yours in a deep, messy kiss, hands sliding to the small of your back, holding you close.
You gasped against him, knees weak. “Jay, let’s not do this in public,” you breathed, trying to pull back slightly.
He chuckled into your mouth, lips brushing yours with maddening teasing. “Where’s the fun in waiting?” he murmured, before finally letting go. “Fine. My room it is.”
The moment the elevator doors slid closed behind you, the world outside vanished. His hands immediately found your hips again, pinning you againts the elevator walls.
Jay groans softly when you bite his lip, his grip tightening on your waist to pull you flush against him. He reluctantly pull back just enough to try and find his keycard, chest heaving slightly.
Suddenly, the elevator chimed and the doors started to opened. You quickly pulled away in panic, standing next to him as you straighten your shirt. An elderly couple walked in and you stepped aside to let them in.
Jay cleared his throat, running his hand through his hair before reaching the seventh floor.
You finally arrive at his room when he pushes you against the door, capturing your lips as he struggles to scan the key card agasint the door. When it finally opens, he pushes you in, kicking the door shut behind you.
He walks you backwards toward his bed, kiss hungry and desperate from earlier's cockblock. Without breaking the kiss, he hikes up your shirt, hands immediatey roaming your bare back. He pulls back just enough to pull your shirt off over your head, his eyes raking over your body appreciatively.
His hands move to the button of your jeans, popping it open and pushing them down your legs along with your panties. He kneels down in front of you to help you step out of them, pressing a kiss to your hip bone before standing back up.
You shivered at the sudden contact, the feeling new. He chuckles lowly before pulling you back in for a kiss as he pushes you down onto the bed, falling with you. The slight weight of him on top of you felt suffocating, yet so good. His hands trail down your hips to grip your thigh as you quietly moan into his mouth.
When he pulls away, his eyes drop between your thighs hungrily. He stands up, pulling you to the edge of the bed as he leaves light kisses onto your thighs, inching closer to your heated core. He kneels as his hands part your thighs wider, ready to drown in you.
"So fucking pretty."
He buries his face between your thighs, tongue dragging slow and teasing through your folds. You can feel him inhale your scent before he licks another long, deliberate stripe, stopping to suck on your clit. His fingers trace lazy circles on your inner thigh as his tongue flicks against your sensitive bud.
When your hips jerk, he takes it as lead-way to pull your legs over his shoulders as he buries himself deeper between your legs. He eats you like a starving man, his tongue moving in rapid circles around your clit before pushing inside you.
You arch your back, moaning with pleasure when his nose bumps against your clit while his tongue continues to explore you. He moves relentlessly, loving the sounds you make as he pleasures you.
His hands held your thighs tight, keeping you right where he wants you.
He pulls back just long enough to leave a hot kiss against your thigh as it quivers, then dives back in with more intensity. You sit up on both arms, watching as he continues to fuck you with his tongue. He can feel you getting close, legs trembling and squeezing around him. As he continues to suck your bud, he adds two fingers to the mix, his free hand sliding up to pinch and roll your nipple.
It pushes you over the edge, and you let out a moan as the high washes over you. Your thighs clamp tight around his head as you cry out. Jay works you through it, his fingers pumping inside you at the same speed, his tongue lapping at your clit until you're trembling.
"J—Jay, too much," you breathe out, barely able to complete your sentence. You feel him chuckle against your core, the vibrations overstimulating. He gives one last suck before releasing with a loud pop sound.
His chin glistens with your arousal, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Just as delicious as I remembered."
Your chest heaves as you watch him climb back up your body, pressing his lips against yours. You can taste yourself on him as he kisses you slow. His erection presses hard against you through his tight pants, pure evidence of just how much he enjoyed that.
"Your turn," he growls against his mouth, flipping you over so you're hovering above him. "I think I deserve something for winning today."
You look down at his erection, seeing the imprint of his cock along with a wet mark from pressing against your core. The sight makes you whimper—he's so hard it's almost painful looking, the thick outline straining against his pants.
"Gonna stare all day, or are you gotta get this cock out?" he teases, hips bucking up slightly, his buldge rubbing againt your core again.
You unbuckle his belt slowly, unzipping his pants as you maintain eye contact. Something in Jay's eyes yelled desperation, but you wanted to tease him.
Finally, his thick cock springs free, slapping against his stomach. It's red and angry, leaking of precum just from eating you. He watches your face closely as you don't hesiate to lean down, taking him fully into your mouth. He's thick, long, and veiny, the kind of dick that makes women whimper.
He runs his hand through your hair, making a makeshift ponytail as he watches his dick slide through your soft, pink lips. His eyes roll back instantly, a low groan escaping him. He's so sensitive that even just your mouth wrapped around him is almost too much.
He whimpers when he feels his tip hit the back of your throat repeatedly. His hips buck involuntarily, forcing him deeper, head falling back in the process. His mouth falls open as he lets out a string of broken moans.
He struggles not to fuck your mouth mercilessly when you moan with his cock in your mouth.
"Baby—your mouth, holy fuck."
Jay's mind is blank, except for the sensation of your mouth on him. He's never felt anything so good in his life. His thighs began to twitch when he can feel your saliva dripping down his balls, the wet sound of you sucking him off.
You pull back to lick slowly up his shaft, twirling your tongue around his tip. His entire body tenses up, thighs shaking uncontrollably.
"Wait—hold on," he mutters, hand tightening in your hair to pull you off before he loses it completely. But you don't stop, taking him deeper.
Before you could pull away, his hot, thick cum shoots down your throat in long squirts. His body convulses repeatedly as you swallow it all down greedily.
"Congrats on first place. Was that celebration enough for you?"
He's still panting heavily, trying to catch his breath. His eyes are half-lidded, but he was still determined to be inside of you.
"Made me forget I was a world champion for like twenty seconds," he reponds, pulling you down onto him, his lips attaching to your neck in a split second. You slowly grind against him, his dick sliding throug your wet folds. When he finally pulls back, he's grinning mischeviously.
"Seriously, I'm starting to think if this is how I'll celebrate after every win, I might just keep winning forever."
His hands slide down your sides, turning you around so your back lays against the bed. He slowly grazes your hips before grabbing your thighs and pulling them apart. Jay settles between them, wrapping his arms under your legs to pull you closer. His lips press against your neck again, this time sucking hard enough to leave a mark.
You whimper loudly when he slides his cock against you, his tip bumping over your sensitive clit. He loves the way your eyes roll back, lips parting just enough to let your sweet moans through. If he could have you like this all the time, he would.
"Turn over," he says, more demanding than asking. You flip onto your hands and knees, feeling his hands slowly palm your ass as to soothe you. You feel him line up behind you, the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance.
He lets out a low grunt, causing you to look back at him. He leans forward, his chest against your back. He doesn't give you any warning, slamming his entire length into you in one hard thrust.
You cry out, your fingers clutching the sheets as he stretches you out completely. He stills for just a second to let you adjust to him. When you give him the greenlight, he starts moving immediately, snapping his hips forward with brutal force. Each thrust is deep and punishing, hitting a spot that makes your vision blur.
His hand reaches around to grab your throat gently while the other holds your hip firmly in place from falling. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping against skin and your muffled moans.
"Can't believe I get to do this again," he whispers before pulling out completely. You whimper, the empty feeling between your legs aching for more.
He turns you back around on your back, legs perched against his shoulders as he thrusts back into you. The new angle hits even deeper, and you couldn't help but cry out his name as you felt your orgasm getting closer with every thrust. His thumb circles on your clit roughly, inching you closer to the edge.
With one last thrust, he feels you clench tightly around him as you come undone, milking his cock. He slows his thrusts just enough to ride out your high, pressing kisses along your sweaty neck.
"I guess I have to keep winning from now on."
The next morning, you sat in the hotel lobby trying to steady the flutter in your chest. Your mind replayed the night, every touch, every heated kiss, every word. Could you find him again? Should you even try?
Footsteps echoed across the lobby, and you looked up to see him.
Jay, standing a few steps away, talking casually with a teammate, bag slung over his shoulder. The moment his eyes met yours, your breath catches in your throat. A subtle nod, a flicker of recognition.
That's it.
Just like you were one of his fans.
But before you could even think of approaching him, the van outside roared to life. Jay turned, slung his bag into the back, and slid into the car as it drove off.
─── we can uh-uh in it, while you drive it real far ⋆˚꩜｡
OR where you hooked up with the top f1 driver without knowing it.
🏎️ part 1 | part 2 | part 3
pairing: f1 driver!jay x f!reader
content + warnings: one night stand, smut, porn with plot, not proofread, car sex, just... filth, unprotexted p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), fingering, he picks up the phone in the middle of sex (gulp), oral (m receiving), cum eating, he's a head pusher, riding, a little bit of choking, just overall messy - lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 2.2k / 2,236
bea speaks! i HAD to write a short smut for this photo of jay like cleanup on aisle MY PANTS
🏁 ˚.ೃ࿔*:･
YOUR FRIENDS ARE SCREAMING OVER THE MUSIC, waving their drinks like trophies in celebration at the fact that you finally broke up with your boyfriend.
You laugh, tossing your hair back and letting the energy wash over the sting of the past few weeks. Freedom has never felt this intoxicating.
You settle at the bar, balacing a highball on one hand while scrolling through your phone with the other.
That's when you notice him.
Not like him, like your ex.
Him.
He leans against the far end of the bar, scanning the crowd like he owns the place, drink in hand, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Your chest skips when you realize he was looking back at you. The subtle tilt of his head, that flicker of amusement in his eyes. He already knows the game you're about to play.
"You come here often?" he calls over the bass of the music as he strides toward you.
You roll your eyes, smirking before you can even stop yourself. "No. But freedom tastes better than I thought."
"Getting over someone?" he asks, voice low enough that it only reaches you. "Or are you just celebrating that you finally realized you're better than them?"
You blink, caught off guard. "Careful, you're dangerously close to giving me a complex."
He chuckles, the sound vibrating deep in his chest. "Complexes are my specialty."
Your fingers curl around your drink. "I'll keep that in mind."
He leans on the bar beside you now, a smirk still plastered across his face. The way his proximity makes your pulse spike is infuriating. You’re supposed to be unattached, untouchable, free. And yet here he is, making it impossible.
“You always this… trouble?” he teases, eyes dark, scanning you like he’s memorizing every curve, every reaction.
“Maybe I just like to test limits,” you reply, tilting your head back slightly, meeting his gaze with equal fire.
His smirk grows. “Limits, huh? I think we could… uh… push them together.”
You choke back a laugh, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Dangerous, thrilling, stupid heat. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he says, leaning closer, voice low and intimate, barely over the music. “I think we could make things… interesting.”
Your heart thuds. The air between you feels suddenly tighter, charged. And even though part of your brain screams don’t do it, the rest of you leans in.
“Interesting how?” you ask, trying to sound casual but failing.
He smirks, one eyebrow raised. “Follow me. I’ll show you.”
Before you can process, he’s holding out his hand. Your pulse hammers in your ears. The crowd, the lights, the bass—all fade into background noise as your mind screams, what the hell am I doing?
He guides you out of the club, the night air hitting your damp skin like a shock. You blink against the streetlights, and that’s when you see it: a Lamborghini.
A sleek, gleaming, impossible sports car idling at the curb, headlights cutting through the dark like it’s alive. Your jaw drops.
“Oh my god…” you whisper, heart racing.
He leans casually against it, like it’s just another accessory, like this is all perfectly normal. “Get in,” he says, hand extended.
You hesitate, half in awe, half in disbelief. “Wait… is this… yours?”
He tilts his head, smirk widening. “Maybe. What’s it to you?”
Your brain freezes, but you slide in anyway when he opens the door. When you settle in, he drives off a bit to the end of the parking lot where it was empty. Every time you looked over at him, you could feel the space between your legs get hot.
You glance over, eyes wide, pulse hammering. “You… you could literally ruin me in this car, you know that?”
He leans closer, voice low and teasing. “Oh, I know. And I plan to.”
Giving you no time to react, his lips are immediately on yours as his hand cups your face. His lips are soft and insistent against yours. When you let out a small whimper, his hand tangles in your hair and pulls your head back slightly.
The leather seats smell new and expensive, mixing with his cologne that makes your head spin.
"Fuck, you're hot."
He pulls you back in again, kissing you deeper this time, his tongue sliding against yours. Your hands end up on his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath his silk button-up.
He shifts in the driver seat, pulling you onto his lap without breaking the kiss. You're straddling him now, the leather seat creaking softly as you grind against him.
One of his hands slide up your thigh and under your dress, fingers pressing into your warm skin.
"You trying to kill me?" he murmurs against your lips, breath hot. "Keep grinding like that."
You roll your hips instinctively, and he groans low in his throat. His grips tightens on your thighs, guiding your movement as his hand grips the base of your neck.
"Tell me your name," he breathes between kisses, teeth grazing your bottom lip. "Wanna know who I'm fucking in my Lambo."
You almost let out a moan, but held yourself together.
"You first," you whisper, pressing your forehead against his. His eyes are dark, jaw tightening.
"Jay." His thumb traces your jawline slowly. "Now yours."
His hips buck up against yours once, testing, nd you feel he's already hard beneath you. You moan your name against him, eyes fluttering closed as he starts kissing down your neck, teeth scraping over your pulse point. His hands roam your body possessively, one squeezing your ass when he completely slides your dress up to hike at your stomach.
Jay's teeth sink into your collarbone and you gasp. "Pretty name for a pretty girl."
He continues to kiss down your chest as his fingers run along the hem of your panties. He pulls it back just enough to snap it back.
You start to unbutton his shirt, eager to feel his toned chest with your bare hands. His fingers work quickly to unhook your bra and push the straps down your shoulders. He pauses, taking a moment to admire you before his mouth latches onto your nipple, sucking and biting gently. His hands grip your hips tightly as he rocks his hard length against you through his tight trousers.
"Jay, don't tease," you whimper, tangling your fingers through his hair as he continues to suck on your nipple, biting down harder when you grind a little too hard.
"Impatient, aren't you?" His voice is rough as he pulls back, eyes dark with lust. He pushes your thighs further apart with his, hands slipping between them to touch you through your soaked panties. You gasp when he lightly presses on your clothed clit.
"Fuck, you're already this wet?"
You nod, already submissive under his touch. His fingers slide beneath your panties, sliding them through your folds to lather your wetness. He lets out a quiet groan before pushing two fingers into you without warning.
His phone buzzes on the dashboard, but you hold his hand in place, keeping him there. "Don't."
He gives you a sly smirk, picking up his phone and answering it as his fingers continue to plow through you. You gasp quietly, hands flying up to cover your mouth.
"Hello?"
While you continue to grind on his fingers as he curls them, he gives you a slight smirk, loving how much you're enjoying this.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm just chilling in my car. Needed a break from the loud club," he chuckles darkly, keeping eye contact with you.
Your hips twitch as he starts picking up the pace, his thumb rubbing your clit, adding onto the pleasure.
"Yeah... no, dude. I just wanted some space alone," he continues on the phone. A quiet moan escapes your lips, causing Jay to stop. You whimper at the loss of movement, grinding your hips hard against his fingers, almost bouncing yourself up and down.
Jay continues pumping his fingers into you, curling his fingers just slow enough to get you drooling.
"Okay, I gotta go now. Bye."
His thumb presses hard on your clit as he throws his phone to the side, his lips moving to your ear, licking it with precision. You let out a whine, your thighs squeezing around his wrist as your orgasm crashes into you. He catches your mouth with his, fingers still slowly pumping inside of you as you clench around him.
He pulls out his fingers and the wet sound is embarrassingly loud. He holds up his glistening hand, smirking as you watch him bring it to his lips. He licks his fingers clean without breaking eye contact, the gesture filthy.
"My turn now," you whisper, hands flying towards his belt, but he catches you in a kiss again so you can taste yourself on his tongue. A moment passes, then you climb back over to the passenger seat. You lean over, unbuckling his belt as his cock springs free. He leans his head back against the headrest to watch you play with him.
He lets out a low groan when you gently touch his cock, his hands reaching over to roam your back. You start stroking him slowly, squeezing gently every time his hips jerk. He watches you through hooded eyes, jaw tight.
When your mouth wraps around him, his hand fists your hair and pushes you down a little deeper. His back arches off the seat, thighs tensing under you.
You pull back slightly and give his tip a few kitten licks before going down again, feeling him in the back of your throat. The thought of you taking him so well made him instinctively buck his hips, thrusting into your mouth gently.
"You take me so well, baby," he moans, hand gripping tighter around your hair. His voice is strained as you continue to suck him off, but then he stops you, pulling your head back.
"Need to be inside you."
His eyes were blown, watching the string of saliva connect from his red, mushroom tip to your glistening lips. You look up at him through your wet lashes, and he felt himself cum a little to the view.
He wraps his hands around your hips and pulls you back over to straddle him again. His cock is hard and leaking against your stomach as he gently kneads your boobs, latching onto your nipple. You grab his hard length, sliding it through your wet folds, teasing him before positioning him at your entrance.
You both look down as you watch his cock slowly disappear into you, the slick sounds of your juices echoing too loudly. His hands find your hips, pushing you down onto him roughly. A loud moan escapes from between your lips as you hold onto his shoulder as an anchor.
You gasp as he starts to thrust up into you, hips slamming against yours. His free hand comes to cup around your neck, bringing you in for another rough kiss, tongue immediately intruding your mouth.
"You always do this?" you pull away just enough to ask.
He doesn't answer. He just pulls your knees up so your feet are flat on the seat, the angle making him hit deeper inside you.
"Don't get to do this much."
He kisses your mouth hungrily, biting your lip hard as he continues to fucks into you relentlessly.
"I'm so close," you moan out as he starts thrusting erratically. His hand grabs your hair, pulling your head back to leave hot kisses on your neck. When he bites on your neck, the knot in your stomach tightens, your vision turning white. He loses control at your loud moan, hips snapping up brutally as he comes deep inside of you with a groan.
"Holy fuck," he breathes out as his dick twitches, continuing to leak inside of you. He pulls you in for one last kiss as he helps you off of his dick, watching his thick cream drip out of you and soaking the seat.
The next day, you're sitting in the car with your friend Minjeong as you made your way to the F1 tournament. Having sex with Jay yesterday still engraved your mind, and you couldn't stop thinking about how he fucked you until you were sore.
Literally, Minjeong asked if you twisted an ankle at the club last night.
When you arrive at the F1 circuit, you follow your friend inside, not really caring for the event. You more-so came because she needed a plus-one since another friend bailed today.
She immediately drags you to the paddock entrance where fans were already crowding behind the barriers, waiting for the drivers to arrive. Luckily, you were able to find a spot right behind the bars on the side.
Minutes passed and finally all the drivers were walking out. Even though you didn't necessarily like F1, just the adrenaline of knowing you were able to say hi to some of them made you happy.
When the last driver walked out, the crowd got louder—if that was even possible—and you turn your head to look.
Jay.
He walks out, smiling and waving at the crowd when he locks eyes with yours. It lasted longer than a few seconds, but you knew he was thinking about last night too.
Minjeong turned to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you as she screams.
