Summary: The next morning, the princess intends to avoid Valarr. She instead meets some members of her new family.
Word count: 2.9k
Warnings: some left–over angst, sorta spoilers via prophecy? Reader is mentioned to have hair (texture, length or color NOT described).
A/N: it's getting harder and harder to not give the reader a name ngl lmao. Anyway, I do my absolute best to keep her description completely neutral, so if you notice anything that describes her appearance (besides the hair mention), please let me know!
Cross-posted on AO3 (registered users only).
She woke up the next day with her eyes nearly swollen shut and an unbearably heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. The sun had barely risen from the horizon, letting her know just how little sleep she had gotten. She let out a groan, twisting her body away from the window in annoyance.
She could not bear the thought of having to see her new husband any time soon. She quickly decided she was going to try and avoid him, at least for today. The thought of being made to look into his infuriatingly beautiful eyes, now likely devoid of all their previous warmth, made her sick to her stomach.
She had no wish to call a maid and alert the castle that she had awoken, so she quickly decided to get dressed in an comfortable gown she could put on by herself. She then attempted to make her hair look presentable, her red-rimmed eyes staring back at her through the gilded mirror as she did so. She took a moment to gather her courage before she quietly walked towards the door.
She found the same Kingsguard in front of her door as last night. He briefly tensed up at her sudden appearance, before quickly straightening his back. She could see he was prepared to question her – why was she up so early, why did she get dressed without a maid, did she need anything? – but she quickly held up her hand to silence him before he could speak.
"I will be visiting the library today. There is no need to accompany me, I will be fine on my own."
She was glad that she had paid close attention to the lay-out of the Red Keep the last week, or she would never be able to find the library on her own.
"I'm afraid that is not possible, my lady. I have strict orders from the prince to ensure your safety at all times. I will wait for you outside the library, should you need anything."
She cursed internally at his stubbornness. He would surely report her every move to her cursed husband, ruining her plans of solitude for the day. She glared at him angrily until he averted his eyes.
"Alright," she gritted her teeth in annoyance, "Follow me then."
She quickly made her way down the hall, forcing the knight to quicken his step to catch up with her. She had no wish to linger in the hallway any longer than necessary.
The library had quickly become her second favorite place in the Red Keep, after the Godswood. The thought of the gardens only seemed to sour her mood now, however, and she knew the library to be large enough that she would likely not have to see another soul for the rest of the day. She had spend quite some time in there since her arrival, and she had not seen anyone other than her husband, which was only whenever he accompanied her. It was the closest thing to peace she was like to find today.
Though it was still very early in the morning, some lords and ladies already roamed the halls. She did not have the strength to speak to any of them, so whenever they greeted her, she only nodded back and tried her best to smile at them. She knew the heartache was still evident on her face, with dark circles visible under her swollen eyes. She could only hope that they did not look too closely at her as she passed them as quickly as she could.
No matter how much she tried, she could still not wrap her head around Valarr's actions last night. He had seemed so adoring and earnest ever since she met him. His sudden shift made very little sense to her. What had she done wrong, to make him treat her in this manner ?
Tears burned behind her eyes as she finally approached the library. The guard rushed ahead, intent on opening the door for her. She just nodded at him while she stepped inside cautiously, not having the strength to thank him.
The library was larger than any other she had ever seen. She was told that only the library that rivals it was at the Citadel, though she had never seen it for herself. There were rows of dark mahogany bookshelves as far as the eye could see, with matching tables and chairs covering the middle section of the room. Small spiral staircases allowed access to the second floor of the library, though those shelves carried the less popular books. Every once in a while, the rows of bookshelves was interrupted by a small nook where some armchairs and sofas stood surrounding a fireplace.
She had her sights set on a comfortable chair on the second floor, all the way in the back of the library, far away from prying eyes. She quickly climbed the stairs, holding her skirts carefully as she did so. When she arrived there, however, she found her seat was already taken.
A lanky man sat at the table, bent over a thick leather-bound tome. He had long, silver hair that reached the middle of his crooked back, and his beard was much longer than any she had ever seen. She quickly realized the man was her husband's uncle, Prince Aerys. She had never seen him before, but he was known to be extremely bookish, with very little interest in other worldly affairs. It surprised her that she hadn't seen him here before, though she supposed he might have chosen to hide away elsewhere while the wedding preparation and festivities were still ongoing.
