Pairing Uber Driver!Finn Wolfhard x Reader Genre Crack Warning Arguing, Yelling, Mild Violence, Stranger Danger, Car Slander, Implied Driver License, Finn’s a flirt for some unknown reason, Readers a hardcore Karen Wordcount 1108
The night was young, wild, and free. You and your friends had been out for hours and finally agreed it was time to call it a night. Your friends ordered themselves an Uber, and so did you, yay! Sadly, you couldn’t get one with them because you lived on the opposite side of town. Bummer…
While your friends climbed into the backseat and headed home together, you stood out in the cold midnight air, all alone, freezing every nerve in your legs off.
But suddenly, a rusted, beaten up, barely functioning car rolled up beside you.
You prayed it wasn’t someone dangerous, but then…
“Hey, you’re Reader, right? I’m Finn, your Uber driver!”
You were stunned to the absolute core.
“Yoo-hoo! Close your mouth or a stinky, yucky little bug might fly in.” He laughed.
Finn actually laughed.
This man… this man in a beat-to-hell ass car laughed…? Who does this random Uber driver think he is!? He’s the one in a car that looks like it’s on less than its last leg. You swear on everything you saw his car break up, down, all around while pulling up and parking next to you. Stupid grey clouds of gas surrounded his car like dysfunctional aura.
“You getting in or not? I mean, I’m getting paid either way…”
“OH HECKS NO!” you snapped, walking away from the scene, refusing to enter a vehicle that looked like it would crumble into dust if you so much as breathed wrong around it. You would quite literally rather die than be stranded in the cold inside a car held together by hopes, prayers, and cheap duct tape.
Finn watched you storm off, mildly amused by your dramatic exit. He let out a small chuckle and rolled down his window further.
“Hey, it’s cold out.” Finn’s soft laughter floated out from his cheap ass car as he slowly drove beside you. “Come on, you princess. Get in.”
“NO! DO NOT CALL ME PRINCESS. I DON’T KNOW YOU!!” you shouted, flipping him off. “This is stranger danger. YOU are the stranger. And I am feeling VERY endangered!”
You walked away again. Like, WHO did this man think he was!? Instead of calling you pet names, he should be pet sitting the neighbor’s dog until he can afford a car that doesn’t look like it was handcrafted by cavemen.
“Stupid piece of shit car,” you muttered. “He’s crazy if he thinks I’ll EVER get inside that thing.”
Finn grinned at the middle finger you served him, increasingly amused by your dramatic meltdown. He revved the engine to get your attention. The obnoxious sound echoed along the cold, wet street. “You’re a little mean!” he called, still smiling. “Come on and get in before I follow you home!”
“You’re going to look like a creep, especially in that scrap metal you’re lying about being a car!”
He leaned out the window with a smug grin. “Scrap metal? This baby’s got character. And may I say, she’s got more character than you, princess.” Finn laughed again, shaking his head. “And I don’t care if I look like a creep. You’re the one who’s gonna be walking in the cold.”
You took off one of your heels and chucked it at him. “I’d rather FREEZE!”
Finn ducked just in time, and the heel slammed against the car door. He burst into laughter, absolutely entertained.
“Nice aim! But your feet are gonna be numb by morning if you actually try walking home. Stop being difficult and get in!”
“Frostbite is WORTH IT if it means not getting into that welding dumpster with an ENGINE!” you screamed like a rabid druggie.
Finn rubbed his forehead, adjusting himself in the driver’s seat. “You’re really something else. Most people would take a warm ride over frostbite. But hey, suit yourself. I’ll be watching you shiver from the comfort of my seat.”He winked.
No way in hell this man in that DIY Ikea car missing all its screws actually trying to flirt with you right now.
“Drive away, you creepy Uber weirdo!” you yelled, throwing your other heel.
Finn gave a dramatic mock salute. His grin still plastered on his face as your other heel missed him too. “As you wish, princess. Enjoy your little walk of shame!”
He started the engine but still didn’t leave, obviously enjoying the chaos way too much.
“Stupid piece of shit guy,” you grumbled, walking barefoot on the cold sidewalk. “Get a damn new car, you poor ass…”
Finn snickered loudly, yelling one last time before rolling up the window.
“I heard that! And for your information, this car has sentimental value!”
“Sentimental value MY ASS! I’m reporting you and taking away your job! No customer should have to survive FIVE MINUTES inside the junkmobile you tried to pass off as a car!”
Finn’s amusement finally cracked, shifting to disbelief and annoyance.
“Oh, PLEASE do,” he shot back. “I’d love to hear you explain to Uber that you reported me because my car isn’t fancy enough for you. And FYI, none of my passengers have ever complained.”
“Not to your FACE they haven’t!” you yelled. “They feel BAD for you! Why add more shame to your life by insulting your freak-ass, broken-ass, poking-out-ass, rusted-ass, degraded-ass, dysfunctional-ASS CAR!!”
Finn rolled his eyes, irritation slipping into his voice.“You’ve got quite the vocabulary for someone who refuses rides. And just so you know, it’s not broken! It just needs a little love and attention!”
He grabbed an empty coffee cup from the passenger seat and threw it at you. “Unlike some people, my car isn’t too stuck-up to appreciate old-fashioned charm!”
“My vocabulary is doing its JOB!” You snapped. “That thing needs more than love, it needs an entire NFL TEAM of mechanics to replace EVERY. SINGLE. LITTLE. PART! That car isn’t old-fashioned, it’s an ANCIENT ARTIFACT that wouldn’t even make it into a museum!”
Finn gripped the steering wheel so tightly you thought it might snap. “You know what? KEEP WALKING! I’d rather drive someone who appreciates classic cars than someone who can’t tell the difference between vintage and junk!”
