I'm so sorry this took so long and is such a short chapter. It's been rough with starting this new job (which I love). That and my grandfather passed away almost four weeks ago and I'm still mourning and trying to regroup. Hopefully, I can get this story back on track soon. Thank you so much for still being here and supporting me.
  Yoongi hates the heat, hates it every year summer finally rolls around. Groaning, she drags herself out of bed. Jaebeomâs already gone, already awake. She smells cinnamon from downstairs. Someoneâs making breakfast, awesome. She stumbles over to the door, not bothering to change out of her bralette and a pair of Jaebeomâs boxers, her usual pajamas. Itâs too hot to put on actual clothes. If she did, sheâd probably melt. She snatches up a hair-tie from the dresser.
  When she makes it to the kitchen, hair off her neck and back in a messy bun, she discovers Kiseokâs making cinnamon pancakes while Hyukwoo and Sunghwa play cards at the table.. That makes her smile, though she doesnât look at him. She hasnât been able to look Kiseok in the eye after Jaebeom killed that runner. She hates it, hates that sheâs taking Kiseokâs words to heart. Jaebeomâs good to her, heâs always-
  âWhat are you wearing?â
  Yoongi jumps in surprise, though sheâs smiling when she twirls around to see Jaebeom standing behind her. âMorning, babe~â she chirps happily, giving him a sweet kiss.
  He nods, but heâs frowning at her. âWhereâs my answer, baby?â Yoongi ignores the way her heart races at his tone. Heâs changed somehow since that day. How, though, she canât really put a finger on it. âWhat are you wearing?â
  âUm, clothes?â
  âDonât you think you should cover up some more?â Jaebeom questions, raising an eyebrow, looking pointedly at her chest.
  Yoongi giggles nervously as she covers her breasts. Her bralette is lace, she knows her nipples are probably visible. âNo⌠itâs hot, Jaebeommie~â she says, her smile forced now. âIâm not going out, so does it matter?â
  That was the wrong thing to say. Jaebeomâs mouth curls in displeasure as his eyes narrow. âDoes it matter? Obviously not to you, Yoongi.â His cold tone makes her shiver. âBut to me, it matters that my girlfriend is parading around a house full of guys in her underwear like some kind of slut.â
  He might as well have slapped her. Yoongi flinches back at his icy tone. No, itâs not just his tone. The entire room feels like it dropped several degrees after his last statement. Out the corner of her eye, she can see Kiseok, body stiff in front of the stove, obviously listening, probably in case he thinks he needs to intervene. Tears well up in her eyes at the thought of someone needing to come between her and Jaebeom.
  âI-Iâll go change,â Yoongi mutters, ducking her head in shame. Sheâs barely taken two steps when Jaebeom catches her by her arm.
  âWhy, because I said something?â Jaebeom asks. Roughly, her tugs her so sheâs standing in front of him again. âIf I hadnât said anything, would you have just stayed like that all day? Let everyone who comes in to meet with me see you lounging about like a whore in a brothel?â
  Her eyes burn as tears start running down her face. She wants to say no, he knows she always stays in her room when clients come over, but she canât form the words. Why is he being so hurtful? Jaebeom never talks to her like this. Why is he so angry? What did she do wrong? Before she can ask or defend herself, thereâs another voice speaking.
  âThatâs enough, Jay,â Kiseok says as he flips another pancake. His voice is soft, just barely loud enough to be heard across the room, but itâs firm.
  As soon as Jaebeom lets go of her arm, Yoongiâs darting out of the kitchen to the staircase. She can hear Jaebeom walk across the kitchen as she ascends. Sheâs just reached the second floor when Jaebeomâs voice carries up from beneath her. Heâs yelling at Kiseok. God, why is he yelling? Why did he change so suddenly? She slumps to the floor miserably, trying to block out the noise with her hands.
  She wants her Jaebeom back.
  Yoongi blinks slowly, taking in her surroundings as she wakes up. Sheâs in the attic. Did she fall asleep up here? She almost always sleeps in Jaebeomâs room. Yawning, she sits up, running her hand back through her hair, momentarily confused by the short bristles scratching her palm.
  Oh. Right. Cursing, she throws herself back onto the bed, misery weighing heavy in her chest. Stupid fucking Jay. She hopes she at least left an ugly bruise on his face. Broodingly, she stares around the small attic. All her old decorations are still up: a calendar from last year still on October; her vanity with her hair brushes still lined up neatly on top, almost inviting her to get ready; then thereâs the photostrips pinned up everywhere.
  Photo-booths had been her and Jaebeomâs thing. Any time they went somewhere, if there was a photo-booth, they were getting pictures made in it. The poses were always different except for the last picture. For the last picture, they always kissed. It always made her feel giggly and light. Especially when theyâd get the strips from the dispenser on the machine and Jaebeom would kiss her again.
  She hates photo-booths now.
  She slowly slides off the bed, wincing as she puts weight on her right foot. Right, she kicked the door last night. She winces as she looks down at it. Itâs all mottled red and brown from bruising. At least itâs not broken. She walks gingerly over to the door, ready to test the knob again.
  Except itâs already twisting open.
  Yoongi jerks back, hands raising defensively in front of her in case she needs to fight. Who would be the best to fight? She doesnât have time to think about it before the door swings open, revealing Kiseok on the other side. Immediately, her arms drop. âWhaâŚâ
  âJay said to let you out when you calmed down,â Kiseok says with a shrug, stepping back to let her out.
  This feels like a trap. âSo what, thatâs it?â She demands, except thereâs no heat in her voice like when she talks to Sunghwa or Hyukwoo. âNo telling me to go see Jay, no having to deal with any fuckery?â
  The corner of Kiseokâs mouth twitches up in a smile. âEveryone else is still asleep. Theyâll think you just managed to get the door open and escape⌠wouldnât be the first time,â he says knowingly before turning around to walk down the stairs.
  Yoongi watches blankly as Kiseok reaches the second floor then walks into his bedroom. It shouldnât be this simple. She should feel suspicious⌠except she doesnât. Biting her lip, she tiptoes down the stairs, carefully creeping down to the first floor. No one stops her. No alarms blare.
  The sunâs starting to come up over the horizon, the soft rays of light illuminating the path away from the house as she steps onto the porch. She takes a deep breath. No oneâs coming after her. Itâs quiet, just like a normal Saturday morning should be, like nothing ever changed.. Sighing to herself, she runs a hand back through her hair before she begins the journey back to her apartment.
    Yoongi takes a deep breath as she sets up containers of Chinese food on the island in her kitchen.  She doesnât do this, the whole warm, neighborly outreaching thing.  This time is the exception, Namjoon is the one who told her about this job.  She feels slightly obligated to do something nice in return, good karma and all that shit.
    Sheâs just set out a couple plates when she hears the tell-tale sound of keys jingling.  Swallowing gently, she rushes over to the door, peering carefully through the peephole. Sure enough, thereâs Namjoon, messenger bag slung over his shoulder, loosening his tie as he unlocks his door. She pulls open her own door, the sound drawing Namjoonâs attention. He looks over his shoulder, thick-rimmed glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.
    âOh, hey, Yoongi,â he calls cheerfully, turning to look at her fully. âHowâre you?â
  She canât help but smile at his good mood. âIâm alright,â she says, running a hand back through her hair. âI, uh, I picked up some Chinese on my way in today, but I got way too much. You wanna come over for dinner?â
    Namjoon raises an eyebrow as he pushes up his glasses. âLook at you, playing the friendly neighbor,â he teases. âThat actually sounds amazing though. Let me change and Iâll be over.â
    âI actually lock my door, so make sure to knock,â she shoots back, smiling at his laughter as he disappears into his own apartment. She closes her door so she can return to the kitchen. Her feet lead her to the freezer. Typical. She shakes her head. Even though itâs a celebration, no alcohol. Alcohol is for dealing with pain. Instead, she opens the fridge to pull out a couple cans of Coca-Cola. The metallic red gleams tauntingly in the dim light of her kitchen.
    Her breath hitches. Quickly, she sets them on the counter, alongside everything else, with shaking hands. Not right now. Sheâs celebrating. Running her hands back through her hair, she glances over the spread on the counter. Drinks, food, chopsticks, plates, napkins. If anything else is needed, Namjoon will ask for it. Probably. Unless heâs just overly polite.
    Speaking of politeness, or lack thereof, her mind wanders to the scene at the diner earlier. Sunghwa and Hyukwooâs attitudes didnât surprise her at all. Since she walked out on Jay and cut everyone close to him out, theyâve been cold to her. To be fair, sheâs been cold right back. No, what surprised her was Kiseokâs lack of interaction.
    Out of everyone in that house, Kiseokâs the one she regrets cutting out the most. He was like a big brother and the one she was closest to, other than Jay.
    A loud knock at the door pulls her out of her thoughts. Sighing she walks over to the door, checking that it is in fact Namjoon before opening it. âTook ya long enough,â she teases, stepping back so he can come inside.
    Namjoon chuckles, pushing the door closed behind him. His clothes are definitely more casual now, though not as casual as what she wore to his place the other night. She frowns at the fitted jeans and white T-shirt before shaking her head. âYouâre not wearing your glasses,â she comments as they walk back into the kitchen to fix their plates.
    âYeah⌠theyâre not actual prescription glasses,â he admits sheepishly, ruffling his dyed hair. âThey just make me look more scholarly and serious. People tend not to take you seriously when you have dimples.â
    Yoongi snorts as they start piling their plates with fried rice, orange chicken, and everything else in the different containers. âPeople never take you seriously when youâre cute, I know from experience.â She grabs one of the cans of Coke in the same hand as her chopsticks as she leads the way to the living room. Itâs nothing spectacular. A small TV on a simple end table. A banged up coffee table in front of a dingy, worn out couch with mismatched throw pillows.
    He hums in agreement, cheeks flushed for some reason, as they settle on the couch and start digging into their food. âDid you ever put in for that job at the school?â He asks curiously.
    Nodding, she swallows a mouthful of food. âYeah⌠thatâs actually what inviting you over for dinner was for, as a thank  you,â she admits with a small smile. âI interviewed this morning and got the position.â
    âYoongi, thatâs fantastic!â Namjoon says with a broad grin, though it dims slightly. âYou didnât have to buy me food or thank me.â
    âExcept, I kind of did. Youâre the one who told me about the position. I wouldnât have known about it otherwise. I donât usually check schools when Iâm job hunting.â She shrugs. âJust figured Iâd return a kind gesture with another one.â She pops a piece of chicken in her mouth. âGood karma ânâ all that shit,â she says around the mouthful.
    Laughing, Namjoon nods, taking a sip of Coke. âSo, do you want to walk with me to work on Monday?â
    âSure⌠that sounds nice,â Yoongi admits before reaching over to pick up the remote. âWanna watch something?
     Yoongi sighs as she sits on the edge of her bed, brushing out her long, silky hair. Jaebeomâs busy in a meeting. Itâs probably not good. He was in a foul mood when Hyukwoo informed him who would be coming over today. Ji something, she didnât catch his whole name. She overheard Sunghwa and Kiseok talking about it as she headed upstairs. The guy owes Jaebeom money, has for a few months now. Jaebeom doesnât appreciate people taking advantage of him. She doesnât blame him though. No one should take advantage of someone so generous and kind and-
    She jumps at the almost deafening bang from downstairs. Curiously, she gets up from the bed and creeps down the stairs. Sheâs just reached the last step when the door to Jaebeomâs office flies open. Sunghwa and Hyukwoo march out, dragging someone⌠except heâs not struggling. His head hangs low, not even trying to keep it-
    Gasping, Yoongi recoils at the sight. The manâs face is drenched in blood, still oozing from the bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Oh god, the bang she heard, that was⌠She leans against the wall, her stomach doing flips as the metallic scent of fresh blood finally hits her. Oh god, itâs everywhere, streaked across the pretty hardwood floors. It hurts to fucking breathe, her chest feels so tight. It only gets worse when Jaebeom walks out of his office, his features steely. No, thatâs not her Jaebeom, he never looks like that.
    Dizzily, she finally stumbles off the last step onto the floor. Jaebeomâs head whips around so he can glare in her direction. She whimpers, backing up at the sight. Scary. Jaebeom isnât supposed to be scary. His features soften almost immediately as he rushes over to her, the bottoms of his fancy high tops leaving tread marks in the blood.