─── if you really need me, you gotta love me harder ⋆˚꩜｡
OR where you and heeseung have always been best friends, so when things turn into friends-with-benefits, neither of you talk about it. but once you start giving attention to another man, he realizes he's losing what he needed most.
pairing: best friends with benefit!heeseung x f!reader
content + warnings: friends-with-benefits, she falls first but he falls harder, smut, angst, porn with plot what's new, not proofread, switch!heeseung, switch!reader, drunk sex, kitchen sex, oral (both receiving), riding, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, angry and jealous sex mhmm, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, face riding, thigh fucking, nipple play, use of "good girl" - let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 8.1k / 8,167
bea speaks! when this is how i continue to cope... dada come back pls pls
.✦ ݁˖
"H—Heeseung," you moan as your hand pushes him closer to where you need him most.
He gently swats your hand away, giving you a teasing smirk before pressing soft, lingering kisses along your inner thigh to avoid your heated core.
"I thought you were supposed to be enjoying yourself," he murmurs against your skin, but then rises to engulf you in a kiss again. You can taste the soju on his tongue, reminding you of how you got here in the first place.
Heeseung pulls away, reading your face like he knows something is up.
"You're overthinking again, aren't you?"
"No, keep going," you reassure, kissing him once more before he smirks and leaves a hot trail of open-mouth kisses down your chest, stopping above your core. With half-lidded eyes, you watch as he slowly gives in, his tongue sliding slowly up your center, deliberate and wet.
He doesn't rush. Your hips jerk with every lick when his hands hold you down with a firm grip every time you try to buck.
You close your eyes, letting yourself melt against him, but suddenly your mind snaps back to reality.
We're literally best friends. We were just drinking, and now he's tasting me.
Your heart starts hammering, and your cheeks heat up despite the way Heeseung is currently flicking his tongue at your bud, your senses heightened. His lips move with lazy precision entirely focused on you as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
Does he even realize? you think, a mix of thrill and panic flowing through you. You want to stop him and say something because of the lines you just crossed, but the feeling of him keeps your words lodged somewhere in your throat.
Before your thoughts can go any further, Heeseung suddenly pulls back, his hands sliding down your sides.
"Your eyes were closed for too long," he murmurs, then shifts to stand between your legs. The couch sinks as he sits next to you, pulling you onto his lap. He adjusts you, positioning you so that you're straddling him.
His eyes meet yours, filled with a mix of amusement and desire. "You don't even know how much I wanted this," he murmurs, low and rough, and before you can even respond he's pulling you into a heated kiss.
It's not gentle. Not teasing. It's teeth and tongue, the kind of urgency that makes your head spin.
"I want you to watch this time. No closing your eyes, no drifting off into your own world. Watch me."
Heeseung's hands move down to grip your ass, encouraging you to grind against his hard length trapped in his boxers. The sudden friction makes you gasp in his mouth, a string of saliva connecting your lips as you pull away.
He smirks and leans back slightly, letting his head fall against the couch. He looks up at you through his lashes, hands still guiding you. As you continue to grind against him, he slowly starts to pull his boxers down to reveal his hard length. He wraps a hand around it, pumping it as he looks up at you.
"Come here," he whispers, using his free hand to guide you over so you're hovering over him. "Sit on it."
You hold onto one of his shoulders as you position yourself over his cock, the tip brushing your entrance. He doesn't push you down but let you feel how hard he is.
"I want you to sink down slowly," he instructs softly, thumbs massaging your hips. You both look down, watching as you lower yourself onto him inch by inch. Heeseung groans, eyes rolling back for just a second before snapping back up to meet yours.
"Fuck—that's it," he breathes, one hand sliding up to grip your waist as the other tangles in your hair and tilt your head back. "Bounce on it for me."
You nod, moving quicker. As a nod of approval, he leans back and lets you have full control. His eyes drop to watch where you two connect, his thick cock disappearing inside you slowly with each bounce.
"You're so fucking pretty like this."
The sudden praise makes you ride harder, quicker—anything to get him to finish quicker. His expression darkens as you pick up the pace, your breasts bouncing in his face. A low groan escapes him as he wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you down harder onto his cock with each thrust.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
He leans forward, sucking your nipple into his mouth as he hits that perfect spot inside of you. You whimper loudly, your breath heaving with every bounce.
"I'm gonna come inside you if you keep riding me like that," he warns.. He thrusts, meeting you halfway; they become erratic as he starts getting close to his high.
A pornographic moan leaves your lips as one of his hands slips between your bodies to rub your clit in rough circles. The knot inside of you becomes tighter, getting you closer to reaching your high.
Heeseung's head falls back, exposing sweat dripping down his neck and you feel his cock twitching inside of you. With a loud grown, he buries himself deep inside you and comes hard, streams of hot cum filling you up. His fingers work furiously on your clit until you're crying out your own release, convulsing around his cock.
He stays buried inside you, breathing heavily. Slowly, he presses a soft kiss to your neck, then another to your shoulder.
"Still overthinking?"
The next morning, the sunlight hits your face. You blink again slowly and start to become aware of the warmth beneath you—and the fact that Heeseung's arms are wrapped around you. Naked. On your couch.
You brain fires in every direction at once. Heeseung groans, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Morning," he mutters, voice hoarse.
You sit up quickly, covering yourself with a throw blanket, and your eyes land on the coffee table. Empty soju bottles. Scattered shot glasses.
Your heart drops.
Heeseung finally sits up too, running a hand through his messy hair.
"I think... we got too carried away last night," he admits, smirking despite the hangover. You groan, burying your face in your hands. "We can't—we will never talk about this ever again. Promise?"
Heeseung leans back casually. "Promise. But, I mean, I enjoyed it. And I know you did too."
Your eyes snap up at him. "What?"
He chuckles, leaning closer. "I'm just being honest."
A few days have passed since the couch incident. Things have been quieter than usual, but you're not sure if it was because of pure embarrassment, or because you both enjoyed it way more than you could admit.
Heeseung [7:04 PM]: Hey. Need some help decorating for Jungwon's birthday party tomorrow. Come over?
You roll your eyes despite knowing you'd say yes anyway.
You [7:05 PM]: Fine. But don't be weird.
When you arrive at his apartment, it smells faintly of leftover take out he probably had before you arrived. Heeseung's already surrounded by decorations with a banner in his hand, giving you a ridiculous "I'm in charge" grin as you walk towards him.
"Perfect timing," he says, pointing to the scattered streamers and balloons. "I need someone to, y'know, make sure I don't fuck this up."
You start to unpack the decorations to lay them out, but every so often, Heeseung would lean close to show you a certain placement or to ask your opinion on something else. Every time he gets close, your chest does a little jump that you can't control.
By the time the last balloon is in place and the balloons are hanging evenly, you both collapse onto the couch, exhausted. Heeseung stretches out beside you, arm draped lazily over the backrest as you sink into the couch with a long sigh.
"Why did you choose to host it here again? It's going to be a pain taking all of this down," you complain.
He shrugs, giving you a smile—a "you're-helping-me-clean-up" smile.
You shake your head and look away to hide the blush on your cheeks. As you sit there, you try to shove every memory of that night aside, but it's impossible. The feeling of him beneath you, his hands gripping your hips, the low groans, the way he looked at you. The way he said "you don't even know how much I wanted this."
Your head shoots back to look at him, cheeks flushed. He leans in closer, enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. Before you can process it, his lips are on yours.
It's sudden and desperate, the kind that drags every thought out of your mind. Your hands tangle in his hair; his arms pull you flush against him. The couch creaks beneath you, a reminder of all the things you've been pretending to ignore.
When you finally break for air, you let out a shaken sigh. "We can't keep doing this," you whisper, although the tremor in your voice betrays just how badly you want to.
Heeseung smirks against your lips. "Who said anything about stopping?"
You stand up and try to run to the bathroom, but Heeseung was quicker, his hand catching your wrist to stop you. He turns you around and takes a step closer, his free hand reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
"You didn't complain when you were riding my cock. Not a single word. Now you want to change the rules?"
Your lips part to say something, but nothing escapes from between them. Heeseung noticed it.
"So unless you're seriously telling me you don't want this anymore," his hand slowly creeps under your shirt, holding your waist. "I'm going to keep doing exactly what we both want."
Without letting another second pass, you pull him in for a kiss, tongues clashing immediately. His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against his body as he deepens the kiss, walking you backwards until you hit the wall. He lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist automatically.
He breaks the kiss to leave open-mouthed kisses down your neck. A soft moan escapes your lips, already feeling a familiar wetness pool in between your legs.
Heeseung groans against your neck as he brings you to his bedroom, the familiar smell of his cologne filling the room. Within seconds, you're falling onto his bed as he follows, gently pressing his weight against you.
His hand grips your thigh, spreading them open as his other hand easily slides under your skirt, fingers hooking onto your panties. He looks at you with a sly smirk on his face, seeing the wet mark from your flowing juices.
Before you could react, he pushes two fingers inside you, pumping slowly. You clench around his fingers, the feeling already making you see stars. You're too far gone at this point to tell him to stop.
He curls his fingers upward, hitting that spot inside you that makes your vision blur. When you start to grind on his fingers, he pulls his fingers out with a wet pop, bringing them to his mouth to suck them clean while keeping eye contact.
"Taste so fucking good," he murmurs, voice thick with lust. Wanting to take control, he lets you push him down easily, switching positions. He spreads his arms out to the sides, giving you full access as your lips attach to his neck, leaving a faint mark. A soft grunt escapes his lips when you suck lightly on his pulse point.
His hands fist the sheets beside him as you continue your trail downwards, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. When you finally finish unbuttoning him, the sight of his toned abs and chest almost makes you fold, finishing right then and there.
Heeseung's chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath. He's completely at your mercy right now, laying there as he waits for you to continue. His hand reaches up to grab your wrists gently when you don't move.
"Keep going," he whispers, begging almost.
You lean down to leave a gentle kiss on his lips as your hand trails down his chest, stopping right at his belt. He shivers slightly when your cold hand brushes against his abdomen, tongue sliding against yours slow.
There's a small whimper in the back of your throat when you feel him get harder against your palm, twitching with every rub. He breaks the kiss to watch you toy with him.
"Go ahead," he breathes, lifting his hips slightly off the bed. Just as your hand begins to trail lower again, Heeseung's lips part, eyes half-lidded, completely lost in you.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
He freezes, a strangled groan leaving him as his hips twitch uselessly against your hand.
"Ignore it. Probably the delivery dude," he murmurs, half-laughing.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Then you hear it. It's Jake's voice form outside the door.
"Yo, Heeseung! I know you're home!"
Heeseung groans, burying his face in the pillow, frustrated beyond belief. You bite back a laugh, squeezing his thigh tightly. He grits his teeth, hand gripping the sheets clearly torn between finishing this and answering the door. His cock twitches against your palm as you teasingly continue the job.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he mutters, voice mixed with frustration and lust.
"Maybe a little," you tease, leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth before pulling back. "But you should go answer it before he gets too suspicious."
He groans again. "Motherfucker."
Heeseung drags himself off the bed, telling you to wait here. You watch as he readjusts his pants, not caring for his unbuttoned shirt.
As soon as he opens the door, Jake's voice booms through. "Bro, took you long enough."
"Dude... I was shitting. The takeout did a number on me."
Jake blinks, then snorts. "Of course it did. Anyway, I just needed to drop off the cake for Jungwon's birthday tomorrow."
After a few moments, Heeseung returns with Jake on his way back home. You chuckle and shake your head when he falls onto the bed, disappointment flowing through his veins.
"Ugh... I was so close too," he mutters, mentally taking notes on how to take Jake down for cockblocking. You arch an eyebrow, a mischevious smirk playing on your lips.
"Who said we have to stop?" you tease, mimicking his voice from last time. He immediately shot up, eyes narrowing playfully, and then his lips are on yours again.
The next day, you find yourself walking up to Heeseung's apartment, a mix of nerves and anticipation twisting in your stomach. You keep telling yourself to keep composure; only you and Heeseung knows.
By the time you knock, your hands are slightly sweaty, and your heart is pounding. Heeseung opens the door immediately, grinning like nothing happened.
"Hey, you're late."
"Yeah... traffic," you lie smoothly, forcing a casual smile as he gives you a knowing look. Heeseung steps aside, letting you pass, but not before he brushes against your side slowly.
"Glad you finally showed up," he says lowly, almost caging you in to the wall. You thank that there was a small closet across the front door so the others couldn't see behind the wall.
You roll your eyes and take a deep breath before taking a step past Heeseung, trying to throw away the butterflies in your stomach. The living room is alive with chatter, music, and laughter.
Everyone turns towards you as you walk in.
"Hey! You're here!" Jungwon calls, his energy to the max. You grin and wave, wishing him a happy birthday as you step closer.
His eyes sparkle. "I want you to meet my friend Riki," he says, gesturing toward a tall guy leaning casually against the kitchen counter. RIki steps forward, extending his hand, but there's something in his eyes that makes your chest tighten unexpectedly.
You shake his hand, forcing a polite smile. "Nice to meet you."
Out of the corner of your eye, Heeseung shifts slightly, his expression tightening just enough that you notice. After a flicker of something—jealousy, maybe?—crosses his features, he smooths back into his usual grin when Jake approaches him.
The night flows on, and you find yourself laughing more than you expected. Having a conversation with Riki was easy. He's funny, sharp, and easy to talk to. Before you know it, you're completely absorbed in getting to know him.
"So... you're really good at keeping up with Jungwon but still look well, put together," he says, nodding towards Jungwon.
You laughter lightly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "Thanks. I've some practice surviving being around him," you reply, smiling genuinely.
Riki leans a little closer, lowering his voice so only you can hear over the music. "I bet you're even more fun when you're not trying to be polite," he teases, his eyes glinting with mischief.
You feel your cheeks warm up, caught off guard by his comment. When you look away from shyness, you catch Heeseung leaning against the wall over Riki's shoulder. His arms are crossed, watching you like a hawk, his jaw slightly tight.
Heeseung pushes off the wall and starts walking toward you. Riki notices too as his gaze follows your line of vision, and his grin falters when Heeseung gets closer.
"Hey," Heeseung says casually, "mind if I steal her for a second?"
Riki raises an eyebrow, stepping back with a shrug as he realizes the unspoken rules. "Uh... sure, I guess," he says carefully before walking away.
Heeseung smirks at you, nodding his head toward the hallway. "Bathroom?"
You laugh softly, heart racing. "Yeah, but not for too long."
The door clicks shut behind you, shutting out the noise of the party. The small bathroom suddenly feels too small, just the two of you and the quiet hum of the ventilation fan.
Heeseung presses you gently against the counter, his body just close enough to remind you of last night. His hands rest on either side of you, trapping you with that familiar heat.
"You know," he starts, "I didn't like seeing you so... entertained by someone else."
You bite your lip, heart racing. "I wasn't..." you trail off, the words catching in your throat when he leans in, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
He lets out a low chuckle, seeing the flush rising in your cheeks. "Relax," he says, voice teasing, but there's an edge of something darker. "I just want my attention."
You can feel the tension radiating off him, and it’s making your pulse spike. The familiar pull you feel toward him is almost painful.
You laugh nervously, leaning into him. "I thought you were busy with the party. You're the host after all."
He tilts his head, lips brushing your temple. "The party's fine," he mumbles. "I can handle it. But you need to stop teasing me like that."
The way he says it low, is rough, loaded with unspoken frustration. You realize he’s not just teasing; he’s trying not to admit something.
Your breath hitches when his hand slides along your waist, trailing down to toy with the hem of your dress.
"I'm not doing anything," you insist, though your voice is shakier than you want.
Heeseung leans closer, pressing a kiss just below your ear. "Uh-huh," he says. "Sure you're not."
His lips brush against your skin again, and your thoughts spin: you shouldn’t want this, but your body betrays you with every brush and sigh.
His eyes darken as he finally leans in, brushing his lips against yours in a slow kiss. At first, it’s gentle, testing the waters, but there’s a tension under it like he’s holding back, fighting the pull he can’t deny.
Your hands instinctively find their way to his chest, tugging him closer as his tongue brushes lightly against yours. Teasing, that familiar mix of urgency and control that makes your heart race.
Just as the kiss grows more heated, a loud laugh from the living room breaks the trance. Heeseung groans softly, pulling back with an annoyed expression.
"Shit... not now," he mutters, pecking your lips once more before stepping back.
You step out of the bathroom side by side, adjusting your dress as Heeseung follows behind. The loudness of the party washes over you, but the heat between you two hasn’t cooled yet.
As you walk back into the living room, Jungwon waves you over, clearly still buzzing with excitement. "Finally! I thought you disappeared!" he laughs.
It feels like centuries have passed since you last saw Heeseung. Something inside you ached for him, but you remind yourself he’s only your best friend.
You scroll through your phone with hesitation before typing a quick message.
You [4:56 PM]: Hey, you busy tonight?
Almost immediately, his reply pops up.
Heeseung [4:56 PM]: Not tonight. Have a date with Mei.
Your chest tightens, a little pang of disappointment twisting inside you. You stare at the screen, biting your lip. Part of you wants to hate him for being calm, for acting like it’s nothing, but another part—your selfish, frustrated part—wants him to fight for you.
You [5:01 PM]: Oh, okay. Have fun then!
Heeseung replies with a winky face emoji. You can feel your shoulders slump despite yourself, wishing for a spark of jealousy from him, just a hint that you mattered more than you’re pretending.
A few hours pass as you watch movies to occupy your brain. While cleaning up the snacks, your phone buzzes.
Heeseung [9:31 PM]: Done with the date. Come over?
Your heart leaps before your brain can protest. The answer is obvious.
When the door opens, Heeseung doesn’t hesitate to pull you in, pressing you flush against the door as his lips immediately find yours. He kisses you sloppily, desperate, hands gripping your waist tightly enough to bruise. There’s a sharp edge in his urgency, like he’s trying to claim what’s his before it’s too late.
You pull back slightly, needing air. You catch a whiff of floral perfume on his neck; not yours. Something foreign. Yet, his hands grip onto you like you’ll leave if he loosens his hold.
"Looks like you already had your fun with Mei," you reply, slowly pulling away further from him.
"Don’t," he warns immediately, voice low, pleading, but his body contradicts the words, grinding against you as if needing to erase the space between you.
Heeseung continues, "That was nothing. Just dinner. We didn’t—"
He kisses you again, harder, like he can erase the evidence that easily.
"You taste better."
He pulls back, jaw clenched, eyes conflicted. You see the struggle in his expression: the fight between reason and want, between denial and need.
"You know what this is. We’re only friends having fun," he breathes.
Hearing him say it knocks the wind out of you, but your mind drifts when he lifts your shirt over your head without waiting for a response. Your heart races and not just for the touch, but because he’s exposing a vulnerability you didn’t expect him to show.
He tosses your shirt aside before his mouth latches onto your neck, sucking hard in a spot that makes your knees weak.
“Heeseung…” you murmur, voice trembling, both from desire and from the tension you feel between the two of you.
His hands are rough as he unclasps your bra, kneading your breasts while leaving a soft trail of kisses along your collarbone. He looks at you like you’re the only person in the world, and you realize you’ve never wanted someone like this, like you want him right now.
