Bah

go

[thedevilishprince-blog]

✖ no rest for the wicked - cartman&damien

[awesomeandkewleric]

Ah- finally, Eric got to have his delicious KFC! His mouth, for months now, has been watering for the mashed potato with gravy, the crispy skin of the thighs and legs and the extra chicken bowl that combined all the things he loved about that fast food place. He smiled to himself because now, he got to actually eat something good, rather then the shit at home that was probably spoiled. 

Over all, today seemed like it was going to be a great day for Eric Cartman-

Until Damien showed up.

“W-what the fuc-,” After being scared shitless by Damien suddenly appearing in front of him, he dropped the bag full of food. He looked down in horror and hurriedly picked it up, noticing that the chicken bowl’s top was off, cracked and some of his delicious mashed potato was out inside the main bag.

 “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT-” He yelled, then furiously glared up at Damien. “GOOD JOB ASSHOLE- YOU MADE ME DROP MY FOOD!” He stood up and reached forward to grab his shirt and pulled him towards him. “You’re gonna buy me a new fucking bowl, dick bag, you fucking hear me?!” He didn’t care if he was yelling at the son of Satan, Damien fucked with his food and no one was safe when Eric’s food is fucked with. 

[thedevilishprince-blog]

[✖] – “Well you certainly haven’t changed, huh?”

Damien then chuckled at the turn of events before he reached up to seize Cartman’s hand and yank it off his shirt, staggering back away from him with a line of laughs slipping past his lips. “Besides, it’s not my fault your stubby fingers can’t get a good grip on your food.” He then coasted his hands into the pockets of his jacket and floated up a bit from the ground, finding it easier for him to move swiftly just in case the beefy mortal decided to jump at him again.

“But don’t worry, Tubs. I don’t mind buying you food.” He nodded over to the direction of the restaurant nearby. “In fact, why don’t you eat with me? We can catch up with each other and whatnot. We may not be friends but we can change that.” In all honesty, Damien didn’t really give two shits about making friends in South Park since he won’t exactly be staying here for long. But he didn’t have anything better to do and perhaps conversing with Cartman could get him involved in his usual antics.

Eric Cartman was always up to no good after all.

[awesomeandkewleric]

Cartman glared at him, glanced at the KFC bag and then back at him again. A free meal was always a good thing, but he still has food in his bag. He decided that he’d  let Damien pay for more food for him and then eat his left over KFC later.....probably as soon as he got home. Eric was always hungry and being full was never an option.

“Fine.” He muttered before huffing, “But I don’t want to catch up or anything gay like that. I came over here to do one thing and that is stuff my face.” He crossed his arms, still glaring up at the floating Demon, “And I’m not giving you my soul or anything just because you payed for my meal.” He read and watched too many supernatural shows/books/movies to know how tricky Demons could be. “Nor is this an invitation for me to get fucked by you because you wined and dined me. Now, I gotta put my food in the car, and then we can go to the restaurant” He made his way to his parked car, not caring if Damien followed him or not. He opened the door, placed the KFC bag in the back seat, patting it slightly, and slammed the door shut.

“Now, where are we eating at?”

[awesomeandkewleric]

Yes!-

 “Erm, I wanted to know if you’re having that special at your job, with the 50 wings for 10 bucks??” He hoped he didn’t miss it. He didn’t check to see when the deal was going to end- so he hoped to god they were still doing it. 

“Oh- and if they are, I’d like to reserve a table, for only me- and I don’t want any chicks coming over to me to chat either! Can you do that for me??”

[offawna]

Of course, everyone always wanted to talk to her for their own gain, never to just see how she was doing.  With a sigh, the teen closed her locker and shifted her weight to her other leg.  “It’s ending tomorrow, and I can’t really reserve you a table– you’ve got to call the restaurant,” she spoke.  What did he think, she owned Raisins?  She was just a worker and couldn’t do much outside of the building when it comes to special seating requests.  Even if they were at the restaurant he’d have to call ahead.

[awesomeandkewleric]

“Fuck, really?” He groaned, “Okay fine, I guess I’ll be going to today then...” He sighed, “I wasted time talking to you since you can’t do shit for me. What’s the point in working there if you can’t make reservations for customers! Haven’t you been working there since..” He looked her up and down and then started laughing.

“Wait a sec, you’re that chick Butters was in love with and was crying about when you dumped him. Hahaha holy fuck, does he know you’re in this school?”

[broflovxki-blog]

a piece of cake;; kyle/cartman

[awesomeandkewleric]

Eric was about to roll his eyes and mention that football practice was canceled today, but became silent as soon as Kyle mentioned presents…

“P-present?”

