"Even The Devil Wept"
-AYSE BUNTION
I begged you to stay and my demons to go.
Your mind was made up,
So there's nothing else that I could show to deter you from waking out of the door.
My heart drug across the floor,
crawling to your feet as it was made to bleed from the splinters in the hardwood links.
It bled, and it bled,
and it bled.
It cried for you as you turned around and left.
Once you said you were through and walked away from me,
my heart took itself by the seems and pulled itself apart,
the broken and torn pieces laying in front of you,
its every beat at your mercy.
Please don't go.
I fell down to my knees and begged you not to leave.
I promised you that I would do whatever it took,
I would be better in every way that I know I faltered in,
just to make things better,
just for you to stay and try this one last time.
My soul, in agony, pounded onto itself,
fist into its chest,
hard enough for it to crack.
It pushed itself through the breaks and clawed its way through the tight spaces,
shattering itself in the process
because it was too vast to just slide through.
It broke itself just to make its way to you
and show you that it is entirely built of you.
Maybe then, it thought you'd stay
if you saw just how much of me that you were,
and just how much I loved you and was engrained with the pieces of you
that, to me, you had gave.
Maybe I thought if you had seen how much of a part that you were of me,
and that you made me complete quite literally,
you would stay today.
But you still had your mind set,
and you were going to leave.
As soon as the blood ran from my chest into my hands
and poured onto the floor
while my heart and soul leapt from my body to make their way back to you,
I realized I meant nothing to myself because I left myself instantly
for you.
I realized whenever you didn't take them into your arms after seeing the scars
that were cut into my heart and soul in the mere thought of you leaving,
and how those things were completely and utterly yours,
broken and lost, waiting for you to rescue them,
that you were still going to go no matter how badly my being ripped itself apart
and broke in half.
That's the moment that my spirit took a knife to its own throat
and slit it as it watched the warm and vibrant life ooze out
as it died in my arms
right before your eyes.
I cried for you because I had not an idea of what to do.
I asked you to please take my heart, soul, and spirit with you, too,
and save them from this emptiness and this shell that I've become without you.
But you left my heart there on the floor as it bled out at your feet,
pulling itself even further apart
by the dangling strings it left trying while dilapidating itself to show you
how it beats for you.
You left my soul in the door way while it punched a hole through itself
and destroyed all of the shards that were left hanging there,
after it had broken itself and now is shattered completely since the pieces of the aftermath
of the destruction all fell away,
all because it was trying to make you see just how you make it complete.
You left my soul with an open wound in its throat,
having no way to cry for you any longer,
because the life ran out of its lungs the second it opened up
and was let down by its lifeline,
killing itself just because you didn't want to save it from the darkness one last time.
I destroyed myself for you,
just to show you all that you meant to me,
and you left me there,
cut open and bleeding.
I begged for you to stay and heal me,
tears pouring from my eyes as my entirety ripped, tore, broke, and shattered
right in front of you,
without a care in the world from you.
I pleaded for you to not walk away and leave,
and asked you not to go with open wounds in my heart and soul.
My spirit crushed whenever you walked out of the door.
I was left there to die once more.
Still, I cried for you,
telling my demons to go so you could stay.
It was so cold whenever I closed my eyes and said goodbye to myself.
It must have been so miserable and agonizing whenever I called out for you -
because even the Devil wept
whenever I died, as my tears slipped,
and his mind slept, at ease
of what he had done to me.