    âHey, Yoongs, look at me.â he tells her softly, tilting her head up. Oh god, something wet and hot is sliding down her face. Just like that manâs. No, not man. Corpse. It was a fucking corpse that had its face drenched in blood. âHey, baby girl, why you cryinâ?â Jaebeom tries again, wiping away her tears. âItâs okay, Iâm right here.â
    No, it isnât okay. Thereâs some weird, sour, almost sulfuric smell on Jaebeomâs hand, overpowering the comforting scent of his cologne. âI heard⌠I sawâŚâ She sobs, not sure where to even fucking begin. âJaebeom⌠there was a bang- no a gunshot , Jaebeom! He was shot in the head! Blood⌠so much bloodâŚâ
    Jaebeom hums, pulling her into a tight hug. âI know, baby doll, I know,â he whispers, stroking her hair. âHad to do it though. Business, yâknow?â
    Jerking out of his embrace, Yoongi stares up at him fearfully. â You shot him?â she questions, her voice barely audible.
    âYoongs⌠listen,â Jaebeom sighs, running a hand back through his hair. âThat guy, Jiho, he was running for me. But he started skimming cash from the payments and pocketing it for himself, even though I was paying him plenty-â
    âYou could have given him a second chance!â
    âBaby, that was his second chance,â Jaebeom says sadly. Oh no, sheâs making him sad. He reaches out to take her hands, lacing their fingers together. She lets him. âI had to make an example out of him. If I hadnât, what would stop the other runners from doing exactly what he did? It would ruin me. I wouldnât be able to take care of you. Do you get that?â
    It makes sense. Of course it does, Jaebeom knows what heâs doing. Itâs still so terrifying though. Yoongi nods, squeezing his hands. âYes, babe.â
    Yoongi sits straight up in bed, gasping to catch her breath. Fuck , she hates that nightmare, that memory. That should have been her first clue Jaebeom, no, Jay was no good. Itâs dumb, she needs to stop separating his actions and assigning them to Jaebeom and Jay. Heâs the same person, aware of all of his actions. This isnât Jekyll and Hyde.
    Groaning, she looks over at her alarm clock. 2:39 a.m. Fucking. Yay. She sighs as she rolls off the bed, teetering a bit when she stands up too quickly. Never too early for some hard liquor to lull her back to sleep. She shuffles out into the living room, flipping on the TV as she heads into the kitchen, half-listening to whatever channel itâs tuned to.
    â-Mayor Kim announces decision to run for reelection-â Pull out a bottle of whiskey. Slam the freezer door closed. â-occer team moves on to the semi-finals-â Set the bottle on the counter. Go to the cabinet. Get a glass. â-date on a murder investigation. The body that was found in the alley next to the Starlight Diner was identified as Park Jimin.â
    Yoongi doesnât feel the glass slip out of her hand. She doesnât hear it shatter on the floor, sending shards of glass across the floor like ripples from a stone thrown in a pond. She doesnât remember grabbing her keys or rushing out of the house. She does remember running. The brisk early autumn air fills her lungs. It almost burns. Just like how the concrete bites at her bare feet as she races across an all too familiar path. She doesnât see the people staring at her, a scrawny girl with bedhead in a red bralette and black gym shorts.
    Soon, too soon, not soon enough, that awful, terrible, beautiful gray colonial comes into view. She doesnât even bother with the gate. Instead, she vaults over the low fence like a pro. She doesnât want to slow down. Itâs been too long. Thereâs not enough time. Thereâs no time left at all.
    They always keep the stupid front door unlocked. She leaves it open before charging up the stairs, not caring how loud her feet pound against the wooden steps. Once she reaches the next floor, she makes a beeline for the bedroom right next to the office. Jayâs bedroom. She throws it open before storming into his room. How can he sleep so peacefully after all the shit heâs done?
    God, it pisses her off.
    All she can see is red.
    She leaps on the bed, quickly straddling his stomach before the punches start flying, trying to hit everywhere she can: his chest, his arms, his face. His stupid, annoying, perfect, smug face.
    âThe hell?!â
    Thereâs shuffling as he moves beneath her. Her blows donât stop, not even when the bedside lamp comes on, illuminating the situation. It only stops when Jay grabs her by the wrists. Even with his muscles, his strength, he struggles to keep her still. âThe fucking hell, Yoongs?â He demands, looking at her like he doesnât fully believe sheâs there.
     âYouâre such a fucKING ASSHOLE!â She shrieks, her voice rising in volume as she flails, fighting to get her arms loose. âI quit my job, I turned Jimin down, I did everything you fucking told me to do. You didnât have to kill him , you miserable, low-life, fucking-â She screams, lunging at him.Sheâs crying again, hot tears of rage streaming down her cheeks,
    Jaebeom leans back, eyes darkening slightly as the realization sets in. âIf he was going to keep harassing you for a date, who knows what else he would ha-â
     âI donât need a selfish prick like you protecting me! I can take care of myself!â
    Heavy, hurried footsteps tromp down the hall. Hyukwoo and Sunghwa both appear, still in their pajamas. They each grab one of her arms, pulling her off Jay with ease. Yoongi kicks her legs frantically, managing to get one good hit to Jayâs chest.
    Jay sits up, sighing as he runs his hands back through his hair. He looks at Yoongi tiredly. If Yoongi cared, sheâd notice the dark circles under his eyes. She doesnât care. Hasnât for a long time. âTake her to her room,â Jay says shortly. âWeâll let her out when she finally calms down.â
    âYou canât just fuckin-â She doesnât get to say much else before Hyukwoo and Sunghwa are dragging her out of Jayâs bedroom. Just like they dragged that corpse and so many others out of Jayâs office. Her stomach turns at the thought. Itâs painful when they drag her up the stairs to the attic, throwing her inside before slamming the door shut.
    Yoongi scrambles back to her feet, jostling the door handle. Locked. They fucking locked it from the outside. âNot this shit again,â she mutters before banging frantically against the wood. âLet me out! You canât fucking do this to me! Fucking assholes!â She kicks the door, swearing loudly before she limps over to the bed. Jay was right, they kept it all clean, tidy, and ready for her, if she ever came back.
    Slowly, her heavy breathing turns to sobs as she curls up on the bed. Jiminâs dead. Itâs her fault. No, itâs Jayâs fault for being a possessive piece of shit. Itâs not her fault. Steadily, her sobs soften as exhaustion finally overtakes her and she succumbs to sleep.
   By the time spring rolls around, Yoongiâs moved into the house with the guys. They converted the attic for her into her own private space, complete with a reading nook by the intricate, circular window at the front of the house; a dresser filled with clothes for her, and an extremely comfortable bed with a simple wire frame. Well, she assumes itâs comfortable. She usually sleeps with Jaebeom in his room, enthralled with falling asleep in his arms and waking up in the morning still curled around one another.
  Sheâs stopped running, surprisingly. She and Jaebeom usually spend their days together, unless heâs busy with work. She understands though. What he does is important. He helps people when they get in trouble or need something, just like he helped her.
  Thankfully, heâs not busy today, so theyâre down in the basement in the makeshift gym. Theyâre not using the treadmills and theyâre not touching the weights, not today. Not that Yoongi usually likes doing either of those: she hates working out. She loves spending time with Jaebeom though. No, today, Jaebeomâs on the mats in front of the mirror, breezing through a set of push-ups while Yoongi counts from her place on his back.
  â-orty eight, forty nine,â she counts, her voice lilted with happiness, âFifty!â She slides off his back to stand beside him. âItâs not fair that you still did it so easily with me on your back!â She pouts, though she canât help but smile when he stands. Heâs not wearing a shirt since theyâre not on a machine, leaving his gorgeous tattoos on display. Oh, whoâs she trying to fool? All of him is gorgeous.
  Jaebeom laughs, brushing back the wisps of her hair that fell out of her messy bun. She loves seeing him smile. âBabe, you weigh nothing,â he informs her teasingly. âI could bench press you in my sleep with no problem.â
  Crossing her arms over her chest, Yoongi fights back her smile to try to look intimidating. She doubts itâs working. âOkay then, Mister Iâm-So-Strong, assume the position. I have something thatâs going to make doing your workout harder.â
  âReally now?â The corner of Jaebeomâs mouth curls into an intrigued smirk as he raises an eyebrow. When Yoongi just stares at him expectantly, he shrugs and goes down into a plank. âWell?â
  Yoongi takes a moment to walk around him and admire his form. Strong, solid upper body and fucking skinny ass legs. She gets on to him for skipping leg day but he never listens. Once she gets back around, she sits on the mat in front of him. Carefully extending her legs, she slides under him until sheâs face to face with his cute surprised expression. âFor every push-up you do,â she tells him, trying her best not to grin. Sheâs trying to be serious. âYou get a kiss. Letâs see how long you can stay focused.â
  A pleased grin takes place of his shock as Jaebeom easily lowers himself down, pressing a kiss to her lips. Yoongi giggles as she watches him move back up into the starting position, savoring the warmth spreading through her chest as he gazes down at her tenderly. âOneâŚâ
  Theyâve just passed five when they hear someone clear their throat. Kiseokâs standing just in front of the staircase, smiling tightly at them. âFun workout?â
  Yoongi feels her cheeks flush as Jaebeom laughs. âWhatâs up?â he asks, still hovering over her.
  âHyukwoo just called. He and Sunghwa are bringing up a potential client,â Kiseok informs him blankly. âFigured youâd want the time to freshen up and be ready to intimidate.â
  Jaebeom grins at that description as he jumps to his feet, reaching down a hand to help Yoongi to her own. âSounds good.â He turns back to her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. âMovie after I get done with this meeting?â
  âYeah, Iâll make popcorn,â Yoongi promises, forcing a smile. Kiseokâs words are floating in her head though. Jaebeom isnât intimidating. Sure, he doesnât always choose to help people, but thatâs because theyâre not deserving or actually in need of his help. One last smile then she and Jaebeom are kissing before he heads up the stairs.
  Once the sound of footsteps fades away, she looks over at Kiseok, who is still standing there for some reason. âWhatâs up?â She asks him, playfully hitting his arm once sheâs close enough. âWhy so serious?â
  âYou need to break up with Jay.â
  Yoongi jerks back as though Kiseok just slapped her. âWh-what?â she stutters, eyes widening in disbelief. Kiseok is obviously Jaebeomâs right-hand, his best friend, how is he just telling her to ditch him? âWhy are you saying this? Do you have feelings for me? Is-â
  âWhat?â Kiseok cuts her off, looking bewildered. âWhat, no! Youâre a kid.â He shakes his head before looking nervously over his shoulder. âThatâs not the point,â he says lowly. âWhat Iâm trying to get at his, Jayâs bad news.â
  âHow can you say that?â Yoongi asks brokenly, âJaebeomâs so good to everyone-â
  Kiseok cuts her off again, staring at her seriously. âYoongs, Iâve known the guy much, much longer than you have. Iâve shielded you from a lot of the bad shit heâs done and heâs pretty much covered everything else.â
  âIf heâs so bad, why are you still around?â She demands. âWhy are you trying to force me to leave if youâre staying?â
  Sighing, Kiseok locks gazes with her. âCause Iâm in too deep,â he admits, âI donât have a family and if Jay ever gets caught by the cops-â Yoongi wants to cry at the very thought. â-Iâll be hunted down and charged with pretty much everything he gets.â His eyes soften as he considers her. âYouâre still so young, you could go to college, have a future, actually do something with your life. Cause youâre an accessory now to anything Jay does. He gets caught, youâre getting locked up too.â As he continues, his voice softens, âYou wouldnât be able to see your parents anymore either, kid. I know how often you call, that you promise to come try to see them soon. You wonât be able to do that from prison.â
  Tears sting at Yoongiâs eyes as she glares at Kiseok, all of her insecurities swirling in her head. âJaebeom loves me-â
  âLove doesnât hold you hostage and keep you from seeing the people you care about.â
  âShut up!â Yoongi screams, tears falling freely down her face as she glares at Kiseok. He looks so damn sympathetic, like he has any reason to feel sorry for her. âJust fucking shut up, you donât have any damn right-â she chokes off with a sob, shaking her head as she pushes past him and races up to the main floor, the second floor, all the way up to her room in the attic so she can collapse on her bed.
