ဗ Beware the Ink Demon. ဗ

Kin/personal blog for the little devil darlin' himself !!

[b3ndy]

(@bendyy-blog -> @b3ndy, changed username !!)

Fact - "ဗ" is the letter "ba" in the Burmese alphabet, the language spoken by nearly 2/3rds of Myanmar's population.

Warning- I'm an adult. I post about and make jokes about suggestive things infrequently. All posts of that nature are tagged with #suggestive or #nsfw, and have a maturity filter over them. Minors are welcome but advised to block those tags and to Not interact with those posts.

Welcome to my blog, where I post about being Bendy and other things related to nonhumanity, fictionkin and alterhumanity in general, as well as some more personal things.

ဗ Name- Bendy

ဗ Pronouns- He/They

ဗ Queer identities- Aromantic, my gender is myself

ဗ Labels- Nonhuman, otherkin, fictionkin

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

I only have one "kintype", but it has different forms-

ဗ Toon Bendy- (will add image eventually) Not the physical character from BATDR, rather the one in the shorts, comics and cutouts. Almost always this form. Despite just being one form, it has variations in personality, appearance and voice depending on my general mood and other factors. Around 3ft from my estimates.

ဗ Blendy- (will add image eventually) It/Its and refered to in 3rd person despite it being myself. A noncanon form characterised by heavy variation in appearance. Always seen with one eye and the general body type the same as Toon, but can have either hooves or boots, claws or gloves, teeth or none, etc. Around 4ft or less.

ဗ Ink Demon- (will add image eventually) Exclusively the final BATIM design, connected to both the games and book series. Only huge differences are the fact I can swap between quadruped and biped, and Beast Bendy does not exist to me. My mouth cannot open or change expression. Around 7ft or more.

...and my many other characters that aren't kins but I feel connected to or shift into... (might make a list one day ???)

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Extra information-

ဗ @bendys-sanctuary is my reblogging place for art, stimboards and more that include or relate to me.

ဗ I am ok with doubles and fine seeing them interact with me.

ဗ I am also ok with the BATDR ink demon and toon too.

ဗ My main account and this kin blog are and will remain separate, if you know my main please do not reveal or link it to this one.

[b3ndy]

Gonna be honest I wish there were more terms and words for attraction and relationships that aren't romantic. Or just sexual. Like yeah "queerplatonic" but what if... it doesn't feel platonic ? For attraction I label it as sexual, sensual, aesthetic but. Tertiary doesn't really describe the idea behind it that well for someone uneducated.

I want to stare at them, kiss them, touch them sexually and sensually. That all falls under those labels I suppose. But I also wanna hang out with them. Talk about stupid or thought provoking things. I wanna do activities with them like play games or watch stuff. I wanna just interact with them but it feels special in a way. This isn't a queerplatonic relationship to me nor is it romantic or platonic so what the hell else could it be labelled as ? Tertiary doesn't Describe it. It just indicates it's outside of the usual two. It doesn't bother me too much to not have a label but it really does feel a little sad that queerplatonic is the only "3rd relationship" one commonly accepted and used.

[thesilligoosenator3000]

why not come up with a label of your own?

[b3ndy]

Not sure where to begin and I kinda just wish there was a formal one along the lines of terms like queer platonic. It just isn't really the same for me yknow.

[b3ndy]

Gonna be honest I wish there were more terms and words for attraction and relationships that aren't romantic. Or just sexual. Like yeah "queerplatonic" but what if... it doesn't feel platonic ? For attraction I label it as sexual, sensual, aesthetic but. Tertiary doesn't really describe the idea behind it that well for someone uneducated.

I want to stare at them, kiss them, touch them sexually and sensually. That all falls under those labels I suppose. But I also wanna hang out with them. Talk about stupid or thought provoking things. I wanna do activities with them like play games or watch stuff. I wanna just interact with them but it feels special in a way. This isn't a queerplatonic relationship to me nor is it romantic or platonic so what the hell else could it be labelled as ? Tertiary doesn't Describe it. It just indicates it's outside of the usual two. It doesn't bother me too much to not have a label but it really does feel a little sad that queerplatonic is the only "3rd relationship" one commonly accepted and used.

[spiritnotthehorse]

"supportive" parents when their openly transgender child does anything transgender.

[b3ndy]

"Hello mother I am transgender"

"Oh uh ok"

"I'm considering top surgery and hrt and wanna wear some men's clothes and kinda don't like my given name"

"I WORRY THIS ISN'T REALLY TRUE TO YOU... I'M JUST CONCERNED OK... DON'T CUT UP YOUR HEALTHY BODY FOR NO REASON THAT'S SAD. YOUR NAME IS UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL IT HAS NO GENDER !! (literally ends in a feminine suffix in our language) YOUR GRANDMA HELPED COME UP WITH IT OHHH... BINDERS SEEM SO DANGEROUS ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO IT SEEMS RISKY. I'M JUST WORRIED OK !!!!!!"

[b3ndy]

On that note actually. What an unserious disease to have.

Sorry I need to eat my yummy white sprinkles every day else I get Bad Belly and shit blood. I also can't eat yummy foods in excess else my body rejects Me over it. It's literally fighting itself. I'm self harming without even trying.

[b3ndy]

Sorry for my terrible yuck post but feeling bloated has got to be one of the most humiliating stupid things ever. You just feel gross forever and constantly reminded of what monster awaits inside you. Hellish. You are a sac of Viscera and also Gas and Shit fuck you !!!!!!!!!!!!

