fresh to death

[silkandcinnamon]

give me strength..I live for this level of pettiness

[lonniiii-deactivated20170829]

you single cuz you ugly

[houndsoflovemp3-blog1]

i don’t know shit about dick im a mindless consumer if you put a beverage in front of me that’s green i will drink it and i will be like wow i feel so energized and filled with health and youthful vigor. ill drink green corn syrup n be like oh wow. the anti oxidants

[khanos-deactivated20170219]

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

me: doc i’m sick doctor *handing me skateboard*: prove it 

[the-kellin-under-the-vic]

omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

[joleebindo-blog]

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

[leaveit-toweaver-deactivated201]

Babies defeat man. Women inherits the earth.

[illumahottie]

Someone please call @911

[babycrawlingveryfast-deactivate]

straight men repress their feelings so severely with their friends and family, and then they come across a girl (whos been socialized to be Empathetic and Nurturing) and they find that they can tell this girl about their Feelings ! everythings great she’s The One ! in reality they just have a normal human bond but actually connecting with anyone is so foreign to men and their emotionally barren male relationships that it seems like something great and wonderful. so now girl is put on a pedestal that she’ll eventually fall from bc she’s human and not just a Male Feelings Receptacle and everyone loses all bc fathers refuse to cry in front of their sons

[cnxbdjshehdhdhdh-deactivated201]

teacher: any questions, class?

me: ya what the fuck

[meanplastic]

[hoexygen]

me: *likes a person* person: *likes me back* me: o shit….sorry…..this is all …too much…gtg

[deatofabachelor]

what the fuck is even going on anymore

[pilesofgryles]

whenever i hit the clubs bouncers be like “I.D. please”

no problem

[dutchstore]

[coolben94]

Weed is a gateway drug dumbass

weeds a gateway to twelve glazed donuts and nothing more 

[snorlaxatives]

people who grew up like in the 1960s or some shit: one of my fondest childhood memories is going to the lake and skipping rocks :) me: one of my fondest childhood memories is making 8 random sims and slowly killing them off one by one until a sole victor remained