  Kiseokâs wrong. Heâs so wrong, she canât even fathom it. Jaebeom loves her, Jaebeom does whatâs best for her, for them, right? She sobs, heavy and unbridled, into one of the plush pillows, but even that doesnât muffle the sound of her woes and insecurities. She crying so loudly that she doesnât hear hurried footsteps coming up that stairs or the sound of someone calling her name.
  She feels a strong, familiar hand on her back, coercing her to look up from her pillow. Jaebeomâs staring down at her worriedly, gently reaching a hand to wipe away the vestiges of tears on her splotchy cheeks. âYoongs, babe, what happened, why are you so upset?â He murmurs, frowning at her state.
  Gulping back another sob, Yoongi shakes her head, pushing herself up so she can throw herself into Jaebeomâs arms. âStupid shit,â she mutters, clinging tightly to him, only relaxing when she feels his arms wrap around her. âI love you, I love you so much.â
  Thereâs a soft kiss at her temple. âLove you too, baby, donât you ever forget it.â
  âWell, Ms. Min,â Principal Kim Jaejoong says warmly, leaning back in his high-backed leather chair. Ms. Kwon (Boa, Yoongi had learned her first name at the beginning of the interview) is seated to his right, smiling brightly at her. Yoongiâs starting to think everyone who works at this school has to look like a model. Mr. Kim has stylish honey blonde hair and pretty, serious, big eyes that make him look like a real life anime character. âWeâll see you first thing Monday morning to get you settled into your new role.â
  Yoongi nods, smiling in return. âThank you for the opportunity,â she says, inclining her head before standing. âHave a lovely weekend.â
  She waits until sheâs down the street from the school to let out a loud, victorious laugh that earns her quite a few scandalized looks from other pedestrians. She doesnât care though. She has a new job, she can continue supporting herself. Humming happily, she decides to go get a late breakfast in midtown. It doesnât matter if the guys see her now, she knows they wonât go dragging her off to Jay if nothingâs new.
  She just settled at a booth at one of her favorite diners (she frequents a lot of a diners since Jay hates them), sipping on her glass of orange juice, when she hears a voice that makes her choke.
  âYoongi? Is that you?â Jimin asks, looking surprised as he slides across in the bench across the table from he. Heâs in casual clothes, his hair unstyled, which strikes her as odd.
  Nodding, she coughs harshly, trying to get the juice out of her windpipe. âWhy arenât you at work?â she finally manages to croak out.
  He shrugs, playing with the straw wrapper on the table. âTook some time off,â he answers evasively, raising an eyebrow. âWhat about you? I thought you moved a couple days ago.â
  âJob fell through, unfortunately,â she lies easily, letting out one last weak cough. âI found another one at a school uptown though, so itâs all good.â
  The sound of the bell ringing, signaling new customers, doesnât catch her attention. What does catch it, however, is a low voice requesting a table for three. She glances out of her peripheral, heart dropping at the sight of Hyukwoo, Sunghwa, and  Kiseok walking toward the table right next to their booth. Why the hell the universe has to push them into each otherâs paths right now, sheâs not sure. She canât escape though, Jiminâs still talking.
  â-ouâre in town, maybe you want to meet up for that date after all?â Jimin suggests with a shy smile.
  Oh no. Oh shit, this isnât good. The guys are right next to them and as soon as she speaks, theyâre going to notice her. âJimin,â she says softly, trying not to attract their attention, âI really donât think thatâs a good idea.â
  Jimin frowns, his forehead creasing as he blinks in confusion. âBut⌠just a few days ago you agreed to a date,â he says, âWhy is it different suddenly?â
  âCircumstances are different,â she whispers, glancing around again. Shit, Hyukwooâs looking over at them. He doesnât know she dyed her hair though. Maybe heâs just being nosey. Hopefully heâs just being nosey. âTrust me, itâs better-â
  âShouldnât that be for me to decide, Yoongi?â Dammit, whyâd he have to say her name? She can feel the guys staring at them. âYou know how I feel about you, you know how long I waited to ask you on a date, a date that you said yes to, if you donât recall, and now youâre suddenly acting like none of that matters?â He shakes his head, looking at her determinedly. âOne date, thatâs all Iâm asking for, just to see if you could feel the same.â
  She shakes her head. âI canât do that, not right now,â she tells him clearly.
  Jimin nods, his jaw clenched slightly. âThen Iâm not giving up, if thereâs a chance in the future,â he declares before standing. âSee you around, Yoongi.â Before she can stop him, heâs walking out of the diner.
  Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she turns to glare at the table next to her. âDonât any of you dare fucking tell Jay about this?â
  âWhy shouldnât we?â Hyukwoo shoots back at her, âJayâs not the one who abandoned us.â
  âYou fucking know why I left,â Yoongi fires back, gritting her teeth. âDonât try to hold it against me that you decided to stay and work for that fu-â
  Sunghwa interrupts her, his voice quiet, but firm. âItâs a moot point, I already texted Jay before your little admirer left.â
  âGod, you guys fucking suck,â she growls, fishing out her wallet to throw down enough money to cover her glass of juice. Luckily, she hadnât ordered her food yet. She glowers at them one last time. Hyukwoo and Sunghwa hold her glare just as angrily, but oddly enough, Kiseokâs just staring down at the formica tabletop. This is insane, those three used to be her best friends before Jay pushed her too far.  She shakes her head before storming out of the diner, good mood officially ruined.
   Yoongi takes a deep breath as she stares at the mass of white brick buildings laid out in front of her. If she didnât know any better, she would have thought it was some sort of government building from the well-kept lawns, ornamental shrubs, and statues depicting long-forgotten figures that no one cared about anymore. She does know better, knows itâs the middle school where Namjoon teaches English.
  She had decided on a black pantsuit with a plain red blouse underneath her blazer. Power colors. No pencil skirts, especially not after Jayâs comment about her wearing them yesterday. Sheâs not trying to be cute. The same black folder is tucked beneath her arm again, except this time it holds her rĂŠsumĂŠ and cover letter. Not an end this time, but hopefully a new beginning. Her red heels click against the sidewalk as she approaches the first building, the statuary marble plaque engraved with the word âofficeâ shining in the morning light.
  The tiled marble floors inside match the plaque outside. Veins of gray streak through the white in broad, dynamic, nonsensical patterns. Yoongi crinkles her nose in displeasure as she takes in the office: White suede couches tucked away in the corner, one against each wall, framing a white wood coffee table; marble shelves inside white wood display cases, showing off all the various awards the school has won; and the front desk, a stretch of white wood from wall to wall, except one of the walls topped with a matching marble counter. Everythingâs a perfect match.
  She hates it. It feels fake. It looks like a blank canvas waiting to be filled with color. It reminds her of a doctorâs office: sterile. She can practically smell antiseptic. In her black and red outfit, she feels like the embodiment of sin, like she might leave a stain on anything she touches. She approaches the counter, the desk. She can see the entrance into the little office space, connected the the hallway the door to her left. No one in sight, the white, faux leather chair behind the desk empty.
  âHello?â She calls into the emptiness.
  Barely a moment after she speaks, the door behind the desk opens, An immaculately dressed woman comes into the space behind the desk, shooting Yoongi a dazzling smile. âHello,â she greets, her pale pink sheath dress accented with a braided white belt fastened around her waist. âIâm Vice Principal Kwon, how can I help you?â
  âMin Yoongi, nice to meet you,â Yoongi responds, taking Ms. Kwonâs extended hand, taking note of her perfect French manicure as she gives it a firm shake. âI heard about your vacancy for the receptionist position. Iâm here to apply.â As she hands over her folder, she notices Ms. Kwonâs smile become forced, her eyes flitting up to her hair.
  âYes, well, weâll add it to the poolâŚâ Ms. Kwon trails off as she flips open the folder, her eyes scanning over the paper inside. âYou worked for Prospere Corp?â She asks, clearly stunned as she looks back up to Yoongi. Theyâre one of the top businesses in the country. Why would you resign from there?â
  Yoongi shrugs, forcing a smile of her own. âJust ready to take on a new challenge.â
  âIndeed,â Ms. Kwon murmurs as she closes the file. âWell, as part of the employment here, youâre required to have a naturally occurring hair color: black, brown, blonde, or auburn. Gray, silver, and white are only acceptable if caused by age.â She closes the file before smiling. âDye your hair and come back tomorrow at nine oâclock sharp for an interview and Iâd say you have this job in the bag.â
  Yoongi thanks her before leaving. Perfect. The applicant pool must be full of overprotective moms trying to keep a closer eye on their kids. She sniggers to herself as she walks out of the school gates. First though, she needs to take care of her hair. Humming thoughtfully, she glances around. Sheâs not terribly familiar with uptown. She figures all of the salons are good though. Downtown doesnât have any salons, nor does her neighborhood, and she might run into one of Jayâs goons, or even Jay himself, in midtown.
  Finding one is easy. She ducks into the first one she comes across. Close to three hours later, her hair has become a yellowy platinum, bright like midday sunlight, but obviously blonde. Itâs perfect. Humming happily to herself, she begins the walk home, debating what she wants to grab for lunch, Itâs sunny, slightly breezy and she can feel summer slowly drawing to a close and the whispers of autumn beginning to drift through the air.
  Yoongi ends up spending more and more time at the gray colonial as summer fades into autumn and autumn falls into winter. Every time sheâs over now, Jay emerges from wherever heâs been hiding to hang out with her and the guys. She finds it flattering, honestly. Heâs so handsome and powerful and for some reason choosing to put his work to the side to spend time with her.
  Other than that kiss, heâs kept his distance, occasionally patting her shoulder when he walks by her, pulling her into a one-armed hug when he sees her for the first time that day and when she leaves; and exchanging high-fives when she burns one of the other guys. She doesnât have a lot of physical contact with him. Kiseok seems to be blocking her from it. Why, she doesnât know. Jayâs great to be around. Heâs witty, funny, sarcastic, and makes her feel welcome.
  A few nights before Christmas, she, Kiseok, and Jay are in the living room. Thereâs a fire crackling merrily in the stone hearth. Five stockings hang from mantle, the one on the far right a soft pink, much different from the red stocking on the opposite end and the three green stockings that fill them middle. Jay had teased her as he hung the pink one, saying it was for her, she was part of their family now. She had blushed furiously, hitting Jayâs arm and muttering for him to shut up.
  Theyâre watching a movie. Well, Yoongi and Kiseok are watching a movie, eyes trained on the screen above the mantle. Sheâs in the middle of the two of them on the couch. Out the corner of her eye, she can see Jay studying his phone, essentially ignoring the TV. She wonders why heâs even in here then. Hyukwoo and Sunghwa had bailed when they suggested a movie.
  âHey, Kiseok,â Jay speaks up, grabbing the remote so he can turn down the TV. âSome of Imâs guys posted pictures online and theyâre in our territory. Go take care of it.â
  Kiseok looks over at Jay uneasily, glancing around the empty room before looking at Yoongi. âRight now? Canât it wait till-â
  Yoongi cringes back into the couch cushions as Jay glares at Kiseok. âWait until what?â He asks softly.
  An answer never comes. Kiseok sighs as he gets to his feet, ruffling Yoongiâs hair and promising to be back soon. She calls out a cheery âbe safe!â after him. After she hears the door close, she turns to Jay to ask him to turn the movie up again. Except Jayâs no longer leaning against the armrest of the couch. Heâs right beside her, brushing her long, black hair away from her face,
  Yoongi feels the heat rise to her cheeks. Jayâs looking at her so attentively, so affectionately. Itâs an odd feeling, making her chest flutter. âWhyâre you lookinâ at me like that?â
  ââCause,â Jay murmurs, his lips curling into a handsome smile. Everything about him is handsome. The light from the fire casts him in a warm glow, his nose stud twinkling in the light. It flatters him, everything flatters him. Heâs perfect. âHave I told you how glad I am that you joined? That I got to meet you?â
  She shakes her head , biting her lip as she considers him. âIâm glad I joined,â she whispers. She doesnât know why sheâs whispering. Kiseokâs out on that assignment and Sunghwa and Hyukwoo are who only knows where. âIt feels like freedom here.â
  That makes him chuckle as he bring up a hand to stroke her cheek. His hand is cool against her flushed skin and she leans into the touch. âIâm glad youâre here⌠with me,â he admits quietly. Yoongi feels her heart pick up speed as he looks into her eyes, warmth and sincerity evident in his gaze. âYouâre so amazing, Yoongi. Youâre strong, clever, and so, so beautiful.â He lets out a soft huff of a laugh. Itâs then she notices the faint pink dusting his cheeks. âYouâre so perfect, Yoongs, and⌠I love you.â
  Yoongi doesnât remember saying anything. The next thing she can recall is closing the gap between them to kiss him heatedly, her hands sliding up his chest to grab at his shoulders. He returns the kiss, one hand curving around her tiny waist, the other still cradling her cheek.