He slowly looked down at the gift card, completely shocked. Why? Because one, it was Kyle of all people giving him one, and two, here he thought that he wouldn’t get anything today because he felt like no one cared. 

It was sad that Kyle’s present was the one thing that lifted his day up…just a little. 

He picked up the card and smiled a little before glaring at Kyle. “The fuck, only 25? Am I supposed to get the food for only one fucking day? 25 dollars, what a fucking joke. Tell your mom that she needs to stop being a greedy Jew and put out more money- that’s not going to give me shit.” He rolled his eyes, yet stuffed the card in his hoodie pocket. 

[broflovxki-blog]

Figures.

“Demanding for more makes you the greedy one, asshole. Most people would say thank you.” Kyle shoots him a glare before starting to eat his meal, not entirely pissed at Cartman’s attitude since he actually saw that coming. Who wouldn’t? Besides, the dude still shoved the card into his pocket anyway so that’s good enough for Kyle. He already got the picture that Cartman is having a crappy birthday and while Kyle would want to relish on that fact, he decides to keeps that to himself.

If he so much as tells him that actually did forget his birthday and that it was his mom who reminded him about it earlier this morning, he knows very well that Cartman will either initiate one of his childish tantrums or just pout all day. Either way, he’s like a giant baby.

“So what do you wanna do for your birthday?” He asks just for the sake of filling the silence while expecting for his chubby companion to gloat about a huge party and tell him that he won’t be invited.

[awesomeandkewleric]

He waved his hand at Kyle, “I don’t say thank you to cheep assholes. Besides, your people don’t know the concept of being thankful for shit.” He finishes his soda and throws drops it at the nearest trash can, missing completely. 

Eric sat there waiting for Kyle to say something after going silent. God, he wanted to leave already- and he probably will when the last class starts. He looked up at Kyle who broke the silence and he sighed, not wanting to talk nor knows what he wanted to do at all for his birthday.

“Well, I’ll probably just go to KFC, buy my one day meal with your 25 dollar gift card, chill at home and cut my wrists to some emo music that’ll play on the radio....oh, and listen to my mom breath out heavily as her boyfriend ravishes her!” He made a sour grin, “That’s my birthday plans Jewboy~ I know, Exciting, aint it?” 

He knew he sounded really depressed, but fuck him, he was going to be gloomy because he had the right to be. 

[thedevilishprince-blog]

✖ no rest for the wicked - cartman&damien

[✖] – Wandering around town– that was about all what Damien could do here but he didn’t mind it much. He appreciated the silence the place provided him. It was a huge pleasant change compared to all the rambunctious noises back at home. Before, he was so obssessed with drowning himself in the screams of agony every time he slaughtered souls but now, the sounds were nothing but sheer inconvenience to him. His entire life had just become a boring routine.

South Park has gotten boring too but to a meager extent. It was tolerable. All the mortals already welcomed him with open arms, some of them even telling him that they owed Satan for saving their town which wasn’t exactly something you’d hear from humans everyday. Damien crossed his arms behind his head as he aimlessly strode down the sidewalk.

“Hm?” He glanced over to the side to see Eric Cartman just stepping out of the new KFC restaurant that just opened up a few weeks ago. Finally, a familiar face to bother. Damien then sunk through a crimson void down into the ground, teleporting himself to where the tub of lard could be located and as he did, he rose up from the ground once again to block Cartman’s path.

“Hey, tubs~” He winked with a lazy grin. “Alone today, huh? Where are your little friends?”

awesomeandkewleric

[awesomeandkewleric]

Ah- finally, Eric got to have his delicious KFC! His mouth, for months now, has been watering for the mashed potato with gravy, the crispy skin of the thighs and legs and the extra chicken bowl that combined all the things he loved about that fast food place. He smiled to himself because now, he got to actually eat something good, rather then the shit at home that was probably spoiled. 

Over all, today seemed like it was going to be a great day for Eric Cartman-

Until Damien showed up.

“W-what the fuc-,” After being scared shitless by Damien suddenly appearing in front of him, he dropped the bag full of food. He looked down in horror and hurriedly picked it up, noticing that the chicken bowl’s top was off, cracked and some of his delicious mashed potato was out inside the main bag.

 “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT-” He yelled, then furiously glared up at Damien. “GOOD JOB ASSHOLE- YOU MADE ME DROP MY FOOD!” He stood up and reached forward to grab his shirt and pulled him towards him. “You’re gonna buy me a new fucking bowl, dick bag, you fucking hear me?!” He didn’t care if he was yelling at the son of Satan, Damien fucked with his food and no one was safe when Eric’s food is fucked with. 