She cursed under her breath at the sight of him, which earned her the attention of the rather unkempt prince in front of her.
"Can I help you, dear?" He asked gently, his pale purple eyes studying her carefully. His gaze seemed all-knowing and familiar, as if he knew everything about her, which made a chill run down her spine. She froze at his attentive gaze, and simply shook her head.
"N-No, Your Grace. I did not mean to interrupt. I–"
"No need for the titles, girl. We are family now. You may simply call me Aerys."
She briefly wondered how he knew who she was, before realizing he had likely seen her together with her betrothed at some point. They had been together quite frequently, after all, and Aerys was known to lurk in the shadows, typically ignored by the rest of the court.
"Alright. I shall leave you alone now, Aerys," she said quietly, casting her eyes to the floor. She took a small step back, intend on turning around before he interrupted her again.
"Come here for a second, dear," he said gently. She had not expected the man to sound so kind, going off of the stories she had heard in the hallways. Perhaps she should know better than to believe those stories now. Still, she no longer knew what to believe after how her husband had treated her. Perhaps what the small folk whispered was correct, and all Targaryens are truly mad, one way or another.
Against her better judgment, she followed his instructions. When she stood next to him, he only patted the chair by his side. She reluctantly sat down, folding her hands across her lap nervously.
Both of them remained silent for a few moments as he studied her with his piercing eyes.
"I dreamed of you."
She looked up at him in surprise. The tale of Daenys the Dreamer had been her favorite story growing up, so she was well aware that the blood of the dragon sometimes had prophetic dreams. She wasn't aware that it still occurred to this day, though.
"Me?" She said stupidly.
He just nodded solemnly in response. When she didn't say anything else, he started to look around anxiously before he spoke again, seemingly scared someone might overhear.
"You are meant to turn the tides of fate, my dear. The prince that was promised shall come from your line, I have seen it."
She knitted her brows at his words. What prince was he talking about, and what was promised and to whom? She racked her brain trying to process his words. Did that at least mean she would bear a son one day? She did not know how to feel about that, seeing as her husband seemingly had every intention of preventing that from happening.
She continued to stare at him, hoping he would clarify what he meant, but he just stared back. The paleness of his irises was almost unnerving to look at. When he did not speak any more, she decided it was best that she let him be.
"Thank you, Aerys, for your… words," she said carefully, "I shall leave you to it now."
He nodded in contentment at that, his gaze immediately returning to the book in front of him. When she finally stepped away, he was hunched over his book again, as if she had never been there at all.
Before she had the chance to walk away, she saw a woman approaching them from down the walkway. The lady was short in statue, with soft brown hair up in an intricate updo and a crimson dress adorning her full figure. Her amber eyes narrowed at the strange girl briefly before recognition seemed to pass over her features. She assumed this to be Aerys' wife, the lady Aelinor Penrose.
"My lady, it is a pleasure to finally meet you," the lady said with a small smile on her face. Her gaze seemed cautious as she scanned the girl's figure up and down as she spoke.
Aerys looked up at the sound of his wife's voice, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
"Good morning, Aelinor! I had a dream about my dear niece here last night," He said excitedly, a gratified smile on his face as he did it.
Aelinor's eyes widened at his words, her eyes darting between the girl and her husband for a second before she approached the prince.
"Was it a bad one?" She asked cautiously, her hand landing on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
"No, no, not to worry. For once, it was a good one," he replied, his gaze softening as it moved from his book to his new niece. She did not understand the look he was giving her, but she just smiled back at him regardless. He seemed well-meaning, just a bit… complicated. Perhaps that was another common Targaryen trait, with their dragon blood and all.
Aelinor's calculating gaze briefly fell on her now, though it softened considerably at her husband's words. "Aerys, I thought we might break our fast together. Would you like that?"
Aelinor's face seemed prepared for rejection, which struck her as odd, until she remembered she would also reject her own husband if he asked her now. She wondered if this is how her own marriage is to be as well. The thought made a pit form in her stomach.
