He sure does love his fruits
We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?
And stickers!
he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!
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He sure does love his fruits
We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?
And stickers!
he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!
Give me Grace panicking when Simon stands behind him because he's scared of being tackled and pinned down against his will again.
Give me Grace only being comfortable when he's facing Simon head on so he can't sneak up on him.
Give me Grace only being able to cuddle Simon when he's laying flat on his back and can see his hands.
Give me Grace having a full-blown meltdown when Simon has to tackle Grace to the ground for his safety (explosion, Mary gets hit by debris, etc.) because he thinks it's happening again.
He knows it's irrational. He knows Simon would never hurt him. But Simon is the first human he's seen since everything that happened on Earth and his body can't forget the betrayal of his only friends drugging him and sending him to die.
Grace and Simon both have panic attacks, that's no surprise, but both have opposite methods of calming each other down.
Grace, due to being manhandled onto the ground, HATES being touched during a panic attack. Simon keeps his distance, instead just talks. Talks about random things, plants, facts, just anything. It keeps Grace grounded on Simon's voice, especially when Simon has him focus on the present rather than the past or future. He has Grace breath, touch the ground, and just talks until Grace is better.
Simon, due to his hallucinations and his fear of his now domestic reality is fake, Needs touch. He needs to make sure the plants are real, the stars are real, that Grace is real. Grace and Simon hold each other as Simon focuses everything on Grace, his breathing, where his arms wrap around, where his torso is, where his head rests. To feel, to hear, to be near Grace that makes him realize that everything is fine, Grace is real, plants are real, and the stars are alive.
If Ilya and Shane actually wrestled like no holds barred to the death full competition mode rough and tumble fighting, I think most of the time Shane would win. Shane is used to Ilya throwing him around and pinning him down, but Ilya gets tossed to the ground once and gets so turned on he passes out. Shane yells at him and pins him and he just gives up because he's so horny he cannot actually think. Their friends are like oh my god Shane you're hurting him! And Ilya is lying there under him so so so pleased like yayyyy I love being pinned by my huge sexy jock boyfriend #mysexyjockboyfriend DO NOT SAVE HIM he is exactly where he wants to be!!
Hollander, you are having panic attack. It's just a plan to fuck.
yes hockey IS that serious
Think of all the dumb flirting Shane and Ilya did when they finally got together. Like stuuuupid sappy in love hit that been swallowing down for years. Ilya walking into the kitchen after going for a run and kissing Shane’s ear and being like “I missed you so much” after being gone for less than hour. Ilya getting ready for a shower and Shane asking “without me?” Most importantly they do the whole ridiculous hand comparison thing. They are laying in bed, Shane sat over Ilya’s lap, hands playing as they chat. Shane flattens Ilya’s hand out with his own, presses their palms flat to each other, lined up and fingers fidgeting. And Ilya is like “your hands are so big” and Shane shrugs and he’s like I mean they are like yours and Ilya is like noo your fingers are thicker and longer, your palm is bigger too. And Shane is all like mmm I need them to be big my boyfriend has huge muscles he whispers and wiggles his eyebrows and it’s so stupid and corny and whatever Ilya is hard. Shane rides him with his hand gripping right to Ilya’s bicep, his other fingers pressed into Ilya’s mouth, wet with his saliva
One time, Shane and Ilya are in a hotel in a major city and their room faces a huge billboard of one of Shane's steamier ad campaigns. He's either shirtless or wearing a wet t-shirt so thin he might as well not be wearing one. Like truly the hottest and sluttiest he's ever looked in one of these campaigns. Ilya doesn't draw the curtains. The windows are tinted and the lights in their suite are dimmed so they feel fairly confident no one can see in. Instead, he makes sure Shane's facing the billboard as he fucks him, one hand holding a fistful of his hair, keeping Shane's head in place so that he can't look away from it.
"My supermodel. See how fucking beautiful you look here. You are hockey and sex. Everyone in this city sees this billboard and wants to fuck you. But only I can. Only I get to fuck the sexy billboard man."
