Having humility goes a long way in dating up. When men are attractive/wealthy/popular they have a lot of options. Beautiful women are only a prize to average Joe who is lucky to be talked to. The most popular men are the prize. Now if you act like you acknowledge that fact with a specific man it lowers your value. Hypergamy or dating up is tricky.
Women who realize they are not the prize do better than Western special snowflakes whose parents overvalue self esteem. And the same time don’t go all Pick me I’m desperate. Modify yourself to appeal to a class of men, have a rotation and see it as a numbers game.
It’s a balance between not getting too cocky and not being a pick me and most women fail at dating because they go one extreme or the other but success is in the middle.
Saying “Real men this and that” is only a recipe of setting yourself up with a broke dusty who doesn’t want to settle down because they are too broke to raise a family. Unlike some hypergamy gurus I don’t think marrying a billionaire is the key to success though it makes for a juicy media headline. Being both Arab and Eastern European I believe that having some basic standards for financial stability in a gentleman that he is able to raise a family will make it more likely that you are with someone who will marry you, treat you better and it’s the responsible thing to do as intimacy often leads to children.
Women who have some basic financial standards in a relationship are happier. Due to the pandemic men who can meet basic financial standards of raising a family in comfort on one income until children are old enough and part time for some time later is rare. The kind of income that was common for average Joe in the 50s makes a man higher caliber in this post Covid recession since they are much rarer. Thus to have such a gentleman you need to up your game. An affluent man? You really need to up your game further.
Saying “real men” will love you as you are will just ensure that by real men you mean dusties too broke to raise a family.
Dating is a game of cards. Each card has certain value in the market place. When you lose one card you compensate it with another or several others. When you trade in your cards with the other gender they look at the combined value of the whole stack.
I know it offends but fertility and no kids are cards. When you lose those cards you compensate with building other cards like looks and personality. I know women who had the humility to accept they lost some big playing cards and took it stoically and build up other female value cards to the point their deck was worth more than ladies who still had those cards.
For example virginity and low body count are powerful cards on the marriage market. I know women who didn’t have them who had the humility to realize they lost these cards, so they compensated for them, showed they are loyal in other ways and developed themselves to the point that they were much more interesting than a boring young lady who only had her innocence to show for and a personality of card board.
When a lady is 20 she starts with a lot of power cards while men acquire power cards and tend to peak at 40. That leads to a lot of young ladies getting cocky. Oh I have the youth card, low body count card, haha why do I need to work on myself? Then a 40 year old divorcee with two kids single mother who build herself up will take her man.
Let’s not forget Genie Sayles was a single mother when she met her affluent husband. Genie Sayles knew how to win and stand out in pageants and that takes a lot of level up skills. So she stood out from upper class child free plain Janes.
It’s the full deck of cards of being interesting to well off men that Genie Sayles developed that made her stand out from elite women who were so confident they didn’t self develop their stack that high. That’s also why you shouldn’t walk around with this Kevin Samuels “I am the prize” mentality.
Keep developing yourself inside and out like Genie Sayles and level up wholistically, so that you become the prize. Dating is economics at the end, supply and demand. Men look at the full complete package.
Your greatest competition is yourself. The woman who puts the most effort into herself growing does the best, from looks to personality to mindset.
If you have a strong deck don’t get cocky. Your strongest competition comes from ladies who lost or are missing a couple power cards from their decks, and work hard to be a more fun and valuable person to date and marry. The big competition of elite childfree ladies in Texas wasn’t other elite childfree ladies. It was Genie Sayles who was niether born elite not child free but through pageants learned to be more interesting in other ways and stand out more. Don’t get complacent because it’s always women that keep building themselves that win at life.
Don’t get triggered if people say this or that card is low value. You simply compensate with building other value cards.
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