"No, no, I have to finish this. Perhaps the answers lay in Asshai after all. I must find out more."
He waved his wife's touch away, burying his nose in the thick book in front of him again. Aelinor just closed her eyes in mild frustration, letting out a small, measured breath. She briefly pinched her nose bridge before opening her eyes again, now turning towards the girl.
"Would you like to break fast with me then, my dear? I shall introduce you to Alys, I think she would very much like to get to know you."
She blinked for a second before nodding quickly, a timid smile spreading across her face. This is exactly what she needed – women who understood her new position and could teach her how to act. If her husband was not going to be her ally, it was essential for her survival at court that she make her own friends.
"I would like that very much, my lady."
"Splendid. And also, there is no need for the titles. We are family now, just call me Aelinor."
She almost let out a chuckle at Aelinor unknowingly repeating her husband's words. They might not have been a love match, but they surely seemed to share one mind.
She approached the older woman excitedly, who walked ahead to lead them to her chambers.
"I hope you enjoyed the feast last night, my dear," Alys said with a suggestive smile on her face.
The three ladies had long since finished their meals, now just sipping their tea in Aelinor's solar. She sat at the head of the long table, the two ladies flanking her sides. The sunlight was streaming in through the large windows now, warming them up slowly.
She missed the warning glare Aelinor send her good-sister, but Alys either did not notice or did not care.
"And the bedding, of course," she wiggled her eyebrows at the younger girl. The girl almost choked on her tea then, making her cough loudly.
"Alys!" Aelinor scolded under her breath, smacking Alys' arm.
"What?" Alys asked, genuinely perplexed. "I know it was no fun for you, but from what I've heard, those two are proper in love. Besides, Valarr is a lovely boy, as you well know. Surely he was kind to her."
She kept coughing slightly in attempt to mask the tears that welled up in her eyes at Alys' words. When she finally recovered, both of the ladies were staring at her expectantly. Even Aelinor could not hide her curiosity.
"I–" She cleared her throat, not sure how to answer. She had no wish to lie to the ladies who had been kind enough to take her in after her husband had cast her out, unbeknownst to them. Not to mention that she was a terrible liar, and truthfully, she wanted nothing more than to get her emotions off her chest and to get somebody else's opinion on the matter.
"We did not…" The words got stuck in her throat, but she could see by the shock on their faces that they understood her meaning nonetheless.
"Really?" Alys said, clearly perplexed. She sat further back in her chair, folding her hands in front of her on the table. "Really? For what reason?"
"But they found blood on his sheets…" Aelinor wondered silently, looking at Alys in question, who had a confused expression on her face as well.
She simply shrugged in response, tears starting slipping down her cheeks now. The two ladies said nothing for a moment, just giving her sympathetic looks. Aelinor, who sat next to her, simply put a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I do not know," she pushed out, "He would not give me a reason. He simply said it was for the best. I am quite sure he plans to cast me aside."
She did not dare to look at Aelinor as she said it, though she could see her tense up in the corner of her eye.
"Nonsense!" Alys said cheerfully, trying to ease the tension, "The way he looks at you, I cannot imagine him ever not wanting you by his side."
"Then what is wrong with me?" She whispered, her voice cracking.
Aelinor took a deep breath next to her, leaning forward in her chair.
"I wondered that myself for many years. I thought he perhaps had a mistress he loved more, or that he was… not interested in women at all. But eventually, I realized that the fault did not lay with me. I did my best to be a dutiful wife, but he did not reciprocate, so that is where it ended. I tried to be his friend instead, his confidante, and I still am. That was enough for me. It had to be."
Aelinor looked at her for a reaction, but when she did not give on, she let out a sigh before continuing.
"But Valarr is not like Aerys. Aerys has never looked at me the way Valarr looks at you. Perhaps he felt too much pressure last night, and simply wishes to do it at another time. He is the heir's heir, and that comes with a heavy burden and and a lot of expectations. Maybe he is simply not ready, and wishes to get more comfortable with you before you do… your duty."
She just looked at Aelinor, tears still in her eyes. "How do I know if it isn't something I have done, if he will not give me a reason?"
Both women let out a sigh at that, all too familiar with men and how they act.
