The Rules of the House
As in many other religions, gambling is forbidden (haram) in Islam. There are good reasons for this, of course, but all the same, some exposure to the inner workings of the gambling business can provide a useful allegory for certain aspects of human life.
So, for those of you with little experience in this area, consider the following a primer on the fundamentals. And for those of you who think you already know the game, this might be useful for you too.
In the world of gaming there are players, and then there is the House. The House runs the game. The players buy chips from the house to play. Some players may start off with more resources than others, but regardless, at the end of the game, the results are always the same. Those who do well cash in their winnings to be rewarded by the House. Those who lose the game lose their chips, and if they over extend themselves, may even end up in debt to the House.
Gambling, like all games depends on rules. The rules of each game apply specifically to that game, and there’s plenty of flexibility on what can be played. For just about any game, popular or otherwise, there is a way to gamble on its outcome, and for the House, gambling is a business.
In addition to the rules of any given game, there are also always certain House rules common to every establishment. And while these rules may seem to be there for the sake of the players, they are mostly about protecting the interests of the House. The first and most important rule for the House is actually an unwritten one, but one every good player knows it:
The House always wins.
This doesn’t mean that the game is rigged against the players, far from it. It’s always possible to win at any game, and if they’re good or just plain lucky, players can indeed win big. But, play long enough and eventually the odds always stack in the House’s favor.
This applies to any game in which the players play against the House, but there are also certain games which the House can’t guarantee the odds will always remain in their favor. For these, the House sets up tables and sponsors competition between players, always taking a cut of the winnings. Again, no matter what, the House always wins.
In order to ensure fairness, the Rules of the Game (every game) are always posted. And in order to protect the interests of the House, the Rules of the House are also always posted.
As with any game in question, there is always some flexibility on the exact formula of the House rules, but the purpose of both types of rules is to ensure that everyone is playing the same game, and to outline what happens to those who fail to abide by the rules.
The Rules of the Game define what constitutes fair play and what’s considered cheating. The Rules of the House mainly concern conduct under its roof, and in particular, how the House deals with cheaters. Details vary between establishments, but the number one rule of the House that’s always posted boils down to this:
The House reserves the right to remove any player from any game at any time for any violation of the rules, and to shut down any game compromised by cheating.
As a matter of standard practice, the House is required to provide three notices, and only three notices, before enforcing any penalties. The first notice is the posted rules themselves. The second is the notification that there is an infraction followed immediately by the subsequent removal of the player from the game. And the third is what we could call the “notice of consequences”. This occurs after a cheater’s removal at which time he or she is informed of the penalty that will be applied.
Generally there are usually three possible penalties:
1) The first is that the House will (forcibly or otherwise) eject him or her from the establishment, and possibly ban that player for life.
2) The second possibility occurs after the ejection if the cheater has not only violated the Rules of the Game, but also the law of the land. In these cases, he or she will then be turned over to the appropriate legal authorities.
3) The third possible penalty is that the cheater will be brought back before the Manager of the establishment who will decide on a course of action. This occurs when ejection is not sufficient, and when the law of the land may not provide sufficient redress for the interests of the House to be satisfied. At this point, it’s important to be clear: regardless of how shady or how above board the establishment may be, YOU NEVER WANT TO BE BROUGHT BACK BEFORE THE MANAGER FOR BREAKING THE RULES. It will never go well for you. Ever.
There are so many options besides cheating. You can always play another game if the one your at isn’t working out for you. You can pull your resources with friends. Or, you can always just take your winnings or accept your losses at any moment and move on. But if you decide to violate the Rules of the Game or the Rules of the House, the last thing you want is the attention of the Management.
Different Managers have different styles. Some are quiet and reserved, and some have big oversized personalities. All of them, however, are all about one thing and one thing only: business. The interests of the House are their interests. And regardless of how friendly they may be, or how much time they spend mingling on the floor, most of their real work is done in back out of the sight of players in service of the House. Seasoned players know this, and even the biggest risk-takers among them know, when the Manager takes a keen interest in you, if your game is not 100% above board, you’re about to have a very bad day. Occasionally, there are soft-hearted Managers who may interject their attention to serve as a friendly warning, but in any betting game, tipping your hand too soon can cause problems later.
