You find yourself foraging in the forest. It is quiet, calm. You enjoy your time out here, its peaceful. You found some fine berries earlier. They'll make a fine snack, you tell yourself. As you go along your way your can hear a sound nearby. It sound's like...grunting. You go towards it, perhaps against your better judgement. You move through some bushes and come upon a clearing. In the center is what appears to be a goblin. He's laying on his stomach, repeatedly pushing himself up and then lowering down again. How strange.
You soon see that this is no ordinary goblin. By the gods...this goblin is shredded.
Somehow, the fact that he's only three feet tall only makes it worse. His tank top looks like it's a size to small. You didn't even know goblins wore tank tops, or booty shorts for that matter. Booty shorts that also appear to be too small, even for booty shorts. The goblin turns his head and notices you. He quickly jumps up and stares back. You see the name "Krug" spelled out across his tank.
After a brief and tension filled silence, the goblin, who you assume is Krug, speaks.
"Hey bro, you checkin' out the gains over here?" the goblin says
You're confused and ask him what he means by "gains".
"You ever seen a goblin with beef like this?" the goblin continues as he flexes.
You marvel at the fact that his clothes don't simply explode off of him. You reaction seems to please the goblin. This earns you more flexing.
"So what kind of routine you got, bro?" asks the beefy goblin
You tell him you aren't really sure what he means, and that you were just out collecting berries and the like. He looks at your berries then up at you.
"Sorry bro, but those berries are crap. You ain't gonna get much outta those berries. You want the purple berries bro. Way better. Mix them with the right shrooms and nuts and you got serious boost fuel. Really helps with the gains bro. It's all about the gains."
The goblin continues on about things like "reps" and "sets" and how big a boulder he can lift. He begins showing you the various routines that he apparently does. You find it increasingly difficult to actually care though. You'd like to leave but, well, buff goblin. Soon, however, you are interrupted by a new voice.
"You don't want to listen to this flabby bod, bro. He doesn't know what he's talking about."
You and Krug turn and see another goblin enter the clearing and he is just as cut as Krug. This new goblin is dressed in a similar manner to Krug, with the name "Tuggo" across his tank top.
"Yo, what did you just say bro?" asks Krug incredulously.
"I said you don't know what your talking about with that baby beef of yours." answers Tuggo.
"Baby beef? BABY BEEF?! This beef is solid, bro! You're practically veal!"
"You wanna go, bro? You better step back!"
This goes back and forth for a while, with them insulting each others routines and beef strategies despite the fact that they all sound like the same things to you. There's a lot of arm movement and chest thrusting but no one actually throws a punch or anything. You slowly begin backing away. Slowly, but surely you manage to leave the clearing.
You return home and finish your day. As you rest in your bed that night, however, you find your self thinking of Krug. Not so much Tuggo, mostly Krug. But not just Krug. Something deeper, more primal. A single word that resonates within' you.
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