"Men all have their flaws, my dear," Alys replied, waving her hands around as if to dismiss her worries from the air, "Particularly when it comes to their emotions. This is his failing, not yours."
She just nodded at that, her tears slowly drying on her cheeks. Perhaps there was some truth to what they said. She could not pinpoint anything she had done wrong, and even if she had, it was Valarr's responsibility to tell her what it was.
She was far from ready to forgive him, that much was clear, but she would not continue to avoid him. This is his problem to solve now. In the meantime, she would try and find her own joy and purpose in her new royal life.
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Summary: Prince Valarr and his new princess have their first disagreement after the feast.
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: arguing, misunderstandings and angst (sawry)
A/N: aaaand I'm finally back! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what you think! I already have a couple more chapters written, so I will be trying to stick to a consistent release schedule.
Cross-posted on AO3 (registered users only).
Soft silver moonlight poured over their figures as her new husband led her down the hallways of Maegor's Holdfast. His gentle hold on her hand had not seized since their departure from the Great Hall. The thought of his tender protectiveness, both at the feast and in that moment, made her stomach flutter.
She had never been on the upper levels of Maegor's Holdfast before, as those chambers were reserved for the royal family. I suppose that includes me now, she remembered suddenly. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Truthfully, she didn't have the faintest clue what it meant to be a princess. Nobody had thought to explain her new royal duties to her. Her wifely duties had been taught to her from a young age, of course, but nobody had ever expected her to rise in station in this manner.
Nor had she met any adult princesses who might be able to teach her how to bear this burden as of yet. Both King Daeron and Prince Baelor had been widowers for a long time, therefore leaving the realm without a queen for many years to come. She knew two of Valarr's uncles still roamed the castle, and that they were both wed, but she had not yet met either of them. Their carefully hidden absence at both the wedding and the feast had not escaped her notice, though she had not dared to ask Valarr for the reason. Servants and nobles alike often whispered harsh words about both of the princes in the halls, so she knew better than to address such a sensitive topic on a night like tonight.
She was pulled from her thoughts when Valarr stopped in front of the doors to his bedchambers. He had a timid smile on his face, though it did not seem to reach his eyes. She briefly wondered why, before realizing he must be nervous as well. He had admitted as much to her, though she had presumed that had more to do with the prospect of the marriage as a whole, and not necessarily the bedding. Perhaps he was inexperienced as well, though surely he knew more than her about their marital duties. She still had no clue about what exactly it was that was awaiting her in his bedchambers. She understood it was not likely to be a pleasant experience, going off of her sisters' overly vague stories, but she doubted Valarr would ever be cruel to her. Whatever was going to happen, he would surely do it with as much kindness and compassion as possible.
He briefly glanced at her face, his expression unreadable, before he opened the doors. He gestured with his hand for her to enter before him, and she walked in with awe clear on her face.
Where her old chambers had been filled with her house colors, these were covered in her own favorite color instead. Tapestries filled the walls here as well, though these were less in the Targaryen style and more in the style of her own home. They had entered into the solar first, though she could see the bedroom through a large door to her right. A large fireplace, already lit, bathed the the comfortable-looking sofa and chairs in front of it in soft yellow light. Bookcases that nearly reached the ceiling stood on the opposite side of the room, as well as a large desk that was already decorated with the keepsakes she had brought with her from home. To her left she saw a peek of the bath and dressing room. She took a couple steps to see into the bedroom, where a large canopied bed stood against the opposite side of the room. Valarr followed closely behind her, a soft smile on his face at her wonder. A sizeable vanity stood near the large windows on the other side of the room, and the mirror above it softly reflected the moonlight, bathing the room in silver light.
"These chambers used to be my late mother's. I took the liberty to fill the shelves with some books I thought you might enjoy. I also asked your father to bring some of his own tapestries, to make you feel at home. I hope you like it."
She took a moment to take in the sight before her, and what it meant. It was stunning, and a tender act of love that she did not feel she deserved. And yet, were they not supposed to go to his chambers on this night? Why was he showing her this now?
"T-thank you. It's absolutely perfect," she stuttered out. She quickly turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He seemed shocked by it at first, but he recovered quickly, wrapping his strong arms around her waist, keeping her close.