  When they break apart, Yoongi rests her forehead against his, smiling brightly. âI love you too, Jay.â
  He shakes his head, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. âReal nameâs Jaebeom,â he murmurs, âCall me that.â
  That draws a giggle from her and makes him smile fondly at her. âOkay, Jaebeom.âItâs perfect, holding each other while they bask in the heat of the fire and the beauty of a new relationship. Absolutely perfect.
  âYouâre kidding, right?â Yoongi gripes as she glares at Sunghwa from the passenger seat of the the car. He had caught her in the short stretch she had to walk through midtown to get back to her neighborhood. âWhat, do you guys get extra brownies points or some shit for bringing me to him?â
  âOnly when things change,â Sunghwa says with a shrug. âYou dyed your hair again. Heâs gonna wanna see it.â Yoongi grumbles about just sending him a picture, which just makes Sunghwa scoff. âLike youâd actually send him a picture.â He shakes his head, turning left onto the road leading to the house. âYou changed... both of you did.â
  Yoongi closes her eyes at that statement. After what happened, she had pretty much bailed on the rest of the guys, eager to put as much distance as she could from anything to do with Jay. âThatâs what people do,â she answers softly, no heat behind the statement.
  Just like Kiseok yesterday, Sunghwa pulls up to the curb of the cul-de-sac to let her get out. She walks slowly up to the gate, hoping to hear the car drive off. No such luck. She sighs, shooting Sunghwa a bird without looking back.
  She hesitates in the foyer once sheâs inside, carefully pulling off her heels. If Sunghwaâs out on the streets, Jayâs not meeting with potentials. Realistically, he should be in the living roo-
  âYou dyed your hair.â
  She looks up at the stairs. Jayâs slowly descending, looking like he just woke up. His hair is sticking up on one side, the rest is just a ruffled mess. Heâs not wearing a shirt, but has on loose sweats. Yeah, he definitely just woke up. Sunghwa probably texted him to tell him Yoongi was here.
  âYeah, I did,â she answers, crossing her arms over her chest, taking a step back as he reaches the floor. âHave a job interview tomorrow and they only accept natural colors.â
  Jay frowns, mumbling âthat was fastâ before he studies her, his frown deepening slightly. âItâs better than the silver,â he mutters, scratching the back of his head. His other hand moves up to cover his mouth as he yawns. âShouldâve went back to black though.â
  âOkay, you saw I dyed my hair, you know I have an interview, are we done?â Yoongi questions. âI still canât believe you have your guys swoop me up and drop me off here every time I change something.â
  âNeed to know youâre doing okay,â he answers softly, rubbing at one of his eyes. Oh yeah, he just woke up, all the signs are there. âSaid Iâd keep you safe.â
  Oh. âWell-â Fuck, her voice cracks. She clears her throat before trying again. âWell, you already fucked that up, so Iâm leaving now.â She turns, carefully putting her shoes back on before she heads toward the door
  âWait⌠Yoongs.â Shit. She doesnât know why, she really doesnât, but she turns around. Jayâs looking at her sadly. âWill you come around more? Without the guys forcing you?â
  Itâd be so easy, so easy just to run back to his arms and say everythingâs okay, to pretend none of the bad things ever happened. Sheâs tempted to, especially when heâs like this: raw, vulnerable, soft. The side of him that only she ever got to see, not the stupid, arrogant, possessive jackass he pretends to be. The bad things did happen, though, and they outweigh the good things.
  âNo, Jaebeom,â she answers quietly, turning back to the door and walking out. He doesnât run after her, didnât the first time either.
    Itâs unbearably hot outside, unreasonably hot for this early in the summer. Her parents think sheâs off hanging out with one of her high school friends. Yoongi doesnât even remember who she said sheâd be with. Sheâs quite a few neighborhoods away though, in a big gray house where she usually picks up deliveries. Today, however, she doesnât have any deliveries. Instead, sheâs in a pair of shorts and a crop top, hanging out with Kiseok and some of the other guys who actually work for Jay, not through his people.
    âCâmon, donât be so fuckinâ stingy!â Yoongi laughs, trying to grab the bottle of beer out of Kiseokâs hand.
    At first, Yoongi had been hesitant when Kiseok had contacted her after their first meeting. After all, itâs one thing to do odd jobs: paint fences, unload furniture, walk some dogs, that sort of thing. Itâs completely different to be given a list of locations to drop off bags of different drugs and pick up the cash for them. Once she saw the payoff after her first day, she didnât give it a second thought.
    Even though promâs long over, sheâs still running for Jay, whoever he might be. She loves it, loves the thrill, loves the danger, and has even grown the guys she gets her assignments from. Sunghwa mostly keeps to himself, throwing out witty one-liners that keep her cracking up; Hyukwoo is full of laughs and jokes and always suggesting they get food; and Kiseok has practically taken her under his wing, like an older brother.
    âNo way,â Kiseok tells her, grinning as he leans back to keep the bottle out of her reach. âYouâre just a baby. This is a grown-upâs drink.
    Yoongi whines that sheâs eighteen, ignoring the cackling of the other two at Kiseokâs words. Pouting, she drops her elbows to the smooth marble of the island top, glaring at him. âYou suck,â she mutters, resting her chin in her hands.
    Kiseok chuckles as he goes to respond, eyes drifting over to the entryway. He tenses, hands dropping to his side, hand clenching tightly around the bottle. Yoongi frowns as he steps away from the other side of the island to make way for a new comer.
    Tanned skin and tattoos are the first thing that registers in Yoongiâs mind. She canât see all of them: some are hidden beneath the tank top covering his torso. Her eyes trace up the stars on his neck before making it to his face. He has a nose ring. She can see the diamond twinkling against his skin. Biting her lip, she takes in the rest of his features: the messy black hair, the curve of his jaw-
    âWant it?â
    She jerks back to reality as she notices heâs holding the beer Kiseok had just moments ago, offering it to her. Nodding, she reaches out to take it, scowling when he pulls it back at the last second.
   âIf you want it, you gotta do something for me first,â he informs her with a smile that only serves to make him more handsome.
    âWho the fuck do you think you are?â Yoongi demands, oblivious to the other three guysâ panicked, frenzied gestures as they try to catch her attention.
    âI, actually,â  the man replies with a chuckle, âam the man youâve been working for this whole time.â
    Gasping, Yoongi draws back, eyes wide. âJay,â she whispers almost reverently, staring at him in awe. Sheâs not sure what she expected, honestly. Maybe some, old balding fat guy with cigarette breath. Definitely anything other than the stylish Adonis standing on the other side of the island.
     âThatâs right,â Jay smirks. âSo⌠Iâll give this to you,â he says, holding up the bottle and waving it slightly. âIfâŚ.â He bring his other hand up, showing off the tattoos on the back of it as he taps his lips. â...you give me a kiss.â He sets the beer to the side, leisurely leaning across the island expectantly.
    Yoongi nods, swallowing nervously. She can do this. Itâs just a kiss. Except she hasnât kissed anyone before. Her tongue darts out, dragging across the dryness of her lips and why the fuck does she not use chapstick like she should? Bracing herself, she leans forward, pressing her chapped lips against his soft ones, trying ignore the chills running down her spine as she feels him smile.
    Yoongi groans as the lift opens on her floor, practically toppling out. No oneâs hiring: itâs like being a teenager again. Except this time, there's no one to go to for help. Sheâs carrying her heels in one hand, wincing with every step she takes. She needs more comfortable dress shoes. That has to wait though. She has barely enough money stashed away to cover rent for the next couple months, even less if she still wants food.
    Not for the first time, she curses Jay under her breath as she comes to a stop in front of her door. Her keys jingle as they escape the confines of her skirt pocket, drowning out the sound of the door behind her opening.
   âHey.â
    She jumps at the voice, cursing as she drops her keys. âWho in the fucking hell-â She cuts off as she turns around, seeing Namjoon scratching the back of his head sheepishly, standing in the doorway of his apartment.. âI gotta get you a fucking bell,â she mutters as she leans down to grab her keys. When she stands back up, heâs still there. âWhat?â
    âI just⌠I realized that I still donât know your name,â he admits with a half-smile, âAnd my neighborly etiquette hasnât evolved from dorm life, so I figured Iâd ask if you want to join me for dinner.â At the blank stare she gives him, he quickly tacks on, âI ordered pizza, if thatâs-â
     âYoongi,â she interrupts him wearily, running her fingers through her silvery bangs. âMy nameâs Min Yoongi and⌠sure, why the fuck not,â she agrees with a weak smile. Anything to get the thought of Jay out of her mind, to hell with worrying if this guy is actually some psycho killer. At least if sheâs dead, she doesnât have to deal with Jay. âLemme get out of the secretary get-up and Iâll be over.â
    For a split second, Namjoon looks stunned. He breaks into a huge grin (god, those dimples) before letting out a surprised laugh. âYeah, okay, awesome. Just come in whenever youâre ready, the door will be unlocked.â
    Nodding, Yooni gives one last weak smile before disappearing into her apartment. Once the door closes, she sighs, dropping her heels beside the other shoes lined up beside the wall. Well, she muses as she walks back to her room, at least she wonât have to be alone with her thoughts.
    It only takes a few seconds for the skirt and blouse to be shed in favor of yoga pants and a loose tank top. She decides to forgo shoes: sheâs just walking across the hall after all. Stepping out of her bedroom, she glances between her kitchen and the front door. Should she bring something? She doesnât know how this fucking works. Biting her lip, she goes into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the freezer and the two-liter bottle of Cherry Coke off her counter.
    She doesnât give herself time to think about going across the hall. With the whiskey grasped in one hand, the Coke tucked in the crook of her elbow, she locks her door with her keys before turning and marching into his apartment. She knows, in theory, that his apartment has an identical layout to hers. When she walks through the door, though, it feels⌠more welcoming. She frowns as she steps on the mat behind the door, glaring down at the words âwipe your paws,â complete with dog and cat paws decorating it.
    Gross.
    She ventures into the living room, where Namjoon is waiting on the couch, flipping through the TV channels and muttering under his breath. Yoongi canât help but crack a smile at his behavior before approaching the couch and setting her offerings on the coffee table. âI brought drinks,â she announces.
    Namjoon flinches so hard at her sudden appearance that he manages to fall off the couch. âOh, hi,â he greets awkwardly from his place on the floor. âUm, thanks.â
    Shaking her head, Yoongi holds out a hand to help him up. âYou said come in,â she reminds him as he takes her hand. Itâs broad and feels strong, warm but not sweaty, and maybe just a little rough? She steps back, tugging to give him the momentum to get back on his feet.
    âY-yeah, I know,â he says, swaying once heâs back on his own two feet. His hand is still holding hers. âI didnât actually expect you to show up. Everyone here seems...sketchy.â
    Yoongi clears her throat sharply, letting go of his hand so she can pull away. Namjoonâs cheeks flush but she starts talking before he can start rambling apologies. âEveryone here is sketchy,â she confirms, âYou seem to be the only genuine person here.â
    Namjoon frowns, tilting his head as he looks at her. Anything he was going to say gets interrupted by a loud, impatient knocking. He bolts at the sound, running around Yoongi to go answer the door. Sighing, Yoongi settles gently on the edge of the couch. Faintly, she can hear Namjoon talking to who she assumes is the pizza man. Curiously, she glances around.
    Thereâs a desk in the corner with an open, but turned off, laptop sitting in the middle of it. Towers of books surround the computer. On the floor next to the desk is the black messenger bag he had when he left this morning. Her eyes drift across the TV on its stand to the opposite wall, where a humongous bookshelf sits proudly, laden with enough books to furnish a library.
    Damn. Teacher indeed.