He keeps Shane this way for ages, not touching him, bringing him right to the edge, only to stop and talk about another part of Shane's photo he likes like he's talking about a work of art in a gallery. Then he goes right back to fucking him.
When he finally wraps a hand around Shane's cock and tells him that it's okay to let go, that he's done so well and that Ilya wants to see him come for him now, Shane comes so hard he almost blacks out.
For the rest of the time that campaign is running, Shane can't see any of the photos of videos from it without getting hard.
confession idk how to draw men kissing i dont think ive done it properly like ever
but magic is neither good nor evil. it is a tool, like a knife. is a knife evil?
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
Another closely guarded take of mine is that I think Hollanov actually did do the whole lovemaking thing before the cottage.
Not often. Maybe only a couple of times. Maybe only once.
Some brutal fucking game where Shane cracked his fucking head on the ice hard enough that Ilya swore he felt it through the ice. The visor on his fucking helmet snapped off. His ears rang and his head swam but he didn't lose consciousness, his eyes were dilating fine. The trainers kept him back for half a period but eventually had to let him back out on the ice because someone complaining that much and talking that lucidly was probably alright. And he is, he is actually alright, but by the time the adrenalin of the game is gone and by the time he's done self-flagellating for the fact that, after all of that shit, Boston won by one point--by the time that's done, he's tired. His head aches. And this is the last time he gets to see Ilya, maybe, before playoffs ramp up and they don't speak for awhile. So of course he still goes to Ilya's place and of course he lets Ilya kiss him hard in the doorway, though he can't help the slight Ah, ah that comes out of his mouth when Ilya does his normal thing and fists a hand in his hair.
"Oh, oh, your head." Ilya says this far too gently and far too sweetly, like one might to an animal or child. Because Ilya is a little like the Big Bad Wolf and at times speaks with a voice not his own. Sometimes he opens his mouth but what comes out isn't his normal voice, deep and sexy and sometimes crude. At times he speaks with a different voice enirely--soft, higher. Call it loving, if it wasn't Ilya fucking Rozanov.
(This is because Ilya Rozanov is a loverboy at heart, always has been. Shane doesn't know this yet.)
"It's fine," Shane mutters, already searching for Ilya's mouth again. "Come on. Come on."
And Ilya obliges him, slots their mouths back together and slots his hands behind Shane's thighs to lift, and Shane loves that. He always does. He would never ever tell Rozanov, but he fucking loves submitting to him in that way--giving over his entire body as something to be picked up, moved around. This instrument of his that he keeps so finely tuned, and when he's with Ilya it doesn't belong to him anymore. It feels so fucking good, every time.
It feels especially good tonight, when all he's heard for hours is Fuck Hollander that one was bad. Careful with that head man we're gonna need it. That one was nasty, you sure you're good. Gotta be careful man.
Ilya says absolutely none of this. Ilya hauls him to the bedroom and tilts onto the bed, landing on it widthwise with Shane under him. He kisses Shane's stomach and hips as he takes off his pants for him and then he rests his chin in Shane's bush as he smiles and says, "You have headache, hm? I see you squint."
"A little. It's fine."
"You know what's good for headache?" Ilya kisses him twice, once in the hip, once on the stomach, low enough that Shane feels the suction of the kiss at the base of his dick.
"What?" Shane whispers, arms over his head and knees dropped onto the bedspread.
"Orgasm," Ilya says simply. "Releases chemicals, makes you feel good. I'll make you feel good, okay? See if that headache goes away."
And Ilya, as always, makes him feel good. But only after he puts a pillow behind Shane's head and a pillow under his hips and asks him if he's comfortable. And Shane would roll his eyes and accuse him of patronizing him, making fun of him for taking the hit, if there wasn't something different in Rozanov's eyes tonight. He kneels between Shane's legs and looks down at him, hands massaging Shane's thighs, and he looks unbearably handsome. Shane tells him so.
"Are you gonna fuck me?" Shane murmurs, when the staring and the touching has gone on for a very long time.
"Mm-hm. Yes." Ilya kisses his belly again, presses his forehead there. Says something that might be So beautiful or Pretty boy or even My baby. Shane decides it's not for his ears and doesn't listen, and then makes himself forget he ever heard it.
