Mindset

up down and all around

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When life comes at you hard don't give up

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Turns out the girl that I thought I loved was actually a double agent using what I wanted the most(love) as a tool to get me to do what they wanted. The game is cruel and the masses are growing to the point where they are making moves. I didn't plan on making the environment this crazy. I thought I would have been dead long ago but I keep living. Idk what comes next but the pressure is crushing my brain

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The plot thickens

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Your gone. I thought if I stayed away you would be okay and that didn't work. I'm happy I told you that I loved you the last time I saw you. I haven't opened up to someone like that for years and maybe that was the cost idk. I can feel your spirit and I know that you are with me now always. I'm going to do my best to focus on being a survivor and not a victim and try to make the most of of the days that are left. I love you MareCee

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I don't know what's scarier not coming to see you or the hope that I will see you and it be too late and never see you again.

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Rip grandma I'll miss you look out for brother

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Missing you.

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Don't clear cut a forest and leave it. Plant done saplings so the future has more promise.

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When you love something or someone and you know that you would ruin it you have to let it go so it can thrive and fill the world with all the beauty that they hold. I know I shut the door on you but I hope with me closing that door you can open a new one that leads you to happiness I'll always love you even though I know I can't.

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I feel like a jerk and I am a jerk in allot of ways, but I gotta look out for myself and sometimes prioritizing the self subtracts from others and I wish it didn't have to be that way

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I think I found my thing

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Where to go from here....time to get a skill and start effecting the environment in a good way

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Nothing is harder then coming to the fact that someone you love is better of without you in their life.

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Fuck you cortisol

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I want to find you so fucking bad!!!

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I know I'm never going to get to see you again. I want the kind of life for you that I know I can't give and so I sent you away. It kills me a little inside but at the same time finding someone to love gives my soul energy to keep going. I love you.

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There was some good that came my way I fucking needed that shit! Keep positive and push for better