    â-epperoni with bacon, is that cool with you?â Namjoonâs voice carries into the living just before he walks in, carrying a pizza box emblazoned with a scene of an empty terrace on the top.
    âYeah, thatâs fine,â Yoongi answers, snapping back to herself to look up at him. âWould you mind grabbing some glasses?â She asks, watching as he walks around the couch to set the box beside the bottles. âIâd rather not choke to death in your apartment.â
    Namjoon laughs before agreeing. âImagine how high my rent would go,â he chortles as he walks toward the kitchen. âI might as well move uptown!â he calls back over his shoulder.
    Despite herself, Yoongi grins as she flips open the box to reveal the most delicious looking pizza sheâs ever seen. Humming happily, she reaches into the box to grab a slice.
    âStarting without me?â Namjoon questions as he walks in just in time to see her take a huge bite out of her first slice.
    Yoongi nods, watching as he sets the glasses on the table before falling back onto the couch next to her. âYou took too long,â she explains after she swallows. Once her first slice is devoured (she was hungry, okay, she hasnât ate since breakfast), she grabs the Cherry Coke, pouring some in each glass. âYou want booze in it?â she questions, holding up one of the cups for Namjoonâs consideration.
    Namjoon smiles and shakes his head, reaching out for the glass. âBest not,â he says. After he takes a sip, he says, âItâd probably be a bad idea to show up to work on my second day with a hangover.â
    âGlad I donât have that fuckinâ problem,â Yoongi mutters, pouring a healthy amount of whiskey into her glass before taking a huge gulp of it.When she sets her glass down, she sees Namjoon staring at her in confusion. âWhat?â
    âYou donât get hangovers?â He says it so innocently that Yoongi has to bite back a snort.
    âNah, I get hangovers like a bitch,â she explains, taking another drink. She should make a drinking game for being around this guy. Anytime she confuses him, take a drink. Anytime she notices his dimples, take a drink. If she keeps hanging around him, sheâll have a full list in no time. âI meant I donât have a job.â
    Namjoon frowns. Yoongi takes the lull in conversation to grab another slice of pizza. âYou called your clothes earlier a âsecretary get-upâ though,â he says. Yoongi notes the cautious tone of his voice. Add a drink for every time he doesnât outright ask something. She takes a sip of her drink. âSorry, I just kind of assumed-â
    âI had an office job,â Yoongi cuts him off as she finishes her second slice, eagerly reaching for a third. âI got laid off today when I went in,â she lies. âI spent the day looking for a new job, but no oneâs hiring. Surprise, surprise.â
     Silence fills the space between them as Yoongi polishes off her third slice to Namjoon's first that heâs still working on. âWell,â he says slowly, hesitatingly (avoiding. Yoongi takes another drink). â... well, I donât know if itâd be your thing,â he continues, looking over at her almost nervously, âTheyâre looking for a front desk secretary at the school I teach at, if thatâs something youâd be interested in.â
    Yoongi tenses at the suggestion. Honestly? It sounds too fucking good to be true, especially if she manages to get it. She can deal with people easily and there would be hardly anything to the job. âYeah⌠thanks for mentioning it.â She turns to give him a grateful, albeit forced, smile.  âCan you give me the name of the school?â
    Once she has the name of the school scribbled on a cat-shaped sticky note (teachers, she swears), she takes to her feet. âYou probably need to head to bed soon,â she comments awkwardly, scratching the back of her head. âThanks for the food.â
    âDonât you want to take your drinks back with you?â Namjoon questions, eyeing the bottle of whisky before looking at her.
    Yoongi shakes her head, silvery strands falling in her face. âNah, Imma just leave âem here,â she says, flipping her hair out of her eyes. âMight need it if we have another one of these nights. Only two sane people in this complex? We gotta stick together.â
   She smiles at Namjoon who just stares at her blankly for a moment before grinning broadly. She fights the urge to pick up her cup for another drink. âNight,â she says before turning around, her smile growing a bit wider when she hears him call âgood nightâ after her.
    Yoongi sighs as she zips up the side of her skirt, taking care that her mint blouse is tucked neatly into it. Last day of work, have to make a good last impression. She laughs bitterly to herself, brushing back her bangs before picking up a small bow, clipping back her hair to keep it out of her face. She looks perfect, she looks normal, she looks employable, all of which sheâs going to need since sheâs going hunting for jobs after Jayâs finished with her.
    Grabbing a black folder from the nightstand, she hurries out of her bedroom, heels clicking on the laminate wood that spreads through her entire apartment. She has to get to the office and get this all over with. Like ripping off a band-aid.
    She steps into the hall, closing her door behind her and taking care to lock it. Sheâs had a couple break-ins while sheâs been living here, she doesnât want to make it easy for them. She slides her key out of the lock, slipping it into her pocket. Taking a deep breath, she turns, somehow managing to run right into someone.
    âHey, watch whe-â she stop abruptly as deep, rambled apologies drown out her own voice. Frowning, she takes in the black slacks, the pressed dress shirt, a tie decorated with Pokeballs, before finally reaching the guyâs face. âNamjoon, right?â She asks.
    He nods sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. âY-yeah. Sorry, I didnât-â
    âShut up,â she cuts him off, rolling her eyes. Her eyes drop from his perfectly styled hair to the messenger bag hanging off his shoulder. âWork?â she asks as she starts walking toward the elevator.
    In only a few steps, heâs already caught up to her. Damn, long-legged bastard. âY-yeah,â he stutters, stepping into the elevator beside her once it arrives. He presses the âGâ button before straightening up. âLiterature teacher at the high school uptown.â
    âIf youâre working uptown, why do you live in this hell-hole?â Yoongi asks, not taking her eyes off the numbers counting down to the ground floor.
    Namjoon laughs, drawing Yoongiâs attention. He smiles, showing off his dimples. Dammit, heâs kind of adorable. âIâm broke as hell, so I thought it might be a good fit.â He smiles at her before looking away shyly to check what floor theyâre at. âI just graduated last week.â
    âOh, I thought you were younger than me,â Yoongi comments offhandedly, âIâm only twenty-one.â
    âThen I am younger than you.â At the confused glance, Yoongi shoots him, he clarifies, âI got my associateâs while I was in high school âcause of a program my school offered. I only had two years for my degree and did my certification while I was in college.â
    The elevator helpfully alerts them of their arrival to the first floor. Yoongi practically runs out, tossing a quick âbyeâ over her shoulder, barely catching Namjoonâs âsee you later.â
    Even though living in the worst part of town has plenty of downsides, one of the reasons Yoongi keeps living here is because itâs only a couple block away from where the office is located. Itâs like walking through a real-life panoramic shot: the crumbling buildings and broken windows of the district she lives in fading into boarded windows and âclosedâ signsâ until it gives way into the monochrome gray scheme that is downtown.
    Downtown never fails to be busy at eight in the morning. Horns blaring from impatient drivers; pedestrians bustling up and down the sidewalk in their pressed suits, briefcases banging against their knees while they walk; jackhammers drilling into the foundation of a construction site that seems like itâll never be done. Over all of this noise, Yoongi canât hear her heels click against the concrete as she walks up the steps into a modern-looking glass skyscraper.
    Itâs like hitting the mute button on life. The only audible sound comes from the click-clack of her heels hitting the marble. It creates a sort of cadence that she marches proudly to, the sound echoing hauntingly around her as she makes her way to the elevator. If she was still into music, she might have recorded it, used it as a beat for a track.
    The familiar âdingâ of the elevator reminds her that those days are gone as she steps through the open doors. The plain black folder tucked under her arm holds a neatly typed resignation letter. She tries not to think about it as she watches the numbers inside the elevator climb. She enjoyed this job, liked the work she did. Now she has to find another one.
    Just before the lift reaches her floor, Yoongi smoothes down her blouse and takes a deep breath. Sheâs always stuck doing things she doesnât want to do. When the doors slide open, she struts out into the office space, eyes flitting across the cubicles. She never thought sheâd be one for the dull and mundane, but it seems like a paradise compared to doing Jayâs dirty work.
    Her eyes dart toward her supervisorâs office, but she turns to walk the other way. A quick glance to her watch tells her itâs five minutes after eight. Her confidence drops as she walks. Itâs carpeted up here, she canât hear her heels. She turns into the break room, which is almost completely deserted, save for one person, whoâs busy pouring himself a cup of coffee.
    She really doesnât want to do this. âMorning, Jimin,â she greets kindly, settling herself at the table where Jiminâs briefcase is set.
    âGood morning, Yoongi,â Jimin greets with a bright grin, brushing his tousled hair out of his eyes after his sets the coffee pot back onto its warming plate. In two quick strides, heâs sitting beside Yoongi, hands wrapped around his mug. âSoâŚâ he drawls, his embarrassment obvious by the slight flush across his cheeks. âWhat time should I pick you up tonight?â
    God, why does he have to look so happy about taking her on a date? âLook, Jimin, we need to talk,â Yoongi says, wincing when she catches the drop in his expression. âYouâre a fantastic guy, you really are, and I would have loved to go on a date and see where things went. But the thing isâŚâ she trails off, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She didnât plan this far, oh god. She was expecting him to get angry, accuse her of leading him on then storm out, not to sit here and patiently hear her out. âI-I got a new job and Iâm moving this afternoon,â she lies quickly. âIâm handing in my resignation today.â
    âO-oh.â
    âIâm so, so sorry, Jimin,â Yoongi whispers, as if the gentleness of her tone will negate the harshness of what sheâs saying. âThey called last night with the offer and I decided to take it.â
    Jimin shakes his head, running a hand back through his hair. âNo, itâs fine.â he tells her, âYouâre doing whatâs best for you and I respect that.â He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. âI just wish I would have had the courage to ask you out sooner.
    âHindsightâs always twenty-twenty,â Yoongi murmurs wisely, resting a hand on his arm. âThank you.â As she stands, she presses a kiss to his cheek. âGoodbye, Jimin.â
    She walks out of the break room and pretends she doesnât hear the sound of porcelain shattering in her wake.
    Once her resignation is safely in her former supervisorâs hands, Yoongi leaves. She doesnât want awkward questions or well-wishes from people sheâs never even spoken to. Itâs a kind of forced politeness that shouldnât exist outside of grocery stores. In a perfect world, it wouldnât even exist there.
    Yoongi curses as she walks out of the managerâs office, loosening her school uniform tie. Yet another place not hiring. This canât be happening, not now. She has a date to her senior prom, but no dress. Worst of all, if she canât get a dress in the next two weeks, sheâll have to cancel.
    She walks out of the grocery store, slowing down at the sight of two men standing awfully close to one another, speaking in hushed voices. Carefully, she approaches them, trying not to let them catch her trying to eavesdrop.
    â-eed help,â one of the men is saying, glancing around frantically. âIâve got sharks ânâ shit after me, heâs helped me before, I need to get in contact with him again.â
    The other man flips his shaggy hair out of his eyes as he chuckles, the sound sending goosebumps down her spine. âYou know Jayâs always willing to give out favors as long as youâre willing to do what he wants.â He claps the manâs shoulder, muttering that heâll get a call later.
    Once the first man has scurried off, Yoongi approaches the second man, her pulse racing excitedly. âExcuse me.â
    He turns to look over his shoulder at her, showing off his strong profile. âYes?â He questions as he slides a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Yoongi watches him place one of the smokes in between his lips before speaking.
    âI need help,â she admits bluntly, taking a step closer to him. âI need a favor from whoever Jay is.â
    The guy freezes, the flame of his lighter going out as he removes the unlit cigarette from his lips and turns to look at her fully. âYouâre a kid,â he says in a rough low voice, staring at her incredulously, âJay donât deal with kids.â
    Yoongi shakes her head, taking another step closer, lowering her own voice. âYou said heâll do favors for whoever is willing to do what he wants,â she reminds him, brushing her long, silky black hair away from her face. âIâm more than willing.â
    âHmâŚâ he studies her for a moment. âWhatâs your name, kid?â
    âMin Yoongi,â she informs him, standing up straight to make the most out of her petite stature.
    He nods, the corner of his mouth curling into a wicked smirk. âIâm Kiseok. Iâll talk to him for you.â
    Yoongi doesnât look up at the sound of the bell ringing. Sheâs too immersed in a stack of pancakes covered in chocolate and strawberries to care about people watching right now. What does catch her attention is a familiar someone sliding into the bench directly on the other side of her table.