[awesomeandkewleric]

benzcver

“Fuck, where’s that chick at-” 

Eric spotted the dirty blond girl at her locker and smirked brightly. He knew she worked at Raisins and she would know if they were really having a 50 chicken wings special for only 10 dollars sale at her job! He brushed his hair back and cleared his throat before swaying over to her. Once near her, he cleared his throat again to get her attention. “Are you, by any chance, Mercedes Reece? The girl who works at Raisins?”

[offawna]

The girl paused, glancing over her shoulder at the male.  “Uhm… yes,” she replied, tugging her bag over her should and turning her full attention to him.  “Can I help you?” she asked, wondering why so many people suddenly wanted her attention.  It was surreal, being ignored all through school then finally being wanted right as it was coming to an end.

[awesomeandkewleric]

Yes!-

 “Erm, I wanted to know if you’re having that special at your job, with the 50 wings for 10 bucks??” He hoped he didn’t miss it. He didn’t check to see when the deal was going to end- so he hoped to god they were still doing it. 

“Oh- and if they are, I’d like to reserve a table, for only me- and I don’t want any chicks coming over to me to chat either! Can you do that for me??”

[broflovxki-blog]

a piece of cake;; kyle/cartman

[awesomeandkewleric]

Eric was glaring at his food tray, thinking about how his friends were a bunch of asshole Jews. They didn’t say shit to him all day and now they didn’t even sit with him during lunch? How fucking messed up is that? He grumbled to himself before stuffing a french fry in his mouth. Today was his birthday, and for once, he’d like for someone to congratulate him for being born on this day. He’d always have to remind people and then someone like Stan would be like, ‘Oh dude it is? Um…happy birthday?’ What the fuck man. He sighed, chomping on the next fry, oh well. It wasn’t like his birthdays were anything special anymore, since his mom didn’t do shit, other then promise him something that she’d forget to do once she put crack into her system. He bit his lower lip and was thinking about leaving before his red-headed friend sat down across from him.

He was surprised that Kyle was the one to actually come and wasn’t under Stan’s asshole, ditching with him. However, it didn’t make Eric feel any happier and he was kind of pissed it wasn’t Kenny who came..being his fucking close friend and all. He looked down at his tray and muttered, “Sup Jew. I see you’re the only one who’s coming to lunch today- I wonder, did Stan and Kenny not give you the memo of not sitting with me because it’s ditch Cartman on his birthday day?” He uttered, “Better hurry, Stan’s probably waiting for you.”

[broflovxki-blog]

Oh, so he’ll be dealing with an emotional Cartman today. At least it was still better than dealing with his psychotic side so Kyle knew better than to complain about that. He rolled his eyes at his friend’s assumption even though he had the exact similar thought too but saying that out loud would be far too idiotic. He liked pushing Cartman’s buttons but he will have to make an exception for today, seeing as it’s the guy’s birthday after all.

“Dude, quit pouting. Stan is probably in the middle of an emergency meeting with his football team and Kenny’s probably looking for a last minute present for you.” That seemed likely. He doubted Kenny would intentionally ditch Cartman’s birthday but he can’t exactly say the same thing for Stan. “Speaking of presents, here.” He dug into the pocket of his jacket before tossing a red card onto Cartman’s side of the table. “It’s was Mom’s idea to give you a KFC gift card. I dunno, it seems convenient for your fat ass.”

[awesomeandkewleric]

Eric was about to roll his eyes and mention that football practice was canceled today, but became silent as soon as Kyle mentioned presents...

“P-present?”

He slowly looked down at the gift card, completely shocked. Why? Because one, it was Kyle of all people giving him one, and two, here he thought that he wouldn’t get anything today because he felt like no one cared. 

It was sad that Kyle’s present was the one thing that lifted his day up...just a little. 

He picked up the card and smiled a little before glaring at Kyle. “The fuck, only 25? Am I supposed to get the food for only one fucking day? 25 dollars, what a fucking joke. Tell your mom that she needs to stop being a greedy Jew and put out more money- that’s not going to give me shit.” He rolled his eyes, yet stuffed the card in his hoodie pocket. 

[awesomeandkewleric]

spiritedprodigy

Fucking Wendy. Her raven hair pissed him off. So long and full..

‘Pff,  who the hell does she think she is’ Eric muttered to himself, twirling his pen in between his long, chubby fingers. The classroom was silent, taking notes on the subject the teacher had all splattered on the chalkboard, and Wendy was the main one focused on making sure she had everything, that’s what he concluded by her centralized face. He stared at her more, getting pissed off even more because he knew she wasn’t going to look back at him. Why does he want her to look at him? Who knows. All he knew was that this girl was making him mad for some reason and he wanted to fuck with her so badly. 

