In this world it’s milk or be milked
it’s really not

tannertan36
will byers stan first human second

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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ojovivo
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
we're not kids anymore.
styofa doing anything
Mike Driver
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Monterey Bay Aquarium

if i look back, i am lost

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JBB: An Artblog!
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@awardweiner
In this world it’s milk or be milked
it’s really not
date the person who says, “have fun, be safe, and call if you need anything” not the person who gets mad at you for going out w/o them
hi… ever heard of… bpd…?
hi… ever heard of… not excusing your own abusive behaviors on account of mental illness…?
getting random sharp pain in your organs is a lot like when your check engine light comes on in your car. you dont know what it means so you just ignore it and hope you dont blow up
@danni-rants
I hope something unexpectedly good happens to you this week.
business email glossary
thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i'm not mad at you
thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
i love how half of millenial humor is just thinly veiled cries for help and the other half is dadaist absurdism
my roommate’s on jstor and she just whispered “oh fuck yeah” so that’s the mood
When you find The Paper™
I miss being 8 years old and having no fucking idea what this means
young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care
the fact that once a year we just put the clocks forward an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be for 6 months, and then put it back an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be now is actual proof that time does not exist and is purely a social construct that means literally nothing
where is that cat with the kind and reassuring face
he?
thank you…..
from my moms old photos. glad to know people have been making the same jokes for decades
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
isn’t rick and morty that thing you get when you die and your body gets all stiff
No, thats rigor mortis
rick and morty is a type of tube-shaped pasta
You’re thinking of rigatoni
rick and morty is a numbering system that ranks earthquakes based on seismograph oscillations
no, youre thinking of richter scale.
rick and morty is the pixar movie about a rat who wants to learn how to cook among humans
nah, thats ratatouille
rick and morty is the rich kid from fairly odd parents
That’s Remy Buxaplenty,
Rick and Morty is when you send somone a link or a video and “Never Give You Up” plays
you’re thinking of Rickrolling
Rick and Morty is the 1893 short story by Rudyard Kipling about a young mongoose
no, that’s Rikki Tikki Tavi…
Rick and Morty is a Latin-American pop star best known for “Livin’ La Vida Loca”
No, that’s Ricky Martin.
Rick and Morty is the packaged rice mix that comes in different flavors and is called “the San Francisco treat”.
No, that’s Rice a Roni
Rick and Morty is the term for a lengthy and complicated procedure
No, that’s a rigamarole.
Rick and Morty is a two or three-wheeled passenger cart.
anyone in this thread smoke weed
adults: record numbers of teens are depressed, we must find out why
teens: school is more stressful than ever, our parents screwed over the economy, the earth is on a path to total environmental destruction, and now we have to deal with actual fuckin nazis
adults: it's the iphones isn't it
One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified
#stop calling me out
protect her