    Sighing in annoyance, she drops her fork to look up at her company. âDid he seriously send you to make sure I had resigned?â She demands, rubbing the back of her head. The short bristles of her silvery hair scratch at her palm almost soothingly.
    Kiseok just smiles at her. He almost looks exactly the same as when they met, except his jawline is sharper and his hair is shorter and actually styled. âItâs almost ten and you werenât at his place yet. You know heâs not patient.â
    âSucks to suck, I wanted breakfast first,â Yoongi mutters, picking up her fork again so she can go back to tearing into her pancakes. If heâs not going to comment on her going to a diner on the opposite side of town from Jayâs place, sheâs not either. She doesnât look up from her plate until she hears Kiseok laugh. âWhatâs so fucking funny?â
    âYou,â Kiseok chuckles, shaking his head. âLook at you. Three years later and youâve lost your sparkle, your willingness.â
    Yoongi grits her teeth. âIf youâre just going to make fun of me, get the fuck out. Iâll be at his place after I finish.â
    He lets out a thoughtful hum before shaking his head. âNope, I donât think so. I have strict orders to drive you over there. Youâve already kept him waiting for too long.â
    She doesnât say anything else, just scarfs down the rest of her food before waving over a waitress so she can pay.
    The atmosphere in the car is stiff and awkward. Thereâs some hip-hop album playing on the radio but Yoongi isnât listening. She staring out of her window, trying to make a list of all the places she canât go anymore so she doesnât run into Jimin. It was bad enough to lie, itâll be worse if he sees her again.
    Too soon, much too soon, Kiseokâs parking the car by the curb in front of that familiar gray house. âYou know the way in,â he tells her with a sharp grin, âHeâs waiting for you.â
    Yoongi just grits her teeth, climbing out of the car and slamming the door behind her with as much force as she can muster. She can hear Kiseokâs muffled laughter as she walks through the gate. Again, she doesnât bother knocking, just barges through the front door. This time, though, heâs not in the living room.
    Sighing, she walks back to the foyer so she can walk up the stairs to the second floor. If heâs not on the couch, then heâsâŚ
    Right as she reaches the landing, the door to the study is flung open, followed by a body being tossed out. She sighs, stepping to the side as two familiar guys march out of the office, each grabbing an arm of the man on the floor. If heâs not on the couch, heâs dealing with potential clients. âHyukwoo. Sunghwa,â she greets the two men dragging the unconscious body toward the stairs, nodding at them. More forced politeness.
    They nod back before they start their descent. Sunghwa glances back at her after a couple steps. âHeâs not pleasant right now,â he warns her with a scowl. âWonder whoâs fault that is.â
    Itâs rhetorical, of course it is. Yoongi rolls her eyes as she walks through the open door of the study. Jayâs cradling his head in his hands, elbows resting on the dark wood of his desk. To some, it would be a sign of defeat. Yoongi knows better, can see the tremors running through his arms, the way his shoulders are tense as a strung bow, ready to fire.
    Yoongi closes the door behind her softly and locks it before approaching the desk. His dark hair is falling out of place from where it has been styled. If she was a nicer, better, sweeter person, she would have brushed the hair back into place. Instead, she raises a hand and quickly, loudly, slams her palm against the desk.
    Jay curses, jerking back at the sharp crack thatâs still echoing off the office walls. He looks around wildly before focusing on her, his eyes narrowing. âYouâre late.â
    âNo Iâm not,â Yoongi scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. âYou just said come after I resigned. You didnât give me a timeframe.â
    âAlways a smartass,â Jay mutters, glaring up at her, though she can see him fighting back a smile. Ugh. âDid you do what I told you?â
    âWould I be here if I hadnât?â
    He ignores her question. âWell, since you donât have a job, I guess youâll have to move back in,â he suggests. âYour old room is still free-â
    âI have money saved,â Yoongi cuts him off, glowering. âI have enough to make it a few months. Thatâs more than enough time to find a job.â She puts on a fake smile. âYou know I prefer being independent.â
    âYou mean you enjoy your illusion of independence,â he corrects her, smirking as he leans back in his chair, eyes trailing up and down her body. âIs your next job also going to require the cute bows and pencil skirts? âCause Iâll be honest, itâs really fucking cute on you.â
   Embarrassment sends blood rushing to her face as she practically tears out the mint and black polka dot clip keeping her bangs out of her face. âHave to look the part somehow,â she mutters, finally dropping her gaze and slipping the bow into her pocket. âCan I go now?â
    âSure.â Jay shrugs at her, though that stupid smirk she hates so much is still on his lips. âJust donât be disappointed if you canât get another job and canât make rent.â He takes to his feet, stretching his arms over his head. âAt least you always have a home here,â he offers again with a grin, pivoting to look out the window behind the desk.
    Yoongi sneers, her voice venomous as she fires off, âIâd rather die than live under the same roof as you again.â
    She watches Jay freeze, arms dropping by his sides before heâs looking at her. Not, not looking. Glaring. He stalks toward her, but she not going to back up, sheâs going to stand her ground. She keeps telling herself that until heâs right on top of her.
    Stepping back, she shoots him a dark look, a vehement fuck off leaving her lips when he keeps approaching her. Finally, her back hits the door, leaving her to press against it to try to stay as far away from his as it will allow. Desperately, she throws a punch, trying to deter him. It doesnât work, of course it doesnât, sheâs watched him work out, seen the strength he possesses that proves his physique isnât just for show. He catches her fist easily, pinning her wrist against the door above her head.
    âYouâd do well,â he murmurs as he grabs her other hand and slams it against the door as well. His other hand shifts so he has pressure on both her wrists. âTo remember that can be arranged.â Heâs angry, oh heâs so fucking pissed. But Yoongiâs always had a bad habit of fanning the flames.
    âDo it then,â she spits at him, âMake my fucking day.â
    He laughs at that, the sound as cold and dark as his heart, as his free hand comes down to brush her bangs out of her face. âNow why would I give you what you want?â he asks innocently, resting his forehead against hers. The action is so intimate, so familiar that Yoongi feels like sheâs going to throw up. âEspecially,â he whispers as he moves back, tilting his head so his lips are hovering over hers. âWhen you wonât give me what I want?â
    Yoongi doesnât answer, keeping her eyes down so she doesnât have to see the way heâs looking at her. Itâs worse than anger. Jay smirks at that, cooing âgood girlâ before pressing a kiss to her lips. She doesnât respond, doesnât even look up until heâs let go of her and moved away. Once she sees his back is facing her, she turns immediately to unlock the door, yanking it open and practically throwing herself out of the door.
    Sheâs down the stairs in records time. She doesnât remember if she passed by anyone on her way out or on the street. The next thing she registers is leaning against an alley wall, emptying the contents of her stomach. She coughs roughly, spitting out the last bit of residue in her mouth before straightening up. She has a mission now: go home, brush her teeth, go out and put in as many applications in as many places as she can.
    For Min Yoongi, things are hardly ever simple. She thinks about that while she leans back against a wall in an alley, watching the people walk by. A nearby streetlight illuminates part of the alley sheâs standing in, the orange glow making her hair appear gold instead of its actual silvery gray color. Things arenât simple, she muses as she takes a drag from the cigarette poised between two of her dainty fingers, thatâs why sheâs out in the wealthier part of town where she has no business, people watching. The simplest thing in her life is the fact that if you want to get something, you first must give something.
    She needs a favor.
    Her eyes drift across the scene in front of her, taking in everything: an elderly couple getting out of their candy apple red luxury sports car; the queue to get into some expensive high-end restaurant that probably charges out the nose for a single bite of food; a man with unruly black hair stepping out of an apartment building, wearing those stupid wireless headphones.
    Jackpot.
    Dropping whatâs left of the cigarette, she pushes off the wall, taking care that she steps onto the abandoned butt to crush out the embers. She out in the sidewalk, out in the open now, weaving through seas of indistinguishable designer coats towards her target. Just as heâs about to pass by, she staggers into his path, slamming into him.
    Too quick, too easy, slipped his wallet out of his back pocket right as they collided.
    âOh my god, I am so sorry,â she gushes as she pushes away from him, purposefully wobbling. âI should have known better than to wear heels out walking!â
    The guy laughs, his warm hands resting on her arms to help her steady herself. âItâs fine, accidents happen,â he assures her, âAre you okay? Didnât twist an ankle or anything?â
    She shakes her head, assuring him sheâs fine as she takes a step back, his hands falling from her arms. âAgain, Iâm so sorry, Have a good night!â She waves before ducking around him and continuing on her way. She waits until sheâs rounded the corner to take off sprinting, heels clacking against the concrete.
    Many blocks away, sheâs on a street lined with cute, picturesque house: white picket fences, planter boxes beneath the windows. Glancing around, she pulls the guyâs wallet out of the pocket of her jeans. Whistling lowly, she thumbs through the notes tucked away in it. Man must have been planning on making it ran on somebody. Itâs nothing but hundreds, crisp and neat and begging to be spent. Sucks to be that guy, but she has other plans for this cash. It is, after all, hers now.
    At the end of the street is a cul-de-sac where one single house sits alone. Itâs a pretty two-story gray colonial and the smoke curling out of the chimney only completes the image of a warm and cozy greeting. Yoongi grits her teeth as she walked through the front gate, taking care to not let her heels sink into the dirt. Honestly, sheâd rather be anywhere but here.
    She slowly walks up the front steps, pausing outside of the door to take a deep breath. She doesnât bother knocking. Knocking suggests unfamiliarity. Instead, her hand curls around the doorknob, twisting it almost violently as she pushes the door open.
   âJay,â Yoongi yells as she walks into the foyer, kicking off her shoes as she closes the door behind her, taking care to lock it. She doesnât feel like getting interrupted. âI got something for ya!â
    Thereâs no response. Of course there isnât. Grumbling to herself, she walks to the right of the staircase through an archway. The TV is on, but she canât hear it. Low volume, he was expecting someone. Not her, obviously, he couldnât know she was coming. Which means he has one of his guys out doing something for him. She shudders at the thought, mentally preparing for the murder report on the morning news tomorrow.
    She stands at the end of the couch, biting her lip. Heâs sprawled across the suede, jeans low on his hips and no shirt. Tattoos decorate the expanse of his chest, the backs on his hand, down one of his sides. She can even see the stars on his neck, glowing in the light from the TV. He doesnât say anything to her though, too fixated on the screen to pay her any mind.
    Sighing, Yoongi opens the wallet and pulls out the mass of of bills. âOne hundred⌠two hundred⌠three hundredâŚâ she counts slowly. Once she reaches the first thousand, she drops that stack on the coffee table, careful not to knock over the can of Monster sitting next to the remote.
    By the time sheâs reached three thousand, Jayâs sitting up, staring at her intently, one corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk. She ignores him until sheâs counted all of the money, the notes in a pile on the coffee table with the wallet sitting on top of them. âWell?â She demands.
    Jay laughs, grabbing her hand and pulling her down onto his lap. âI donât remember giving you an assignment,â he murmurs, eyes tracing over her face carefully. His nose piercing twinkles in the light. Itâs pretty. Heâs pretty. He surrounds himself with pretty things. Maybe he thinks itâll cancel out the not so pretty things he does.
    âDidnât need one. Figured I hadnât done any work for you in a while and Iâd make up for it,â Yoongi explains with a shrug, smiling briefly. âI thought you might appreciate it.â
    âMhm.â Jay looks amused as he gently brushes her hair back away from her face. âYouâre never this sweet,â he comments, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
    She represses a full body shiver at the sensation of his lips against her cheek. Theyâre so soft. It doesnât fit him at all. âIâm always sweet,â she responds, forcing a breathy giggle. âIsnât that why you always call me Suga?â
    Jay just smiles, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek. "You're only Suga when you want something," he murmurs, eyes glinting dangerously. "What is it this time?"
    Yoongi bites back a swear. Heâs too good at reading people, always has been. âCanât I just be sweet?â She asks, returning his smiling with one of her own.
    âYou? Never.â Jay chuckles coldly. âTell me⌠now.â
    Oh god. She doesnât want to do this. She really doesnât want to do this. She takes a deep breath, not quite meeting Jay's eyes. "Today at work-"
    "By 'work,' you mean the job you don't need?" Jay questions, his voice flat.
