Sade Olutola

JBB: An Artblog!
Game of Thrones Daily

if i look back, i am lost

Janaina Medeiros
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oozey mess
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
macklin celebrini has autism
Not today Justin
Cosimo Galluzzi

Discoholic 🪩
todays bird

tannertan36
styofa doing anything
we're not kids anymore.
Claire Keane
Sweet Seals For You, Always
d e v o n
NASA

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@awwfullybigadventure
"Caribou Attacked by Wolverine on a Fire-Screen"
Lives of Game Animals, Volume 3. 1927. Written and illustrated by Ernest Thompson Seton.
Internet Archive
have been on a stroll with Rendezvous
and stopped to buy her pastry with lingonberries as a little treat, and goood damn this new screen with customers names with app. pfps is hilarious
like - oh I am too lazy to change this default puffy lips orange as the pre-installed pfp inside this app - and so what nobody will see it anyway and... There it Is.
не, ну самое время, а чего нет то
HOW do you tell if people are trustworthy
They usually patient. They don't push you to trust them immediately, understanding it's a not easy and it's intimate process and they understand that everyone is not for everyone and trust might not be earned at all and that's ok.
Consistency in the way they treat others and stick to their beliefs and promises: If they change their mind every single day and talk shit out of nowhere about people they were gushing about yesterday, or if they break promises easily like it's not a big deal, it's a red flag.
Be VERY careful with people who seem to not be able to get along with other people on a constant basis / keep relationships for long and constantly vent about how everyone is a traitor in their life. I mean, don't go for victim-blaming, of course, everyone has different life experiences, and sometimes these persons are on the right, but I had awful expirience with a few such persons. And every time when they ditch me, I finally get my eyes open about how and why they have such serious problems. And no, it was not because everyone around them is a sudden traitor. Be careful, really. No 'i will fix these poor souls' no, just NO.
They do not lash out verbally or physically when angry but also don’t pretend they aren’t. They address it in polite talk, and they understand it's not them vs you it's you and them vs problem/issue. It's also good that you would act that way too, if there is problem, you talk about it with your friend in a way that it's you and them against the issue and you both will win, it's not a fight between friends it's friends fighting against the problem because their friendship is worth it.
Willingness to admit when they're wrong. Ability to take responsibility for their words and actions. No "you provoke me to do it to you' and no 'the wrong stars affect me today' and no 'my head was aching i don't even remember what I did/say'. Even worse if they try to manipulate or weaponize their diagnosis to make YOU feel bad for their offensive words or actions, like 'I have depression and you know it so quit your pretensions about me being rude. I have a pass of doing anything to you in this state' don't buy it and leave immediately. If it happens, it's toxic and not right. No excuses.
Seriously just reread the #5 because it's super important. It's already hard being betrayed and abandoned by friends but seeing this friend has the audacity to think they did nothing wrong (or very little wrong) and mostly they think it's your fault for suddenly getting sick/suddenly needing help/expecting them to be true to their promises/expecting them to treat you like a human being and not like a scholar bully treats their victim/expecting them to be a decent person at the very least... - then.. well, believe me, witnessing this crushes on a very different level - WAY harder than even betrayal itself before it.
Be very careful and cautious how people perceive your own kindness and willingness to forgive, it's often used against you, sadly.
Try to be attentive to your own feelings - if you feel like you always have to walk on eggshells, and it's you who always have to apologize for their emotions and actions, it's a red flag. Yes, it may happen in healthy relationships too (I mean feeling threatened even if there's no real threat), as it ties to insecurities and past traumas, but often it's because you engaged with toxic person who will ditch you right after your wrong step in a wrong direction, and it needs to be spotted and stopped before it goes too far.
