Hey

[dumbdotjpeg]

[sixpenceee]

It turns out flying while Black is an issue, as DC-based music executive Emmit Walker learned just 2 days ago. Thankfully, when a passenger on the same flight as him made racist comments upon seeing him in the ‘priority boarding’ line, he fired back with an absolutely perfect response. (Source)

[sixpenceee]

You can order a shirt here.

[narandzhasta-deactivated2018120]

I have never needed a shirt so much in my entire life.

[onemoretallymark]

SOMEONE GET MY METIS ASS THIS SHIT

[astirknights]

Need this!

[sixpenceee]

LESS THAN 2 DAYS LEFT TO ORDER!!!

LESS THAN 2 DAYS LEFT TO ORDER!!!

LESS THAN 2 DAYS LEFT TO ORDER!!!

[aw31997]

I need this!!

[hogwartzlou]

you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them

[uss-clairvoyant]

Reblog this and put what your phone background in the tags

[aw31997]

Pictures of of kids

[emo-flamingo]

I wish my self esteem was as high as my stress levels

[sixpenceee]

An incredibly rare albino manta ray. Some users say it’s very rare because not only are the chances of being albino rare but also living this long as an albino. They’re harder to warm up and are very easy for predators to spot. (Source)

[funnyjoke]

[humorrelated]

I want to be someone’s favorite person to talk to.

[sixpenceee]

Some memes I thought were important to spread.

[jaeyleo]

the tea is rather hot today isn’t it

[arrancaria]

S C A L D I N G

[pr1nceshawn]

The struggle was real.

[ericaclark1908]

They will never fucking know!

[fonzworthcutlass]

I swear. But I could still send a 2 paragraph text in 30seconds.

[sixpenceee]

Disorders and their respective brain scans on a shirt because mental illnesses are as real and valid as physical illnesses. 

You can order one here

[justedrecoverythings]

bless

[lost-shadow-of-an-idiot]

I want these so much

[pbdjj-blog]

i totally just bought one of these and i can’t wait for it to come in

[gif87a-com]

[bunnyfood]

Bad Boys

[bonepriestess]

This is magical in an entirely different way.

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

remember when you could say stuff like “the earth is round” or “nazis are bad” and be absolutely certain everyone who heard you would agree

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

remember when you could say “we shouldn’t attack children with tear gas” and be absolutely certain everyone who heard you would agree

[sixpenceee]

Abandoned Dollhouses by Juli Steel. Her Instagram is @twistedcopperforest.

[thedarkplume]

This is beautiful!

[aw31997]

I want one!

[afairfight]

“… Sorry for saying BJ at the Oxfam Gala.” – Mae Martin on biphobia

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[whitepeopletwitter]

Can I please get a new nurse?

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

how is this a universal experience?

[tasteslikecoconutandmetal]

male high school bullies: become cops

female high school bullies: become nurses

[aw31997]

Or they are like the girls at my old high school who thaught they were better than everyone else and going to get a better degree than everyone else but they got knocked up and didn’t go to college