Blue Dreamer

Have u ever been blue?

[azul-melancolia]

There were so many ppl watching him play and he just kept looking me the whole time, even though i blew him kisses to distract him AAAWWWW omg he is so cute, ilovehim

[azul-melancolia]

Nobody talks about how sad its hate summer cause u dont have any friends to hang out w. Like, yeha i have two friends, but they've their own lives, so they cant hang out every day. Im rotting away at home doing nothing :[

[sarahs-commonplace-book]

"Do you get angry a lot?" I say. "I'm always angry." he says. Pause. "Usually, other things override it, but I'm always angry..."

Solitaire, Oseman 143

[impuls1vity-is-a-virtue]

“I don’t want people to be worried about me. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want people to try and understand why I’m the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet. I don’t want people to interfere. I don’t want people in my head, picking out this and that, permanently picking up the broken pieces of me.” - Solitaire, Alice Oseman

[justawriter2010]

I am a mix between Tori Springs and Michael Holden and i still don´t know how that is even possible

[azul-melancolia]

Dude, can u tell me already if u r into guys or not? Every time i make a joke about him being straight, he just laughs but doesnt say anything😭 Or when i call him a twink and then say: "im jk, ik u aint a twink," and he sends me a "how do they know" meme.

LIKE, BRU, TELL ME IF U R INTO MEN, DAMMIT (I'm not sure if I'm into him btw, Im not interested in finding out right now. Its only been two months since i broke up with my ex, and even though im already hung up on him, i aint wanna describe whether i like him or not rn)

[azul-melancolia]

im jk, im feeling cheerful today, ignore everything I've posted previously

[azul-melancolia]

Just when i thought someone saw me as a guy and not some weird tomboy. Haha, the comment about my deadname as a joke didnt make me laugh, it made me cry, so fck u. Damn, could he at least have some consideration? It just makes me think he doesnt see me as a guy n treats me like one because hes gotten used to it. i wanna kys (and light a cigarette before)

[azul-melancolia]

Maybe they told me what I DIDNT wann accept. Its too soon to know if I like him or not. I only broke up with my ex about a month ago💔 (yes, we r both over it, and he even likes a new girl and is looking for a partner. WE STILL GET ALONG, OKAY?) and damn, im not one of those guys who starts dating someone a month after breaking up. IDK

[azul-melancolia]

So, what the hell is a friend? What can be considered one? What does the term "friend" mean, and how exclusive is it? Some people consider friends those they've interacted with a couple of times and who were nice to them, while others dont consider someone a friend until they've had a psychological evaluation and really get to know them. Unfortunately, if i had to choose between those two options, i'd be the second. Its not that or dont trust people, its that idk what it means to have a friend and how close i've to be to call someone a friend. The Royal Spanish Academy (yes, my native language is Spanish) defines it as "a personal, pure, and selfless affection shared with another person, which is born and strengthened through interaction," but then i realize i've never had a true friend, something i ain't wanna admit. ALTHOUGH what the dictionary says often doesn't match what a person actually means. idk if imm explaining myself well. Do i have friends or are they just nice people?

[azul-melancolia]

Im a drummer, okay? I've been playing drums for about a year and I also do theater. In my music academy, u can only go for a maximum of 5 hours, and if u r enrolled in theater, u have to go for 4 of those hours. So i only have 1 hour to practice drums, and since i do musical theater, i have to practice my singing, and i havent been able to play drums in about 7 months 💔 im really sad, i miss playing :[

[azul-melancolia]

Its genuinely annoying, seriously. I've talked many times about how much it bothers me when people drink, and not only that, because idc what people do; what bothers me is when they text me or drink in front of me, imm genuinely afraid of that. he is drunk rn (i think so(?)) He's texting me rn but i have muted him and I dont plan on reading his messages until tomorrow tbh

[azul-melancolia]

I curse the moment i agreed to his deal, and now i cant smoke a cigarette. I want one, im nervous

[azul-melancolia]

Its obvious he doesnt know how to treat me when my blue is dark, but his bright purple, for some reason, always ends up calming that darkness and i end up becoming lighter; idk how he does that

[azul-melancolia]

He keeps trying to convince me that im cool, and at this point idk if he really means it or if hes just annoying me

[a--z--u--l]

Me gusta Tumblr. Es como un bar imaginario lleno de gente rota pero graciosa.

[azul-melancolia]

I SO want to go out, Idc who with, i just wanna enjoy my teenage years and stop wasting them. I'd love to go out, spend more time on the street than at home, go to every concert I can (and join every mosh pit), research hundreds of things, have a thousand hobbies, make friends and expand my social life, go to abandoned places, learn to ride a bike and take trips; go to the countryside, vlog my life, make tons of cosplays of everything I like, paint more, skate better, play volleyball (and improve my serves and sets), improve my drumming, be as weird as I want..

I HAVE A TON TO DO, i mean, im 15, i still have time to enjoy being a teenager, right?