Look closely at the pattern behavior. How they react and hold themselves in the situations. Do they rush to help others. Do they expect others to help them while they never do this to others themselves. Do they have this set of mind that it's always others to blame for their wrongs. Do they punish others but not admitting it. Do they ghost or withhold others. How ofthen they lash out. Are they able to apologize. How they act when there is some tension or issue. Is there always something they are hiding. Do they let others to help them. How much of their life is going only around themselves while other people are just NPCs for bringing them dopamine with their first demand. There is not much to say, actually; just observe thoughtfully and carefully. All people are different and everyone is unique but pattern behavior of ones who more likely to stab you in your back in your vulnerable hour is pretty much similar - Try to talk to others who had this experience; it might be surprising in all senses.
Might be too much for such advice, but if you're dealing with serious insecurities / have (C)-PTSD / have experience with codependent / toxic / abusive relationships more than once, it's VERY likely you won't be able to set healthy boundaries / recognize red flags in a new relationship, so it's better to consider seeking professional help first. I do it myself, really; I am getting help. Once again I am sorry if this advice is something that might be too much, as we are just two strangers on the internet
Stratt: I'm kidnapping you. Now I'm forcing you in a room alone with an alien organism to see if it kills you. Now I'm kidnapping you again. Now I'm putting a convicted felon in charge of paving the Sahara desert. Now I'm kidnapping this scientist who hates you and forcing you to be coworkers. Now I'm kidnapping a passionate climatologist. Now I’m forcing him to nuke Antarctica. Now I'm pirating every single thing ever made. Now I’m threatening a judge with the United States army.
Grace: Okay, cool.
Stratt: Now I'm kidnapping you a third time.
Grace:
It's kind of a tough room, so don't take it personally.
bonus:
I think some of the loneliness of autism is that you feel like you hurt people just by Interacting Wrong, but you don’t know how to Interact Right, and the more effort you put into it, the more exhausted you are and the more artificial it comes across (with the end result of people still being upset with you). and it’s not anyone’s fault for not liking Being Interacted With Wrong, and it’s not your fault for doing it so wrong, but it is very, very lonely.
anyway, every single book I write ever is going to secretly be about autism
HEY ARTISTS!
Do you design a lot of characters living in not-modern eras and you’re tired of combing through google for the perfect outfit references? Well I got good news for you kiddo, this website has you covered! Originally @modmad made a post about it, but her link stopped working and I managed to fix it, so here’s a new post. Basically, this is a costume rental website for plays and stage shows and what not, they have outfits for several different decades from medieval to the 1980s. LOOK AT THIS SELECTION:
OPEN ANY CATEGORY AND OH LORDY–
There’s a lot of really specific stuff in here, I design a lot of 1930s characters for my ask blog and with more chapters on the way for the game it belongs to I’m gonna be designing more, and this website is going to be an invaluable reference. I hope this can be useful to my other fellow artists as well! :)
Watership Down (1978) dir. Martin Rosen
when people don't consider you in the same way you consider them, let them go. there are actually so many people in the world that can match your energy and love you the way you love.
How can anyone kind and empathetic not feel empathy for people who had it hard all their lives, who the universe seems to be always plotting against, as it always seems to treat them harshly and unfairly, very sensitive people who fear abandonment and often appear lonely, confused about themselves and their self-worth, self-conscious and insecure, and in need for support, a lot of support, who could do with some praising to raise their spirits?
Unless we’re slightly horrible people, it’s hard not to empathise with someone like this. Yet, who we’re empathising with is quite possibly a narcissist. A so-called “vulnerable narcissist” to be specific.
The biggest strength and most powerful tool of the vulnerable narcissist is precisely the vulnerability they portray.
This is a type of narcissism we don’t talk about often, yet one which is as toxic as any other.
Awareness concerning vulnerable narcissism should be raised: both to allow those around them to protect themselves and to let vulnerable narcissists know that help is available (unlike other cluster B personalities, those with narcissistic personality disorder do suffer as a direct result of how their disorder makes them interact with the world and with themselves).
This is a good start: https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901
How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist: A Personal Guide
Navigating relationships with narcissists can feel like walking through a field of landmines. They can be charming one minute and emotionally exhausting the next. But one thing is for sure: setting boundaries is essential if you want to protect your peace.