[spiritedprodigy-blog]

She could seriously feel a pair of eyes focusing on her for a quite a long time now but then she still refused to look up from her notebook, not sure who she will catch staring at her. She never liked being the center of attention unless she was in the midst of a speech or a debate. Being provided attention just makes her uneasy and somewhat self-conscious. After a few more minutes though, her curiosity got the better of her.

She looked back over her shoulder as subtly as she could, her eyes scanning her classmates until she caught Eric looking back at her. Instinctively, she frowned. What does he want now? “What?” She mouthed, making sure not to make a sound and catch their teacher’s attention.

[awesomeandkewleric]

‘Shit-’  He dropped his pen in surprise.

He didn’t expect her to look back and it caught him off guard. This is what he wanted, but it was a little weird, since Wendy was actually looking at him in reality now. He then frowned and childishly stuck his tongue out before mouthing back, “Nerd.” He smirked to himself hoping it would make her mad, but even he knew it was lame. He was bored and doing anything else would catch the teachers attention, and he really did not feel like being bitched out today by the fucking big-headed, rusty, so called teacher who’s breath smelled like ass.

[broflovxki-blog]

a piece of cake;; kyle/cartman

“Where are Stan and Kenny?”

Kyle blinked in utter confusion the very second he reached their usual lunch table, his tray of kosher meal already in hand. He had grown accustomed to spending his lunch hour with the entire gang but it seemed that there will be a slight difference for today. Specifically, on Cartman’s birthday. Kyle was never comfortable with change but perhaps the two dudes have good reasons for their absence. Maybe they wanted to ditch lunch today just to avoid their chubby friend shoving the fact that it’s his birthday to other people’s faces. If they really did plan that, then Kyle will have to kick their asses for not counting him in.

Now he had to adapt to this odd change.

Still, that didn’t mean he’d enjoy eating alone with this asshole who goes by the cringe-worthy of a name, Eric Cartman. He didn’t have much of a choice though so he settled on sitting down from across the taller male, fighting back the frown of disappointment that was just clawing its way up to his lips.

[awesomeandkewleric]

Eric was glaring at his food tray, thinking about how his friends were a bunch of asshole Jews. They didn’t say shit to him all day and now they didn’t even sit with him during lunch? How fucking messed up is that? He grumbled to himself before stuffing a french fry in his mouth. Today was his birthday, and for once, he’d like for someone to congratulate him for being born on this day. He’d always have to remind people and then someone like Stan would be like, ‘Oh dude it is? Um...happy birthday?’ What the fuck man. He sighed, chomping on the next fry, oh well. It wasn’t like his birthdays were anything special anymore, since his mom didn’t do shit, other then promise him something that she’d forget to do once she put crack into her system. He bit his lower lip and was thinking about leaving before his red-headed friend sat down across from him.

He was surprised that Kyle was the one to actually come and wasn’t under Stan’s asshole, ditching with him. However, it didn’t make Eric feel any happier and he was kind of pissed it wasn’t Kenny who came..being his fucking close friend and all. He looked down at his tray and muttered, “Sup Jew. I see you’re the only one who’s coming to lunch today- I wonder, did Stan and Kenny not give you the memo of not sitting with me because it’s ditch Cartman on his birthday day?” He uttered, “Better hurry, Stan’s probably waiting for you.”

[awesomeandkewleric]

benzcver

“Fuck, where’s that chick at-” 

Eric spotted the dirty blond girl at her locker and smirked brightly. He knew she worked at Raisins and she would know if they were really having a 50 chicken wings special for only 10 dollars sale at her job! He brushed his hair back and cleared his throat before swaying over to her. Once near her, he cleared his throat again to get her attention. “Are you, by any chance, Mercedes Reece? The girl who works at Raisins?”

[awesomeandkewleric]

spiritedprodigy

Fucking Wendy. Her raven hair pissed him off. So long and full..

‘Pff,  who the hell does she think she is’ Eric muttered to himself, twirling his pen in between his long, chubby fingers. The classroom was silent, taking notes on the subject the teacher had all splattered on the chalkboard, and Wendy was the main one focused on making sure she had everything, that’s what he concluded by her centralized face. He stared at her more, getting pissed off even more because he knew she wasn’t going to look back at him. Why does he want her to look at him? Who knows. All he knew was that this girl was making him mad for some reason and he wanted to fuck with her so badly.