[b3ndy]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

Reminder that -

Aromantic does not mean nor insinuate asexual

Some aromantic people can be loveless

Some aromantic people can love in different ways

Attractions like sexual, aesthetic, platonic, sensual and more are all valid and real and deserve recognition

Some aromantic people can love a lot

Some aromantic people can lack any attraction of any sort

Some aromantic people are still queer even if they are otherwise cisgender, endosex (correct me if that's the wrong word) and heterosexual

Some aromantic people can still feel romantic attraction, the frequency, strength or other factors can earn them the label

No one type of attraction is more moral or valid than another. Sexual and romantic attraction are both morally neutral

No one type of attraction is entirely stronger or weaker than another. Someone can feel as strongly about someone sensually as another might feel romantically about someone. Someone out there loves their platonic friend as strongly as someone loves their romantic partner

It's a SPECTRUM !!! The label means different things to different people depending on their experiences and feelings. Never generalise and be accepting. Aromantic identities are vast and deserve to be recognised and not judged.

[b3ndy]

I have a weird talent of redirecting arguments and conversations with hateful or cruel people into something oddly on the same page between us or discussing something genuinely important. Was arguing with a transphobe and it ended up as him informing me about the guy who sent me gore yesterday and the group he's part of.

If I met hitler do you think we'd end up discussing animal welfare /JJJ seriously though I feel like a fucked up steven universe

[b3ndy]

I should have conversations with fictional characters in my head more often I'm dissociative enough to where it feels like a real enough talk. It gets really vivid when I get into it. Ooohhgg. Please don't bring back the weird pluralesque splitting feelings though.

[b3ndy]

Fun Fact - it's evil that when The Problems happen my lower torso feels physically fatigued from it even after the pain has passed.

[b3ndy]

Anyone else get that weird feeling where upon seeing gore or torture or injury that's incredibly painful for the subject they get an urge to replicate it on themselves for some weird sense of relief. Just got sent animal gore/torture for the first time and I don't know how to process it so I'm just yapping about it. So THAT happened...

[b3ndy]

Worst thing ever is drawing suggestive art you're kinda proud of which makes you want to share it but not wanting to share it because it's too personal and vulnerable and it would be too exposed to show people art of what's essentially yourself doing sexual bullshit. Such is my world.

[eggl-rd]

lately been feeling like i have 1 angel wing and 1 devil wing and 1 normal eye and 1 black and red eye with black tears coming out of it

my beautiful country

[b3ndy]

Just learned tumblr likes can go oldest to newest if you so wish. Tried it. First like was apparently an EX FRIEND WHO HATES MY GUTS that felt so great and not terrible at all. it's a blocked tag on top of that too SIGH

[b3ndy]

I find the shift in my blog throughout the years quite funny tbh. Started of very much as a kin blog, was Goin Through It mentally and socially. Discovering more about that side of me and all. Posts were quite high energy and were anything from random realisations about myself to vents to shitposts. And now it's mostly just personal happenings and thoughts barely ever related to my nonhumanity and fictionkin identity.

Plus the personal shift I've had regarding my identity. Those old reblogs were right, stuff really does chill out over time. In the past yknow it all started because I couldn't stop imagining myself as Bendy for some reason. Like really intense mental shift that couldn't be beat. And from that point onward it slowly slowly started to subside and chill into a background thing rather than the main thing taking up my brain space. I've kinda learned to accept my body a little more though I don't think I'll ever be like... particularly happy with it as well. I've been making self inserts for things (those who know) that are just like. My human self but a super simplified and an idealistic version. Transitioned, toony, bright n happy. Hair that's actually got volume and life to it. It might be the happiest I'll ever be with myself and yknow, if attaching to self inserts like this is the only way to do it then I suppose it's fine.

Also what helped me majorly is to just make up and use terms your own way. Just to use em in a sentence, I'm fictionkin of Bendy specifically, and I have different forms of that being Toon, Ink Demon and Blendy. I'm nonhuman and that expresses itself through my fictionkin identity as well as my phantom shifts, mental shifts, dysphoria and more. Sometimes with the characters I attach to as well - They aren't me and I ain't them but I feel connected in some way and feel comfortable having cameo shifts into them. I do have some glitches - unwanted intrusive shifts - that sometimes occur but they've quieted down over the years. I also get a weird mental thing where I feel like a puppy in some way but it isn't an identity type thing like therian or anything, rather an odd state of mind where I just feel sillier and want to act like one or wear ears and a tail and have a collar n stuff. I don't entirely have a term for that but even so I can make do by just describing it and that's good enough for me.

Idk. It's just interesting. I'll forever be Bendy but I can more comfortably just imagine myself to be nothing or use characters like my self inserts or bitches like Fry Futurama and shit to feel less dysphoric about myself. Literally all of this I think is mainly a way to avoid feeling dysphoric pffh. That's the purpose. And it really has helped. Even if I can't physically be something or someone else I can at least imagine and use my disassociation to my advantage.

Bit of a ramble here but. Yeah. I dunno. Stuff is interesting. I'm happy where I am now, for the most part. Maybe a younger otherkin fella or alterhuman will see this and get that same understanding as I did being told "stuff calms down".

It doesn't go away if it doesn't need to. It's always gonna be there. But other things will find a space in your mind and it'll be a very comfortable and healthy balance between identity and stuff you do/think about/enjoy. Same goes for queer identities tbh, baby gays are essentially the same as the I JUST BECAME/LEARNED I'M OTHERKIN phase. At least to me. You enjoy the novelty of it and then it just settles into everyday life comfortably.

[b3ndy]

Sometimes I forget straight people exist because I see a hetero relationship between two people or characters and my first instinct is to say "WOW they're gay" but alas no it's actually very much straight. Very woman x man who only like the opposite gender. Very funny.

[gloomurai-official]

as a fictionkin im a big fan of the "people see you as your pfp" phenomenon