"You're very welcome, my love," he murmured into her hair.
Her face was buried into his chest now, and she never wanted him to let her go. He smelled of everything she loved: the smell of fresh ink on paper, old books, a lit fireplace, the gardens in the spring. She did not think she could ever get enough of it. She closed her eyes as she took his presence in.
All too quickly, however, he gently untangled his arms from her. He took a careful step back, his warm gaze returning to the unreadable expression from earlier. He quickly cleared his throat, his eyes avoided her gaze. He took a couple steps out of the bedroom, to her confusion, and towards the exit of her chambers.
"Well, I shall leave you here. My chambers are just across the hall, and one of the Kingsguards shall guard your rooms at all times. Should you need anything, you need only ask them. Have a good night, my love."
It took her a second to process his words, not understanding them in the least. He had already turned his back on her and approached the door before she found the words to respond, quickly following after him.
"W-what? I-, I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. So you shall spend the night in your own chambers?"
He reluctantly turned back to her, and she could see on his face that he had hoped, in vain, that she would not argue with him.
"Yes," he simply replied. His tone was painfully neutral, lacking all the warmth he had shown her before.
"It is our wedding night. Are we not meant to spend this night together?" She asked, her face clearly showing how puzzled she was by his sudden change in behavior. "My septa said that is what happens on a wedding night."
"Gevie, please, it is late. I think we should both get some sleep."
Dread was starting to pool in her stomach. Did he no longer want her? Perhaps he was starting to regret his decision to marry her. While she did not know exactly what was supposed to happen during the bedding, she knew one was not truly married if it had not been performed. She was suddenly reminded of a rumor she had heard around the Keep this last week. Valarr's uncle, Prince Aerys, had supposedly never consummated his marriage with his wife, the lady Aelinor Penrose. This failure to perform their duty would allow him to cast her aside one day, if he had cause to do so. Tears formed in her eyes at the thought. Is that what he intended to do with her? Wait until the excitement of the wedding had calmed down, only to then cast her aside?
"No, Valarr. We are supposed… We are married. Are we not supposed to do what married people do?" She could hear the desperation in her own voice as she felt a tear slip down her cheek. Gods, she had never wished to know what the bedding entailed as much as now.
Valarr clenched his jaw at her words. His stance had turned rigid and his expression was still unreadable. He had never once seemed eager to leave her presence until now.
"Have I done something wrong?" Her voice cracked, but she could not get herself to care. "If I have, please, please tell me. Whatever it is, I am truly sorry."
Those words made his nonchalant facade crack. She could see the hurt in his eyes, before he cast his eyes to the floor as he quietly spoke.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. I just… I…"
"Then what is it?" She bowed her head in an attempt to make him meet her gaze. "Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?"
He clenched his jaw again, and he finally met her eyes, though he seemed almost angry now.
"Are you demanding I perform my marital duty to you?" He said harshly.
"What? No!" She replied quickly, another tear falling down her face as she took a step towards him in desperation. He did not let her approach, however, and quickly took another step back. "I-I am not demanding anything. I just…" She was truly lost for words now, and he took that as his opportunity to turn his back on her again, his face a blank canvas.
"I am truly sorry if I have hurt your feelings, but I promise you that this is for the best. I do not wish to hurt you further. We shall speak of this another time. Have a good night."
He took another step towards the door. Her anguish turned to exasperation now, and she quickly walked towards him, not allowing him to reach the door. She stood in his way, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"Valarr… Is this how our marriage is to be? Both of us living in separate chambers, never…"
Doing our duty, like your uncle Aerys, she thought, though she did not say it.
He took a deep breath, his mismatched eyes gazing at her tear-stained face with a painful expression on his face. His eyes had become damp as well, eyebrows knit as he looked at the pain he had caused his beloved.
"For now, yes," he said gently.
"Why?" She whispered, her gaze pleading. She did not wish anything of him except to understand. Why is this what he wanted, and why did he claim it was 'for the best'? She had felt out of her depth her entire time at court, but this was the thing that had confused her the most. Is this truly how their married life was going to start?
"I thought it… it would be easier." He muttered, anguish visible on his face now.
