Azyma Belle Wreckenridge

Gender is Power A blog for my writing and photos

[azymabelle]

Sometimes you find love in the strangest of ways...

She was a clinic girl A nurse of some sort Stringent and white She pricked me And as I watched my blood fill the vial I would glance every so often  At the Mark on the side of her neck I was tired all of a sudden Then cold, then dark When the light crept back in I saw that same mark I wondered aloud something I shouldn’t have But in that moment she was forgiving and sincere And did indeed, like beer

We had one, we had two We had three, we had four She needed help with her shoes And I couldn’t find the door We ended up twisted Tangled on the floor This way and that An embarrassing sight No one should reenact  Yet through it all we found We didn’t mind each other All that much

[azymabelle]

Person: *sigh* I really need to get my life in order. Me: There's a nap for that.

[azymabelle]

[azymabelle]

I have a cervical sprain but at least I still look cute. 

And my hair is finally getting to an acceptable length.

New writings in the works, I promise.

[azymabelle]

Things I've been doing besides updating this blog...

-Playing Dark Souls -Watching YouTube videos of people playing Dark Souls. -Applying for jobs [lol jk, actually just playing Dark Souls] -Sleeping. [I'm even dreaming about Dark Souls wtf] I really need to get my life in order... I'll try and post something more interesting soon. Probably some fan fiction of my Dark Souls character >.<

[azymabelle]

So today I spent a good amount of time thinking about what I wanted to post here for Transgender Day of Visibility. I came up with a plan. After work I’d make myself some pizza, take a shower, then bust out the makeup and cute outfits, take some pics and post what I liked best.

I was looking forward to getting pretty, but when I actually got home I was so tired from work that I just fell asleep on my couch while listening to today’s episode of The World. I awoke when the UPS carrier knocked on my door. I saw my cat Yuki staring at me, wanting me to play with her. I thought about all the effort it would take to follow through with my post and came to the realization that I just didn’t even have the energy. At that point all I wanted to do was eat pizza and play Dark Souls. 

But then I thought to myself, it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing makeup, or a dress, or spend an hour styling my hair. I’m trans regardless of whether I’m wearing a t-shirt or a blouse. I know my gender and I don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations, including my own. I say that because sometimes I get so fixated on looking passable or trying to meet some standard of femininity I conjured up when all I really have to do is wear the clothes I want to wear and be the person I want to be.

So here’s a pic of me. No makeup. No cute outfit. Just me. 

[azymabelle]

The stars have fallen from the sky.

[azymabelle]

The road to my heart is paved with sour skittles.

[azymabelle]

Damn I've never been insulted by a fortune cookie before. Totally called me out.

[azymabelle]

x

I've been listening to this mix I made obsessively. As always, I recommend a dark room, headphones, and spotify premium. Happy listening...

x

Clock DVA - Zero Module Youth Code - To Burn Your World The Faint - Animal Needs Depeche Mode - Kaleid Fad Gadget - For Whom the Bells Toll Aphex Twin - CIRCLONT14 [152.97][shrymoming mix] Klaus Schulze - The Midas Touch - The Land Beneath the Ground David Bowie - Sunday Perturbator - Eclipse Goldfrapp - Fly Me Away

[azymabelle]

What are humans but the pocket change of the universe? Maybe some of us are nickels or dimes, and the rare few are quarters. But most of us are just pennies. Nearly worthless. Shifting around in the darkness of some cosmic coin purse. You can’t do much with just one, but hey, get a bunch of us together and maybe you can buy yourself a stick of gum.

[azymabelle]

Some Goals for the New Year

I've been thinking about new year's resolutions. I don't usually follow through with anything, but here are some things I think are very important for me to do in the new year.

Write every day

Make more posts here

Find a new job

Buy cute clothes

Play more music

Dress how I feel

These are all important, but that last one is paramount. This year I've learned my gender identity is truly something that gives me confidence. In 2014 I've gone out and felt more like myself than I ever have before. I'm learning to let go of my anxiety and just be who I want to be no matter what others think. The only regrets I have are when I don't wear a skirt/makeup/whatever. Gender is power, and it's making me stronger every day.

Happy New Year!!!

[azymabelle]

Me and my microkorg <3

[azymabelle]

Here's a little track I made this weekend. Nothing special, just messing around on my drum machine and microkorg.

[azymabelle]

Picked up some Foetus records!!!

[azymabelle]

Love at First Bite

You were sitting at the bar drinking scotch on the rocks. I sat down next to you, ordered a cherry coke and vodka. For two hours we sat and drank in silence. We were warriors, tired of war. We had nothing left to say and no desire to say it. The aching buzz of intoxication was good enough for us.

Some more time passed and without warning the bartender stood between us and uttered two words that would uproot our existential drop out. We were about to be forced to take action.

“Last call”

You ordered your drink. I ordered mine. We payed, we tipped well. Twenty percent. We took our shots, got up to leave. Standing up we finally caught each others eyes. We were locked in a gaze, we knew our destiny. For hours we had not said a thing to each other. We still had no need for words. From the moment we locked eyes our paths were created. Call it destiny, call it determinism, call it whatever you will. For us, it was only one word. A word that at that very moment in time was more important than anything that either of us had or ever will do. A word that arrested our hearts and invaded our minds. 

Tacos.

We took a drive down to Rita’s, ordered a dozen tacos to go. We kept on driving into the night eating tacos all the way to who knows where.

[azymabelle]