"Bedroom," he growls, and you follow.
Before he even closes the door, he grabs your hand, holding it against his chest. “You know,” he murmurs, voice low and intimate, “I don’t like doing it with anyone else. Even if it’s just a date… I don’t like it.”
You glance up at him, heart hammering. “I’m not yours,” you whisper, but the words feel hollow even as you say them.
Heeseung smirks, a dangerous, knowing smirk. “Not yet,” he corrects, his hand sliding down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. “But you will be.”
Your legs tremble as he pushes you onto the bed, climbing on top. The familiar smell of his cologne, mixed with the faint scent of that floral perfume still lingering on his skin, makes your head spin. You can feel him pressing closer, his hands tracing the curves of your body as if memorizing them all over again.
Heeseung’s fingers hook under your panties, sliding them down with a teasing pull.
“God, I’ve wanted this so badly,” he breathes, lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
He positions himself between your legs, sliding in slowly. The warmth, the pressure—everything about him is familiar, yet every touch feels electric.
“During the date…” he groans, hips pressing in, “I couldn’t stop thinking about this. About you. About me.”
Your chest tightens at his words, a mix of guilt and desire.
“You… should’ve told me,” you murmur, voice catching.
Heeseung’s thrusts slow.
“And ruin the fun of making you want me even more? Never.” His lips find yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, teeth and tongue colliding.
Your hands clutch his shoulders as he moves with a perfect rhythm, eyes locked on yours the entire time. “You’re mine,” he whispers between kisses.
You moan, breath hitching, your body responding before your brain can even protest. “Heeseung… I—”
Your fingers dig into the sheets as he sets a steady, urgent pace, each thrust hitting deeper than the last.
“I can’t… I can’t hold back anymore,” he groans, voice ragged, eyes darkened with need. “I need you so badly.”
You tremble, nails digging into his back, body aching as you ride the wave of his intensity. “I need you too,” you admit breathlessly, finally letting yourself give in to what you’ve wanted all along.
The next time you see Heeseung, it's under completely different circumstances. The air is cooler than you expected, a soft breeze brushing past as you walk beside him. Your hands are tucked into your sleeves, trying to seem casual but your chest is too full of nerves to pretend.
"So," you start, trying to sound casual, "Riki and I are going out this weekend."
Heeseung stops mid-step, his body stiffening just enough to catch your attention.
"Like, Jungwon's friend? You're serious?" His eyes flick to yours, sharp and guarded.
You shrug. "Yeah. Why?"
He lets out a low scoff and shakes his head, kicking at a small rock on the path, jaw tight, voice quieter now. "I don't know. I just think—" He cuts himself off, exhaling sharply.
"You can do better."
There it is. You almost laugh, but it comes out softer than expected. You glance at him, noticing how he’s clenching his fists at his sides, the veins in his neck standing out slightly.
"You keep saying that," you reply, but he only responds with a shrug.
"Because it’s true." Heeseung keeps walking, but there’s a hesitation in his step, like he’s debating whether to continue or turn back.
You stop walking. He notices immediately, turning back slightly, eyes narrowing. You can see the conflict in his expression—anger, jealousy, something deeper he’s trying to hide.
"What?"
You tilt your head, studying him. "Better how?"
He opens his mouth—then closes it again. "I just mean..." he starts, running a hand through his hair, suddenly restless. "You don't have to settle."
"Settle?" Your brow furrows, a mix of curiosity and amusement.
He finally looks at you, and the pause stretches out long enough that your heart starts to hammer. "For Riki?"
His eyes search yours, just for a second, as if he’s hoping you’ll change your mind without him having to say more.
The way his expression shifts is all the answer you need. You knew what he was thinking, yet you wanted to hear him say it to you like he does whenever you're underneath him.
You step closer. "Is it because you don’t like the idea of me going out with someone else?"
Heeseung shifts uncomfortably, brushing his shoulder against yours almost by accident, and then quickly pulls back, like he doesn’t want to admit it. "It’s not like that."
"Then what?"
"You're joking," he says, letting out a disbelieving laugh, but there’s tension in his shoulders, in the way he fidgets with the cuff of his sleeve.
You don’t laugh.
You see the flicker of something deeper crossing his face, but instead of stepping forward, he takes a step back, shaking his head. His eyes drop to the path, avoiding yours, and his jaw tightens as if holding back more than words.
"You don't mean that," he mutters under his breath. "You're just—"
"What?" you press.
"Confused," he finishes, quieter now. "This thing between us... it's not—"
He gestures vaguely between the two of you like he can’t even say it properly. "It's really not that serious," he chuckles, but the corners of his mouth twitch as if he’s holding back irritation—or something worse.
There it is. The distance he keeps forcing between you. Your stomach flips, but you nod slowly, forcing yourself to match his tone.
"Right," you say. "Not that serious."
He looks back at you, and for a split second, his eyes soften before hardening again, betraying a flicker of regret.
Then he moves past you, resuming his walk, but you don’t miss how he stays rooted a second too long, like part of him wants to turn back. Your fingers twitch, almost reaching out, but you stop yourself.
The weekend arrives, and you find yourself sitting across from Riki at a small café. He’s animated, telling a story about Jungwon’s last mishap at a karaoke bar, and you laugh genuinely, but every time you do, your mind flashes to Heeseung’s smirk, the way his lips curl when he teases you, the memory of last time's heat and desperate kisses.
“So… you’re laughing a lot,” Riki teases, reaching across the table to tap your hand. “Do I get points for making you smile?”
You force a smile, nodding. “Yeah… you’re pretty funny.” But in the back of your mind, you can’t stop thinking about how Heeseung makes you laugh without even trying, how just his presence can make your chest feel tight.
The date continues—walking through the park, Riki’s hand brushing against yours once or twice. Your fingers twitch instinctively at the thought of Heeseung’s hands on you, the way he held you so close, so possessively, that it burned into your memory.
Riki leans closer, lowering his voice. “I’ve been meaning to ask… what do you like in a guy?”
You freeze slightly, caught off guard. Your heart skips because you automatically think of Heeseung, not Riki—the way he teases you, the rough kisses, the familiar heat.
“I… uh…” you trail off, chewing your lip, trying to focus. “I guess… someone confident. Someone who knows what they want.”
Riki smiles, oblivious to the fact that every fiber of your being thinks about Heeseung at that very moment. You imagine Heeseung saying the exact same words, leaning closer, voice low and rough, eyes dark. The comparison makes your stomach flutter and your chest ache all at once.
Later, the two of you sit in Riki’s car when he's dropping you off, the engine idling as rain begins to patter lightly against the windows. Somewhere along the way, he turned towards you, closing the distance, lips brushing yours in a soft, tentative kiss.
You respond, because it’s Riki—but your mind immediately drifts to Heeseung: the way he kisses like he’s claiming you, the rough urgency, the teasing murmurs, the way he made your body react without hesitation.
Riki moves his hand to the back of your neck, and you can feel his warmth, his closeness, but you can’t stop thinking of Heeseung’s hands sliding down your sides, gripping your hips, and the flutter in your stomach is impossible to ignore.
The kiss deepens, Riki leaning into you, but your thoughts betray you. You imagine Heeseung’s lips on your neck, his teeth grazing your pulse, the moans you could barely hold back in the quiet of his apartment.
You pull slightly back, blinking at him. “Sorry… I—uh… we should slow down.”
Riki frowns, a little disappointed but nods. You clear your throat and give him one last, soft kiss before bidding your goodbyes with him.
As you opened the door to your apartment, you checked your phone, seeing it was already almost midnight. The notifications flooded in and one caught your eye.
Heeseung [Missed Call 9:07 PM]
Your heart skips a beat. You weren't sure if it was an accident, or because he knew you were going out with Riki today.
You [12:02 AM]: Hey sorry I missed your call
Heeseung [12:02 AM]: Thought I'd check in. How was your date?
Your fingers froze on the keyboard. Even the way he texts, asking about the date with Riki made you want to throw up.
You [12:04 AM]: It was fine. He's a nice guy.
Heeseung [12:04 AM]: Fine? Not great or fun?
You bite your lip, remembering Riki’s lips on yours in the car, but every time you try to focus, your mind betrays you. You see Heeseung—his hands gripping your hips, his voice low and rough, his lips claiming yours.
You [12:05 AM]: I just didn't want to rush things with him so... it was fine.
Heeseung [12:06 AM]: Had to make sure you weren't thinking about me
Your chest tightens. Of course he knows. He always knows. You stare at the screen, heart hammering, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
You [12:07 AM]: Maybe… a little.
Heeseung [12:08 AM]: A little? That doesn’t sound like you.
You feel a flush creeping up your neck. Even while kissing Riki, even while holding his hand in the car, it had all felt wrong because it wasn’t Heeseung. You can’t stop thinking about his lips, his urgency, the way he made your body react without hesitation.
You [12:10 AM]: Okay… fine. It was you I was thinking about.
The screen goes quiet for a moment. You hold your breath, heart thumping like it might burst. Then his reply comes, short but heavy.
Heeseung [12:11 AM]: Figures.
Figures.
Just one word, and yet it makes your stomach flutter and ache all at once. He’s there in your mind, in every thought, and now he’s here through the screen, igniting everything you’ve been trying to push aside.
You [12:12 AM]: Do you wanna come over?
Heeseung [12:13 AM]: Yeah. Already on my way.
You drop your phone on the counter, rushing to the kitchen to find a drink to distract yourself. Within minutes, you hear the familiar knock.
You open the door, and there he is: Heeseung, a little rumpled, hair messy from the night air, expression cautious, unreadable but his eyes flick to yours the second you step inside.
“Hey,” he says softly.
“Hey,” you reply, forcing a smile.
Heeseung steps inside, taking off his jacket. You fall into step beside him as he moves toward the kitchen, the small space forcing you to walk shoulder to shoulder. The air is thick with awkwardness, neither of you saying a word, yet every brush of his arm against yours sends a jolt through your body.
Heeseung leans against the counter, his body angled just enough that you’re trapped in a quiet corner of the kitchen.
“So… Riki,” he finally says, voice low, calm but there’s a sharp edge you can’t ignore.
Of course he’s going there.
“Yeah…” you start, shrugging, trying to play it casual. But then, without thinking, you launch into all the little details.
“He’s so kind and caring. And he knows exactly how to make me laugh. And he brought me these stupid little chocolates…” You keep talking, gesturing with your hands, caught up in the memories.
Heeseung shifts slightly closer, the space between you shrinking, his body pressing almost right against yours as he leans on the counter. You notice the jaw tightening, the slight darkening of his eyes with every word.
You keep going, oblivious, or maybe too aware.
“And when we were in the car, he… he kissed me. And it wasn’t just a kiss. It was like he really wanted me, y’know? And I couldn’t stop smiling because it felt—"
Before you could finish, Heeseung's hand shoots up to cup your cheek, tilting your head slowly as his lips crash onto yours. Your eyes widen, but you melt into the kiss.
His body presses flush against yours, leaving no space, no room for anything, or anyone else. His hands move to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as his lips demand yours, urgent and raw.
You try to pull back, just a little, but his forehead rests against yours, his breath hot, his eyes dark with something fierce, something he can’t stand hearing anymore.
“You…” he breathes against your lips, voice rough. “I cannot bear you talking about him.”
Your heart stutters, caught between shock, want, and that undeniable pull toward him. Every protest dies in your throat as he deepens the kiss, as if to erase every thought of Riki from your mind.
His lips are demanding against yours, tongue pushing past your lips to silence anything else you had to say. You can feel his hands trembling softly as they cup your face, almost like he was too scared to even touch you.
"Don't," he pants, "Don't go back to him."
His hand tangles in your hair knowing you love when he does that. His lips find yours again as he lifts you up on the counter, standing between your legs. You can feel the heat pooling between them, but your mind was too clouded to think any further.
Heeseung breaks the kiss into a trail of hot, wet kisses down your neck until he reaches your collarbone, not stopping because he has you right he wants you.
He pops open your jeans and pull them down, letting them drop to the floor.
"I can't stand the thought of him kissing you."
His voice breaks slightly as he runs his hands over your bare hips, then pulls you flush against him so you can feel him hard against your stomach.
"Only I get to kiss you like that," he breathes, "Only I get to touch you. Only I get to—"
You interrupt him, pulling him back down by his shirt, attaching your lips to his. His hand slides down between your thighs, palming your pussy over your panties. He grinds his palm, making you gasp.
Before you can protest, he pushes your panties aside and slips two fingers inside you, making you cry out against his mouth. Your hands fly back to hold yourself up on the counter as you feel him pump his fingers faster, curling to hit the spot.
His thumb rubs against your clit while he mutters against your lips, "I'll make you forget him, I swear."
He adds a third finger, pumping into you hard and fast, angry at the idea of Riki's hands ever laying on you. His tongue thrusts into your mouth in the same rhythm as his fingers, hungry for you.
You moan into him as fingers slow down, then fully pull them out to show you your slick on his fingers. He smirks, rubbing your clit once more.
"Heeseung, don't tease," you whimper, body twitching at his touch. He leans down to bite on your neck. You push him away, climbing off the counter and turning him to lean against the counter.
"What are you doing?" he asks, but you ignore him and bend down, hands already undoing his belt. His hips jerk, breath hitching as he watches you sink down to your knees, eyes never leaving his. His hands fly to the counter's edge, knuckles turning white.
"You don't have to..." It sounds like a warning, but he doesn't stop you.
Once his pants are down, his cock releases with precum already leaking at the tip. He continues to babble about wanting to only please you, but he immediately shuts up when you leave a soft kitten lick against his mushroom tip.
You take him in your mouth slowly, feeling him hit the back of your throat. His whole body tenses, a broken moan escaping his lip. His hands slide into your hair, not pushing, just holding you there.
"That's— you don't have to—" his protest dies as you hollow your cheeks and suck. "Shit."
He lets you set the pace, hands trembling in your hair. He tried to look down, but he almost finishes inside your mouth when he saw the way your eyes were watering, your eyes glistening as you looked up at him.
You bob your head, taking him deeper each time, swallowing around him. He's moaning your name like a prayer, hips twitching with every blow. When you pull off to take a breath, he holds your head still from going back.
"I want to come inside you."
He helps you get to your feet, his hands already all over you like before. He looks at you like he's done something wrong, like you deserved better than whatever this was.
"I want to take care of you."
Heeseung cups your face, thumbs wiping the corners of your lips softly. It was such a contrast to how he just fucked your mouth. You look at him for another second, admiring his flushed face. Grabbing his hand, you drag him to your bedroom.
You push him onto the bed, straddling his hips and grinding against him. His face contorts with pleasure, but that comes to a halt when he holds you down, stopping you.
He grips your thighs, moving you up to sit on his stomach.
"Sit on my face, baby," he says, the phrase coming out as a command. You hesitate, and he can tell, but you shift forward and position your core over his face. His tongue is already lathering your juices before you could react.
Even though he's gone down on you a million times already, this position felt different. The pleasure easily overstimulates you.
Your hands fly up to hold onto the headboard as his tongue curls inside of you. His nose bumps against your clit with each thrust of his tongue. You tried to pull away with the stimulation being too overwhelming, but his arms wrap around your thighs to hold you down.
"H—Heeseung... I can't," you moan out, tears streaming down your face. His mouth is completely covered by you, muffling the dirty sounds of slurping as he tongue-fucks you mercilessly.
One hand slides back to squeeze your ass, pushing you further up his face. The sudden push made his nose harshly rub against your clit, making you moan and fall forward as you catch yourself against the headboard.
His thumbs spread your lower lips apart. "Ride my tongue."
You start to move on his face, grinding against his tongue as he looks at you. He groans loudly, the vibrations making you whimper. He sucks hard on your clit, his free hand moving to play with your breasts, pinching and pulling at your nipples.
"Cum on my face," he murmurs underneath you.
The pleasure was overwhelming, all your senses clouded with nothing but Heeseung's tongue. His tongue curled inside of you while his thumb quickly rubbed your clit.
You start to move faster, chasing your orgasm as he continues to eat you out relentlessly. When he bites down lightly on your clit, you feel the wave wash over you, your body twitching as your cum all over his face.
He doesn't stop, though. He continues to drink you even as you shake through your orgasm. His tongue keeps lapping at you, making sure he got every last drop.
"I can't anymore," you beg. When you finally come down from your second high, he kisses your inner thigh softly, pulling you down to his chest. As you lay there, Heeseung's cock presses against your thighs. His cock is already hard and leaking, ready to be inside you.
His hands start to roam your body possessively, squeezing your ass and pulling you closer to his erection.
"See what you do to me? I already got you off twice and I'm still rock hard," he shifts his hips, making his cock slide between your thighs.
When you whimper at the contact, he rolls you onto your back gently but firmly, settling between your legs. His eyes fall down to your core, puffy and swollen, glistening with a mix of his saliva and your cum.
His cock presses against your entrance, already slick from sliding it through your folds. He leans down to kiss you as he starts to push inside slowly.
You let out a quiet moan, feeling the way he stretched you out perfectly. He breaks from the kiss to watch himself slide into you inch by inch. His eyes roll back at how good you feel, your walls still fluttering from earlier.
When he fully bottoms out, he lets out a shuddering breath. He pauses for a moment to let you adjust to his size. Once he feels you relax around him, he begins to move slowly, pulling out almost all the way before sliding back in.
His thrusts are deep and steady, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl, moaning for more. He captures your mouth again, swallowing your sweet sounds as he picks up the pace. His arms rest on the sides of your head as your hands hold onto his bicep.
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room along with your muffled cries. His thumb finds your sensitive clit, rubbing rough circles as he pounds into you. The angle changes as he sits up completely, hitting that spot dead-on with every thrust.
"You wanna ride me? Be my good girl and ride me," he says in between breaths, pulling out completely. He rolls onto his back and pulls you on top of him. You don't hesitate to immediately straddle him and sink down onto his thick cock.
He groans at the sight of you bouncing on his dick, tits bouncing with each movement. His hands slide up to squeeze your breast as you continue to grind him, fingers pinching your nipples.
"Heeseung, I'm so close," you cry out, hands flying to his shoulders as an anchor as he sits up, capturing your nipple in his mouth. His hand reaches between you, pinching your clit, knowing it would have you coming undone in any second.
He feels you getting tighter around him, your movements becoming jerky and desperate. He releases his lips from your nipples and captures your mouth in a messy kiss, swallowing your whimpers as he thrusts from below. You can feel the way his tip kisses your cervix, one second away from seeing white.
Your pussy starts to clench around him, your breathing becoming rigid against his lips. He thrusts up hard, holding you against him when your walls flutter, your head falling forward to rest on his shoulder while you orgasm. Your orgasm triggers his own release as you feel streams of hot cum shoot along your walls, his hands squeezing your ass as he finishes inside you.
Heeseung, still heavy inside you, groans softly as your breathing starts to settle. You stay pressed together, letting the aftershocks ripple through your bodies.
You pull back slightly, resting your forehead against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of him beneath you.
Heeseung shifts so you’re both lying on your sides, his arm draping over your waist, fingers lightly tracing your back.
“Fuck… you’re incredible,” he murmurs, voice low and rough, but softer now, like he’s letting himself feel something more than lust. You hum in response, heart still racing, chest pressed to his.
