hehehe sooo.. pro hero, husband! katsuki not being able to spend time with you took a toll on his agency, so someone said... you two needed to bone.
it had been weeks since katsuki had a proper night at home. pro hero work never let up but lately, it felt like it was eating him—late nights at the agency, barely any sleep, reports, patrols, meetings.
you understood. it was his job, his responsibility, but his stress showed in the way he snapped at people more often, his fuse shorter than usual.
and today? he was especially pissed.
the whole office refused to confront dynamight about it, until some dumbass sidekick, probably sick of his rage-fueled outbursts, muttered under his breath, “tch. man just needs to go home and bone his wife.”
katsuki stopped mid-step, shoulders going rigid. his head turned slowly toward him, eyes burning like he was about to set the entire building on fire.
"the fuck did you just say?"
the sidekick, to his credit, had the audacity to look innocent. "i mean, you’re obviously tense, and i'm sure she’s—"
he lunged at him. it took three other sidekicks to hold him back as he damn near flipped his desk over.
“YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD! BONE?!” katsuki roared, struggling against his coworkers like a wild animal. "say that shit again, i dare you! you think i’m pissed ‘cause i ain’t fucking my wife enough?!”
the whole agency floor collectively held its breath.
the poor sidekick scrambled for an excuse. “n-no! i-i just meant—uh, stress relief! yeah! y’know, intimacy is good for—”
katsuki grabbed a random clipboard and hurled it across him. he missed by a centimeter. “you think i don’t wanna fuckin' go home to her?! huh?!”
“i wanna go home so bad! i wanna see her, i wanna kiss her, i wanna lay on her tits and sleep for the whole fuckin’ day,” he ranted, voice cracking from pure frustration. “BUT NOOO! i’m stuck here writing reports and dealing with dumbasses like you!”
the office was dead silent.
it took a solid ten minutes for him to cool down, grumbling and seething as he rubbed his temples.
to you. to the way he missed your voice. to how fucking long it had been since he held you properly.
to the way he always found you asleep by the time he got home, curled up on his side of the bed, waiting for him.
… fuck. maybe the sidekick did have a point.
katsuki inhaled sharply. then, with wild determination, he grabbed his his stuff, and stormed toward the exit. the agency could handle itself for the night. he had better things to do.
“fuck this. i'm goin' home to my wife."
meanwhile, you had barely settled on the couch, ready to enjoy a quiet evening alone, when the front door slammed open. you jolted, turning toward the entrance just in time to see katsuki storming in—looking like a man on a mission.
“katsu—” you barely got his name out before his mouth crashed onto yours, hot and urgent, like he’d been starving for this. you gripped his shirt as he pulled you impossibly close, practically lifting you off the floor.
you gasped against his lips as his hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head as he deepened the kiss, pressing his body against yours.
strong hands cupped your face, rough but desperate. his lips were everywhere—your cheeks, your nose, your jaw, the corner of your lips—like he was making up for lost time.
and when he finally let you breathe, his forehead pressed against yours, panting slightly, his hands still gripping your waist like he was afraid you’d disappear.
you were breathless, blinking up at him in shock. “what the hell?”
katsuki exhaled sharply, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.”
your brows furrowed. “you left for work this morning.”
“exactly,” his lips brushed against yours again, softer this time. “should’ve come home sooner.”
it was then you realized—he was home way earlier than usual. normally, he'd get caught up in work, buried in reports or dealing with patrols, but tonight…
“wait, why are you home so early?” you asked, still dazed.
katsuki huffed. his fingers slid down to your waist, gripping you tightly. “tch. dumbass sidekick at work said i just needed to fuck my wife to fix my attitude.”
your jaw dropped. “excuse me?”
his lips brushed yours again, softer this time. “so i left early to prove ‘em right.”
your face burned. “katsuki!”
but he was already leaning in again, smirking against your lips. “better get comfortable, sweets. i’m makin’ up for lost time.”
and when katsuki stepped into the office that morning, something was… off.
for the first time in weeks, he didn’t stomp in with a permanent scowl, barking at everyone the second he crossed the threshold. his usual sharp glare was dulled, his shoulders weren’t tense as tense.
instead, katsuki looked, dare they say it—relaxed. his jaw wasn’t clenched, his brows weren’t furrowed, and the usual aggressive boom of his steps was noticeably tamer.
hell, the man even had a post-nut glow so obvious. skin clear, posture loose, and zero unnecessary shouting.
no explosions. no immediate death threats. no one getting yelled at for breathing too loud.
by the time he made it to his desk, his coworkers were already exchanging looks, whispering amongst themselves like they’d just seen a miracle.
"uh…" one of his sidekicks was the first to cautiously approach. “sir. you good?”
katsuki just grunted, rolling his shoulders before cracking his neck. “feelin’ great, actually.”
and that’s when it clicked. a murmur spread through the office as realization slammed into them.
“you boned last night,” he stated, like it was the discovery of the century.
katsuki just smirked, grabbing some files off his desk. “what’s it to ya?”
“holy shit, i forgot he could be normal—”
“i haven’t known peace in months.”
“oh my god, mrs bakugo katsuki, if you can hear this—thank you for your service!”
someone started clapping.
then, the entire office cheered.
‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ i think y'all know where this is inspired from but js in case, its from a sitcom named brooklyn 99 where this girl tells her boss he needs to bone his husband lmao😭 hope yall enjoyed!!