    She chooses to ignore the interruption. "Today at work," she repeats, her voice a bit stronger,, "One of the guys in my department asked me for a date tomorrow night and I said-"
    "No."
    Yoongi blinks at the venom in his voice, feeling her heart drop at the building rage she can see flickering in Jay's eyes. "Actually, I said yes."
    "It wasnât a suggestion," Jay tells her lowly, hand slipping from her cheek to harshly grab her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You'll cancel tomorrow then you're going to resign from that job."
    It feels like she's been dunked under icy water, goosebumps rippling up her skin. "B- but," she tries to argue, but Jay cuts her off.
    "Three years ago, you came to me for your first favor. Do you remember what it was?"
    Heat replaces the ice, spreading across her cheeks like wild fire. God, as if she could forget. Her family was starting to struggle financially and her longtime crush had asked her to senior prom. âI⌠I needed a dress,â she mutters shamefully. A week of running drugs for him in exchange for the money for the perfect dress, not to mention enough left over to get her hair and makeup done.
    Jay nods approvingly, his smile cruel. "Do you remember what the next favor was?"
    Yoongi nods stiffly, which only makes Jay tsk at her.
    "Nuh-uh, Suga, use your words," he orders softly
    She doesnât want to say it. She swallows back the lump in her throat. It was so stupid. Finally, she manages to say, "Taking care of my parents debts."
    "Very good," Jay praises, letting go of her chin to caress her cheek. "I have it in writing of course, but what did you give me for that favor?"
    "Myself." It's barely a whisper, choked off and miserable.
    Jay hums. "Close. Yourself. Your parents thinking you're dead and the knowledge that if you ever tried to contact them, they'd be killed.
    "What I'm getting at is..." He takes one of her hands, lacing their fingers together. "You belong to me. You follow my rules, you do as I say. No amount of cash or valuables you pick from unsuspecting souls is going to change that." He tilts his head almost innocently, smiling sweetly. "Do you understand, Suga?"
    "Yes, Jay," she answers quietly.
    He presses another kiss to her cheek, letting go of her hand. "Go home and get some rest. I expect to see you tomorrow after you've resigned."
    Sheâs quick to jump off his lap, practically running back to the foyer to tug on her heels. Even then, she doesnât stop running, not until sheâs streets away, tears running down her cheeks and blisters forming on her feet. The rest of the walk just exudes misery: broken windows of shut down shops, homeless people huddled in alleyways trying to sleep, the heavy smell of alcohol permeating the air around the entrance to the apartments, whistles and jeers following her up the steps. Jay would never be caught dead in a place like this, which is why she stays here. At least the elevator is empty when she gets inside, jabbing the 7 button with more force than necessary.
     As soon as sheâs inside her apartment, Yoongi promptly throws herself on the couch and screams into a throw pillow. She hates this, she had been so naive to throw away her freedom to help her parents, to sell her soul to such an awful, manipulative asshole.
    When she finally stops screaming, when oxygen becomes a necessity, she hears knocking at her door. Groaning, she gets up to drag herself over to answer it. She hopes it's not the landlord. If she gets kicked out of here, she'll have nowhere to go, except back to Jay's house, to be under his roof and his complete control again.
    She'd rather die.
    Wrenching open the door, she glares at whoever is on the other side. Just so happens that the person on the other side is a young guy, maybe a year or two younger than her, with dyed hair and tan skin.
    Definitely not the landlord.
    "Who're you?" She demands, flipping her hair out of her eyes so she can get a better look at him. Tattered jeans, styled that way, not from too much wear. A plain black hoodie that hugs his frame and looks entirely too comfortable. Heâs not from here and he doesnât belong here.
    "Namjoon, Kim Namjoon," he answers quietly, glancing around her to look into her apartment. She shifts so he canât see behind her.  "I just moved in across the hall. Is everything okay?"
    Yoongi blinks at that, the question catching her off guard. He definitely doesnât belong here. People don't ask that, especially in this part of town. "Yeah, why?"
    "I-I heard screaming and was worried," he explains, chuckling nervously. "Decided to be a good neighbor and all that and come see if anything was wrong."
    Good neighbors donât exist. Yoongiâs lived here long enough to know that. But this guy⌠he seems so genuine, so simple. Except nothingâs simple in Yoongiâs life. âYeah, everythingâs chill,â she answers, faking a smile. âRough day at work and all that, was just trying to blow off some steam.â She runs a hand back through her hair and sighs. âIâll try to keep it down, alright?â
    She closes the door, barely catching Namjoonâs soft bid of âgoodnightâ before it shuts. Slumping against the wood, she lets out another sigh. If only things could be simple.
Trigger Warning: this story contains mentions of eating disorders
The ticking of the clock echoes around the room, reverberating inside his head. Empty water bottles litter the carpet, some crushed from being stepped on. The ones that are still full reside proudly on the nightstand above their fallen brethren, unknowing that they will meet the same fate. He rolls over, staring at the neon green numbers on his calendar clock.
He hasnât left his room in four days, hasnât touched his phone for the same amount of time. The door leading into the rest of the apartment has stayed resolutely locked. Not that anyone has come knocking anyway. Of course not.
Slowly, he shifts his body until he can set his bare feet on the floor, cringing as a plastic bottle crackles noisily under his heel. He kicks it away. It barely rolls, moving just enough to not be underfoot. Finally he stands, his body creaking like rusted gears in an abandoned machine. His soles drag along, warmed from the friction from the carpet, as he walks into his adjoined bathroom.
He keeps his eyes focused down on the tiles the entire time. He doesnât want to see what he looks like right now, doesnât want to see what he looks like ever, honestly. Bravado is easy to fake, so is confidence. Even if you fake it, though, it doesnât guarantee youâll make it. He definitely hasnât. Finally, he looks up.
Ugly. Thatâs the first word that crosses his mind when he sees his reflection. The light shines from how greasy his hair is from lack of washing. His sallow skin stretches gaunt-like across his face, emphasizing the jut of his cheekbones and the sharp edges of his jawline. Not in a handsome way, never like that. He looks like a corpse thatâs just started to decay.
His gaze drops down the length of the mirror. Grimacing, he watches his fingers trace the length of his protruding collarbones. Disgusting. His fingers fall down the flat plane of his chest to dance across his ribs. Grotesque. Thatâs what he thinks as he feels the sharp outline of each bone beneath his fingertips. Itâs like theyâre stuck in a skin too small, trying eagerly to burst through and escape.
He jerks his hand away, swallowing to combat the feeling of bile trying to crawl up his throat. Repulsive. Thatâs what he is, he canât even stand to look at himself, much less touch himself. How can he expect anyone else to? He hurries out of the bathroom, switching off the light before he closes the door. Before he can make it back to his bed, however, he hears knocking. He tries to ignore it, he really does. He slides onto his bed and burrows under the covers, doing his best to block out the noise.
âAhn Jaehyo, itâs been four days!â Dammit, of all people why does it have to be him? âI swear, I will break down this door if it means making sure youâre okay!â
Jaehyo sighs, pulling himself out of bed again, snatching a shirt off the floor and pulling it on. The fabric hangs off of him almost comically, the hem stopping halfway down his boxers. He shuffles to the door, hoping in the time it takes him to get there, heâll have given up. Taking a deep breath, he flings open the door.
No such luck. He sees his ex-boyfriendâs eyes, the skin beneath them colored a purplish black, taking in his appearance worriedly. He hates it, hates that heâs the reason the person he loves is so distressed and obviously not sleeping enough. He hates it. He hates dragging him down. Thatâs why he broke up with him when he was caught with his fingers down his throat in the restaurant bathroom on their last date.
âWhat do you want, Jiho?â Jaehyo asks wearily, dropping his own gaze so he doesnât have to see the look in Jihoâs eyes. âWe broke up, remember?â
âBy âbroke up,â you mean you got scared and pushed me away before I could even try to understand?â Jihoâs voice isnât angry. Thatâs even worse, Jaehyo could deal if he was angry. He canât take the sincerity and concern his voice is practically dripping with. âHyo, I want to help. I donât know how, we can figure it out together though. I just want to help you be okay again.â
Okay⌠Jaehyo honestly canât remember if heâs ever actually been âokay.â He wonders what it would feel like to actually be able to eat without feeling disgusted with himself, without the violent churning of his stomach to expel whatever he consumes, if he even eats that day. He wonders if itâs even possible to look at himself and not want to shatter whatever surface heâs looking at. It seems like such a long shot, butâŚ
âI want to.â His voice wavers as he looks up at Jiho. It feels like his throat is trying to close up, like his body doesnât want him to confess to this. But he wants to, wants to scream it. The best he can manage though is whisper, â I wanna get better.â
   Jaehyo smirks to himself as he runs the tip of the eyeliner pencil through the flame of the shiny turquoise Zippo his boyfriend got him. He prefers old-school eyeliner, pencil sharpeners and all. Oil sticks are too simple, liquidâs messy, and gel just doesnât do anything for him. The fire, letting it cool, the slight heat against his eyelid as he begins to apply itâŚ. he finds it oddly satisfying.
   Once he finishes, he wastes no time batting his eyelashes. His eyeliner is flawless, framing his beautiful eyes perfectly. Heâs so gorgeous. He bites his lip and winks at his reflection. He laughs before swiping a bit of cherry lip gloss across his lips. Jiho better fucking appreciate this. He knows his boyfriend, knows he likes his lips all red and shiny (preferably from having his dick between them). If the makeup isnât good enough for him, he can just get Jaehyo on his knees after heâs done performing.
   He ignores the ringing of his cell in favor of snatching Jiho's favorite beanie (the one with the skull with the heart eyes) from the post of the bed frame. Carefully, he pulls it on, appreciating the way it covers his roots. He really needs to dye his hair again. His phone stops for a moment and he takes the moment of silence to brush his long, bleach blond locks back from his face.
   With a roll of his eyes, he answers his phone as it starts again. âHello?â
   âWhere the fuck are you?â Jiho demands in lieu of a greeting, âShow starts in like ten minutes.â
   âYes, and they always put all the shitty newbies first.â Jaehyo answers. He picks up his lighter, the black âZâ on it glinting as he slides it into the pocket of his leather pants. âYouâre out of that league, babe, I can afford to be late.â
   Jiho mutters something under his breath, probably cursing Jaehyo for even implying he used to be a shitty rapper. Jaehyo doesnât know, heâs not listening. Heâs too busy pulling on his boots, just muttering little âuh-huhâs and âsure, babeâs to keep Jiho satisfied. It wouldnât be his first time faking. Not that Jiho needs to know.
   "Calm your dick, I'll be there by intermission, alright?" Jaehyo finally cuts him off as he slides on his ring, appreciating the way the sapphire shines, complimenting the matte color of his black nails. He admires his reflection: tight pants; fishnet shirt; studded belt, wristbands, and choker; blond hair beneath a beanie; and, of course, his perfect eyeliner and glossy lips. God, he's so fucking gorgeous, Jiho is so lucky. "Love you, bitch."
   "Uh-huh, love you too," Jiho replies before hanging up.
   His boots crunch against the gravel as he weaves through the cars parked haphazardly in the small lot. Broken bottles and cigarette butts litter the ground. Wrong side of the tracks, Jiho had told him with a grin the first time he brought him out here. Jaehyo makes it to the door of the building. The graffiti on the boarded up windows really adds character, he thinks as he knocks out a familiar rhythm against the metal.
   It only takes a moment before Jihoon's opening the door for him, his face uncharacteristically irritated. "He's been bitching about you not being here," he complains as he steps back to let Jaehyo inside. Jaehyo simply shrugs, tossing Jihoon a flirty wink in place of a proper apology before venturing further into the smoky room.
   He smirks to himself as he catches sight of Tempo over in the corner, tangled in a lip-lock with his boyfriend Jiyong. He passes by them without a word, knowing Jiyong will come to say hey later. Tempoâs in the second half of the show as well. He weaves around a large table of giggling girls, who are busy fawning over some of the newbies that he hasnât bothered learning the names of  and probably wonât, to be honest.
   He gets to his usually table, plucking off the simple RESERVED sign and setting it off to the side. His prize is standing on the low stage with his back to him, immersed in conversation with Tablo, Jint, and Jay.  Jaehyo licks his lips before letting out a sharp, piercing whistle. He smirks as he watches Jiho go completely rigid. He hates that sound, hates it with a fucking burning passion and Jaehyo knows it. He swings around, glowering as his gaze locks onto Jaehyo.
