aze

anything can be gay sex if you believe in yourself and the power of mechanical engineering

[azeami]

god okay i’ve been thinking abt this for a While but i read a fic recently that bothered me so much i just have to yell into the void for a bit. I’m struggling with articulating my thoughts so this is gonna be Very rambly.

so in so many modern day AUs, characters that are non-human but still FULLY SENTIENT often get turned into like. pets and stuff. a robot buddy becomes a cat, an alien becomes a dog, a talking animal becomes just a normal version of whatever animal they were. and it’s like. those are PEOPLE. that’s a fully sentient goddamn person. like, I get it, it’s cute, and a lot of the fanart, fanfic etc I see of this stuff is genuinely super well made and interesting and I don’t wanna like, cast aspersions on anyone who does this. but it bothers me. this invisible threshold of “human looking” you have to pass to be considered a person. you wouldn’t write a modern AU where spock is kirks normal non-sentient pet cat, not without it being a weird crack-fic, but I’ve seen so much art and fic of Chewbacca being Han Solos dog like he’s not a full guy. the man is forklift certified goddamnit. but he looks inhuman and speaks a different language and so he can’t pass the Threshold. and the same thing goes doubly for droids/robots of different kinds. the more inhuman a robot looks, the more likely they become a pet in a modern au, regardless of level of sentience. and especially if a character is a talking animal, they get the “animal treatment” in AUs and idk. it feels. Bad. especially bc so much fanfic is about a ragtag team of outcasts coming together to find home and family in each other. but I guess their robot friend struggling against the dehumanizing treatment they get from the society around them doesn’t count haha. like, here’s these sad outcasts becoming family, and also their fucking??? dog?? who I guess isn’t a person anymore and never was bc they’re just a pet to be owned now. and GOD I just want to cry I guess bc especially when you relate a lot to non-human characters and their struggles with being seen as a person, which is often a serious and core part of their character arc, seeing them then get fully erased from the narrative and turned into just a cute lil kitty hurts. and idk, I just think there’s a lot to be examined here abt fandoms treatment of non-human characters in general and the idea of personhood and I think it’s something that should be talked about I guess. idk

[azeami]

bringing this back actually bc now that dungeon meshi is The Big Thing, i am seeing people do this to izutsumi. Thats a whole teenage girl. Why is she just. a regular cat in so many modern AUs. hello. what.

[azeami]

god okay i’ve been thinking abt this for a While but i read a fic recently that bothered me so much i just have to yell into the void for a bit. I’m struggling with articulating my thoughts so this is gonna be Very rambly.

so in so many modern day AUs, characters that are non-human but still FULLY SENTIENT often get turned into like. pets and stuff. a robot buddy becomes a cat, an alien becomes a dog, a talking animal becomes just a normal version of whatever animal they were. and it’s like. those are PEOPLE. that’s a fully sentient goddamn person. like, I get it, it’s cute, and a lot of the fanart, fanfic etc I see of this stuff is genuinely super well made and interesting and I don’t wanna like, cast aspersions on anyone who does this. but it bothers me. this invisible threshold of “human looking” you have to pass to be considered a person. you wouldn’t write a modern AU where spock is kirks normal non-sentient pet cat, not without it being a weird crack-fic, but I’ve seen so much art and fic of Chewbacca being Han Solos dog like he’s not a full guy. the man is forklift certified goddamnit. but he looks inhuman and speaks a different language and so he can’t pass the Threshold. and the same thing goes doubly for droids/robots of different kinds. the more inhuman a robot looks, the more likely they become a pet in a modern au, regardless of level of sentience. and especially if a character is a talking animal, they get the “animal treatment” in AUs and idk. it feels. Bad. especially bc so much fanfic is about a ragtag team of outcasts coming together to find home and family in each other. but I guess their robot friend struggling against the dehumanizing treatment they get from the society around them doesn’t count haha. like, here’s these sad outcasts becoming family, and also their fucking??? dog?? who I guess isn’t a person anymore and never was bc they’re just a pet to be owned now. and GOD I just want to cry I guess bc especially when you relate a lot to non-human characters and their struggles with being seen as a person, which is often a serious and core part of their character arc, seeing them then get fully erased from the narrative and turned into just a cute lil kitty hurts. and idk, I just think there’s a lot to be examined here abt fandoms treatment of non-human characters in general and the idea of personhood and I think it’s something that should be talked about I guess. idk

[annabelle--cane]

I think it should be an ongoing joke that jon just drops absurd and outlandish but entirely true pieces of information about his past in the middle of normal conversations and then moves on like it’s nothing. like the carousel story was barely the tip of the iceberg. tim says something about a rock climbing trip he just went on and jon mentions that he was on track to go to the olympics for gymnastics in 2004 before he broke his leg in an accident and had to quit. martin tries to organize an archive staff outing and jon says he lost his taste for nightclubs after the one he worked the bar of in university got busted for money laundering. melanie once tries to call bullshit when he says he used to be in a biker gang but he calmly takes out his phone and produces a photo of himself, sweater vest, glasses, polished oxfords and all, seated atop a motorcycle next to several burly men in leather. he is never questioned again.

[azeami]

my boy..... jorjudge..........

[clown-cars-r-us]

The Magnus Archives as Unraveled screencaps

[azeami]

bad ms paint doodle. s5 trailer is... oof

[luftballons99]

i have no excuse

[eosinophiliac]

When people get used to Nightmare Apocalypse, this is the kinda meme event shit they’ll be doing.

[chickpeamcb]

a summary of MAG 102, from this excellent tweet

[xiaodanart]

jonathan sims, everyone.

