cashmere cat

SMS | dickhead

Tanner: yea but wtf would u do without me

Axel: live a happy nuisance free life

SMS | dickhead

Tanner: love you

Axel: you're the biggest nuisance ik

#( ember ★ )#smd #it wasn't even me #she coerced me

→ text to ❛ember❜

ember: .............................

ember: don't shove it too far up your ass or you won't have room for the strap-on

axel: tanner is being an ass

axel: and i'm tired

axel: and i need food

SMS | dickhead

Tanner: screenshot

Axel: [img attachment]

Axel: now fuck off

SMS | dickhead

Tanner: why do you always let me down

Tanner: fuckin do it

Tanner: DO it

Axel: chill i did it

→ text to ❛ember❜

axel: i'm fingering myself

axel: with a buttplug

axel: thinking of you

SMS | dickhead

Tanner: text ember that you're fingering yourself

Tanner: i dare you

Tanner: and include you're doin it with a butt plug

Tanner: and that you're thinking of her while youre doin it

Axel: what the fuck is wrong with you?

Axel, you don’t understand the pain. Morning sickness is a real thing. Every day. I ruin our bathroom a lot, I’m just really good at cleaning it up.

You can’t have back pain when you don’t even have a bump.

So, is it too early to say, “My back is thrown out, and my feet feel like they’re a volcano about to erupt,” or no? ‘Cause I want to use all the excuses I possibly can as early as I can.

Are you kidding me, Em? You barely have a baby bump. You can’t start pulling that shit on me just yet.

#( axel )#axel on his bday probs #harry looks so suave #im gonna throw up

harrystylesdaily

Out in LA -1/30/2015

→ text to ❛all contacts❜

Axel: You should probably say happy birthday to me now.

Axel: It's my birthday.

#what a little shit

→ text to ❛harry❜

Harry: A bit. It's alright, just school. But I'll get to fly in helicopters.

Harry: Don't even start, pls.

Harry: Laaaaaame. I haven't talked to him in awhile. Might Skype him or something. Don't wanna be a third wheel in his miami vacation.

Harry: Shut up, it's too soon for jokes :/

Axel: What the fuck? You sure they're letting /you/ fly the helicopters, or are you just flying /in/ them?

Axel: *hand emoji*

Axel: He'll probably handcuff you to some street walkers, so it's probably not a good idea.

Axel: Sry :/ RIP Hamlet.

Axel: Btw, happy birthday, punk. Get your arse home soon.

#( harry ! )

→ text to ❛perrie❜

Perrie: Well...there's a lie right there.

Axel: Excuse me, that was not a lie.

Axel: Ask your sister, I never lied.

#( perrie ! )

This isn’t my birthday, dumbass. You pick, you pick wherever you want. I’ll take care of the rest. I don’t care how lame or nerdy it is, we’ll still go. Alright? Got any ideas, babe?

You're so awful, I'm really not that bothered. But there is this restaurant called Australasia that I've been wanting to try for ages. It's like Asian food, sushi and stuff.

Full of the best shit. Well if I told you, what would be the point of a surprise? It’s processing at the moment, but go ahead and pick a restaurant for me, would you?

At least we know that it's all quality. It better be something good. We should go to somewhere in Manchester, keeping it classy and all. I really don't care though, you pick. You're paying, so it's only fair.