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, constantly craves admiration, and doesn’t have the emotional capacity to empathize with others. While they may appear confident and powerful, their emotional world is often fragile, leading them to manipulate, control, and exploit others for their validation.
A weird strategy of people who support abusers is to point out (actual or made-up) mistakes the victim made. As if the victim making mistakes (or the abuser claiming the victim made mistakes) made the abuse somehow less bad/ the victim's fault/ irrelevant.
Top 7 Covert Narcissist Discard Signs: Recognize the Red Flags
Dealing with a covert narcissist can be confusing, especially when they go through the discard phase. They often disguise their manipulation with passive-aggressive behavior and subtle emotional withdrawal. As someone who has experienced this firsthand, I know how difficult it can be to understand what’s really happening. But trust me, recognizing the signs of a covert narcissist’s discard phase is essential to protecting yourself.
Fragile Narcissism: The Abuse You Don't See Coming
Most people think narcissism looks loud - the grandstanding, the ego, the spotlight addiction. But some narcissists don't roar. Some whisper. Some cry. Some crumble. And those are the ones who can do the deepest damage, because you don't realize what's happening until you're already tangled in their web.
These are the vulnerable or covert narcissists - the ones who hide their entitlement behind insecurity, their manipulation behind victimhood, and their control behind "sensitivity".
And if you've ever loved one, you know exactly how exhausting this is.
The fragile narcissist isn't actually fragile - their ego is.
A vulnerable narcissist presents like someone who's been hurt by the world. They're misunderstood. Overlooked. Underappreciated. They'll tell you how everyone has wronged them, how no one sees their goodness, how they're always the victim of someone else's cruelty.
But here's the twist: their "fragility" is a shield.
It protects them from accountability. It keeps you from tiptoeing. It keeps the spotlight on their wounds instead of their behavior.
Their ego is so delicate that any boundary, any disagreement, any moment where you don't center them becomes an attack.
Their manipulation is quiet, but it's constant. Covert narcissists don't usually explode. They implode - and then make you responsible for cleaning up the emotional fallout. Their tactics are subtle:
guilt disguised as vulnerability
self-put used as a leash
"poor me" narratives that keep you feeling responsible
silent treatment instead of open communication
passive-aggressive digs wrapped in softness
emotional withdrawal as punishment
You end up managing their feelings, their reactions, their insecurities - while yours go completely ignored.
They weaponize their wounds. Everyone has wounds, but a fragile narcissist uses theirs as currency. They'll say things like:
"I can't believe you'd say that to me after everything I've been through" "You know how sensitive I am." "You're abandoning me just like everyone else."
Suddenly, you're the villain in a story they wrote to avoid accountability.
Their pain becomes the reason they don't have to change. Your empathy becomes the reason you stay.
You start shrinking without realizing it. When you love a covert narcissist, you learn to:
soften your tone
swallow your needs
avoid conflict
apologize for things you didn't do
walk on eggshells
over-explain yourself
take responsibility for their emotions
You become the emotional shock absorber for someone who refuses to regulate themselves. And the worst part? They convince you that you're the one who's "too much".
The cycle is quiet, but it's still abuse.
Just because it doesn't look explosive doesn't mean it's harmless. Covert narcissistic abuse is draining, confusing, destabilizing. It's invalidating and isolating. It's the kind of harm that makes you question your reality, your worth, your sanity - all while believing you're helping someone who's "just struggling".
Healing starts with naming what happened. Once you see the pattern, you can't unsee it. You realize their insecurity wasn't an excuse for their behavior. Their pain didn't justify the harm they caused. Their fragility wasn't your responsibility to manage, and their victimhood was a mask, not a truth. And most importantly, you were not wrong for wanting love, clarity, or reciprocity.
You're allowed to walk away from someone who refuses to grow. A fragile narcissist will often stay fragile forever - because their entire identity depends on it. Growth requires accountability, and accountability threatens the story they've built.
You can love someone and still refuse to be their emotional caretaker. You can have compassion without sacrificing yourself. You can walk away without being cruel.
Protecting your peace is not abandonment.
It's self-respect.