[killi3]

[manyhugsandkisses]

[iforgive]

[stoicmike]

One day you realize that the thing you are using to kill the pain is actually causing the pain. -- Michael Lipsey

[axisexp]

the amount of lack and abandonment thats been festering in my heart feels like its gonna kill me one day. its so hard not to go back to isolation. so hard not to run.

[axisexp]

there are times when i feel too young for all the shit im going through. i need a hug but they make me feel suffocated. i need to be seen but im always hiding. even from myself.

[axisexp]

if i let my heart break now, i’ll be over it faster.

[axisexp]

my heart is so heavy and lonely today but yk what? it’ll be alright again eventually.

[axisexp]

i just want someone to care about me enough to notice and actually do something to help me when im working too hard.

someone to ask how im holding up mentally after i lost 4 family members, my best friend got sexually assaulted and someone tried to kill my brother in front of our fathers home in 4 months.

someone to wait for me when i get off work so we can take the trolley together, instead of hopping in a ride because they got their weed and wanna go home.

someone who wont be offended that im at capacity and instead take some initiative.

i dont wanna keep feeling used.

[axisexp]

there’s so much of me that has been lost and no one sees it past them not getting the version of me they preferred anymore. now i am the problem, the evil, the mean, the angry, the callus. but im really not. im just unseen. and maybe i need to stop waiting to find out if i ever will be because i have never to begin with.

[axisexp]

where to put all this, heavy, ugly, down?

[axisexp]

im afraid im becoming my father in the one n only way i never wanted to be

[axisexp]

tired

[axisexp]

im so fuckibg exhausted of this same ass cycle bro

[jjcinnajj]

[automakta]

[axisexp]

i miss what we were before time did its dirty work