Starman - @jeggyverses-jegulus-microfic - Word count: 865
Regulus’s perception of romantic relationships and especially those formed in one’s teenage years can be very clearly divided in before James Potter and after James Potter.
Before James came into his life Regulus would have confidently told you that he saw no point in high school romance. He would have told you that there is no logic in investing time dating someone you can’t see yourself having a future with- people his age don’t think about the future like that. He genuinely couldn’t understand why people did it.
After years of distance forced on them by their parents he’d reconnected with his brother. It wasn’t easy, especially in the beginning when he and Sirius would fight more often than they talked. Both of them being the stubborn little shits that they are, however, continued to work on their relationship and have managed to reach a point where they are semi-functional as brothers.
Sirius’s new-found presence in his life meant, inevitably but to no one’s surprise, that James also became a fixture in his day to day. In the beginning Regulus just found the boy annoying but then he’d actually gotten to know him. He’d learned that he is kind, loyal to a fault, that he cares about little creatures and insects, that he used to sleep with his childhood teddy until fourth year because it made him feel closer to home. That he learned to cook because it made his mother happy, that he’d learned a bit of Welsh to make Remus feel more welcomed and researched phycology and mental health for Sirius’s sake. He got to know the James most of the student body didn’t see, with his insecurities and imperfections but so much love in his heart and light in his eyes to power the entire school, and to Regulus’s immense surprise but just as inevitably, he’d fallen for him. Hard.
There wasn’t a single moment of realisation rather than a truth he slowly became aware of until it could no longer be ignored. And once that knowledge settled in he started to understand every aspect of romance he once considered nonsensical.
The wanting to be around the person all the time and missing them the moment they go even after hours spent together. The need to touch them - not even in a sexual way - but just craving that proximity, the holding of hands, the bump against the shoulder after an inside joke. The stomach butterflies even. The yearning.
Now, leaning against a wall in the Gryffindor common room during a party his brother had invited him to, with a paper cup in his hand feigning boredom he struggles to listen to a single word his friends are saying. His mind is entirely too focused on James. James who is standing only a few metres away from where he is, alone for some inexplicable reason. James who lights up the moment the song on the record player changes and he recognises the tune. James who starts singing the lyrics to Bowie’s Starman under his breath.
Regulus’s own breath catches at the soft sounds and his mind rallies until he is seeing a different scene entirely. The party around him continues to buzz with energy but in Regulus’s mind he is alone in the kitchen of his future home that in this fantasy is James’s as well. They’ve just finished dinner and Starman is playing somewhere in the background. There are dirty pots in the sink but Regulus couldn’t care less. James is singing to him softly with a warm smile while drawing circles on the back of Regulus’s hand. Regulus’s is looking at him and feeling entirely relaxed as if this is something they do often enough to have become routine. He wouldn’t want to change a thing.
A loud laugh from somewhere in the room startles him back to reality and he blinks to see James staring right at him as he continues to sing with a look Regulus can’t quite read on his face. Regulus can feel his heart exploding and then promptly trying to claw its way out of his chest and into James’s as if it has always belonged there.
As overwhelming as the feeling is, he relishes on the rush it gives him. Maybe he should feel embarrassed about his reaction or at least about how stupid he used to sound but he can’t find it in himself to.
Regulus isn’t stupid, he knows James doesn’t like him like that but he is but a boy in love. As things stand Regulus is quite content to stand at the side and think about the future they could have if only things were a little bit different. How ignorant he was, believing teens didn’t dream about what they wanted from their lives. Can you blame him though? As a Black the future had always been a daunting topic for him stifled by responsibilities and expectations. Turns out, forever is not as terrifying a word when it includes one James Potter.
So yes, there is a before and an after James wiggled his way into Regulus’s life and, even though he’d rather die than admit it aloud to anyone, Regulus much prefers the latter.
I only recently started writing and English isn’t my first language so any advice on structure and continuity would be appreciated <3