So, you may be lucky enough to get a friendly extra warning, but don’t count on it. Usually the best outcome you can hope for if you get caught cheating is for someone from the House to come up to you immediately and quietly ask you to step away.
In particular, there is one incredibly dangerous scenario that every experienced player knows to avoid. That’s when the Manager of the establishment walks up to your table, and with a friendly smile says something to the effect of “That’s quite a game you got going there. Mind if I join you for a hand?”
This may seem flattering. It is not.
This may cause you to call into question the propriety of the Manager. Do not be fooled.
The Manager has no need to win or lose at any game. The Manager serves the House. There is no establishment that would ever be foolish enough to put anyone in a management position that could be easily swayed by personal pride or greed enough to jeopardize his or her own standing or the interests of the House.
Again, every experienced player knows that when a manager sits down at their table, the game is effectively over. They know the Manager is not there to play the game. The Manager is there to represent the House, and the House always wins.
Good players know that when the stakes are high and there are too many factors out of their control, that’s the worst time to gamble. Anytime a Manager is at the table, that means the House is taking control, and the stakes are as high as they can possibly get.
Cheaters, however, by their very nature are almost always immune to such clear thing. Cheaters, no matter how they start, and no matter how noble they imagine their game to be, usually degenerate into nothing but greedy, self-serving liars with poor self-control. Yet they almost always consistently fool themselves into thinking that they are, in fact, always in control. To a degenerate cheater, going up against the House is an addictive thrill, and beating the Manager of the Establishment himself at his own game is the ultimate validation of their mastery of the game. But, of course, not every cheater is a complete degenerate, and when playing face to face against the Management, some might choose to let the Manager win.
However, this is really just another form of cheating. The House is always the true master of every game, and always has ways of spotting irregularities that most players can’t even imagine.
So now the Manager has sat down at the table to play a hand. At this point, the cheater has three options:
1) Get up and walk away. Assuming the Manger lets this happen, there is a good chance the House already knows what he or she is up to, and at some point between the table and the door, security will show up to hopefully quietly escort him or her out. Maybe it’s to a permanent ban, or worse, into the hands of the law. Just as long as it’s not to the back room…
2) Stay at the table and play. If the cheater does this, he or she maybe get lucky enough to either win or lose a few hands honestly. However, the Manager is there for a reason, and will most likely keep the game going until either the cheater’s true character reveals itself, or until he or she loses everything. At which point, the cheater can hope that the House will view getting busted out as a sufficient punishment (or at least severe enough to go easy on them when it comes time to get shown to the door…)
3) Revert to type at some point, and try to break the rules. The cheater might decide that he or she is really that goo, and actually beat the Manger at a few hands, or use their tricks to allow the Manager to win. In either case, the game is over.
When the cheater gets up to walk away under his or her own volition, they may very well have one last moment of elation as they savor the victory of beating the House at its own game. They may even make it to the door without consequences. They may never even see or hear who or what grabs them to drag them to them to the back, and very likely, no other player will ever see or hear from them ever again.
The House always wins. …
But hang on, now!
We’ve all seen the brilliant heist movies where, against all odds, the plucky and charming good guy rouge plays a clever game, and scams the crooked bad guys running the house out of millions, right? It’s happened in real life before too, right? The House can’t really always win, can they?
Well, even if we ignore loaded questions like who the “good guys” and “bad guys” might be in any gambling scenario, in the end, gambling is always about playing the odds, and sometimes long odds to do come up.
What if a cheaters goes up against a Manager and actually manage to win big and beat the House with the Management either none the wiser, or at least unable to prove anything?
In such a case then the cheater walks away a winner, but then one of two things will likely happen:
1) The Management either shuts down the table, or ends the entire game forever because it creates too much of a potential liability.
2) The House decides to cut its losses, and shuts down the entire establishment.
So maybe, just maybe, gamblers who cheat can beat the House and win, but the cost of not losing at the game is usually losing the entire game itself.
Now, when we’re talking about the business of gambling, that might seem like an acceptable loss. Of course, having to contend with all the other alienated players who are now also out of the game might actually be worse than dealing with the House itself, but still, there are certainly worse things that could happen.
However, when we look at this all as allegory for human life itself, well, that’s a different matter…










