Awkward with Men @awkwardwithmen - Tumblr Blog

soundsnaked

Source: @eleanorbandey

mydododied-deactivated20200613

Down in the woods…

nevver

Over down under, Martine Perret

🐙☂️🔮💜⚛️🍇🦑👿

pbrbateson

I miss you quite a bit this time of year. when the air gets cooler and light hits everything a little more sideways than direct. I wear the sweater I met you in the second time, the boots you said looked nice. why did you even matter?

I think because you made me forget. I hated you because you wanted to escape yourself and take me with you. But the truth is i wanted to escape my own self just as much - so I lost myself in you. In your clouds of smoke and cans of of booze and beliefs and pipe dreams all the way until 3am on new years eve. And at 6am in the morning when your alarm would go off. I would climb out of the bunk into the cold air at the bottom, cans of Coke and Pabst and ashes everywhere on the table from the night before. Half eaten candy bars you kept around for me to eat before bed because you knew that’s what I did. Rotting teeth, rotting souls talking about the weather and things that we knew would never happen. One night I asked you while rubbing your back as you vomited into a trash can “who hurt you?” and you screamed “I dont want to talk about that right now”. I could barely sleep next to you for a week - but I didn’t ask anymore because I already knew. The answers fell into place and I could not save you anymore.

We move around the lies in our life sometimes - thinking we can hack the thing we think we want. When really we just need to end it and move foreword with anything that might make sense. Or maybe thats the way its suppose to be - nothing makes as much sense as loving someone in the moment its happening. The loss never really get easier; it just gets farther away. Go all around the world and still miss everything that happened while it happened. Every I love you and hug and dance. Every drink and every goodnight. I cannot not think of a greater teacher than my heart to this day. And I have learned nothing if not how to say goodbye.

wuschwusch

The second episode, the real finale, was almost non-stop tears for me. Donna’s Women in Tech speech, Haley listening to her father’s relaxation tape and the closing Peter Gabriel-driven end to Joe’s story, returning to his first lines from the pilot, all intermingled happiness and sadness for the characters and made me a wreck. The best/worst part was, of course, Donna and Cameron’s initial imagined trip through the journey of Phoenix and then “I have an idea.” Could the episode have ended with “I have an idea” and not with Joe in the classroom and “Let me start by asking a question”? Yes, but I admire symmetry and I get why creators Chris Cantwell and Chris Rogers wanted to go full-circle with the pilot. Donna and Cameron together is the proper ending to the series that Halt and Catch Fire became, but Joe in the classroom is the ending to the series it started out to be and I think both shows were honored. There are so many superlatives I feel like I need to give, because Emmy voters will not. No matter how packed the lead actress in a drama category is, Davis and Bishe both deserve places in the Emmy field next year. Your rewatch of the pilot will remind you that even in subtle ways, Bishe’s Donna was always a powerhouse and I loved that the finale had Donna fixing Bos’ radio and trying to fix Haley’s hard drive, callbacks to the Speak and Spell in the pilot. Speaking of Bos, you could easily give Toby Huss an Emmy nod for his layered evolution of Bosworth from season one adversary to everybody’s ultimate father/uncle figure. And speaking of Haley, Susanna Skaggs’ joining for this final season may go down as one of the great late-run casting additions ever. Teenage awkwardness and yearning have rarely been captured with so much ungainly authenticity and I can’t wait to see what Skaggs does next.

Daniel Fienberg (via wuschwusch)