OVERCOME .

you wear your scars like armour and wield your words like a blade. invisible defenses for invisible wounds - will your blood track like tears?

[azuredragoon-archive]

       ESTINIEN VARLINEAU as portrayed by ASTER ( they / he  / 25 ) of 

                         FINAL FANTASY XIV . mutuals only / private / independent .

.  .  .                                                                 carrd        ,        icon credit        .

[azuredragoon-archive]

i moved :) @azuredragoon

[azuredragoon-archive]

me logging in here every time i see estinien in ffxiv

hi

[unmeiha-arc]

@azuredragoon​  //  cont’d.

          ❛ Why do I … ? ❜

          In truth it isn’t something she’s thought much on; she never thought she needed to. The reasons always seemed so simple, so obvious. Yet now that she is asked to present them, the words die in her throat ere they can escape.

          ❛ For — ❜

          She was born with a weapon in hand, with righteousness and rebellion burning in her veins. She fought for her family, for her home, for king and country, for freedom. When she’d left Doma — abandoned it, abandoned them to the Empire’s mercy, frightened away like a child by visions of fire and ash — she’d left her reason to fight with it. The cost of running had been the family she’d left behind.  ( You could not save them. You would have only died with them. )  the cost of her complacency had been the family she’d found.  ( Yda, Papalymo, Thancred, Y’shtola… Minfilia. )  Debts that require more than she will ever possess and that she will no doubt spend the rest of here life trying to balance.

          ❛ For … ❜

          In hindsight, Koharu realizes it’s why she had fought with such reckless abandon through the Dragonsong War. That had cost her, too. And in turn, it was no doubt why she had denied any possible futures that lead to the dread wyrm’s triumph and yet one more precious loss.

          ❛ For those I have lost, that they might know some small measure of peace in knowing that their deaths will never have been in vain; for those who remain which I cannot — will not — afford to lose. For atonement, ❜     she admits alongside a short, humorless laugh and wry smile.     ❛ Though, I suppose… fighting for atonement — ‘tis something of an oxymoron, is it not? ❜

          She pauses a moment to collect her thoughts once more and unfolds her arms, resting one on the sword strapped to her hip before continuing:     ❛ For a day when I might know what it is like to set my weapons down. ❜     Even though she’s unsure if she would be able to when — if that time came.     ❛ In the end… my reasons are ultimately for myself, however much others may also gain some benefit from them. ❜

[azuredragoon-archive]

SOME QUIET SENSE OF PRIDE FILLS HIS CHEST , swelling his lungs & dispersing through the ambiance that surrounds them . metal plates scrape against one another with his every movement . he casts his gaze downward unto her own , a rare smile gracing his lips , & a soft breath escapes him . for a day when i might know what it is like to set my weapons down . peace , he thinks , as a past version of himself battles himself with selfish urges & a pain known only by himself , for himself . 

❛   ever the heroic type , you are .   ❜     folding his arms ‘gainst his chest , he looks into the distance met with a wood - planked wall & the absence of others . he’s reminded how little he knows of her , but also how well - acquainted they’ve become . while she’s seen him cast his battles into another version of himself , die , rot , & fly again , there’s an imbalance in their knowledge of each other . perhaps that’s why he speaks , why he asks such questions , why he wishes to know & understand the existence of the woman of whom he owes such great debt .

he leans his back against a solid surface despite the chair that welcomes him to sit beside . glancing skyward ( or perhaps ceilingward ) he thinks in terms of hope & abandons the suffocating rage that once festered in the caverns of his vessel .      ❛   though suits you as it does , your modesty is ill - favored .   ❜     because despite her feelings , her ways of mere existence benefit such a vast , even unfathomable , amount of lives , & he can hardly stand to see how she might refer to such ideals as selfish .

❛   the day we lay our weapons will be day forever held in memorial  .  .  .    ❜     he pauses ,        ❛   and after , do you have such plans ?    ❜

[wrymbloods]

ESTINIEN VARLINEAU in the FINAL FANTASY XIV: DAWNTRAIL extended trailer

[ishguardienne]

❛   ▌┊𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 :   estinien  ( @azuredragoon ) .