A quiet pause lingers, the kind of silence that makes the world shrink to just the two of you. Heeseung’s thumb brushes over your hip repeatedly, like he’s testing the waters for what he wants to say.
“I—” he starts, hesitating, swallowing thickly. “I don’t… I can’t exactly say this, but… I think I might… like—love you. A lot.”
He immediately looks away, pretending it’s casual, but the tension in his jaw and the slight tremor in his voice betray him.
You lift your head, brushing your fingers across his cheek.
He leans into your touch, eyes closing briefly as if drawing strength from you. Then, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, holding you close.
“Just… don’t leave,” he murmurs, half-laughing, half-serious, and you can feel in the quiet of the room that he means it more than he’s willing to admit.
pairing | boyfriend!sunghoon, bf's bestfriend!jake, love triangle (?)
synopsis | your boyfriend leaves for a business trip for three weeks. he asked his best friend to look over you, but that turned out differently than expected.
genre | boyfriend's best friend, angst, smut
warnings | smut, porn with plot lol, not proof read, cheating (in all ways), moral ambiguity, toxic behavior, dom jake, sub reader, lowkey kind of dirty and filthy sex, unprotected p in v (don't do it, im serious..), kind of drunk sex, nipple play, oral (both receiving), dirty talk, kitchen sex, cowboy - lmk if i missed anything!
word count | 5.2k
⊹₊⟡⋆
By the time Sunghoon leaves, the apartment feels different.
You drop your keys into the bowl by the door before walking to the kitchen where he would be cooking dinner, waiting for you to return back home.
The house felt too empty—a feeling you don't really like after getting so used to your boyfriend's presence. As you lay down on the couch to relax for a moment, your phone dings.
Jake: you home?
You stare at the screen for a second longer than necessary, thumb hovering before you type back.
You: yeah, what's up?
Three dots appeared and then disappeared.
A few minutes later, a knock echoed through the house. The way the knock came through made it obvious who it was. He knocks the same way every time: twice, then once more after a beat like muscle memory.
When you open the door, he's standing here with a hoodie, slightly damp hair.
"Hey," he says.
You blink at him, hand still resting on the doorknob.
"...hey?"
There’s a pause.
Not awkward—just long enough to notice.
Jake shifts his weight slightly, glancing past you into the apartment before looking back at you again, like he’s trying to figure out why you look at him like that.
“What?” he asks, a little amused.
You frown, opening the door a bit wider but not moving out of the way just yet. “What are you doing here?”
Another pause.
“Oh.” He lets out a small breath, almost like a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right.”
You tilt your head. “Right…?”
“Sunghoon didn’t tell you?”
Your brows knit together slightly. “Tell me what?”
“He asked me to check in on you while he’s gone,” he says. “Make sure you’re eating, not rotting in bed all day.”
You scoff lightly at that, finally stepping aside to let him in. “I don’t rot. I actually just got home from work.”
“Mm.” He walks past you anyway, like he doesn’t quite believe you. “Debatable.”
You close the door behind him, turning just in time to see him head straight for the kitchen like he’s done it a hundred times before.
“He really told you to come over?” you ask, leaning against the wall.
Jake hums in response, setting something down on the counter.
“I mean, I was gonna come by anyway,” he adds, a little quieter. “But yeah.”
You push yourself off the wall, walking closer. “That’s so—”
Your words cut off when you notice the bags in his hands.
“…what’s that?”
Jake glances up at you, then down at the takeout containers like it’s obvious.
“Dinner.”
You blink. “You didn’t have to—”
“I know.” He shrugs, already pulling things out. “He said you wouldn’t feel like cooking.”
There’s something about the way he says it—so casual, like it’s just a fact—that makes you pause.
“He said that?” you ask.
Jake nods, not looking at you now, focused on opening the containers. “Said you’d probably just snack or skip it.”
You let out a small huff. “Wow.”
“I’m just relaying the message,” he says, lips twitching slightly.
You watch him for a second longer than you should.
The way he moves around your kitchen without asking. The way he already knows where the plates are, pulling them out without hesitation.
“…you didn’t have to come,” you say again, softer this time.
Jake pauses for half a second. Then he sets the last container down and finally looks at you.
“I know,” he repeats. There’s a brief silence. Then he gestures toward the counter, like nothing happened.
“Eat before it gets cold.”
Jake's already pulling the lids off the containers, steam rising faintly into the air. The smell hits you immediately. It then hits you, how effortless this feels, like something he decided to do himself.
"You remembered my order?" you ask, a little more surprised than you meant to sound.
He glances up like it's obvious. "You get the same thing every time."
"I don't."
"You do."
There's the faintest hint of a smile on his face, like he knows you're about to argue, but you don't. Instead, you reach for one of the plates he set out, your fingers brushing his for a second. You pulled your hand back a little quicker than you normally would—not that it should matter anyway.
"Make yourself at home," you mutter.
By the time you carry your plate to the dinner table, you notice how heavy the tension is. And when Jake pulls out the chair besides yours instead of the one across from you, the shift is small enough that you could ignore it.
At first, it's easy. Conversation comes naturally, slipping into the same rhythm you're used to. Jake is talking about something that happened earlier this week, exaggerating just enough to get a reaction out of you. You laugh without thinking, responding automatically.
You don't realize how much you've relaxed until you slightly lean toward him mid-laugh, your shoulder brushing his. It's light, barely there, but you notice it.
The proximity. The lack of space.
When you glance at him, he's already looking at you slightly amused.
"What?" he asks.
"Nothing," you say quickly, dropping your gaze back to your plate.
The second night feels different before it even starts. Somehow, something inside of you felt excited for him to be here. You notice it in the way you check your phone more than once when he messaged he'd be on his way.
When the knock comes, you're already waiting at the door.
"Hey," Jake says when you open it, like this is expected now.
There's less hesitation this time when you step aside to let him in. Less space between you as he passes, the brush of his shoulder against yours just enough to register.
"Brought food again," he says, holding up the bag slightly as he heads toward the kitchen.
You follow him without thinking. "You didn't have to do that again."
"I know."
Same answer as yesterday. You watch him set everything down, moving around your kitchen like he belongs there.
"Sunghoon texted you?" you ask.
Jake shakes his head. "Not today. Probably busy already."
"Oh."
Dinner ends later than yesterday night. It was less awkward, which you mentally thanked because you wouldn't have been able to handle it. Still, he sat next to you and occasionally brushed hands with you.
As you clean up the kitchen, Jake returns with a card game from somewhere, shuffling them absentmindedly against the table.
"What kind of game is it?"
He glances up at you, something faintly amused in his expression. "Truth or drink."
You let out a small laugh. "That's not even a real game."
"It is tonight.
It starts off easy with stupid questions: "Biggest lie you've ever told" or "Worst date you've been on."
You answer, sometimes honestly, sometimes not. Drinking wasn't your thing, so you often answered, but you found yourself drinking more than you wanted. Jake does the same, leaning back in his chair, watching you over the rim of his glass more than you notice.
Somewhere along the way, the questions shift. Jake flips another card, glances at it, then pauses.
"What?" you ask, now intrigued.
He huffs out a quiet breath, like he's debating something. "You don't have to answer this."
You narrow your eyes slightly. "Just read it."
A beat.
"Are you satisfied with your sex life?"
You let out a small scoff, reaching for your drink immediately. "I'll just drink."
Jake doesn't stop you, but he doesn't stop questioning either.
"That bad?" he asks, tone lighter than the question.
You shake your head quickly. "It's not—" You stop. "it's not bad."
"Mm."
You hate the way he says that. Like he doesn't believe you.
"It's just..." you trail off, glancing down at the cards, at anything but him. "He's busy. You know that."
Jake doesn't responsd so you keep going.
"He's always tired, or working, or thinking about something else." You let out a small, humorless laugh. "It's not exactly... consistent."
The silence that follows feels different. You take another sip of your drink before emotions pour over, but when you finally look up at Jake, he's already looking back at you.
Not teasing this time, not amused, but something else.
"And that doesn't bother you?" he asks, setting his glass down.
You shrug, even though it's not that simple. "It's not like I'm gonna complain about it. It's not a big deal."
Jake leans back a little, studying you in a way that makes you suddenly feel more aware of yourself. Of what you said. Of how it sounded.
"Doesn't sound like nothing. If I had a girl and she said that, I'd be pissed," he mutters.
You roll your eyes lightly, reaching for another card. "Your turn."
For a second, you think he's going to let it go.
"I could do it better."
You blink, your hand stilling over the desk. "What?"
"I said," he repeats, slower now, "I could do it better."
You let out a short, disbelieving laugh, shaking your head like that will reset the moment. "You're joking."
He doesn't laugh and your smile fades just lightly.
"Jake—"
"I'm serious."
The way he says it, calm and certain, makes something in your chest tighten in a way you don't immediately understand. You swallow hard and try to brush it off.
"You can't just say that."
"Why not?"
"Because," you trail off, "Because that's my boyfriend. And he's your best friend."
"I know."
The answer comes too easily and that's what makes it worse. The silence stretches, thicker now. You know that you should stop the game and kick him out, but you don't. Because a part of you wants to know what he means, but that was risking a lot.
Jake leans forward slightly, forearms resting against the table now, closer than before.
"I could prove it," he adds.
Your breath catches.
"Jake," you say again, but it comes out weaker this time, like you're pleading instead of stopping him.
He tilts his head slightly, watching you.
"Tell me to stop."
You don't tell him to stop. That's the problem.
Jake leans forward slightly, his gaze locks onto yours, steady, deliberate, as if he's giving you one last chance to change your mind. Instead, you let your hand brush his but he doesn't pull away. His fingers curl around yours, just enough to hold them, just enough to anchor you in his small, impossible proximity.
"Stay still," he murmurs, low, right against your ear. His lips are almost brushing your skin, and it makes your breath itch.
"Jake," you whisper, "This isn't right."
He smirks and leans in closer, if that was even possible. "Come on, don't get shy now. We both know you're not getting what you need from him."
As he pulls away, his hand reaches out and gently grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. Your breath shudders when his thumb carefully brushes against your lower lip.
"Just give me one night. One night to show you what you're missing out on."
Without thinking, you close the distance and lean in, crashing your lips with his. He immediately deepens the kiss, parting your lips with his tongue and dominating your mouth. His hand moves from the back of your neck, pulling you closer. As he stands up, he lifts you onto the table.
Jake steps between your legs, pressing his hard bulge against you. Your body shivers as he starts grinding, a breathy moan leaving your lips.
His hands grip your thighs, spreading them wider around his hips as he continues to grind against you slowly. He breaks the kiss just long enough to yank your shirt over your head, his eyes darkening as they take over your body.
"Fuck, you're even hotter than I imagined," he groans before reaching behind your back to unhook your bra, pushing the straps down your arms and tossing it behind him. He paused just for a second to take in the sight of your bare breasts before diving down, sucking one nipple into his mouth while his hand squeezes the other.
Your head immediately falls back, a quiet moan leaving your lips. When you look back down at Jake, he's already looking up at you. That alone almost made you come.
"Jake," you moan, already lost in a trance.. He smirks against your boobs, loving the way you're so worked up already. He sucks harder, pulling your nipple deep into his mouth before switching to the other side and giving the same attention.
His hands move to unbutton your jeans, pulling them off roughly with your panties. Out of embarrassment, you also tug on his shirt. He obliged, quickly pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
The sight of his muscular chest makes the spot between your legs even hotter. Jake smirks at your reaction before leaning back down to kiss you again as he pushes your legs further apart, positioning himself between them.
"J—Jake," you whimper, "please."
"Hm? Please what, baby?"
"Touch me, please. Anywhere," you beg, moving his hand to rest in between your legs. His fingers immediately slide through your wet folds, finding your clit and rubbing slow circles.
"So wet already, huh," he groans against your neck, pushing two fingers inside you without warning. "Sunghoon really never did this for you, did he?"
He curls his fingers, hitting that spot that made you see stars.
"No," you choke out, "He—he didn't."
Your back arches off the table as his fingers work inside you, this thumb pressing against your clit in rough circles. Without hesitation, he adds a third finger, stretching you open like you've never been before.
"Take this off too," you whisper as you undo his belt. He quickly pushes down his pants, his cock springing up. Jake watches your reaction as you practically drool over him. He could tell you were worried.
"Will it fit?" you ask, breathing heavily. You knew you could take it, but the current heat of the moment made it hard for you to think.
He chuckles darkly, pulling his fingers out of you to grab his thick length, pressing it against your entrance. The tip slightly pushes in, trodding your entrance.
"Only one way to find out."
He pushes in another inch, stretching you around him. Your hands fly up to hold onto his shoulders.
"Holy fuck, you're tight," he groans as his head drops to your shoulder. Jake feels impossibly thick, stretching you much wider than your boyfriend could've. He sinks in deeper, his hand gripping your thigh to hold you steady. The burning sensation made you clench tightly around him.
"Relax, baby. Let me stretch you out properly."
He pulls back almost all the way before sliding in again, this time a little deeper. You couldn't help but clench each time he hits the right spot, over and over again. He runs his free hand up your chest, pinching your nipples between his finger as he praises you.
"You take my cock so perfectly. I bet Sunghoon would fucking kill me for this," he chuckles, imagining his best friend watching this unfold.
The thought of Sunghoon finding you that you were fucking his best friend fuck you mindless made the whole situation more amusing. You knew it was wrong, and Jake did too, but it didn't stop you.
"What if he finds out?" you ask between moans. Jake halts for a second, before thrusting again slowly.
"He doesn't have to know."
⊹₊⟡⋆
The sunlight hasn't fully spilled into your room yet, only a small crack lighting up the room. You're lying on your sides, sheets tangled around you, as you stared at the ceiling.
You haven't stopped thinking about that night. Every detail plays in your head: the weight of him over you, the heat, the way he made you forget everything else.
The way he proved he was better than Sunghoon.
In the past couple of days, you tried every way to forget about that moment, but it didn't help. You're still wrapped around the memory.
And the worst—or maybe the best—part? He hasn't reached out since. What was he thinking? Did he regret it? Did he even want it as much as you did?
Your pulse quickens at the thought.
The drive to his apartment is quick. By the time you knock, your hand is trembling. You weren't sure if it was the guilt or desire, or both, but your heart began to race.
A few seconds passed, then the doorknob turned. Jake stands there, hair completely messy, his white t-shirt rumpled, eyes half-lidded as through he just woke up. His lips part in a small, groggy "hey", and your stomach drops.
The way the sunlight from his apartment hits his jaw, the way his chest rises and falls under the thin fabric. You swear your knees almost gave out.
"You woke me up," he mumbles, voice rough with sleep.
"I... couldn't stop thinking about you," you admit, voice barely above a whisper.
Jake peeks his head out the doorway, looking left and right as if he would get caught. After a second, he pulls you in and closes the door behind him.
He blinks a you for a second, then smirks lazily, a slow heat crawling over his features. "I was thinking about you too," he says, and it's enough to make your heart stutter.
His apartment is quiet, just the sound of construction outside intruding. Jake leans against the door behind you, watching you. Somehow, watching him in that just-woke-up haze makes him look even hotter.
"Coffee?" he asks, though its rhetorical.
You shake your head. "Not right now."
A small laugh escapes him, low and teasing. He takes a step toward you, his proximity enough to make your chest tighten. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," you whisper, and the tension between you coils like a spring.
His hand brushes against yours as he moves closer. The touch is light at first, but your fingers intertwine without thinking.
"You're trouble, y'know?" he murmurs, dragging you to the couch.
"And you like it," you tease back.
When you reach the couch, he lightly pushes you down before leaning towards you, immediately closing the distance. He kisses you aggressively, parting your lips and sliding his tongue inside, just like that night. His lips leave a trail of fire down your throat as his fingers work your shirt up, exposing your skin.
You tremble at the coldness of his apartment, giving him the lead to reach behind you, undoing your bra clasp with practiced ease. He pushes the bra down before his mouth latches onto your nipple through your shirt. He bites down gently, his other hand already sliding up your thigh and under the hem of your shorts.
"Missed me that much?" he teased.
A quiet whimper elicited from your throat as Jake finds his way back up to kiss you. His tongue continues to explore your mouth as his fingers hook the side of your panties. He pulls them to the side, finding your wet slit.
"Please, Jake," you moan, hands flying to hold onto his biceps. He pulls away and smirk as he spreads your legs wider, keeping his eyes locked onto yours while pulling your shorts down.
He keeps his gaze on you as he slowly and teasingly rubs your clit through your soaked panties, the sight alone making Jake feel like he just won the lottery.
"Fuck, you're so hot," he murmurs before you feel his tongue against your clothed core, the sensation unbearable.
"Please don't tease," you whine, your hips grinding against his face. His hands grip your thighs to hold you down onto the couch before pulling your panties to the side.
"Just as pretty as I remembered," he groans. Without hesitation, he spits onto your clit, spreading it around with his fingers. He rubs his thumb over it slowly, watching your face contort the whole time.
A low chuckle escapes him. "Look at me. Don't close your eyes."
His middle finger pushes through you, curling just enough to make your hips rise from the couch. He adds a second finger, stretching you like routine.
"Been thinking about this pussy all week."
"Shut up and give me your mouth," you moan.
A dark smile spreads across his face. "So polite."
He slides his fingers out, leaving you empty and aching, then pushes your thighs even further apart before leaving hot kisses on your inner thighs. You watch with desperation, hips involuntarily rising to get any pleasure. His hands grip your ass as he dives in, burying his face between your legs.
"Just like that, Jake."
Your reaction made his cock twitch in his pants, making it hard for him to think straight. He licks your folds like he's starving for it, eating your pussy like it's the best thing that he's ever tasted. He looks up at you from between your legs, watching as your tits moved slightly from twitching.
His tongue pushes inside you, fucking you with his as his nose presses against your clit. He moans against your pussy, the vibrations making your toes curl.
"So fucking sweet," he pulls back just enough to say it before going back in deeper, sucking on your clit hard while two fingers push back inside.
"Gonna make you cum on my face, yeah?"
You nod without hesitation. The feeling was like something you've never felt before, making you feel like you were in euphoria.
He sucks on your clit harder, using his fingers to rub that sport that makes your vision blur. He can feel your thighs shaking around his head and loves how desperate you sound when you moan his name.
You're grinding against his face when you finally cum. He doesn't let up.
"J—Jake, I can't," you whimper.
He keeps eating you out, his fingers fucking you through your orgasm. He finally lets up.
"You taste so good. Wonder if Hoon was ever able to taste you this way," he whispers, kissing your inner thighs.
⊹₊⟡⋆
Jake comes over just like before, a daily routine at this point. Every time he comes over, you exchange easy words. Then, without much hesitation, it happens again. Fingers brush, a kiss lingers, and then somehow you're underneath him.
He's currently laying on your and Sunghoon's shared bed, going on about some gaming nonsense. You didn't have much interest for it, nodding here and there. Your eyes linger down to his crotch, the grey sweatpants showing a faint outline of his cock.
Testing the waters, you slightly graze your hands against his thighs. Jake stops speaking as his breath hitches slightly. He spreads his legs a little wider, giving you more access.