He revved the engine aggressively and finally drove off, leaving you in the freezing night.
“Your car isn’t classic, it’s drastic! And not in a good way! DRIVE OFF, ASSHOLE! I NEVER WANTED TO GET IN YOUR CAR ANYWAY!”
Finn stuck his hand out the window as he sped away and flipped you off.
As he drove down the street, he muttered under his breath, still fuming. “Ungrateful customer… who does she think she is? My car is perfect the way it is… she just doesn’t understand art.”
Pairing Mark Lee x Reader Genre Crack Warning Death, Poisoning, Heart Attack, Body Horror, Mark Lee, not proofread Wordcount 1164
I was 17 years old when I first lent Mark Lee three dollars and died shortly after. A little girl blew on a dandelion and the little feathery petals of it flew into my throat, suffocating and killing me instantly.
Mark Lee watched in fear as I chocked to death. He ran away farting and screaming, gross.
I didn’t know I died until I woke up as a 5 year old. I restarted my life, I redid school, I made new friends, I went on playdates, I robbed a bank, I hugged a boy under the slides, I played house, I redid my childhood.
A 5 year old Mark Lee came running to me. “Y/N-ie! Let’s get ice cream!!”
The ice cream man told us it would be three dollars, and I instantly got a funny feeling in my stomach. I looked over to Mark, and the words he told me made me sick to my stomach.
“I don’t have money. My mommy said I’m too young cutie baby to have any.” He then ran back to the park, showing off his ice cream to our friends in the playground.
I took out three dollars, gave it to the ice cream man, and heard my heart break. Three dollars was all I had to my name. My whole net work gone. I shed a tear and walked away sadly.
As I was walking the across the street, I felt it. I got ran over by a minivan. I heard my bones breaking, the tires screech, the people screaming calling for help, the ambulance. I heard it all. I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t.
I died, again. And Mark Lee somehow had something to do with it , again. Coincidentally, I lost three dollars, again.
I awoke again, this time as a 23 year old woman in a survival base trying to stay alive from a zombie apocalypse.
“Y/N! Thank goodness you’re awake, we need to go out for food again.”
“Ok, just let me wake up first…” I stretched out my arms, and looked around. I didn’t need to familiarize myself with the place, my brain somehow new it like the back of my hand.
I dress myself and made my way to the Market Town that was known for having food to sell. The food wasn’t free, it costed bottle caps. I walked around the the small town and payed for food to take back to my home base.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have three caps. Can’t you just give it to me, please? I promise I’ll pay you back later!” Mark Lee begged the vendor.
“Hey, I got extra caps. I can pay for you.” I handed him three bottle caps.
“Thank you so much! I’ll repay you with whatever you need.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” I smiled at him and walked out the Market Town, feeling good about myself, but also weird. I had a weird feeling that a zombie was about to come behind and attack me.
“Ahh!” I screamed from the top of my lungs as what I predicted did happen. I zombie fell out of nowhere onto my back and began biting me. I tried to push it off, but it was too late. I collapsed to the floor as a rush of zombies began to surround me and eat my inside.
I died, again. Mark Lee killed me, again. Expectedly, I also lost 3 caps of currency.
I woke up, again. My insides were hurting as I remembered how the zombies teared me open right before my spirit got transferred again.
I was reborn as a mermaid. I swam around with my friends around the streets regularly and would always go shopping for tail, top, and hair accessories.
While swimming down the sandy streets, my friends and I swam our way to a street vendor selling season coquina shells. Their my favorite, I love how sweet they taste for something so salty!
“Here you go ladies!” The vender handed us our Coquina shells and we paid and swam away giggling and laughing over how cute he was.
I finished my shells quickly and went to go get more. I noticed a guy struggling to pay, and to my surprise, it wasn’t Mark Lee!
Eventually the guy paid for it in whatever Pearls he had on him. I ordered myself more coquina shells, paid the three Pearls, and smelled the delicious sweet and saltiness coming from the shells.
Suddenly I heard a voice behind me. “What are those?”
I turned around and this time it was Mark Lee. I gave him my coquina shells out of fear of somehow dying.
As I swam away I realized I basically gave him three Pearls. I instantly stopped on my tracks, and turned around to see him enjoying them.
I knew what was coming. I looked around to see for anything that might kill me in the next five minutes. Thankfully nothing was off or out place. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and took my time swimming back to the bench my friends and I were sat at.
I should’ve kept my eyes open. I somehow ended up swimming to a fishing hook and got my stomach punctured on it. I tried to get off it, but the movement I made caused the fishing hook to lift me out of the water and onto some random boat.
It’s a misconception that mermaids are as tall as a humans, we only reach to 2 feet long. I started suffocating and bleeding out while the fisherman watched in horror. They watched as I struggled to fight back.
My skin turned blue, my tail began to rot, my top began to get soaked with blood, and my gill took in way more air than I’m used to. Sadly, I had to experience the worstest fear known to aquatic creatures, Oxygen Poisoning.
I somehow managed to die for the fourth time in a row due to Mark Lee and those stupid three dollars. Mark Lee, you owe me my three dollars. You and those three dollars keep killing me, Mark Lee. Give me my money, Mark Lee!
This time when I was reborn as an 80 year old woman, I wasted no time to track down the nursing home Mark Lee was in.
I stormed into his room and weakly slapped him with my bag.
“Pay me my 3 dollars you wrinkly old man.”
“Who are you?”
“You know who I am. Where’s my money?”
Mark went through my bag and pulled out three dollars. “Here’s three dollars. Buy yourself something nice!”
I clutched my chest, and suffered a heart attack. I realized then that me lending him three dollars was not the issue, him being in contact with my three dollars was.
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