...Whatever, "Words."

Bibi. 26. A muser. This is my blog. Enjoy.

[asoftwrongness]

Donate.

[b-b-v-j]

Do you just wanna have sex...but just as friends? But fwb never works because SOMEONE always catches feelings and by someone I mean me.

I guess what I'm craving more is affection. From just one person. I miss that kind of connection.

[b-b-v-j]

monday

who woulda thought the universe would grant me the honor to spend an innocent night and morning with my high school crush 

there was a point where i physically could not breath, my heart was pounding so hard in my chest i’m sure he heard it

[b-b-v-j]

She-Demon

The Devil comes in the form of months old Tinder messages from your ex.

You are still a pathological liar.

[b-b-v-j]

I’m emotionally exhausted. Drained. Sick.

I do not like the way romantic relationships make me feel.

There is a lot I need to unpack.

Therapy is long over-fucking-due. I know.

[b-b-v-j]

My heart is elsewhere. I’m sorry.

[b-b-v-j]

there’s less than 4 months left to this year and it’s been the most painful and rewarding year of my life. right now, i feel like i am living in a paradox. how is it possible to feel like i am happy yet still exist in a perpetual state of pain?

i sense that my sadness has manifested into a state of exhaustion that i cannot escape anymore.

truth be told, i’m heartbroken too. i’m grateful you allowed me to experience you. you are nothing short of profound and i miss you so much

I feel no shame other than offering my own condolences to myself for the way that I feel

how human of me

[b-b-v-j]

Sex is gr8

Have more of it.

Thx for cumming to my Ted talk.

[b-b-v-j]

Saturday morning

I woke up with the biggest smile on my face today, you got me hypnotized.

[b-b-v-j]

Saturday, California

If they don’t appreciate you then what’s the fucking point? Leave me alone... id rather be alone

[b-b-v-j]

i work relentlessly to feel happiness even in my misfortunes

[b-b-v-j]

more 3am thoughts

2019

to healthier coping mechanisms to less self deprecating thoughts and behaviors to a better self emotionally, physically, spiritually

to accountability

to forgiveness of self and others alike

and a reminder that i am still human even as i falter 

[b-b-v-j]

3:15 am thoughts

one day i woke up  and life hurt a little less the sun shined a little brighter along with all that cliche BS 

but then it no longer felt like BS and things made sense

i’m still half asleep

in the past month i’ve cried and i haven’t at the same time i’m alone with my thoughts more all of it intentional and with purpose hard but rewarding

everyday is a reminder to self to do everything with love, always because i am love you are love, b

[b-b-v-j]

Happy? I'm trying really hard.

[b-b-v-j]

a habitual thinker, a substance abuser, a habitual drinker

tempted by the illusions of a temporary high

the signs of a mental armageddon 

how do you quantify the restlessness

by the bottles or the pounds of medicinal ash?

[b-b-v-j]

suffering doesn't last forever through the tribulations the downfalls disappointments we make it through being alive is my testiment to survive

[b-b-v-j]

you're not ur failures b.