His hand comes up to rest on your hip, fingers digging in softly. He watches as your hand inches higher on his thigh. His smirk grows sharper when your fingers trace dangerously close to his bulge.
He knows exactly what you're doing—testing the waters to see if he's interested. He decides to make it easy for you.
Jake shifts slightly, moving his leg so that your hand is practically resting on his dick through his pants. That immediately made heat crawl up your cheeks, feeling some sort of embarrassment now for being too bold.
His eyes meet yours, challenging and inviting at the same time.
"You can touch it if you want," he whispers, his hand squeezing your hip possessively. You now start to rub his dick, climbing over to sit between his spread legs. His pupils dilate as your hand presses harder, groaning softly when you start to slowly jerk him off through the thick fabric.
You watch intently as he grips the bed sheets, leaning back against the headboard as you continue to play.
"Fuck, that feels good..."
He spreads his legs even wider, giving you better access. He's turned on by a thousand percent, liking how exploratory you're being. A part of him is annoyed by the barrier, so he stops you as he pulls down his pants.
Even though you've seen it a million times now, you still couldn't get over how big his cock is. His thick length springs free, slapping against his stomach. The tip was already read, leaking pre-cum, ready to be sucked.
He wraps a hand around his length, slowly pumping himself as he watches you gaze at him appreciatively.
"Mmm, open that pretty mouth for me, baby," he murmurs. He gently grabs the back of your head, pulling you closer. His hand on his cock shifts, using the tip to rub pre-cum along your bottom lip. Your lips parted slightly, taking in his tip.
Jake groans and pushes his hip up a little, filling your mouth with just he head. He tastes salty and musky, his tip swollen against your tongue. His hand stays gentle in your hair as you start to bob your head up and down, your hands filling the space your mouth couldn't.
He's being so patient, which makes it even hotter.
You swirl your tongue around his mushroom head, giving a few kitten licks to his tip. He's so big that just the head is almost enough for you. He watches as your cheeks hollow out slightly, how they envelope so nicely around him.
Giving one last bob, you take as much as you can before releasing. A line of spit connects your lips and the tip of his dick, making Jake's hip jerk. He loves how innocent, yet somehow perfect you were taking him.
"Look at you..." he whispers, stroking himself slightly as you smile at him. You start to undress yourself, but he quickly leans forward and continues taking off the items, leaving you in your bra.
When his fingers find how soaked your panties are, already drenched from just having his cock in his mouth, he couldn't wait to be inside of you. Two fingers press against your folds, feeling how swollen and slick you are.
He circles your clit slowly with his thumb, making you gasp and buck your hips. Spreading your slips a bit more, he pushes a finger inside just a little, teasing you. You pull his hand away before pushing his shoulder, watching him fall back onto the bed.
He falls back easily with a low chuckle, eyes dark with desire as you take control. You hover over him, legs settling on both sides of his hips. His hands hover at your waist, not guiding—just ready to catch you.
You lean down to give him a gentle kiss as you reach down to position his cock with your hole. He kisses you back softly as his hands get firmer on your hips, ready to keep you steady. The sight of you positioning his thick head to your entrance could make him finish.
"Holy shit," he groans. He grits his teeth, trying not to thrust up and impale you. You lean forward with your hands resting on his chest to ground you as you sink down on him. The feeling was different, also haven't ever been in this position with your boyfriend before.
Jake could tell by your reaction that this was new, and that was turning him on. His hands continue to squeeze your hips as encouragement. You sink down until you're fully seated, his entire length buried inside you. He lets out a broken moan, hips twitching as he slowly thrusts up.
He reaches up to cup your neck, pulling you down for another deep kiss. You start to ride him slowly, lifting your hips up and down on his thick length. He eventually breaks the kiss to watch your reaction but he could barely watch as the sensation was overfilling his senses. He lets you control the pace, his hands moving to squeeze your thighs softly.
"That's it," he moans. You reciprocated the moan, sounding a bit too pornographic.
Leaning forward, you find a new angle that lets you take him even deeper, if that was possible. As you watch Jake underneath you, his hands slide up to cup your bouncing tits.
"Jake, I'm so close," you whimper. Bouncing on him quicker, you felt the knot getting tighter, taking his entire length with each downward thrust. His cock swells inside you, hitting that perfect spot with every bounce.
Hearing you so close already makes him want to finish. He lifts his hips slightly, meeting you halfway.
"Come on, baby. Let me feel you cum on my cock," he groans.
The combination of your bouncing, his thrusts, and his grip on your tits send you over the edge. You cry out, your pussy squeezing his cock as you cum. His hands fly to your hips to hold you down on him as he starts to thrust up roughly, chasing his high.
He buries his face in your neck, biting down gently as he calms down. You collapse forward onto his chest, both of you breathing heavily. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close while rubbing your back.
After a few minutes, you watched Jake walk to the bathroom to retrieve towels. As you lay there, your phone dings.
Sunghoon: hey babe! i'm currently boarding the plane. can't wait to see you soon <3
Your heart stops. Spending so much time with Jake made you feel like you forgot you were really in a relationship with Sunghoon. You started to feel guilty, but what's done is done. You can't go back and change the past.
"Hey, you okay?" Jake asked, spreading your legs to wipe you.
You nod and drop your phone onto the bed, leaving your boyfriend's message on read.
⊹₊⟡⋆
A knock at the door interrupts your conversation with Jake.
Sunghoon.
You straighten instantly, your stomach flipping. He's home early. You can hear his voice before you even open the door, calling your name softly. Jake sits beside you, panicking as he continues to put candles on a cake to welcome his best friend back.
He moves towards the door with you, but suddenly his presence felt too much. The doorknob turned and you turned to Jake, getting ready to say hi.
Sunghoon steps in, arms already out as he pulls you into a hug. His scent, his warmth, the way he holds you. It's comforting and you miss it a lot.
You hug him back, feeling the security you've missed these past few weeks. But in the corner of your eye, you catch Jake standing there. He's quiet, just slightly leaning against the wall, eyes dark with something you can't name. There's a half-smile, maybe amusement, maybe something else, but it stops you mid-breath.
You can't tell what he's thinking.
You can't tell what he wants.
You can't tell if he's proud, frustrated, jealous... or all of it at once.
But the moment doesn't last.
Sunghoon pulls away to hug Jake, celebrating the victory of his business trip that they used to always talk about. When Sunghoon turns back around, you brush your hands over his shoulders, heart still racing.
"Welcome home," you whisper.
Sunghoon smiles, oblivious to the storm that just passed. You walk away with him, hand in hand, while Jake lingers behind.
dudeeee loved all parts of just friends so fucking much ur insaneeeee
I've been dying to read a good second chance romance with ex husband jake with smut and TENSION and ANGST and by reading ur stories I just fucking know ur take on it would be delicious could u pls write it 🙏
hi anon! i'm so sorry it took me so long to reply, i couldn't find a good way to start this but i hope you enjoy ><
NEVER OURS | S. JY
pairing | ex-husband sim jake x f! reader
synopsis | after years apart, you and jake meet again, sparking old feelings. one night together reminds you both of what you lost—but can’t have back
genre + warnings | smut — minors dni, angst; oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (don't do it pls i'll tell ur mom)
word count | 3.7k
this is a work of fiction and does not depict any accurate representation of any members of enhypen
You should’ve known something was off the moment your mother’s voice sounded a little too bright on the phone.
“It’s just dinner,” she had said, breezy and innocent, “your father and I miss you.”
Nothing about that seemed suspicious at the time. But standing in your childhood home’s dining room, staring across the polished oak table at the man you used to call your husband, you realize just how calculated it all was.
Jake sits at the opposite end, a polite half-smile plastered onto his face, the same one he used when he was living here. He hasn’t changed much—still all clean lines and soft eyes, the sharp sweep of his jaw softened only by the warmth in his gaze. Except that warmth isn’t for you. Not tonight. Not anymore.
“Jake was in town,” your mother says cheerfully as she sets down the last dish, pretending she doesn’t notice the way you and Jake haven’t looked directly at each other since you walked in. “And it’s been so long since we’ve all eaten together.”
So long.
That phrase twists like a knife.
As you walk closer to the table, you make a mental note to yell at your parents later for setting you up.
You clear your throat, force yourself into civility. “How… how have you been?”
Jake glances at you finally, and the brief contact feels like a spark against dry kindling. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, though—it never quite has when he’s guarding himself.
“Busy,” he says simply. His voice is the same—warm honey with a trace of exhaustion—but there’s distance in it, too. “And you?”
“Good,” you lie.
Your parents chatter on, oblivious or maybe ignoring the thick wall of tension between you. Every clink of cutlery, every forced laugh, every polite response feels like walking on a tightrope.
You sneak glances at him in the moments when no one’s watching. His hair’s a little longer now, styled neatly but soft around the edges. His hands, the ones you once memorized in the dark, curl around his glass in a way that shouldn’t feel intimate but does.
You hate that you remember.
Halfway through dinner, your father brings up Jake’s latest promotions, pride swelling in his voice as though Jake were still part of the family. Jake nods humbly, shooting a small, almost apologetic look your way, as if he knows how much it stings. Because he was always good at reading you—too good.
When the conversation lulls, Jake finally speaks up again, this time directed at you.
“Still working at the firm?”
You freeze with your fork halfway to your lips. It’s such a mundane question, so ordinary, but it feels heavy. Like he’s reaching across a chasm, and you’re not sure if you should let him.
“Yeah,” you manage, softer than you intended. “Still there.”
He nods once, thoughtful. “That’s… good.”
The silence that follows is deafening.
By dessert, you’re exhausted from keeping your expression neutral, your heart steady. Your mother insists on coffee in the living room, but you’re too restless to sit still. You escape outside instead, stepping into the cool evening air, hoping the crisp breeze can wash away the storm inside you.
You don’t expect Jake to follow.
The soft click of the front door makes your shoulders tense, and then his presence is there, undeniable, the way it always has been. He doesn’t stand too close, but he doesn’t stay far either—just enough space that you can feel him, like a ghost at your side.
For a moment, neither of you speaks.
Then, quietly, he says your name. Just your name. And the way it falls from his lips—careful, reverent, aching—undoes something in your chest you thought you’d buried.
You force a breath, staring out at the familiar stretch of your parents’ garden instead of him. “They could’ve warned me.”
His chuckle is humorless. “Same.”
You chance a glance at him then, and his profile is illuminated by the porch light—still devastatingly beautiful, still Jake. But there’s something tired in his eyes when he finally turns to look at you, like this evening has worn him down in the exact same way.
“I didn’t… I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he admits, voice low.
You swallow hard. “Neither did I.”
The air between you is thick with all the words left unsaid, all the nights replaying in your mind, all the endings that never felt final. You should walk back inside. You should end this before it begins.
But instead, you stand there with him, letting the silence stretch, and feel the dangerous flicker of something you thought you’d lost: the possibility of more.
“Do you ever…” You stop, the words catching in your throat. Then you force them out. “Do you ever think about it? The way it ended?”
Jake exhales slowly, like he’s been waiting for you to ask. His shoulders shift, his hands pushing deep into his pockets. “Every damn day.”
Your breath stutters, caught off guard by his bluntness.
He looks down at the ground, then back at you. His eyes glimmer in the porch light, raw in a way you haven’t seen since the nights you both cried yourselves to sleep in the same bed.
“It was stupid,” he says, voice rough. “The fights, the distance, the way we just… let it all fall apart. I used to lie awake wondering why we didn’t fight harder for it.”
Your throat tightens. He’s saying the words you’ve repeated to yourself in the dark, words you thought belonged only to your side of the story.
“Jake…” you whisper, but your voice trails off, uncertain what comes next.
His mouth twists into something pained. “I know I wasn’t easy to be with. I was gone more than I was here, and when I was, I was exhausted, distracted. You didn’t deserve that.”
You shake your head, the old frustration bubbling up. “You think it was just you? I didn’t try either. I let resentment sit between us instead of just saying I missed you. I thought… I don’t know. That you’d just know. That you’d come home and realize.”
His laugh is bitter, self-deprecating. “I never realized anything unless you spelled it out for me.”
That used to be the heart of your fights—the way he’d overlook your silences, your sighs, your subtle cries for closeness. And you, too proud to say it plainly, let the silence grow until it drowned you both.
Your chest aches. “I thought divorce would give me peace,” you admit, a chuckle coming out dry. “Like cutting the cord would mean I could finally breathe again.”
His gaze sharpens. “And did it?”
The answer is out before you can stop it. “No. I just... stopped breathing altogether.”
The air goes still, the world narrowing to just the two of you. His expression falters, breaking open in a way that makes your pulse quicken.
“I still think about you,” he says quietly, like a confession he’s never spoken aloud. “Every time something good happens, or when it’s bad and I need—” He stops, swallows hard. “You’re the first person I want to tell. Even after everything.”
Your heart slams against your ribs. “Me too,” you whisper. “I hate it, but I still… I still reach for my phone sometimes. Like muscle memory. Like I’m still yours.”
Jake steps closer, not enough to touch but close enough that you feel the heat radiating from him. His voice drops, threaded with anguish and longing. “Maybe you still are.”
The words ripple through you, dangerously tempting. Your hands tighten around your arms, holding yourself back. “We can’t go there, Jake.”
“I know.” His eyes search yours, desperate and aching. “But tell me you don’t feel it. Right now. Tell me this doesn’t feel like every fight we ever had was a waste of time.”
You want to deny it. You want to push him away with logic and all the hard truths that kept you apart. But when you meet his gaze, your resolve shatters. Because he’s right. It’s all still there—burning, alive, terrifying.
Your lips part, trembling with the weight of everything you can’t say. Instead, all that comes out is: “It does.”
Jake lets out a shaky breath, and for a moment he looks like he might reach for you, like his restraint is barely hanging on. But he doesn’t. He just stands there, his heart in his eyes, as the silence between you crackles with everything still unsaid.
You and Jake linger outside longer than you mean to. Words ebb and flow—sharp, then soft, then slipping into silence. Each one feels like pulling a thread from a sweater that’s already unraveling, dangerous but impossible to stop.
Eventually, you both hear the faint creak of the front door opening. Your mother’s voice calls faintly, “Are you two still out there?”
Like guilty teenagers, you both pull back instantly. Jake clears his throat and takes a subtle step away, the distance suddenly unbearable.
“Guess I should get back inside,” you murmur, tucking your hands into your jacket pockets.
“Yeah,” Jake says, though his eyes linger on you like he doesn’t mean it. “It was… good seeing you.”
You nod, but neither of you moves right away. The silence stretches until it hurts, until the weight of goodbye presses too hard. So you force yourself to turn, to step back inside, to escape before you do something reckless.
The rest of the night drags. Your parents chat like nothing monumental just happened in the porch, and you smile and nod at the right moments, though you barely taste the drink in your hand. Eventually, you make your excuses, hugging them tightly before leaving.
You tell yourself it’s over. Just like always.
But then your phone buzzes.
He still has your number saved.
Jake [11:42 p.m.]: Did you get home safe?
Your chest tightens. It’s such a simple question, but one he used to ask every single time you drove anywhere at night. Muscle memory.
You type back, fingers hesitating.
You [11:43 p.m.]: Not yet. Almost.
The three little dots appear, vanish, then appear again. You hold your breath.
Jake [11:44 p.m.]: …Want to come over instead?
You stare at the screen, heart thundering. He’s never been one for games—Jake doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean. And you know exactly what he’s asking, even if the words look innocent enough.
Your hands grip the steering wheel, torn. This is reckless. This is dangerous. This is everything you swore you wouldn’t do.
And yet—
You [11:45 p.m.]: Send me the address.
Your phone buzzes again almost immediately. An address. His address. Different from the one you used to share, but still close enough that your chest aches.
You make the turn without thinking twice.
The drive feels endless and too short all at once. Streetlights flash by, illuminating fragments of memory—the way his hand used to rest on your thigh when he drove, the way you’d hum along to his playlists, the comfortable quiet of being beside him. Every mile feels like stepping backward into the past, into the danger of what you swore you’d left behind.
By the time you pull into his complex, your palms are slick against the steering wheel. He’s waiting outside, leaning against his car in sweats and a hoodie, hair pushed back carelessly. The sight makes your breath catch, because it’s not the polished idol the world sees—it’s Jake. Your Jake.
He pushes off the car when you arrive, a small, nervous smile tugging at his lips.
“You came,” he says softly, almost in disbelief.
You lock your car and force a wry smile. “You asked.”
For a moment, neither of you moves. The air between you thrums, fragile and electric. Then Jake jerks his head toward the building. “Come on. It’s cold.”
Inside, his apartment is tidy but lived-in—sneakers lined up by the door, a tennis rack propped against the couch, mugs on the coffee table. It smells like him, warm and faintly citrus, and the familiarity slams into you so hard you have to steady yourself.
Jake closes the door behind you. When you glance back, his eyes are already on you, unreadable, searching.
“So,” you start, voice too thin, “what did you—”
But your words falter under the weight of his gaze. He isn’t hiding anything now. Not the longing, not the regret, not the hunger that simmers just beneath the surface.
“Don’t ask,” he murmurs, stepping closer. “Just… stay.”
The word stay hangs between you, fragile and dangerous.
You should say no. You should walk back out the door, drive home, and bury this night in silence. But then Jake steps closer, close enough that the air shifts with his presence, and all the reasons scatter.
His hand lifts, hesitates, then brushes against your cheek. That single touch unravels you, the warmth of his palm igniting something you thought you’d buried.
“Jake…” you whisper, but it comes out like a plea.
That’s all it takes. He closes the distance, his mouth crashing against yours, desperate and hungry, yet achingly familiar. It’s not the cautious kiss of strangers—it’s the collision of two people who have kissed a thousand times before, who know exactly how the other tastes, yet have been starving for years.
You gasp into him, your hands finding the front of his hoodie and fisting it tight. He groans low in his throat, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours with the kind of intensity that makes your knees weak.
“God, I missed this,” he breathes against your lips, breaking only long enough to press his forehead to yours. “Missed you.”
Your body trembles with the weight of it, with the truth you can’t deny. “Me too.”
He doesn’t give you time to second-guess. His mouth trails down your jaw, to the curve of your throat, where he lingers, teeth grazing your pulse before sucking gently. Your breath hitches, your body arching instinctively into his.
“Jake—”
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your skin, though his hands are already sliding beneath your jacket, splaying warm against your waist. “Please. Because if you don’t—”
You cut him off with another kiss, rougher this time, pouring every unspoken word into it. Your fingers tug at the hem of his hoodie, slipping beneath to feel the heat of his skin. The soft ridges of his stomach flex under your touch, and he groans again, pulling you tighter against him.
He walks you backward until your knees hit the couch, and then you’re tumbling down together, mouths never parting. His weight presses into you, heavy and solid, grounding you in a way you didn’t realize you’d craved.
Clothes become obstacles, discarded in frantic movements—his hoodie, your jacket, his shirt. You pause only long enough to look at him, bare-chested in the dim light, hair messy from your hands. He’s gorgeous, unfairly so, but it’s the way he looks at you—hungry, reverent, like you’re the only thing that matters—and that makes your chest ache.