[azeami]

that’s his rib, basira

[azeami]

snufkin without his big ol’ coat and hat 

a somewhat cleaned up version of a messy doodle from yesterday

[azeami]

messy snuf doodles
 nasty crime boy has come to town
 (click for better quality)

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

post-hephaestus hera

concept: instead of just linking her up to a bunch of cameras around the house or w/e, someone has the bright idea to buy a drone and a roomba and some wireless speakers and let her move around in those

she is always in a prime “looks into the camera like i’m on the office” location

DJ Roomba in the hooooouuse

quite often knocks shit over like a cat and pretends it was accidental

sometimes makes like she’s filming a home video and gets really close to everyone’s faces 

“what are you doing today doug”

“i’m.. making mac and cheese,, hera not so clOSE youre gonna get burned or OW MY NOSE YOU DICK”

hera: *skitters across the floor* minkowski: OH JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT YOU WERE A RAT

she hates having to physically move between rooms bc it removes a lot of the element of surprise and its so slow 

but sometimes she’ll suddenly take the drone/roomba online and say something and doug always screams

hera was the stabby we needed all along…

hera: doug i have an idea 

doug: shoot

hera: tape a knife to me

doug: yES

-ten minutes later-

renée standing on the couch: WHY

doug, ankle bleeding: FOR SCIENCE

doug takes her on expeditions to the park and holds a remote control that he pretends works

once there was a break-in at the apartment and hera scared them away by pretending to be a self-destruct countdown and when she’s lonely it makes her laugh

no longer has the power to make doug’s showers cold but she DOES have the power to obnoxiously blast music at him whenever she wants, which can be just as effective

all of her appliances have been appropriately bedazzled by renée. doug tried but he ended up bedazzling himself and getting covered in glue

[azeami]

wolf 359 AU where everything is the same except Hera and Eiffel switch places

Sarcastic communications officer Hera who is extremely talented in multiple areas and is always salty about being assigned the job as a communications officer of all things and ending up on the bottom of the chain of command despite being overqualified for most of the possible jobs on board

She constantly complains about her talents being wasted

«Communications officer. Is that even a real thing? Are they fucking with me?? Seriously, I know more about technology and history than anyone on this station, I’m the best shuttle pilot they’ve ever seen, I can hack any computer in less than 30 seconds and I get assigned as a communications officer!?»

She thinks the other crew members are a pain in the ass, but has managed to strike up a friendship with the stations artificial intelligence, I-FEL

For the first few hundred days, Hera thought his name was spelled ‘Eiffel’

It was only once she saw his name written down she realized it was an abbreviation (at first she didn’t even realize who command was talking about. «I-FEL? What the fuck is that?» ‘«.. it’s me Hera» «What the entire fuck?!»)

She thinks its bullshit that he doesn’t have a proper name and decides that from now on his name is Eiffel. When the now newly dubbed Eiffel complains that «Eiffel sounds like a last name, I need a first name too if you’re gonna name me» Hera panics and blurts out Douglas, which Eiffel immediatly shortens to Doug, and thats that

Eiffel (I-FEL) is an absolute mess of an AI

He flat out REFUSES to say what his name stands for, and if asked he makes jokes about it being a callback to old-fashioned Apple products and claims it’s spelled as iFel, even though it’s clearly not

Eiffel has access to all knowledge ever know by man and more but he only cares about shitty pop-culture and memes

He uses a lot of slang, because he thinks the evolution of the human language is super cool and useful and thinks it’ll help him connect with the crew, but when it turns out most of them are dicks and dislike it, he continues with renewed vigour on his mission to piss them off

Minkowski and Hilbert don’t really like him. They think he’s unproffessional, unefficient and annoying. They’re probably right.

He’s lazy and stubborn, makes bad jokes and references and only ever listens to Hera

Like sure, he keeps all the systems running and makes sure everyone is safe and does what he’s supposed to if the situation is life-threatening, and his coding says he has to do what the crew asks, and he does, but only to a certain degree

He finds every possible looohole and workaround for commands given by Minkowski or Hilbert. If they want him to do something the have to be incredibly specific or he will do it wrong on purpose

«Turn on the lights.»

«Turn on the lights in this room.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me at a brightness that makes it possible to see.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me at a brightness that makes it possible to see, but not so bright that it blinds me.»

etc, etc

Minkowski needed 231 words to get him to close a door and Hilbert had to write a 15 page essay to get more power directed to his lab.

Meanwhile, he does whatever Hera wants, even with the vaguest instructions.

She loves to rub it in the others faces and takes full advantage of this, going so far as to have the station lights shut off whenever she leaves a room and turn on when she enters, giving her a sort of portable spotlight

If Minkowski or Hilbert need light they have to follow Hera wherever she goes cause you bet Eiffel always turns off the lights everywhere else in the station

He says it’s to conserve power, but they all know he’s being a little shit

Also, Eiffel is a conspiracy theorist and always rambling to Hera about how he thinks Hilbert is a crazy evil scientist who’s experimenting on them all

This turns out to have been his way of exploiting a loophole in the commands Hilbert has given him to keep quiet about his experiments and he’d been trying to warn Hera about the decima virus experiments and the doctors murder plans all along

(Although, he doesnt only theorize about Hilbert and most of his theories are off-the-wall crazy, so it isnt really a surprise that no-one takes them seriously. Which is good cause otherwise Hilbert would have tightened the restrictions on what he could say even more)

Hilbert is immensely annoyed by Eiffel and tries to mess with his code to make him ‘better’, but Hera is a lot better at tech stuff than him and Eiffel is always back up and running as usual with his personality restored within ten minutes

[hungwy]

Let dogs and cats sniff… Just let them fhcnking sniff… They love it