   Heat spikes through Jaehyo's entire body and snatches the air from his lungs. God, he loves being pinned down by that stare. His cock throbs in his pants and he's completely shameless as he runs his hand over the outline of it, completely unfazed by the amount of people around, and bites his lip. Jihoâs eyes narrow and Jaehyo just laughs, blowing him a kiss as he finally takes his seat.
   The group onstage finally slip behind the curtain after a few more minutes discussing whatever the fuck they were talking about. Jay grabs Jiho's wrist to lead him through the gap in the fabric. Jaehyo frowns. He doesn't like people touching his boyfriend. Especially not Jay.
   "You don't look happy." The words drift by him on wisps of smoke. He turns, unsurprised to see Jiyong settling into the other chair at the table.
   Jaehyo scowls. "I'm not. Jay's touching my man." He reaches out for the joint Jiyong has between his slender fingers, glancing briefly at the other. "Why is your face all sparkly?"
   Jiyong laughs as he passes the blunt, the fingers of his free hand running back through his blood red hair. "Just came over from Chaerin's birthday party," he says as if that explains everything (and it does). "We're heading back over as soon as the show's done. You and Nacseo should tag along."
   Jaehyo sniggers, the sound laced with smoke. "Don't let him hear you call him that."
   "Hey, I'm allowed to call him that," Jiyong grins, "I was around when that little shit was first calling himself that. Tempo and I practically raised him since he came here.â
   Nacseo had been Jiho's first stage name, back when first started at this club, a few years before he met Jaehyo. He had swapped over to using Zico when he finally got moved to the second half of the show. Something about rebirth and moving forward, possibly something about artistic license. Jaehyo doesnât remember, he had been stoned out of his fucking mind.
   âNah, weâre probably just going to go back to our place once weâre done here,â Jaehyo tells him, taking one last hit before passing the joint back over. âTell Chae we said happy birthday, though.â
   Jiyong doesnât get to respond again. The overhead lights go out, leaving the stage illuminated. Jaehyo grins as he leans forward as a rhythm heâs only half-heard muffled through walls blares through the speakers, the bass pumping through his entire body. Distantly, he hears some of the others in the building cheering, but he canât focus on them. Not when Jihoâs on that stage, demanding everyoneâs attention with just his very presence. No, not Jiho...
   âZee-ah-co,â Jaehyo breathes out as Jiho spits it into the mic.
Jaehyo likes the way Jiho kisses him. All the ways Jiho kisses him actually. The sleepy press of their lips when they first wake up, between his half-hearted complaints about morning breath and Jiho's chuckling about how he doesnât care; the quick, hurried pecks when theyâre rushing out the door to get to their classes on time; and the soft, gentle string of goodnight kisses.
But thereâs more than just that.
Thereâs drunken kisses, sloppy and uncoordinated, that make him smile when Jiho starts singing in English, his words half-slurred, about how his lips taste like sangria. The obnoxious, just for show kisses, accompanied by a loud âmwah,â just to get on Kyungâs nerves when he complains about being single. The shy, chaste kisses when Jiho pulls away blushing and grinning like an idiot, despite the fact that theyâve been together for almost two years.
But then thereâs the moments Jiho holds him together during his attacks, placing soft kisses against his temple as Jaehyo exhales brokenly against his shoulder. Or when Jihoâs angry, seething and raging against whichever injustice has managed to flip his switch and Jaehyo presses kisses against the line of his jaw, stubble occasionally pricking at his lips, to try to ground him and bring him back. Or after a fight, when their kisses heal the burns their words left on  their lips.
Perhaps Jaehyoâs favorite way though is when he knows Jihoâs kisses mean more, when heâs pressed back against a wall, the couch, their mattress and Jiho canât keep his hands to himself or above his clothes. Out on the dance floor at the club, filthy promises whispered as Jiho kisses that one spot behind his ear that always makes him whine. Beneath the spray of the shower, their bodies slick as Jiho presses against him, his kisses fervent, hot, and needy, lips trailing down his jaw, his neck, his chest, his absâŚ
Do they fuck or make love? Depends on the day of the week, how drunk they are, and which way the wind is blowing.
Lights on or off? Definitely on. Zico wants to see that pretty face
Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? Jaehyo
Who comes first? Jaehyo
Who is better at oral and who prefers it? Zicoâs better at it have you seen those fucking lips? And he absolutely loves being on his knees for his boyfriend.
Who is more submissive? Usually Jaehyo, but Zico has his moments of letting Jaehyo take control.
Who usually initiates things? Zico
Who is more sensitive? Surprisingly Zico and Jaehyo handles it well. Then later pokes fun at him just so he can see that pretty shade of pink Zico turns when he tells him to shut up
Jaehyoâs eyelids fluttered from the weight of his own exhaustion as he stared at his laptop screen. He still had three pages left to write for this fucking paper and it was already four in the morning. He would have had it completed weeks ago, if it werenât for his boyfriend.
Jiho was a complete sweetheart, he really was, but he thrived on attention, craved it like a fucking addict. It was hard to get anything done when Jiho was constantly dragging him to his bandâs gigs or out to one of Yukwonâs insane house parties that hosted all of Jihoâs favorite vices (speaking of which, he and Jiho still owed Yukwon new sheets). If they didnât go out, Jiho stayed latched to his side, pressing kisses to his jaw and whispering little adoring words into his ear. It was nice, for the most part, but some days, Jaehyo really didnât need the distractions.
Jaehyo swore under his breath as he heard the sound of the front door opening. He closed his eyes briefly, silently hoping his boyfriend would just tromp off to bed and fall asleep. Barely a moment later, however, Jiho was draped over him, the scent of weed and alcohol embedded in his fucking skin.
"Babe~" Jiho murmured into the crook of his neck, fingers playing with the hole in Jaehyo's worn tank top, "Come to bed with me."
Jaehyo let a out a controlled sigh, attempting to keep his annoyance in check. "Babe, I have to finish this paper. It's due in a few hours."
Jiho made a soft whining sound against his skin."But, babe, I wanna snuggle."
"But, babe, I have to finish this paper."
"But, baaabe, I wanna snuggle."
Jaehyo's hands slammed against the tabletop, startling Jiho off his shoulder. He swiveled around in his chair to fix his boyfriend with a harsh glare, taking a small amount of pleasure in the way Jiho's kohl-rimmed eyes widened.
"Jiho, I have to have a completed essay submitted to my professor by nine. Otherwise I'll fail the course," Jaehyo gritted out, "Stop being such a fucking attention whore and be patient."
He spun back around to face his laptop, hands immediately falling to the keys. For almost half an hour, the only sound was the steady click-clack of typing. He was almost finished, with only a conclusion paragraph left, when he felt Jiho lean over him again, chin on his shoulder.
"I still wanna snuggle," he mumbled sulkily and Jaehyo can just imagine the pout on his lips.
Jaehyo smiled as he continued typing. It wasn't until his essay was safely submitted in the drop box (and emailed to his professor for good measure), that he finally looked at Jiho, was who was almost asleep.
"Babe," Jaehyo whispered as he ran his fingers through Jiho's messy hair. Jiho hummed, blinking slowly as his boyfriend's voice reached him. "You still wanna snuggle?"
Jiho nodded sleepily. "Please."
They made it back to their room, where Jaehyo had to help Jiho out of his combat boots and ripped jeans before they could crawl beneath the covers. Jiho immediately fitted himself against Jaehyo, head against his shoulder, one leg slotted between his boyfriend's own.
"I'm sorry I called you an attention whore," Jaehyo murmured as he kissed the side of Jiho's head.
"I am though," Jiho mumbled against his neck, drawing a soft chuckle from Jaehyo.
"You are," Jaehyo agreed, "You're also exasperating as fuck." He paused for a moment. "You're cute though."
The sun has almost completely dipped below the horizon, casting a bronzish glow over everything. Itâs not quite light, itâs not quite dark, itâs fleeting, and itâs Jihoâs favorite time of day. Orange fills the sky, streaked by bits of pink and yellow and sometimes even lavender. If he tilts his head back a bit further, heâll see the color of the night already forming, pin-pricked by tiny stars. Light versus the dark, one cannot exist without the other.
He and Jaehyo are like that.
Jaehyo would be the day: bright, shining, warm, adored by everyone. Jihoâs like the night: cold, dark, and the only light is faint and hard to see. Jaehyoâs smile is radiant as the sun. Jihoâs is softer, like the light the moon gives off, and not nearly as noticeable.
âItâs just as beautiful though,â Jaehyo murmurs as he runs his fingers through Jihoâs bleached hair.
Shit. Heâs been talking out loud this whole time, rambling nonsense with his head resting on the pillow of his boyfriendâs lap.
And Jaehyo had  listened.
He sits straight up, eyes wide as he stares at the older man, trying to come up with something, a joke, something witty, something to take away from the seriousness of everything he just said, something to make him not seem like a sappy fool. He doesnât get the chance though before Jaehyoâs lips are pressing against his own, slender hands pulling him closer.
Jaehyoâs his sun. It just never occurred to him that he might also be Jaehyoâs moon and stars.
Jaehyo sighed as he walked into their apartment, eyes immediately focusing on the extravagant arrangement of roses sitting prettily on the coffee table. His sigh quickly became a groan as he noticed the giant heart-shaped box sitting next to it. It wasnât Valentineâs Day. It wasnât their anniversary. Hell, it wasnât even his birthday! It was Tuesday, he had just gotten back from his last class of the day (senior year was hell) and he just wanted to sleep.
He retrieved his phone from his pocket, mumbling nonsensically under his breath as he listened to the ringing, waiting for his darling boyfriend to pick up.
âHi, hyung!â Jiho answered cheerfully. Jaehyo swore under his breath, making a mental note to hide all forms of âsweetâ from his lover, lest the man just become pure sugar. âDid you get the flowers I left for you?â
Jaehyo closed his eyes. âYes, babe. I also got the chocolates you left with them.â
Jiho had the fucking audacity to giggle at that. Not chuckle. Giggle like a fucking school-girl whose confession was accepted. Â âDid you like them?â
âHonestly? Not really.â He slouched back against the door, his eyes falling shut as he hears the little disappointed noise his boyfriend makes. âJiho, babe, I love you, and I appreciate that you like getting me gifts. I just⌠I donât need all these grand gestures all the time. To hell with the flowers, the candy, the oversized teddy bears, Iâd rather come home and see you waiting for me with takeout and a stupid movie instead.â
Silence flooded the line and, for a moment, Jaehyo wondered if he had been too harsh, if he had been misunderstood. The very next second, however, Jihoâs voice chimed through the line, as cheerful as ever. âSo, do you want pizza or Chinese tonight?â
Jaehyo laughed, unable to stop the smile stretching across his lips. âMake it pizza, babe.â
Everything is fleeting, a mere lick of flame atop a candle in the middle of the harshest storm, barely hanging on and so, so easy to snuff out.
The first time Jaehyo meets Jiho, he thinks heâs the human embodiment of a raging inferno. Dark eyes (rimmed thick with kohl) smolder at him as their owner makes his way across the dance floor. The touch of his hands on Jaehyoâs hips burns through his layers of clothes. When they make it out of the club, out onto the cracked concrete street, and Jiho pushes him against the rough brick of the wall to kiss him, Jaehyo can practically feel the flames licking at his own lips.
Thatâs what their love was like: a forest fire ravaging everything in its path only to leave destruction in its wake. Beautiful, extravagant, deadly, dangerous (words Jaehyo would also use to describe Jiho on a number of occasions) and it was a complete whirlwind.
Jaehyo completely forgot how fragile it all was.
He didnât listen to the police talk, didnât listen to them describe the shattered glass on the road, or anything else. His eyes flitted between Jiho who, despite the lacerations on his face, he couldnât drink in enough of, and the peaks and valleys on the monitor, his heart breaking as he watched the beats of his boyfriendâs heart steadily drop. A shaky breath escaped him as he leaned forward to press a final kiss to Jihoâs forehead. Tears dripped down his cheeks and the heat reminded him of how fiery Jiho had been and how easily that fire had been snuffed out.
The haunting beep of a flat-line echoed through the hospital room.