“You’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers, like it’s a secret he can’t hold in.
Before you can respond, his mouth is on you again, trailing down your collarbone, across your chest. His hands tug at your shirt until it’s gone, leaving you bare to him. He takes his time, lips and tongue mapping every inch, relearning the body he once knew by heart.
You writhe beneath him, heat pooling low in your belly as his mouth finds your breast, his tongue circling before sucking lightly. You gasp, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging when he groans against you.
“Jake, please—”
The sound of his name on your lips seems to break something in him. He shifts lower, lips trailing fire down your stomach, hands tugging at the waistband of your jeans. With a swift motion, he frees you from them, his gaze dark as he looks up at you.
“Still so perfect,” he murmurs, before lowering his mouth to you.
The first flick of his tongue makes your hips jerk, a cry spilling from your lips. He holds you steady, one hand splayed against your stomach, the other gripping your thigh as he works you with devastating precision. Every stroke, every swirl is intentional, like he’s trying to memorize your taste all over again.
“Fuck, Jake—” Your head falls back, the world spinning as pleasure coils tight inside you.
He doesn’t let up, groaning against you when you tug harder at his hair. The vibrations make you tremble, your thighs tightening around his shoulders. He knows you’re close—he always did—and he pushes you over the edge with one final, perfect stroke of his tongue.
You come undone with a sharp cry, body arching, vision blurring. He doesn’t stop until you’re trembling, whimpering, too sensitive for more. Only then does he crawl back up your body, kissing you deep, letting you taste yourself on his lips.
“Missed that sound,” he whispers against your mouth. “The way you fall apart for me.”
You’re still breathless, but your hands fumble with the waistband of his sweats, desperate. “I need you, Jake. Please.”
His jaw tightens, restraint warring with desire. “You’re sure?”
“Always.”
That’s all it takes. He pushes his sweats down, freeing himself, and the sight alone makes your mouth go dry. He lines himself up, pressing his forehead to yours, voice breaking as he says, “I’ll never stop wanting you.”
Then he thrusts into you, slow and deep, and the both of you gasp at the sensation. It’s too much, too perfect, like your bodies were made to fit together.
He moves with aching deliberation, every stroke slow, deep, meant to make you feel him everywhere. His lips find yours again, kissing you through every moan, every gasp.
The rhythm builds gradually, passion edging into desperation, your nails digging into his back as you cling to him. He groans your name into your ear, his voice wrecked, his body trembling against yours.
It doesn’t take long before you’re unraveling again, pleasure slamming through you as you cry out his name. He follows seconds later, thrusting deep one last time before shuddering, spilling into you with a groan that’s half curse, half prayer.
For a long moment, neither of you moves. You just cling to each other, hearts pounding, bodies pressed together in the dark.
When Jake finally lifts his head, his eyes are soft, pained, filled with everything words can’t hold. He presses one last kiss to your lips—gentle, reverent, like goodbye.
The apartment is quiet after.
You’re still tangled together on the couch, your breathing slowly evening out, your skin cooling against the air. Jake has one arm draped around you, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm beneath your cheek. His thumb traces idle patterns against your bare shoulder, soft and absentminded, like he’s done it a thousand times before.
For a fleeting, dangerous moment, it feels like nothing ever broke between you. Like the fights, the papers, the silence that followed were nothing but a bad dream. Here, in his arms, you’re home.
But you know better.
That knowledge sits heavy in your chest as sleep begins to tug at you. You close your eyes, let yourself sink into the warmth, into the illusion. If you could stay like this forever, maybe you would. But forever isn’t yours to keep. Not anymore.
Sometime past 3 A.M., you stir awake. The apartment is darker now, the streetlight outside casting faint golden stripes across the floor. Jake’s arm is heavy around your waist, his breath warm against your hair. You shift carefully, just enough to look at him. His face is relaxed in sleep, boyish and heartbreakingly beautiful.
Your throat tightens. You can’t stay.
You ease yourself out of his hold, moving slowly so as not to wake him. He stirs slightly, a soft groan rumbling in his chest. His hand brushes against your arm, weak with sleep.
“Where’re you going?” he mumbles, voice thick and drowsy.
Your heart lurches. You force your voice steady, though it cracks anyway. “Bathroom,” you whisper.
He hums, already slipping back into dreams, murmuring, “Hurry back.”
You swallow the sob clawing at your throat and lean down, pressing the lightest kiss to his temple. Then you stand, quietly gathering your clothes, slipping them on piece by piece in the dim light. Every sound feels too loud, like the universe is holding its breath to watch you leave.
At the door, you pause. Your hand rests on the knob, your body aching with the pull to turn back, to crawl back into his arms and pretend morning will never come. But you don’t. You can’t.
And then you’re gone.
When Jake wakes, the first thing he notices is the cold.
The space beside him is empty, the blanket pooled where your body should be. He blinks groggily, frowning as he sits up, scanning the quiet apartment. “Y/N?”
No answer.
The bathroom door is open, the light off. His frown deepens as he rises, padding across the room. The apartment is still, too still. He checks the kitchen, the hallway, the door—
A hollow ache blooms in his chest. You didn’t just step out. You left.
Jake leans against the counter, dragging a hand through his hair, eyes burning as the truth settles in.
Of course you did.
Because that’s what was meant to happen. That’s what always happens.
He squeezes his eyes shut, replaying the night in flashes—the way you said his name, the way you fell apart in his arms, the way you kissed him like you’d never stopped loving him. For a second, hope flickers cruelly in his chest. But then he opens his eyes and sees the empty apartment again, and it’s gone.
Jake exhales shakily, a humorless laugh breaking through his throat. “Figures,” he mutters to no one, his voice hoarse.
He presses a hand against the counter, grounding himself, trying to slow the storm inside him. You’re gone, just like before. Just like you were always meant to be.
And yet—
He knows he’ll still think about you. Every damn day.
Omg would you consider writing a 2nd part to "what remains of you?" I need to know what Jay wanted to talk to her about!!! My inkling is that he's just as affected as her and selfishly, i hope Minji isn't his gf and is just someone he's been on a few dates with? MAYBE THIS'LL BE A CHANCE FOR THEM TO TRY AGAIN? my heart aches for a happy ending 😭
hehe hi anon! here's a part two for 'what remains of you' - i quickly wrote this up the moment i saw your note so i hope you enjoy ><
BACK TO YOU | P. JS
ᝰ.ᐟ part 1
pairing | ex bf! jay x f! reader
synopsis | jay asks for another chance, leading you to questioning "why now?"
genre + warning | angst, fluff, jay is lowkey embarrassing...
word count | 3.5k
this is a work of fiction and does not depict any accurate representation of any members of enhypen
Jay stops a few feet away, and for a second, he just looks at you—like he’s trying to remember how to breathe. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, shoulders tight, the practiced charm he’d worn all night stripped down to something raw.
“Y/N…” he says finally, voice softer than the music and chatter surrounding you. There’s a weight in the way he says your name, like it’s the first time he’s let himself touch it in years. His jaw works once, like he’s about to spill something heavier, truer—an apology, a confession, anything.
But then, he blinks, and you see it—the hesitation snapping everything shut. His mouth curves into a small, crooked smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“You look… good.”
It lands between you like a stone dropped in water—shallow words that ripple with everything unsaid beneath them. You know it isn’t what he meant to say. You can see it in the flicker of his gaze, the way his fingers twitch against his pockets like they’re itching to reach for you.
And for a heartbeat, you don’t know which is worse: that he came over ready to bare something real, or that he swallowed it back down and left you with nothing but small talk.
"Hey, Jay," you manage to reply, a bubble stuck in your throat.
Thankfully, you were sitting down still, your legs bouncing beneath the table. You didn't think he was going to walk up to you tonight.
Jay steps back a little, studying you with that unreadable expression he’s always been too good at wearing. A beat passes, then another, before he clears his throat.
“Do you… want to go somewhere more private?” His tone is careful, almost cautious, like he knows how reckless the question sounds.
Your stomach flips. You force yourself to look at him, to search for some hint of what he means by that. Your pulse hammers in your throat as you ask, “Would Minji mind?”
For the first time tonight, his mask slips just slightly. His mouth quirks, too dismissive, too light. “She’ll be fine. It’s just talking.”
But the way he says it makes your skin prickle, because it’s not casual at all. You should say no. You should stay rooted here, where the noise and the crowd can protect you from everything you swore you’d buried.
Instead, you hear yourself whisper, “Okay.”
You trail after him through the garden, past the lantern-lit tables and clusters of laughter. He doesn’t say a word as he leads you toward the far edge of the venue, where the noise thins into quiet and the fairy lights fade into shadows.
You stop beneath an ivy-covered archway, the faint music from the quartet drifting like a ghost between you. The air feels heavier here, like even the night is holding its breath.
It’s awkward at first—just the two of you, side by side, staring at anything but each other. You cross your arms over your chest, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Jay runs a hand over the back of his neck, glancing up at the sky like the words he needs might be written there.
Finally, he exhales, sharp and unsteady.
“It’s weird,” he says, voice low. “Seeing you here. Talking to you again like this at Sunghoon’s engagement party.”
Your chest tightens. There’s more in his tone than the words admit—grief, longing, regret all tangled up.
You swallow hard, meeting his eyes at last. “Weird?” you echo, but your voice comes out thinner than you mean.
He doesn’t look away. “Yeah. Because part of me thought I’d never get this again.”
Your throat tightens, but you force the words out. “What do you mean?”
Jay’s gaze flickers, sharp for a moment, then softens into something messier. He drags a hand through his hair, lets out a humorless laugh.
“I mean… how we ended things. I’ve gone over it in my head a hundred times. A thousand, maybe. And I still don’t know if it was worse that I let you walk away or that you let me.”
You stiffen. The air between you sharpens, electric with old wounds.
“It wasn’t just me,” you murmur, stung.
“I know,” he admits quickly, voice low. “That’s the part that kills me. It wasn’t one-sided. We were both stubborn, both tired, both so damn sure the other wasn’t listening. But the truth is—I didn’t say half the things I should’ve said. I didn’t tell you what I was really feeling before it was too late.”
His words tumble out, ragged, urgent, like he’s been holding them in for years. He shakes his head, eyes locking on yours. “It’s been three years, and I still think about that night. About what I should’ve said instead of letting the silence win.”
You shake your head, the ache in your chest twisting into something sharper. “Why are you telling me this now, Jay? What good does this do?”
His jaw tightens. “Because I never got the chance before. Because I can’t stand sitting across the table from you pretending like none of it mattered.”
You scoff, though your throat burns. “Three years. Three years, and suddenly now you want to talk? At Sunghoon’s engagement party? Really?”
“It’s not like I planned this,” he snaps, stepping closer. “But seeing you again—I can’t just bury it like before. I tried. I swear I tried.”
Your pulse hammers, your words tumbling out before you can stop them. “And what about Minji? You think she’d be fine with you dragging me out here for a little confession?”
Something flashes across his face—guilt, maybe—but he forces his tone steady. “This isn’t about Minji.”
“Of course it’s about her!” you fire back, voice cracking. “You’re with her. You chose her. So why—why are you saying this to me now?”
His hands flex uselessly at his sides. “Because it’s you. It’s always been you. And I can’t pretend otherwise when you’re standing in front of me.”
The words hit you like a blow, tearing the air from your lungs. For a moment, you just stare at him, shaking, because you don’t know whether to scream at him or fall apart in his arms.
Your lips part, but nothing comes out. The fire that had pushed your words a moment ago burns out too quickly, leaving you standing there, trembling, breath caught in your chest.
Jay notices—of course he does. He always did. His shoulders heave as he drags a hand down his face, voice rough around the edges now, less sharp and more desperate.
“God, I don’t even know what I’m doing,” he admits, shaking his head. “I didn’t plan on saying any of this. I just—” He swallows hard, eyes locking onto yours. “I saw you and it felt like no time had passed. Like I was twenty again, back in your car, arguing over nothing because I was too damn proud to admit I needed you.”
You flinch at the memory he throws between you. Still, you can’t move, can’t speak. Your silence seems to unnerve him more than anger ever could.
He laughs under his breath, but it’s hollow. “Look at me. Three years later, standing in a garden like some idiot, spilling my guts to you while you can’t even say a word back.”
You finally manage to whisper, “Jay…” but the rest dies in your throat.
His expression fractures—hope, regret, longing all at once. “I don’t know if I want you to stop me or tell me to keep going,” he says quietly, almost pleading. “But say something. Please.”
You open your mouth, ready to force something—anything—out, when a voice cuts through the night.
“Jay?”
Both of you turn. Minji stands a few feet away, her expression curious but edged with suspicion. Her hand is looped around her clutch, her posture too careful, like she’s already piecing together the scene.
Jay goes still. For one suspended second, the world holds its breath—just the three of you caught in the lantern glow, tangled in something fragile and dangerous.
He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, his eyes find yours again, and the look he gives you is heavy—apology, longing, something unfinished burning in the space between you.
Then, almost imperceptibly, he exhales and steps back. He watches Minji as she waits patiently for him, almost like she knew what was happening. Jay looked down at you, swallowing his tears before he straightened his jacket and brushed past you.
No words. Just a look that says everything he couldn’t.
The night air is cooler now, brushing against your skin as you and Jake step into the parking lot, the night coming to an end. Your heels click against the pavement, laughter spilling from your lips before you can even stop it.
“…and then he actually thought it was his drink,” Jake finishes, his grin wide and boyish. You double over, clutching your side, your joy echoing in the near-empty lot. For a moment, the weight of earlier slips away—you almost feel light.
Then you hear it.
“Y/N!”
Your name cuts across the distance, urgent and unshakable. You freeze mid-step, head snapping back toward the venue.
Jay stands framed in the glow of the entrance lights, his tie loosened, hair slightly mussed, chest heaving like he’d run to catch you before you left. His eyes are locked on yours, unwavering.
Jake follows your gaze, his laughter fading into a quiet hum of confusion. “You okay?” he asks, glancing between you and Jay.
You nod and turn back around, continuing your steps with Jake.
But Jay doesn’t give you a chance to answer. He calls again, louder this time, voice cracking on the last syllable. “Wait—don’t go.”
The parking lot stills, the air suddenly thick, and for a second, it feels like every choice you’ve avoided making has been dragged out into the open under the floodlights.
Jake shifts his weight, eyes narrowing slightly as he studies you. “Are you… gonna be okay?” he asks softly, his usual joking tone stripped away.
You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry. “Yeah,” you manage, though the word feels fragile.
For a beat, Jake lingers, like he’s not convinced. But then he nods, squeezing your shoulder once before stepping back. “Alright. I’ll be at the car,” he says, giving you space, his footsteps fading across the lot.
The moment he’s gone, Jay starts moving forward. Slow at first, then faster, his stride purposeful, almost reckless, like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he doesn’t close the gap quick enough.
The distance shrinks until he’s right in front of you, breath uneven, eyes burning with everything he hadn’t said back there in the garden.
You don’t move at first. You just stand there in the middle of the parking lot, Jake’s footsteps fading into the distance, your pulse roaring in your ears. Jay looks wrecked—tie loose, shirt wrinkled, hair falling in a way that makes him look younger, almost like the boy you remember. But the weight in his eyes is heavier, older.
“I can’t let you leave like that,” he blurts, voice carrying across the empty lot. “Not again. Not without saying it.”
The words slice through you, a jolt straight to your chest.
“Saying what, Jay?” you demand, louder than you meant. Your throat tightens, but you push on, needing him to feel even half of what you’ve been carrying. “That you still think about me? That you can’t stop looking at me—even when she’s right there?”
His jaw tenses, but he doesn’t look away.
Your voice wavers, emotion bubbling up no matter how hard you try to keep it down.
“Do you even hear yourself? You’ve got Minji. She’s… she’s your girlfriend, Jay. She’s good for you, isn’t she? She’s smart, kind, perfect on paper. She’s everything I’m not. And you’re standing here asking me to what? Undo the last three years? Just—blow everything up because you suddenly can’t handle seeing me?”
The tears you’d been fighting spill over, hot against your cheeks. You laugh once, sharp and bitter, the sound hollow in the open air.
“God, do you have any idea how cruel that is? To say this now? To put this on me like it’s fair?”
Jay flinches like your words cut him open, but still he doesn’t step back. He takes a breath, shaky but steady enough to force the words out.
“I don’t want her.” His voice is quiet, ragged. “I don’t want someone who just… fits. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
Your chest seizes. The confession twists the knife deeper, makes it harder to breathe. “Then why didn’t you fight for me back then?” you cry, voice breaking as the tears come harder. “Why now, Jay? Why here, of all nights—when I finally thought I was okay?”
He shakes his head, eyes wild like he’s desperate to make you understand.
“Because I was scared. Because I was stupid. Because I thought letting you go was what you needed.” His voice cracks, raw. “And the second I saw you tonight, I realized I never stopped wanting you. I never stopped—” His breath falters, chest heaving. “You’ve haunted me for three years, and I can’t walk away again without you knowing that.”
You wrap your arms around yourself, trembling. Every word feels like it rips you open further. You want to scream at him, tell him it’s too late. You want to collapse into him, tell him you wanted him just as much. Instead, you just shake your head, overwhelmed.
“Do you even hear yourself?” you whisper hoarsely. “She thinks you’re hers. She thinks you’re building a life with her. And now you’re telling me—what? That none of it matters? That I should just ignore the fact that you’ve been with her this whole time?”
Jay’s face twists, guilt flashing across it like lightning. He steps closer, his voice almost breaking. “I know how this looks. I know I’m asking you to hate me. But nothing with her has ever come close to what I had with you. Nothing.”
Your breath hitches, shoulders shaking harder. “Stop,” you beg, but it comes out broken. “Please, just stop. I can’t—”
Jay hesitates, his hands twitching like he’s on the verge of reaching for you. But he doesn’t. He just stands there, close enough to touch, far enough that the space between you feels like a chasm.
For a long, unbearable moment, you’re both caught in the silence—your tears falling freely, his chest rising and falling like he’s barely holding himself together.
And when you finally meet his eyes again, there’s no mistaking it: regret, longing, and the terrifying truth that nothing between you has ever really ended.
Jay drags a hand through his hair, pacing a step like he can’t contain himself. Then he looks at you, voice trembling but fierce.
“Give me another chance,” he says. “Please. I’ll break it off with Minji tonight if I have to. I don’t care how messy it looks—I don’t care what people say. None of it matters if it means I get to fix this with you.”
You blink through tears, your heart lurching. “What? You’re asking me to believe you, just like that? After three years? After everything?”
“I’m not asking you to believe me,” he insists, stepping closer, his voice cracking. “I’m asking you to let me prove it.” His chest rises and falls sharply, his hands shaking as they hover uselessly at his sides. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll wait. I’ll beg.”
And then he does.
Jay sinks down onto his knees right there in the parking lot, gravel digging into his slacks, but he doesn’t flinch. His eyes shine in the dim light, wet at the edges, his voice hoarse as he looks up at you.
“Please,” he whispers. “Don’t tell me I’ve lost you for good. Not when I finally know I can’t live without you.”