"For whom?" She quickly resorted. It would certainly not make her life at court easier, she knew that much. Nothing could hurt the precious Young Prince's reputation, of course, but she did not wish to end up as all the other ladies who had been easily disregarded by their husbands. Nobody would ever respect or forgive her if she failed at her duties in this manner. Even the eternal scorn she would have faced, had she actually successfully fled the Red Keep would have likely been better.
"What?" He said, confused.
"Easier for whom? You or me?"
The annoyance became visible on his face again, and he turned his face away from her.
"I will not be debating this with you tonight," he said, his tone final.
"This is not a debate, Valarr, I merely want to understand. You need to tell me–" She replied, exasperation evident in her voice.
"I do not need to do anything. I have decided! I am your prince!" He suddenly shouted out, his face turning red in anger.
She had never heard him raise his voice to anybody, let alone her. It immediately silenced her. She looked at him in disbelief, before she quickly managed to put a guarded look on her face. She took several steps back, folding her hands in front of her, as if to shield herself from his hurtful words.
It was evident that he immediately regretted his words, but she no longer cared. He put his hands up as if in surrender, trying to take a step towards her. This time, she was the one to take a step back from him. She put one hand up, a gesture for him to remain silent.
"My mistake. I thought you were 'just Valarr'. Pray forgive me, Your Grace."
His face crumbled at her cold words, a silent tear streaming down his face.
"Gevie–."
"I think it is best you retire to your bedchambers now, Your Grace, as you said."
He attempted to step towards her again, but she continued the cruel dance, stepping further back. His eyes begged for her to stop, but her face had gone carefully blank, her stare distant.
"My love… I promise you, this is what is best for both of us."
"Of course, Your Grace. Whatever you wish," She turned her back to him as she said, "Now, I kindly ask you to leave my chambers."
Her voice and eyes had lost all of its warmth. Where she had once thought him to be different from all of her previous suitors, he had quickly proven that his kindness was nothing more than a pretense to trick her into marrying him. For what purpose, if he did not intend to bed her, she did not know yet, but she supposed she never truly knew him at all.
Valarr seemed lost for words. He looked at her for a while, realizing she was being sincere. She no longer wanted him near her, as she always had before. He swallowed the lump in his throat before abruptly turning away from her, towards the door.
He did not look back before he softly closed the door behind him, but he did not have the courage to move from his spot for quite a while, either. He could feel the inquisitive gaze of Ser Roland Crakehall as he stood there, but he did not care to explain himself to the knight. When he suddenly heard her quiet cries come through the solid wooden door, however, he made haste across the hall and quickly entered his own chambers.
Gods, he was such an fool. He had only ever wanted to make sure she was safe, that she would never feel any pain, and yet he had been the only one to cause it. He hadn't expected her to react so strongly, as he would expect most women to be relieved that they were spared a bedding. Instead, his beloved had only seen it as an insult.
He had let his anger, his fears and his own insecurities get the best of him, and now he had hurt the very person he was meant to protect from harm.
He had watched his own mother perish in the birthing bed, and he had no intention of inflicting that on his love. He knew it was inevitable for him to eventually need heirs, but he could not bear to put her at risk. Not when he just got her. He wished to enjoy her presence for many more years to come. Now, he might have lost her now regardless, just in a different way.
He had believed she would understand that risk and the fear that came with pregnancy, but it seemed to him she hadn't considered it in that way. Perhaps she thought it was her duty and she did not believe she had a choice in the matter, simply facing her fate with her head held high. Well, he did have a choice, and he was not going to lose her.
He only wished he had not hurt her in the process. He had yelled at his wife, something he swore he would never do. If he had failed to be a good husband after less than a day, what does that say of his prospects as king? How could he be a just ruler if he could not even do right by his own wife? A true dragon for the first time, he mused to himself bitterly, burning down everything in its path.
In an attempt to distract himself, Valarr decided to busy himself with making his bed seem like it had witnessed a true bedding. He cut his own arm to bloody his sheets, watching the crimson stains spread out on the sheets. The blade hurt much less than seeing the heartbroken look on his beloved's face, he thought bitterly.
That night, the newlyweds both cried themselves to sleep, each wanting nothing more than to be by the other's side.
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