Ilya fucks him for absolute ages and says things like Feel good? Nice for you? Nice full feeling in your tummy? How is your head, baby, feel better? And Shane doesn't know why it doesn't feel condescending, why it feels so fucking good to let Ilya handle him this way when they normally snarl and bite at each other after games like the one tonight and like it that way. He doesn't know why this version of Ilya's control over him feels so right and fucking special.
Shane comes twice. Once with Ilya's hand around his cock, hand fisted in Ilya's perfect hair, Ilya grunting into his neck, the beautiful sensation of Ilya's thick cock twitching inside him, ideal in almost every way. Once a little later, in Ilya's mouth after he'd come and tied off the condom and got back in bed and kissed his way slowly down Shane's body from his shoulder to his hip. A gentle, soundless orgasm that Ilya swallowed down without comment before he rested his cheek on Shane's hip and dozed for a little while.
Shane taps his chin because it's getting late and he's going to miss curfew.
"I will pay your fine," Ilya mutters next to Shane's balls.
"Bad idea," Shane mumbles. There's a beat of silence, and then he says, "We probably shouldn't...do it like that again."
Ilya, after a moment, only nods.
It's the closest they come to talking about it. The way that it gets just a bit too real sometimes. The way that they let it keep happening, each of them making eye contact with it and then plucking their own eyes out just to forget its shape.
At the door, Ilya says, "Your head feels better, yes?"
And Shane says, "Yeah, you took good care of me."
And Ilya puffs up, proud of himself, then kisses the side of Shane's head while Shane resists the urge to say Fuck, Rozanov, what did I just say, because he wants it. Goddamn it, he fucking wants it and he's tired of denying himself.
So he lets himself be held for just another minute, because someday he won't have this choice anymore.
if ilya rozanov purred “such a good trick” in my face and then kissed me like i was ancient valuable porcelain with a five figure insurance policy and then proceeded to ghost me for 6 months i would kill him with a hammer
baby Shane
One of my most useless hollanov headcanons is that one day Shane will casually mention something he had growing up BC he came from a happy family and Ilya will have no clue what he's talking abt😭 He'll say about when he was a kid David would pour the hot, fresh laundry onto him and it would be nice and cosy. (I'm assuming other parents do this too right? Not just mine?) And Ilya doesn't relate, didn't think of that as an option.
So Shane starts to do it. Like randomly. He'll be doing laundry and fill it up in the basket and walk into their bedroom and Ilya will be on the bed on his phone or whatever and Shane will wordlessly empty the laundry onto him and it's so warm and soft and he understands why Shane looks back at it as a fond memory. And it just becomes a thing. They don't talk about it. But Shane will put the clean laundry on him, leave to do something else and circle back when it's no longer as warm so he can put it away.
+ maybe one day they have someone over idc who, sveta, a centaur, whoever. And they will just be chatting and Shane will walk past and pour the laundry on him and walk off and they're like "what the fuck? R U guys arguing?" BC it seems like a weird, petty thing to do. But it's just Shane's way of saying ily. And Ilya loves it.
Shane and Ilya would both get book deals, I think. But Shane's would be part practical hockey guidebook, part motivational self-help book. He and Yuna write it together. He just wants there to be a book that new professional hockey players can read that will give them an idea of what to expect. Especially players moving to North America from overseas who are having to enter a whole new world not just in their career, but their whole life. And even though it's aimed at pro hockey players, it has wider appeal from hockey fans who like to dream about what it might have been like to be a pro player. It's also just super fucking funny. Like genuinely worth the read just for the humour and wit alone.
Ilya's is a memoir called something like "This Boy Pucks" or "Big Stick Energy". It turns out to be surprisingly poignant and emotional because he's super honest about what happened to his mom, growing up in an abusive home, his own struggles with his mental health, and what it's been like being one of the first two MLH players to ever marry each other. It's funny of course, but also gut-wrenchingly beautiful.
And, of course, they each dedicate the book to the other. Because the story wouldn't be the same without him.