Your tears burned hot as they streaked down your cheeks, and you swiped at them furiously, half-ashamed of letting him see you like this. Jay was still kneeling, his suit pressed into the gravel, eyes never leaving yours. His voice broke into the silence again, thick with pleading.
“Please, Y/N. Don’t walk away from me. Not again.”
“God, Jay—” You choked out, shaking your head. “Stand up. People could see us out here. Do you have any idea how ridiculous this looks?”
He didn’t budge. His hands had dropped to clutch at the hem of your skirt, his grip tight, trembling as if you might vanish if he let go. His forehead nearly touched your knees.
“I don’t care if the whole damn world sees,” he said, his words muffled but raw. “I’ll stay down here until you give me an answer. I need to know—do I still have a chance with you, or am I already dead in your eyes?”
His shoulders shook, but his grip on your skirt only tightened. He looked up at you then, and you almost wished he hadn’t—the naked devastation in his eyes carved through your anger like nothing else could.
“She’s not you.” The words cracked out of him like a confession, desperate and shameful. “She never was. She never will be. I thought maybe I could bury it, maybe I could move on. But the second I saw you tonight, I knew I was lying to myself. I don’t want her—I want you. Always you.”
“Stop.” Your voice wavered, half a sob, half a command. “You don’t get to say that."
“I’ll break it off.” He surged forward on his knees, pressing his forehead into your thigh, his voice hoarse and frantic. “I’ll end it tonight. I’ll walk away from everything, I’ll burn it all down if that’s what it takes. Just tell me you’ll give me another chance, and I’ll do it.”
Your fingers twitched uselessly at your sides, aching to push him away, aching to pull him in. The sight of Jay—your Jay—reduced to this, clinging to your skirt like you were his last tether, undid something deep inside you.
“Get up, Jay,” you whispered, voice breaking. “Please, just get up. You’re humiliating yourself.”
“Not until you tell me,” he said, his tone steady even through the wreckage. His hand slid lower, curling around your ankle like he was anchoring himself. “Yes or no. Do I still have a place in your heart, or am I begging for nothing?”
Your lips trembled, words caught on the edge of your tongue. The parking lot stretched around you in silence, the distant hum of music from the party only making the moment more unbearable.
You were standing above him, shattering all over again.
And still, he wouldn’t let go.
The morning air is crisp, carrying the faint scent of damp grass and early blooms. You walk along the path of the quiet park, your sneakers crunching against gravel, heart still jittery from the night before.
You spotted him almost immediately: Jay leaning against a tree, hands shoved into his pockets, that same stubborn set to his jaw that you’ve always known.
“Hey,” he greets, voice low, hopeful, as if he’s been rehearsing this moment in his head a thousand times.
“Hey,” you reply, keeping your pace steady, though your stomach flips like it did in the parking lot.
He falls into step beside you. For a long moment, neither of you says anything, just walking side by side, the world around you both calm and distant. Finally, he stops, turning to look at you, eyes soft but intense.
“I just…” He takes a breath. “I’m not asking for perfection. I’m not asking for all the answers tonight. I just want a chance. I want to try again—with you. No lies, no excuses. I’ll do the work this time, I promise.”
You study him, searching for any sign that he’s playing with your heart, that last night was just another act of desperation. But there’s nothing there. Only the truth, raw and steady, and the same pull you’ve never been able to resist.
“I… I don’t know,” you whisper, voice small, shaky. “It’s not just about saying yes. It’s about trusting that you mean it.”
“I do,” he says simply. “Every word. And I’ll show you, every day if I have to.”
Your chest tightens, but something in you loosens. The hurt from before, the fear of heartbreak—they’re still there, but they’re not stronger than what you feel for him.
Slowly, carefully, you reach for his hand. His fingers wrap around yours instantly, warm, familiar, grounding.
“I’ll give you a chance,” you admit, voice firmer this time. “But don’t make me regret it.”
“I won’t,” he promises, a grin breaking across his face that makes your heart lurch. “I swear.”
synopsis | who knew a simple invite from an old friend would lead you to rekindling with your ex, only finding he's happier than ever.
genre + warnings | angst. that's it.
word count | 2.5k
bea speaks! | i hope that this hopefully filled the void somehow </3 i tried my best to incorporate the "rekindling with an ex and then watching them from afar being happy" but forgive me if i went off track or not what you expected :(
this is a work of fiction and does not depict any accurate representation of any members of enhypen
The envelope sat on your kitchen counter for three days before you opened it. You’d recognized Sunghoon’s handwriting instantly—neat, precise, a little old-fashioned for someone who lived half his life on his phone. You didn’t need to read the return address to know it was from him.
When you finally tore it open, the words inside felt like a punch and a hug all at once.
𖤝 You are cordially invited to celebrate the engagement of Sunghoon & Hana 𖤝
You smiled at first. Sunghoon, of all people—he’d always been the one swearing he wasn’t “built for commitment,” always rolling his eyes whenever someone teased him about marriage. But the longer you stared at the gold embossed lettering, the smile faded into something heavier.
Because if Sunghoon was inviting you… then the rest of the old circle would be there too.
Your chest tightened at the thought. It had been years since you’d seen most of them, years since that world was still yours. You weren’t sure which would hurt more: catching up like nothing had changed, or realizing that everything had.
And then there was him.
Jay.
The name didn’t appear anywhere on the card, but it may as well have been printed in bold across the front. If Sunghoon was inviting the old crew, Jay would be there. And if Jay was there…
You pressed the card flat against the counter, staring down at the "RSVP" written across the bottom. In the end, you'd feel guilty if you didn't show up but at the same time, rekindling old sparks would only burn you into ashes.
It wasn’t just an invitation. It was a time capsule, cracked open. A reminder of the people who’d once felt like family. The laughter, the late-night drives, the inside jokes that still lurked somewhere in your memory like songs you hadn’t played in years.
And him. Always him.
You told yourself it had been long enough. Years, really. Long enough for scars to fade into something manageable, long enough for you to walk into a room and breathe without needing him there. Maybe this was your chance to prove it.
Or maybe it was a mistake.
Your phone buzzed with a new message, as if mocking your indecision. It was from Sunghoon himself, his name lighting up the screen.
“Hope you got my invite! Would mean a lot if you came. Feels incomplete without the whole crew there.”
You stared at it for too long, thumb hovering. He deserved to have everyone he cared about there. You couldn’t make his day smaller just because you were afraid of seeing Jay again.
With a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you typed back a simple reply:
“I’ll be there! So excited for you and Hana."
The moment you hit send, your stomach flipped. There it was—no backing out.
The week after you RSVP’d to Sunghoon’s engagement party was a blur of half-hearted preparation and full-bodied dread.
You told yourself you were fine every time the thought of seeing Jay snuck up on you. You even made lists: outfits that might strike the right balance between casual and devastating, hairstyles that said “I don’t care” while still taking forty-five minutes, conversational openers in case you froze the second you saw him.
None of it made you feel ready.
Every night, you rehearsed little pep talks in the mirror, trying to convince yourself that years of distance had made you immune but your stomach still knotted at the idea of standing in the same room with him, pretending like the both of you weren’t promising each other the world years ago.
By the time the day arrived, your nerves were so frayed that you woke before your alarm. The party wasn’t until the evening, but your brain seemed determined to torture you all day.
So, you poured yourself shots of vodka at ten in the morning. Pregaming for an engagement party probably wasn’t in Sunghoon’s plan, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
“Here’s to not crying in the bathroom,” you muttered, clinking your glass against the mirror.
It helped, a little. Enough to keep going.
On one hand, you needed Jay to see exactly what he’d lost. On the other, even if you tripped, spilled champagne, and made a complete fool of yourself, at least you’d look hot doing it.
And that had to count for something.
By the time you arrived, the sun was just beginning to set, washing the world in that soft golden light that makes everything look like a painting. The venue itself was tucked away behind wrought-iron gates, a garden bursting with color as though it had been pulled straight out of a fairytale.
Cherry blossoms framed the entrance in delicate arches, petals drifting down with the evening breeze. Lanterns floated overhead, their warm glow mingling with strings of fairy lights wound around ivy-covered trellises. Tables dressed in pale linen and scattered with wildflowers lined the space, and somewhere in the distance, a string quartet coaxed music into the air that sounded like bottled spring.
For a moment, you forgot to breathe.
If Sunghoon’s goal was to make his engagement look like something out of a dream, he’d succeeded. And though you told yourself you were here for him, not Jay, a small part of you couldn’t help but think: if you were going to run into your ex, this was the kind of stage it deserved. Magical. Heart-stopping. Impossible to ignore.
“Y/N!”
The sound snapped you out of your reverie. At one of the tables near the center, you spotted familiar faces waving you over. Heeseung’s grin stretched wide, Jake lifted a glass like he’d been waiting for this exact moment, and Sunoo practically bounced out of his seat. The other two boys were chewing away at snacks from the nearby dessert table, still giving the effort to wave even with their cheeks puffed up.
A rush of warmth pushed back against your nerves. These were the people you hadn’t realized you missed until just now—the ones who had once been part of your every day.
You threaded your way across the garden, relieved when you realized one face was conspicuously absent. No Jay. Not yet.
Your shoulders eased as you slipped into the circle of hugs and greetings, letting the comfort of old friends wrap around you like armor.
At least you had a little more time before the real test began.
Ni-ki handed you a glass of champagne they had specifically reserved for you. He raised his glass in a toast: to reuniting once again. Jungwon laughed at his stupidness.
Sunghoon ran over with Hana, greeting all of you just like the old times. You had all been friends in high school but started to lose contact—or just got busy with life—and hadn't talked since. A sense of nostalgia hit you like a bus until you saw everyone's attention facing towards you.
You followed their gazes behind you, the warmth in your chest curdling into something sharper the second you saw who was approaching.
Jay.
He moved through the garden like he belonged there, the glow of lantern light catching the edge of his suit jacket, softening the sharpness of his shoulders. He looked older, somehow, but not unrecognizable—still him, still the boy whose smile and laugh used to unravel you, whose absence had left a hollow you pretended you’d outgrown.
For a dizzy second, the rest of the party blurred into background noise. The string quartet, the clinking glasses, the chatter of friends—it all receded until there was only the echo of your pulse in your ears.
“Jay!” Jake’s voice cut through the fog, warm and unbothered, like nothing monumental was happening. Like this wasn’t the first time in years that your past was walking directly toward you.
You watched as Jake slightly brushed past you, pulling Jay in for a hug. He smiled at them, that same easy curve of his mouth that once felt like it belonged to you. And then, finally, his eyes found yours.
The world tilted.
It wasn’t dramatic—no gasp, no stumble—but the weight of his gaze felt like being yanked back in time, shoved into a memory you hadn’t been ready to relive. You forced yourself to lift your chin, to meet his stare without flinching, even as your stomach churned with every possible version of the night ahead.
For now, though, you did what you’d been rehearsing all week.
You smiled.
Jay’s smile didn’t falter as he stepped forward, arms lifting slightly like muscle memory. A hug. Of course that’s what he went for—he always had, with everyone, especially with you.
But you stayed rooted, hands wrapped tight around the stem of your glass like it was the only thing tethering you.
“Hi,” you managed, polite, clipped. You nodded once, as if you were greeting an old coworker, not the boy who used to know the rhythm of your heartbeat.
His arms froze mid-air for a fraction of a second before he tucked them back into his pockets, the motion so smooth you wondered if anyone else even noticed. The smile stayed, though, practiced and steady—but you saw the flicker underneath, the brief shadow of something unsaid.
“Hi,” he echoed, voice lower than you remembered, more careful.
And then the group swept him up—Jake clapping him on the back, Heeseung pulling him into a proper hug—and the moment passed.
Still, your pulse was sprinting.
Dinner had stretched into that lazy, golden part of the evening where conversation blurred with laughter and wine softened every edge. You’d settled between Ni-ki and Jungwon, their easy chatter distracting enough to keep your nerves at bay. Ni-ki was teasing Jungwon about his “grandpa laugh,” and for a second, it almost felt like high school again—like the years in between hadn’t hollowed so much out of you.
And then you looked up.
Across the garden, Jay stood by the bar, half-turned away from you. His posture was relaxed, one hand curled loosely around a glass. The other… was draped across someone’s waist.
A girl. Her head tilted back as she laughed at something he’d said, hand brushing his chest like she’d always known the shape of him. And Jay—he was smiling. That same devastating curve you used to live for, the one that used to be yours.
The sound around you dulled, Ni-ki’s words dissolving into static. Jungwon said something beside you, but it didn’t land. All you could do was stare.
Your chest burned with something that wasn’t quite anger, wasn’t quite sadness—just that raw, ripping ache of recognition. You’d spent the whole week preparing yourself for seeing him, bracing for polite greetings, small talk, maybe even the nostalgia of old memories. But nothing prepared you for this.
Not for the sight of Jay looking happy in someone else’s life. Not for the way it felt like someone had scooped the air right out of your lungs.
You forced your eyes back to your plate, hands tightening around the fork until your knuckles ached. You could laugh at Ni-ki’s joke. You could nod along to Jungwon’s story. You could pretend like you weren’t bleeding out in silence while Jay’s arm stayed steady around another girl’s waist.
Because that was the cruelest part: he looked happy.
And you wanted that for him.
You just hated that it wasn’t with you.
You tried not to look again, but when you did, it was already too late.
Jay was heading toward your table—her hand looped casually through his arm, like they’d always fit that way. They walked over, the wind carefully drifting through them, almost like this was their engagement party.
Your chest tightened. The air in the garden felt thinner with every step he took.
“Hey,” Jay greeted the table, his voice warm, his smile infuriatingly easy. “You all remember Minji, right?”
You didn’t. But you nodded anyway, because what else could you do?
Minji leaned in with a polite bow, her smile practiced but sweet. “It’s so nice to finally meet everyone. Jay’s told me so much about you.”
The words landed like glass splintering in your chest. You forced your lips into something resembling a smile. “That’s… nice.”
Your hands stayed locked in your lap, every muscle taut. You didn’t trust yourself to touch your drink, not when you could feel Jay’s eyes flicker toward you, searching for a reaction.
But you gave him nothing. Just a smile that didn’t reach your eyes and silence that said everything you couldn’t.
Later that night, it was starting to get chaotic. Everyone had drinks in their hands, dancing to the music, and talking about nonsense. You decided to stick with Jungwon for the night, feeling like you need someone to ground you if you couldn't do it yourself.
You force your face into something resembling a smile when Jungwon nudges you, asking if you’re okay. You nod, but your throat burns, your chest tightens. The glass in your hand suddenly feels like an anchor.
From afar, you watch Jay with her. He leans close to brush her hair behind her ear, and for a moment, your mind flashes to a night years ago when his fingers grazed your cheek the same way. Your chest aches at the echo—because you remember how it felt, and now it belongs to someone else.
Once, those little gestures were yours. Now, they’re hers.
You want him to look at you, to remember everything—but you also hate yourself for hoping. Every beat of your heart is a betrayal: wanting someone who’s already gone, craving a past that’s no longer yours.
And yet—when his gaze suddenly flicks up and catches yours across the room, it’s like being punched in the gut. Because for half a heartbeat, he looks at you the way he used to. Like nothing’s changed.
You remember nights when those same eyes would find you in a crowd, when he’d grin like he had a secret only you were in on. You remember what it felt like to be chosen without hesitation.
But this isn’t that. Not anymore.
The moment cracks apart as quickly as it arrives. Minji touches his arm once more, tilts her head toward him, and his gaze slides away from you like it never belonged. The weight of his hand rests on her back, guiding her forward, steady and sure.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, pressing your palm flat against your thigh under the table. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. That it shouldn’t matter. But the echo of his eyes on yours burns so vividly, it feels like being set on fire.
And still, traitorously, your gaze drifts back to him. Back to the way he bends his head toward her. Back to the way she beams under his attention. Back to the way you’re no longer part of his orbit.
You wonder if he felt it too—that crackle of recognition in the moment your eyes met. Or if you’re the only one haunted by ghosts tonight.
But then, just as you finally force yourself to look away, you hear your name.
Your head snaps up.
It’s him. Jay. Standing a few feet from your table, Minji nowhere in sight, his gaze locked firmly on you.
And for the first time all night, he’s not smiling.
synopsis | feeling the guilt of walking away, you build the courage to speak with jake only to find that it wasn't how you expected it to be.
genre + warnings | full angst (lol)
word count | 5.9k
bea speaks! | sigh... all things come to an end but i hope the series was enjoyable!!
this is a work of fiction and does not depict any accurate representation of any members of enhypen
The morning light filters in through the blinds, soft but uninviting, and it does nothing to ease the weight pressing down on your chest. You wake with that familiar ache in your stomach—the kind that’s not quite hunger, not quite sickness, but a twisting unease that lingers from the night before.
The image is still there, burned behind your eyelids: the photo. Jake’s arm slung around a girl you didn’t know, her smile too easy, his grin careless, like nothing between you two had ever mattered.
You try to push it away, bury it in the pit of your chest, but it claws at you every time you breathe. You can’t even enjoy the food you ordered last night; the bag still sits half-eaten on the counter, the sauce dried and the container lids warped. Every time you glance at it, you think of how you opened the door, saw him standing across the street with flowers in his hand, and shut yourself away before you could even hear him call your name.
You tell yourself you did the right thing. That it was self-preservation. But if that’s true, why does it feel so wrong? Why does guilt sit heavier than relief?
By the time the clock ticks into mid-morning, you’ve had enough of pacing the apartment, enough of sipping lukewarm water only for it to turn sour on your tongue. Enough of replaying every second of last night until your brain buzzes with exhaustion.
You want to stop wondering. You want answers, even if you’re terrified of what they’ll be.
Your hands tremble as you pull on your jacket, the zipper catching once before sliding up. The air outside is crisp, colder than you expected, and you suck in a deep breath like it’ll steady you. It doesn’t.
Each step toward Jake’s place feels heavier than the last. It isn’t far— just a fifteen-minute walk if you don’t think about it too hard but today it stretches like a marathon.
Your mind is a constant war: one second, convincing yourself you should turn back, that you owe him nothing; the next, remembering the look on his face the last time you really saw him, how much his eyes had pleaded with you even when his words didn’t.
By the time you reach his building, your stomach is twisted so tightly you feel like you could unravel. The elevator hums softly as it carries you up, and you press your palms flat against your thighs to keep them from shaking.
The hallway outside his apartment feels too long, too narrow. You stand in front of his door longer than you mean to, staring at the wood grain, tracing the chipped paint near the corner. Your fist hovers, falls, then finally knocks—three soft taps that sound too small in the silence.
Nothing.
The pause stretches uncomfortably. You hold your breath, listening for footsteps, for movement inside. There’s none. After a beat too long, the pit in your stomach deepens. Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe he isn’t even home. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you to stop chasing something that isn’t yours.
You exhale shakily and step back with your chest already tight with regret. You can still walk away and pretend you never came here, never humiliated yourself by standing outside his door like this.
But then the lock clicks.
The door swings open, and instead of Jake, it’s her.
The girl from the photo.
Her hair is pulled into a messy bun, Jake's oversized hoodie falling just above her knees, like she belongs here. Like she’s comfortable in this space. She tilts her head when she sees you, and a small, almost amused smile tugs at her lips.