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, Iphenne would have found the Azure Dragoon cut an imposing figure — and certainly he commands the respect of those around him — but as she has gotten to know him, she has learned that underneath all that venom and vengeance is a softer edge seldom few get to see. In Ishgard, he is renowned for his prowess on the battlefield. But in person, Iphenne finds him much different — quiet, observant, awkward to a fault.

And that softened edge. She has borne witness to it on occasion; in the moments when he teases the twins, or offers her his lance in battle. He cares, even if he isn't prone to saying as much, as Aymeric had once pointed out ( she still thinks of that day, when she was told Estinien stole her away from her fight with Zenos ). Time and again he has been by her side, fighting with her and protecting her in equal measure. Truly, she didn't think she would have survived this long had it not been for his strength or his shoulder to lean on.

Now, they would all be parting ways. At least for a time. Perhaps that is what emboldens her to pull him aside in the days leading up to their final goodbyes. If they are to not see each other for a while, then she would ask one last thing of him before he departs.

❝ I hope you did not think I would let you slip away without joining me for a drink one last time. Consider it my token of thanks for... everything. ❞

[azuredragoon-archive]

A MAN REBORN OF VENGEANCE'S ASH would exist solely as a softened soul in a wyrm - scarred vessel . the re - workings of beliefs & behaviors flooded thoughts through a journey of guilt - ridden amendments , heart - felt apologies , reconstruction of the mind , & regard for others' hearts , feelings , well - beings , & cultures . such travels would chip away at a heart of stone until azurite's exposure .

after the brutal vulnerability of such trials & tribulations , & the vowing of his lance to iphenne's side , he now finds himself betwixt her & the pressing matter of what mysteries the future may entail . there's a certain tension that lights the air with its flame , thickening it with uncertainties & unfamiliarity . fear threatens to seep through the walls , but he'd stay it 'fore it had the chance to corrupt the presence that stands aside him , temping him with an offer of a beverage ( or three ) , & a humble gratitude of his companionship .

he smiles vaguely , canting his head from side to side as eyes shift to the floor . she knows not the value she has in his heart , nor what her actions have impacted in his journey of renewal .

❛   only a daft fool would reject such an offer .   ❜ he crosses his arms , leaning forward from the cold wall he'd previously leaned his back 'gainst , ❛   if only you'd take my thanks in turn .   ❜

[nightseek]

" come to see the sights ? " though not pointed at estinien, y'shtola's sarcasm-soaked words could only find their home within one out-of-place elezen among scholars. matsya and her entourage chat amongst themselves, surely taking in the unique surroundings outside, while y'shtola enters the watcher's workshop, estinien tailing loosely behind.

and in true y'shtola manner, she toils while others leisure. she takes stock of the watcher's repository, keening on her heels to take tactile information of the supply, of which was placed on a table meant for someone much, much larger than anyone in tow. estinien, simply stood there. " if you liked me so evermuch, you need only say so. grand work-arounds are ill-fitting of you, ser varlineau. " / @azuredragoon

[azuredragoon-archive]

EVER A LONE WOLF , STRAYED FROM THE PATH OF GUIDANCE , he makes a conscious effort to allow comfortable space betwixt himself & the masses . he's find himself free from air's tensions , & free from the turmoil of the natural emotion that comes with a certain closeness . needless to say , history might reveal that he'd never done well with such situations .

❛   nay .   ❜ he responds to her question in earnest , albeit confused by which such sights she might be referring to ( all implied sarcasm be damned ) . she proceeds in her teasing , & only then does he realize the conversational mistake he'd made just previous . ignoring the detail of the matter , he stares at her with a blank expression , assessing any type of answer , tactless or otherwise . he simply states , ❛   you'd do well to reassess what ever version of me you've made to be true .   ❜

not that they've had enough moments to truly get to know one another .

[leathergerard]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[leathergerard]

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

[leathergerard]

... much like something else i know of

[soulprompts]

THE MANY MEANINGS OF "HEY.": A PROMPT LIST.

i often have these ideas that have no real origin, but i can actually tell you precisely why my brain wanted this: i was listening to "hey, soul sister" by train on a loop and i got thinking abt the fact that we really do just say "hey" for so many reasons. and i wanted to make that your thought of the evening! so happy november, bon appetit, wrap up warm, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST, and enjoy your writings!

