Levi’s Choice Isn’t An Easy One
I know this is a long post and I wanted to put it under a “Read More” but that isn’t working for whatever reason -__-
I know I mentioned that ACWNR seemed to be coming full circle in the recent chapter, but there is something in particular that I wanted to talk about, and that is what Levi may be feeling by the end of chapter 83 because of his past. In no way am I stating that Levi will save any certain character with the serum at any point in this post. That isn’t what this post is about. I just want to go over why the decision may not be as simple as some people believe it should be.
The look in Levi’s eyes here:
The way Levi looks at Mikasa in this panel is heartbreaking for me because I honestly believe that in this moment, Levi is getting a glimpse at the pain and desperation in her heart. The same pain and desperation he felt in his heart when he watched his closest friends die because he couldn’t get to them in time.
Levi knows exactly how Mikasa feels in this moment and he most likely fully understands why she would be willing to attack him for the sake of having a chance at saving her friend. Her actions at this point are out of desperation and a plethora of emotions. Hurt, shock, and an extreme need to protect the only family she has left. Much like how Levi felt… Only in Levi’s case; he was already too late to save his family.
Knowing that he was too late still didn’t stop him from behaving violently though, and it didn’t stop him from confronting the one he felt was responsible for the death of his family. The person he believed to be the reason for their demise.
Much like how Eren and Mikasa react to Levi’s stance on not continuing through with saving Armin. Because to them, it feels like a betrayal. Which I imagine, is a lot like how Levi felt back when Isabel and Farlan died. Played for the sake of a game they had no idea they were even pawns in, and it was a game they had no chance of winning from the get go. It obviously hurt Levi deeply, and now he is witnessing the kids in his squad experience that same feeling towards him.
I know everyone wants to hate on Levi right now, but imagine the position this man is in. Being put on the spot to either save the man who he honestly believes is humanity’s only chance at victory because he was proven to be willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of freedom; himself included.
Or the genius kid in his squad with a family that loves him just as deeply as he loved his friends. Friends that he most likely - to this day - still wishes he could have saved.
Levi is in a very tough spot and this choice will not be an easy one for him. Especially after seeing the pain his choice could cause and the desperation he once felt himself on the face of someone else. No one knows who he will choose, but neither choice will be the right one and I think Levi know’s this.
After all this time, he will finally have to make a very important decision and accept the fact that no matter what, some small part of him will always regret his choice. He will carry that guilt and the weight of that person’s life with him for the rest of his days.
He might also have to deal with his squad, kids he smiled at because they stood by him, despising him forever because of his decision. Or he might have to deal with humanity’s damnation because he let the one man willing to carve a path to victory in blood and climb a mountain of corpses towards freedom die in order to give his dear subordinates the option he never had.
This is the face of a man who knows that he will feel guilty no matter who he chooses. Because in the end, he is keenly aware of the pain his subordinates feel, and he is also aware of the importance Erwin holds as a Commander and as his friend.
No matter who he chooses; he isn’t entirely wrong, but he isn’t entirely right either, and that is a very shitty place to be in.
theartofmadeline
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