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in the conscious departure of time, it is imperative to appreciate the moments of non-lasting opportunities to celebrate passage of time, as it wont last.

the decisions that seems to last forever are weighed against the time that although can be measured, cannot reassure the lasting effect. We have expired, burned, stargazed.

And I failed to wait for the love of my life to be ready to love me back.

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postanowione. the decision has beeen made.

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stories to be told. in the world of searching for way-points. learning to understand the simplicity of life.

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blueberry camp. piszę, żeby nie zapomnieć, żeby nie przegapić, zanim powieku padną do snu ze przeżywania zdarzeń. dzieje się tyle,że chciałby się zatrzymać czas, jednocześnie pozwalając mu trwać. konflikt pomiędzy doświadczaniem a byciem, a obserwowaniem a uczestniczeniem. lekcja pierwsza, grenalndczycy łatwo się nie poddają. lekcja druga, grenlandczycy są cierpliwi.

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rozprostowane skrzydła gotowe do lotu, tylko dokąd? więcej pytań niż odpowiedzi. roztańczone myśli wędrują po sierpniowym nocnym niebie.błekit obłoków, bez zachodów, bez rozchodów. niewydarzone miłości w arktycznych przestworzach, zorzach, morzach. czas bez granic.

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i’m puzzled. the lungs full of arctic love. the light flickers under the eyelashes, the wind on the boat, the salty waves agains the zodiac, fulmar’s flight gently caresses the t-issue between the ribs.breath in. let it in. Expiration pushes air out of the lungs, but I can only inhale at the moment.i have this strange feeling of being ready to die at any moment. I wish I could take a break from the ground for a moment, And then come back to it to start over. And let fate not pretend to misunderstand me: May it not only satisfy the wish Halfway, kidnapping me from here forever. Earth is the right place to love: I don’t know where it could have gone better. As for me, I would just like to climb a birch tree, Climb the white trunk, black limbs, Towards the sky - until the tree, unable to bear it, won’t bend down and won’t get me down again. It would be good to go like this and come back. It is not a bad lot. (BIRCH STRENGTHENER. R. Frost)

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są miejsca, które swoją ciszą manifestują więcej niż głosy. z arktycznej ciszy do pustynnej otoki bezmierności. w śnie zabierasz mnie tam, gaśnie dźwięk silnika i obydwoje płaczemy w krajobrazie pełnym pustej niedorzeczności. nienawiść i miłość. dno pełnego od uczuć oceanu, na środku pustyni. destrukcyjna myśl osobowości chciałaby tam. zostać. pochłoniętą przez kojoty, wygłodniałe myśli wojenne. dom bez domu stał się domem.

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You're the first and last person I'll ever love. I wish time would stop right now, that it would stay this way forever.

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nieskończ.oność granic i bezmiar uczuć. woda na herbate (o)stygne w popłochu zdarzeń, pomiędzy słowami tęsknoty w przestrzeni wypełnionej cukierkowym wzrokiem. jak wata cukrowa, stałeś się, ale nie jesteś. koło cukrowego garncarza wzdryga się i brzmiejesz, pod moimi że-brami, żebra(ka)my miłości. pod kocem jesteś.my. wyMYka się świadomość, jak w aparacie otworkowym czas sprzyja na naszą (nie)korzyść. dziejesz sie, choć nie jesteś. jego ani mój. świat zależności pełen wolności. słodki zapach na ustach rozpływa się w nicość, choć cię czuję, nie napełniam się. dzban pełen pustości. plans and plants. czas bez znaczenia. zmyślamy siebie w wolnym czasie. a tego w-ciąż brak. chciałabym.

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we looked around. the world was everywhere, so we left the caves and walked into the sun. we entered this world as hunters and were told that when we could no conger survive as hunters we would disappear like smoke. *michael robinson.Fifth day of the hunt.

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Sinnattorpunga. I have been dreaming the same dream of return many times before I returned.In a dream I return with you, we walk on soft freshly fallen snow and fall asleep with the snowstorm from the East. North replaced with North and everything became unbalanced in a be-polar world. Home for now and to wait until we return. qaqugu utissaagut? (from greenlandic: when will we return?)

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15th August - 5th June, it all comes to an end.

 Who would believe that 10 months can change that much, twist your mind, test your skills but at the end led to where you started, to stay who you are and where you came from. 

 To gain, to loose, to fight, to fall, to learn, to discover and repeat. To never get tired of the same landscape, to see it with different eyes, to not be discouraged.

 The year of polar bear awareness on every way out of the door, simultaneous feel for solitude and companion, learn to be friends and learn to be partners. 

Living in high arctic is learning yourself not to go crazy when the sun doesn't rise for months, when the sun doesn't set for months and when you accept things to be normal just because there never will be. 

 “There are those who stay at home and those who go away, and it has always been so. Everyone can choose for himself, but he must choose while there is still time and never change his mind.” ― Tove Jansson, Moominvalley in November

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“In this world, there are things you can only do alone, and things you can only do with somebody else. It’s important to combine the two in just the right amount.” —After Dark. Haruki Murakami.

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i think its quite amazing that we have actually come this far. we are sitting on a spinning blueberry in the middle of nowhere we actually just like a blink of an eye in the story of the universe. and we take it really seriously. abd we are really stressed running around thinking about our daily chores when it is going to be all over in just the blink. (Weather diaries.Greenland)

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life on island.

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Returning home from a trip can be difficult; there is, inevitably, a sense of anti-climax. Many people fill the hole left by a past adventure by planning another trip or seeking the next escape. I’m wary of doing the same, worried that it could become a negative spiral, that I would become so intent on adventure that I would lose the ability to be content at home. Instead, I am determined that the two big pulls on my life, adventure and home, should provide me with balance rather than conflict. I cannot envision a future for myself without travel and adventure but expeditions also teach me to value the pleasures of everyday life. When tempted to moan about the annoyances of a crowded supermarket, I remind myself of how incredible the thought of wandering around a place stocked with every food imaginable appeared to me when tucking into repetitive rations in a tent. If I find myself less than enthusiastic about travelling to a family event, I reminisce about how much I would have given for such a pleasure when in the wilderness. The same process works in reverse; when feeling sorry for myself in a cold tent I made sure to recollect that I was living my dream. I believe the two halves of my life can complement each other and work in harmony; expeditions teach me to appreciate the blessings of home; and home reinforces the value of adventures. (Felicity Aston. Alone in Antarctica.)

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In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it is wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices. (Elizabeth Gilbert)