[ GREETING ]: sender says "hey" as a greeting to the receiver.

[ ATTENTION ]: sender, having just noticed something strange or remarkable, calls for the receiver to get their attention.

[ REASSURE ]: in a bid to steady the unsettled receiver, the sender lightly says "hey" to help them calm down.

[ ANGER ]: the sender sharply snaps "hey" at the receiver, clearly angry about something the receiver has just done or had done in the past.

[ IDEA ]: having been presented with a predicament, the sender suddenly unravels a solution, introducing it to the receiver by saying "hey…".

[ GUILT ]: having just done something that they know the receiver won't be pleased with, the sender sheepishly greets them once they arrive to see the damage.

[ GOSSIP ]: the sender turns to face the receiver conspiratorially, clearly eager to share some new gossip with them.

[ URGENT ]: the sender rushes to the preoccupied receiver, desperately shouting "hey!" to get them to focus on a far more pressing matter.

[ SOOTHE ]: after finding the clearly distressed receiver, the sender pulls them into a careful embrace, gently murmuring "hey…" to try and soothe them.

[ SMILE ]: the sender (who hasn't been smiling up until they actually see the receiver in front of them) lights up with a smile as they greet the receiver.

[ TEARS ]: the sender greets the receiver while very clearly in tears.

[ FAKE ]: alternatively, the sender (who has just been crying in private) hastily wipes away their tears and tries to greet the receiver casually (to varying degrees of success).

[ WARNING ]: when the receiver begins to say things about subjects that are off-limits to the sender, the latter gives them a warning by saying "hey…".

[ LAUGH ]: having found the receiver to be decidedly unhappy, the sender lightly catches their attention before doing something to make them laugh, or at the very least, grin.

[ PROTEST ]: after the receiver does or says something that the sender deems to be unfair, the sender tries to exact justice by saying "hey!".

[ BREATHLESS ]: having clearly just sprinted down to the receiver, the sender tries to catch their breath while greeting them.

[ SAVE ]: after just saving the receiver's life in a very heroic fashion, the sender smoothly greets them while helping them escape.

[ FLIRT ]: the sender meets the receiver in a social setting, and attempts to flirt with them with the very traditional pick-up line: "hey.".

[ APOLOGY ]: the sender, having recently done something that hurt or upset the receiver, reunites with them and addresses the elephant in the room by greeting them with a sincerely apologetic tone.

[ AWKWARD ]: after a particularly rough first encounter, the sender meets the receiver again, and awkwardly greets them with more than a touch of embarrassment.

[ GENTLE ]: having found the receiver in an emotionally compromised position, the sender closes the door and approaches them carefully, gently saying "hey…" to try and get them to communicate what has upset them.

[ HARD ]: preparing to deliver what they both know will be bad news, the sender tries to prepare the receiver by quietly greeting them in a solemn tone.

[ WAKEN ]: walking into the receiver's bedroom, the sender gently shakes their shoulder to waken them, and whispers "hey." to encourage the process along.

[ WHISPER ]: the sender gently whispers "hey" to the receiver to discreetly get their attention without drawing the attention of others.

[humonculuss]

Estinien doodle

[azuredragoon-archive]

um.... hi :)

[azuredragoon-archive]

LOSING MY DAMN MIND !!!!!!!!!!! OVER THE GIFT @pietys GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS.... ;___; look at him . perceive .

[primulaceas]

Han Kang, Human Acts (translated by Deborah Smith)

[lunememes]

🌙  *  ―     𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐒  (  prompts for the five senses. add [reversed] to reverse the action. feel free to change wording as needed & add details )

𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇.

[ 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 ] ― sender wraps a soft blanket around receiver’s shoulders [ 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊 ] ― sender and receiver fall into bed together on silk sheets [ 𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐋 ] ― sender pulls receiver’s hair ( gently / hard ) [ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 ] ― sender strokes receiver’s hair [ 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender brushes receiver’s hair [ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓 ] ― sender paints a picture onto part of receiver’s body ( specify what & where ) [ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender traces their fingertips over receiver’s body [ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 ] ― sender traces a scar on receiver’s body [ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 ] ― sender reaches out to hold receiver’s hand [ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 ] ― sender worships receiver’s body

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄.

