Ayo Zo

Favorite Memories on a Pedestal

[f2e7e5]

[ayozo159]

It's December 2022, I haven't used Tumblr in years but I just wanted to post that I'll be coming back

[ayozo159]

Drained, tired, unenthusiastic, exhausted, depleted, consumed, deprived, expended, taxed and empty

[ayozo159]

HappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypillHappypillhappypillhappypill

[ayozo159]

I wish i was okay

[ayozo159]

AHENDHDHEBDBAGRHDHDHDBBDNDNDNDNCNCNCNCNSKSKSKOSODOFODKENEJORTOPYPLAKMANDID IK FNEINDKSNSISKDJND CNCJDJCNCIFICIFICKCJFKFOEOOWOWPRPRPRPRPRODOODIDKDLSLSMFNKCXIIQKNFISNW ZOAKNEJEUCNEISOSHEISOIDNFIW IS DNCIEK RUUENEIEIICJENAJWOPWPFNEIQOISHXNSIAISICKAOZKXKKSOOXPPXLWOZJSJAILDNDIEIDMD

[ayozo159]

Not as sad but just as lonely

[ayozo159]

still hurting but getting better

//never going back to that state ever again//

[ayozo159]

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

But im too weak to do anything

[ayozo159]

I'm so miserable I just want to get better already. No matter how positive I think, how many daily affirmations I tell myself, how many times I speak only good things about myself. I still feel like dying. Not being able to control my emotions like this is so fucking annoying, my heart hurts so heavily. I've never felt so depressed in my life. This is the worst feeling I've ever had to feel and every night I contemplate why I don't do the things I do to myself in my head. I'm so fucking broken and I'm trying so hard to fix myself, to work on myself, to move on but my heart is just so shattered. Why do I feel like this. I just want to die now.

[ayozo159]

October 6th 2019

Grateful because I was actually happy with you guys. I felt happy again in these hours and I missed you guys so bad. We all haven't hung out together like this since I left for the PH last year. But I'm glad we did.

[ayozo159]

no motivation to move, to work, to push, to edit, to film, to dance, to live.

I don't have any motivation to do anything anymore.

I have no one to blame but myself.

I made the wrong choice to trust you and here I am.

Slowly.

Surely.

Dying.

[ayozo159]

Rllywishiwasdeadtbh

[zoecas159]

August 14, 2019

Everything is better now, still need some time but I'm finally on my way to freedom

[ayozo159]

8-1/8-7/2019

Went Cold Turkey. The first week will probably be the hardest. Haven't been sleeping. I have no peace in my head and my heart. Never felt so weak. Never felt so lost. Haven't found myself yet.

Trying to take care of myself. Never done it before. Trying to be happy but it's hard. Self - Care is difficult when you've never really cared for yourself. I'm trying.

I know I'm on the right path though. I feel myself hurting but I also feel myself growing. It hurts so much but I know it's pain I have to feel. I'm trying to take care of myself. 1 week since I last smoked, been on social media, and cut off everything. Learning to be alone. Treated myself this week. God opened my eyes to new paths leading to a better future. Found myself a mentor and I'm not going to let this stagnancy continue.

In the end, I hope I find myself better. God's doing His thing in my life. This too shall pass. Don't know how long this will take but I find comfort in the fact that it's not my timing. It's His timing.

I'm not okay but I hope I will be soon.

I miss my friends but this isolation helps.

I'll be back when I'm better.

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I N S A N E

[ayozo159]

Social Media is killing my creativity.