“Oh,” she says casually, as if she’s been expecting you. “You must be her.”
The words knock the air out of you. You freeze, eyes darting over her face, her posture, the way she leans casually against the door frame as if you’re the one intruding.
“You’ve… heard about me?” The question slips out before you can stop it, brittle and small.
“Yeah. I'm Jiwon, by the way,” she says easily, adjusting the sleeve of the hoodie. “Jake’s mentioned you.” She shrugs, like it’s no big deal, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Didn’t think I’d meet you like this though.”
Her tone is light, but it feels sharp. It slices through you, confirming everything your insecurities have been whispering since you saw that photo. The air is suddenly too heavy to breathe.
Your throat tightens. All you can think is: she’s here. In his space. Wearing comfort like a second skin.
And then you hear him.
“Who is it?” His voice carries from inside, casual, unaware. A shuffle of footsteps, and then he’s there, walking toward the door with a towel slung around his shoulders, hair damp from the shower. He’s rubbing the back of his neck as he approaches, the relaxed smile on his face freezing the moment his eyes land on you.
He stops dead in his tracks.
Your name leaves his lips like it physically hurts him. Soft. Disbelieving. Like he hadn’t thought you’d really come, but some part of him had been waiting for exactly this moment.
You don’t answer. You can’t. The lump in your throat is too thick, your chest too heavy.
For a beat, the three of you stand frozen—Jiwon still leaned against the doorframe, Jake staring at you like he’s seeing a ghost, and you gripping the strap of your bag so tightly it cuts into your palm.
It hits you then, sharp and merciless: this is the end. Even if it isn’t, it feels like it.
Your eyes sting, and before you can stop yourself, they blur. You blink hard, shaking your head as if that will clear them, but it doesn’t. Your vision wavers, and you take a shaky step back.
Jake sees it—you can tell by the way his expression shifts, panic flashing in his eyes. “Wait—” He moves forward, hand reaching out instinctively, but you’re already retreating.
“I shouldn’t have come,” you whisper, though your voice cracks halfway through.
The hallway spins as you turn, footsteps uneven as you force yourself to walk away. The tears spill over, hot against the cold air of the hall, but you don’t stop. You can’t.
Behind you, you hear him.
Your name, desperate, urgent. Then the sound of his footsteps quickening, chasing after you.
Instead of waiting for the elevator, you head for the stairs but Jake catches up to you. His fingers wrap around your wrist before you can push through the stairwell door.
“Wait—”
The word comes out ragged, breathless, like he’s been sprinting even though it’s just a few steps. He pulls you toward him, not roughly, but enough that you stumble back into his space, chest brushing his as he steadies you. His eyes are wide, pupils blown with panic, and his chest rises and falls too quickly, like he can’t catch up to the weight of the moment.
You freeze, breath hitching. His hand burns against your skin, not because of the touch itself, but because of what it means—what it doesn’t mean.
“Let go,” you whisper, your voice trembling but firm enough to sting.
He shakes his head immediately, grip loosening but not releasing. His jaw tightens, and his throat bobs as he swallows hard. “Please. Just… just wait. Let me explain—”
The word explain snaps something inside you. A bitter laugh slips out before you can stop it, sharp and shaky. You tear your wrist from his grasp, holding it to your chest like he scorched you.
“Explain?” Your voice cracks on the word, and you hate how weak it sounds, how much it betrays you. “What’s there to explain, Jake? That because I walked away from you last night, you went and called her instead? That you needed someone—anyone—to fill the empty gaps I left?”
His face pales, and for a split second, he looks like you physically struck him. His lips part, words stuck on the edge of his tongue, but nothing comes out.
The silence between you roars louder than your voice.
"I'm right, aren't I?"
Your chest heaves as the accusations spill out, ugly and raw. “Do you have any idea what it felt like? Seeing her. At your door. Wearing your hoodie like she belongs there. And after everything you told me? Like I was the stupid one for even showing up—”
“You’re not stupid,” Jake cuts in quickly, desperate, his voice sharp enough to slice through your spiral. He steps closer, but you stumble back, your shoulder hitting the cold concrete wall of the stairwell. His hands hover helplessly at his sides, like he wants to reach for you again but knows he’s lost the right.
“You’re not. Don’t ever think that.”
“Then what am I?” you demand, the words bursting out of you before you can think, your throat tight and raw. Your hands ball into fists at your sides, trembling.
“Because clearly I’m not enough. Not enough to stay, not enough to fight for, not enough to keep you from calling someone else the second things get hard—”
“It wasn’t like that!” Jake’s voice cracks, louder this time, the echo bouncing harshly in the stairwell. His chest rises and falls like he’s drowning, like he’s fighting against the current. “I didn’t call her. I swear to you, I didn’t. She just—”
He squeezes his eyes shut, dragging his hands down his face in frustration. “God, you think I wanted this? For you to see that?”
You stare at him, every nerve in your body raw. His words make your chest twist, but the image of Jiwon in his doorway burns hotter, louder, drowning out everything else.
“Then why was she there?” Your voice wavers, softer now, breaking under the weight of your own fear. “You let her in, didn't you?"
The question hangs between you, trembling, fragile. His lips part again, and his eyes glass over with something you can’t place— regret, guilt, desperation. Maybe all of it at once.
But the silence that follows cuts deeper than anything he could’ve said.
You inhale sharply, shaking your head as tears sting your eyes again. You push past him this time, your shoulder brushing his chest. He doesn’t stop you—not immediately. His body goes rigid, torn between holding on and letting you go.
The stairwell felt endless. Each step you took down echoed too loudly, bouncing off the concrete walls and making the space feel suffocating. Your breath came shallow, uneven, like your lungs couldn’t decide if they wanted to keep going or collapse altogether.
You told yourself not to look back. That if you did, if you even so much as glanced over your shoulder, you’d see him standing there— waiting, hoping, ready to pull you back in with words that always seemed to come too late.
So you didn’t.
You pushed through the door at the bottom and stepped out into the street, and suddenly everything around you was moving too quickly. Cars sped past, horns blaring, strangers brushing by without a care, their lives intact while yours felt like it was crumbling in slow motion.
The image of Jiwon’s face lingered, smug in its casualness. The way she leaned against his doorway like she belonged there, like she’d been there before, like she knew him in ways you weren’t allowed to.
And then there was Jake’s face. His eyes wide, his mouth open like he’d been robbed of breath. I didn’t call her. I didn’t want her here.
The words had sounded true. Desperate.
But weren’t they always?
A bitter laugh caught in your throat, sharp and self-deprecating. You shook your head as you crossed the last block to your apartment, your heart pounding with every step.
None of it made sense. None of it lined up. One second you were convinced he’d betrayed you, and the next you were torturing yourself with the possibility that he hadn’t.
You reached your building, your hand trembling as you keyed in the code. The lock clicked, and you slipped inside, letting the door fall heavily shut behind you.
You dropped your bag onto the floor with a dull thud and sank onto the couch without even turning the lights on. The room felt dim, gray with the weak daylight seeping through the curtains. You sat forward, elbows braced against your knees, hands clasped so tightly together your knuckles ached.
But no matter how tightly you held yourself, your thoughts slipped through your grip.
You couldn’t stop replaying it. His hand on your wrist. The look in his eyes when he asked you not to leave. The ache in his voice, like he’d been begging you for something more than just that moment.
Every time you leaned toward believing him, your mind dragged you back. Every time you tried to shut him out, your chest throbbed like you’d left something vital behind.
And the worst part?
You didn’t know which pain was worse.
Jake stood frozen in the doorway long after you disappeared down the hall.
His hand hovered uselessly at his side, fingers twitching like they wanted to chase you but couldn’t. He heard the stairwell door slam, and the silence that followed pressed against his ears so hard he thought he might go deaf from it.
The look in your eyes had gutted him—betrayal, confusion, the kind of hurt that left no space for his words to land. And it was his fault. All of it.
“Jake?”
Her voice snapped him back. Jiwon leaned against the doorframe behind him, one brow raised, still wearing his hoodie like it belonged to her. She hadn’t seen your face, not the way he had. She didn’t feel the ground cave beneath her feet.
He turned, his jaw tight. “What are you doing answering my door?”
Jiwon blinked, her easy smile faltering. “You were in the bathroom. I figured—”
“You figured wrong.” His voice came out sharper than he meant, but the image of you standing there—tears glossing your eyes, body trembling as you accused him — was carved too deep to soften anything.
She crossed her arms. “Okay, relax. It’s not like I said anything bad. She looked at me like she already knew who I was anyway.”
“That’s not the point.” His hands dragged down his face, frustration buzzing under his skin. “She’s not supposed to think you’re—” He cut himself off, teeth sinking into his lip.
“Supposed to think I’m what?” Jiwon tilted her head, her expression hardening. “That I’m not here? That I don’t know you? That I was here first?”
Jake let out a bitter laugh, pacing back a few steps. “God, Jiwon, you don’t get it.”
“Then explain it to me,” she snapped, annoyance rising. “Because I keep getting dragged into this mess without even trying. One second you’re fine with me being around, the next you act like I’m some sort of liability. What am I supposed to do?”
He met her eyes then, and for the first time since the door opened, he realized how wrong this all looked. How it would’ve looked to you. His chest ached, guilt swelling until it was hard to breathe.
“You’re not the one I should be explaining anything to,” he muttered, voice low, defeated.
Jiwon scoffed at that, arms dropping to her sides. But Jake didn’t stay to see her response. He turned, retreating into the kitchen, bracing his hands against the counter as if it could hold him up.
The knock was sharp enough to echo through the quiet of your apartment. You weren’t expecting anyone, not today—not when your head still ached from the night before.
The silence that followed almost convinced you it was nothing at all, maybe just your neighbor’s door slamming down the hall. But then it came again, softer this time, almost tentative.
When you pulled the door open, Jake stood there.
His hair was slightly damp, curling against his forehead like he hadn’t bothered to dry it properly. His chest rose and fell too quickly for someone who had just been standing in a hallway.
And in his hands, clutched so tight the cellophane crinkled, was a bouquet. Not fresh. Not vibrant. Roses and baby’s breath that looked like they’d been bought days ago and carried around far too long. Their petals sagged, their stems bent, and the air carried that faint, sweet rot of flowers well past their prime.
You froze in the doorway.
He tried to smile, but it barely formed, faltering at the corners. “These were for you. That night.”
Something in your chest cracked at the admission, but you forced your jaw to set, forced your shoulders to stay square. You didn’t move to take them.
“Jake,” you started, already tired. “Why are you here?”
“Because I can’t—” He stopped, breath hitching, fingers tightening on the dying bouquet. “I can’t let it end like this.”
You laughed. It was sharp, humorless, cutting through the tension like glass splintering. “Like this? Jake, you ended it a long time ago. Or maybe it never even started.”
He flinched like you’d hit him. “That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” Your voice rose without your permission. “Fair is you showing up with flowers the night you saw me. Fair is you explaining instead of letting me find out from a photo. Fair is not—” You stopped, choking on the words, swallowing them back down hard. Your hand curled tight against the doorframe. “You don’t get to show up now, Jake. Not after everything.”
He shoved the flowers toward you, almost desperate. “I was going to explain. I was—damn it, I was trying. You just walked away.”
Your vision blurred. You blinked furiously, refusing to let him see it. “So you called Jiwon instead, right? You called her because she was the easiest option, right? Is that why you refused to prove it to me that morning?"
His expression twisted, jaw tight, eyes narrowing. “Don’t do that. Don’t make it sound like—like she means something she doesn’t. She’s my friend.”
“Friend,” you repeated, spitting the word like it burned. “Funny, I don’t remember ever being introduced to her. I just remember finding her in your apartment, answering your door like she belonged there.”
Jake dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots like the pain would anchor him. “You think I planned that? You think I wanted you to see her before I could explain anything?” His voice cracked, raw at the edges. “I didn’t. God, I didn’t.”
You stepped back, the distance like armor. “Then what do you want, Jake? Hm? You want me to forget the months you left me hanging? The nights you didn’t call? The way you couldn’t decide if I was worth the effort?”
He moved into the doorway, chest heaving, flowers trembling in his grip. Jake closed the door behind him, wanting to hide his confessions from the world.
“I want—” He cut himself off, shaking his head violently. “I don’t know how to not want you. Even when I’m screwing everything up. Even when I’m making you hate me. I still—” His voice broke. “I still can’t stop.”
Your lips parted, words forming then dying in your throat. Because he sounded like he meant it. Because he looked like he was unraveling right there in front of you, frayed edges splitting apart. But your heart was tired. Too tired.
The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. The only sound was the faint rustle of petals loosening from the stems, drifting to the floor between you.
Finally, you said, “Wanting me isn’t enough.”
His face crumpled. He lowered the bouquet, staring at it like he was only now realizing how dead it looked. Like the weight of what he’d been carrying hit him all at once.
Something in him snapped then. His voice rose, sharp and ragged. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t wake up every damn day hating myself for how badly I’ve handled this?”
He stepped forward, into your space, the air between you electric with anger and grief, his voice rising. “But you walked away too! You saw me standing there and you shut the door in my face.”
Tears slipped hot down your cheeks. “Because I didn’t know how to feel! Because you never let me feel safe with you, Jake! One second you’re here, the next you’re gone, and I—I can’t live on maybes anymore.”
The bouquet slipped from his fingers, landing on your floor with a dull, heavy thud. The cellophane split, roses scattering, petals breaking off on impact. Neither of you moved to pick them up.
Jake’s chest rose and fell sharply, his hands flexing at his sides like he didn’t know where to put them. “You think I wanted it to be this way?” His voice cracked, frustration bleeding through. “You think I don’t hate myself every time I walked away from you?”
You swiped angrily at your cheeks. “Then why did you? Why did you let me believe I was never enough for you? Why did you make me feel like—like I was disposable?”
“I didn’t mean to!” Jake shouted, his voice echoing off the walls. “I was scared, okay? You scared the hell out of me. The way you made me feel, the way I—” He broke off, dragging a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t control it. And instead of facing it, I ran. I thought if I kept it casual, I could survive it. But I can’t. I never could.”
Your laugh was bitter, hollow. “So I was just your experiment? A test run to see if you could handle feelings?”
His jaw clenched. “Don’t do that. Don’t twist it.”
“Twist it?” you snapped, stepping closer, your voice shaking. “You let me think I was crazy for wanting more. You made me feel guilty for falling for you, when you were the one treating me like I was your everything in private. And then you’d disappear, like none of it mattered. Tell me, Jake—what part of that isn’t twisted?”
Jake’s breath shuddered out of him, his eyes glistening though he refused to let the tears fall. “I was a coward. That’s the truth. But don’t you dare say you didn’t matter to me. Don’t you dare.”
You shook your head, the words cutting deep but not enough to soothe the wound. “If I mattered, you wouldn’t have left me guessing. You wouldn’t have let me spiral alone every time you vanished. You don’t get to show up with dead flowers and rewrite history.”
His face crumpled then, anger and hurt warring in his expression. “I’m here now, aren’t I? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“It’s too late,” you whispered, the words trembling as they left you. “You can’t erase the damage just because you suddenly decided to fight for me.”
Jake stepped forward, desperation clawing at his tone. “I don’t want to erase it! I just—I want a chance to fix it. To fix us.”
You flinched as if the word itself burned. “Us? There is no us, Jake. Not anymore.”
Silence thickened, heavy with the weight of everything you both hadn’t said. The roses lay crushed between you, their petals like bloodstains on the floor.
Jake’s lips trembled before the words slipped out, raw and unfiltered.
“I love you.”
The room went still. The world seemed to stop spinning, leaving nothing but the sound of your ragged sobs. You stumbled back a step, hand covering your mouth, eyes wide and brimming with disbelief and pain. The confession echoed in your chest like a cruel trick, something you’d longed to hear yet dreaded in this moment.
Jake stood frozen, chest heaving, his face a storm of guilt, regret, and something unnameable. He didn’t move toward you, didn’t try to reach out. He looked like he’d just set fire to the last bridge between you and didn’t know whether to cross it or let it burn.
And you—you didn’t know if you could ever forgive him for saying it too late.
Your voice cracked as the words slipped out, raw and jagged. “Stop making me want to come back. You’re only ruining me.”
Jake’s expression shattered. For a second, you thought he’d crumble the way you did, fall apart under the weight of everything left unsaid. But instead—his jaw locked, eyes hardening like glass catching fire.
“Ruining you?” His voice was low, dangerous in its steadiness. “You think I’m ruining you?”
You swallowed hard, tears blurring your vision. “What else do you call it? You disappear, you come back, you say things you don’t mean—”
“I don’t mean them?” He laughed, but it was hollow, broken. “You really think everything I said, everything I did for you, was just—what? Lies? Games?”
“You made me feel like I was never enough!” you shot back, your chest heaving. “Like you only wanted me when it was convenient for you—”
“Convenient?” He snapped, finally raising his voice, hands flying to his hair in frustration. “Do you have any idea what I gave up just to try and be what you needed? I bent until I broke for you!”
Your tears burned hotter. “Then why wasn’t it ever enough?”
His face twisted, eyes glinting with something darker. “Because you never trusted me enough to believe I wanted you. Because you always had one foot out the door, waiting for me to fail. Maybe you didn’t love me the way I love you.”
The words struck like knives, sharp and merciless. Your lips trembled, but nothing came out.
He kept going, unable to stop himself, every word dripping with hurt disguised as venom. “You keep saying I ruined you—but maybe you ruined me first. Maybe I’m like this because you never let me in, not really. You kept me at arm’s length, made me feel like I was chasing someone who didn’t even want to be caught.”
“Jake…” Your voice broke, but his didn’t soften.
“I loved you, and I still do,” he said, spitting it like it was poison in his mouth. “But all you ever did was make me feel like I wasn’t enough.”
The silence stretched, heavy enough to choke you. Your sobs filled the room, uneven and broken, while Jake just stood there—eyes red, jaw tight, like he was holding the entire storm inside of him.
Then, unexpectedly, a dry, humorless chuckle broke from his throat. He sniffled, dragging a hand roughly over his face, but the sound was bitter, hollow. “Funny,” he muttered, voice barely audible. “This is how it ends, huh? All that… and this is it.”
You froze, your chest aching. “Jake—”
But he was already moving. He crouched down slowly, his hands trembling as he gathered the bouquet he had dropped, roses now bent, petals scattered and bruised. He held the broken stems in his hands for a moment, staring down at them like they were the punchline of some cruel joke.
There was nothing left of them. Nothing to give. Nothing to fix.
He let out another dry laugh, this one softer, sadder. “Figures,” he whispered, more to himself than to you.
Then he straightened, bouquet clutched limply in one hand. He didn’t look at you—didn’t dare—because if he did, you both knew he might not walk out at all.
When he closed the door behind him, the loud thud echoing in the hallway, the words replayed in his head—I love you—each time twisting tighter, carving into him like glass. He’d meant it, every syllable, but now all he could hear was how wrong it sounded in the wreckage it left behind.
Jake tossed the bouquet in the nearest trash, his movements jerky, frustrated. “You’re such a fucking idiot,” he muttered under his breath, the words a mantra as he walked out the complex.
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