[ 𝐔𝐍𝐔𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 ] ― sender feeds receiver something they’ve never tried before ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 ] ― sender feeds receiver something sour ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 ] ― sender feeds receiver something sweet ( specify what ) [ 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender feeds receiver something spicy ( specify what ) [ 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender kisses receiver to taste the lingering flavour of what they ate or drank on their lips ( specify what ) [ 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender bites receiver hard enough to draw blood [ 𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 ] ― sender feeds receiver soup when they’ve fallen ill [ 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 ] ― sender makes receiver a cocktail to try [ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender cooks receiver their favourite meal [ 𝐓𝐑𝐘 ] ―  sender gives receiver a taste of what they’re cooking / baking for their opinion

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

[ 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 ] ― sender blindfolds receiver [ 𝐑𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄 ] ― sender and receiver see each other again after a period of being apart [ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 ] ― sender notices something different about receiver ( injury / haircut / tattoo / piercing / etc ) [ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 ] ― sender greets receiver in formal partywear ( feel free to add detail ) [ 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐒 ] ― sender takes receiver to see lanterns in the sky [ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ] ― sender and receiver lay under the stars to stargaze [ 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 ] ― sender and receiver lock eyes across the room [ 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 ] ― sender and receiver see a shadow move out the corner of their eye [ 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 ] ― sender and receive watch as something burns ( candles / a building / a campfire / etc ) [ 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender takes receiver to the aquarium to watch the sea life [ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 ] ― sender recognises receiver at a masquerade party

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃.

[ 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂 ] ― sender puts on the radio to listen to music with receiver [ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 ] ― sender plays receiver their favourite song on an instrument ( specify what ) [ 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 ] ― sender and receiver are in bed together while rain lashes against the windows / tent / etc [ 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender whispers something in receiver’s ear ( specify what ) [ 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender asks receiver for a dance upon hearing a song [ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 ] ― sender and receiver hear a sound when they should be alone ( footsteps / creaking floorboards / a scream / etc ) [ 𝐇𝐔𝐌 ] ― sender hums a lullaby to lull receiver to sleep [ 𝐌𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐃 ] ― sender comforts a temporally deaf receiver after a loud sound ( gunshot / explosion / etc ) [ 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌 ] ― sender calms receiver down from a panic attack in a loud place [ 𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐑 ] ― sender and receiver hear a muffled sound from another room / outside ( music / people / creature / etc ) [ 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 ] ― sender hears receiver crying and approaches comfort them

𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋.

[ 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐇 ] ― sender puts a scented bath bomb into receiver’s bath [ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 ] ― sender lights a scented candle for receiver [ 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ] ― sender puts perfume / aftershave on receiver’s ( wrist / neck / cheek ) [ 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 ] ― sender inhales receiver’s scent [ 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊 ] ― sender is drawn to the kitchen by receiver’s cooking [ 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒 ] ― sender steals an item of receiver’s clothes because it smells like them [ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ] ― sender notices receiver smells of their shampoo / shower gel [ 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 ] ― sender gives receiver flowers [ 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender helps clean receiver after a long day / stressful situation [ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐘 ] ― sender and receiver walk through the sewers to escape capture / avoid detection / chase someone [ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 ] ― sender massages receiver with a scented oil

[888beru]

[azuredragoon-archive]

pietys​  *

❝ nay, far from it. ❞ calloused digits stretch across godsarrows, warsongs finally reaching it’s final crescendo. ❝ yet, you remain at my side. have you enough strength, dragoon? ❞

                     ❛   aye . i am not so weak as to be bested before nightfall .   ❜ 

& YET , AS DAYBREAK threatens them with the presence of looming shadows , so too do his knees grow weaker , his legs more tired . the woes of being strung as a vessel to a puppeteer’s like makes not for a rested body , & certainly not for a rested mind . the marks of such endeavors he wears beneath his eyes & across marred flesh .

                                ❛   lest you disagree , i say we press on .   ❜

a fool’s decision .

[azuredragoon-archive]

well, well , well